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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29337000">Sitting Waiting Wishing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsmadeofbooks/pseuds/heartsmadeofbooks'>heartsmadeofbooks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boxer Blaine Anderson, Brotherly Angst, Drama, Event Planner Kurt Hummel, Family Drama, Family Feels, M/M, Rom-Com vibes, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Unrealistic adoption process, Wedding Planner Kurt Hummel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:07:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>93,761</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29337000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsmadeofbooks/pseuds/heartsmadeofbooks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel can't find a man worth dating to save his life. Tired of waiting for his elusive Prince Charming, Kurt decides to start a family on his own. But what if Prince Charming is neither opportune nor charming? Kurt is about to start a journey in which romance and fatherhood might go in different directions, and Blaine Anderson might as well be an obstacle… or a destination.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson &amp; Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone!<br/>I hope you're all having a lovely week. <br/>The fic I re-sharing with you all today is another one that I would put in the top 3 of fics I've enjoyed writing the most. I wanted it to have a sort of rom-com vibe... and then I added a bit extra angst here and there just because I could. But it's not as heavy as others, I promise! I just live for drama.<br/>Sitting Waiting Wishing was my first fic after Glee ended, written and posted between 2015 and 2016.  For a long time, I thought it was going to be the last one – but then the boys pulled me back, as they often do.<br/>I hope you'll enjoy ♥</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Name: Kurt Hummel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Age: 30.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Occupation: Wedding planner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Place of residence: New York.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Marital status:</em>
</p><p>Kurt paused and bit his lip anxiously. Everyone told him he was making a mistake. Everyone told him he still had lots of time. He could wait. He was young. But Kurt had a huge void inside of him and didn't want to wait for some random stranger who might never show up.</p><p>Husband or not, Kurt Hummel was ready to start his family.</p><p>He wrote the word 'single' in the blank space and continued with the rest of the form. Once he was done entering all his personal information, he moved on to the rest – about his financial status, his residence, and his medical background. Kurt reviewed the very thorough questionnaire a hundred times, to ensure he didn't screw anything up.</p><p>Life hadn't turned out the way Kurt had expected. Only living in the city of his dreams had gone according to plan. He was a wedding planner, instead of becoming a star on a Broadway stage or pursuing a career in fashion. He was disappointingly single, with a collection of exes and failed dates he wished he could forget about. He still lived in a shoebox apartment in SoHo, when he thought he would have moved to a nice brownstone somewhere quieter where he and his husband could raise a family. But there was no husband in the picture and his bedroom could barely fit a queen size bed; he couldn't open the fridge in the kitchen unless he was almost sitting on top of the counter, and the shower was practically claustrophobia inducing.</p><p>Until now, those things hadn't really bothered him. He had lived in this apartment for years now and it was conveniently close to work. But as soon as he started trying to figure out how to fit a crib between the couch and his work table, he realized it was time to find a new place.</p><p>He was financially stable, and could easily afford a two-bedroom apartment in a nice area. His small but successful wedding planning company was thriving, busier every week. Currently, he was working with five different couples to create their perfect wedding day. It was a lot of work, and it demanded a lot of late nights, but the money was steady and he knew he would be able to balance being a father on top of everything else.</p><p>A father. A dad. He had dreamed of this for years, made lists with baby names and tried picturing what his son or daughter would look like a million times. He imagined taking his kid to the park on Sundays. He imagined himself sewing Halloween costumes and dresses for dolls and uniforms for the baseball team. He imagined Christmas - the way his kid's face would light up with the magic of it, how they would make snowmen and bake cookies together. He imagined bedtime stories and cuddling on the couch watching Disney movies...</p><p>Kurt kept imagining more and more scenarios, and his smile went bigger and bigger with each of them. He wanted to be a dad. It was time. Even if he had no one to share it with.</p><p>His best friend, Rachel, told him he was insane. She had a one-year-old girl that demanded every second of her day. She had decided to stay home until Lilah was old enough to go to kindergarten, and giving up her career had been a tough choice. But she had a husband who could easily provide for them, Rachel kept reminding him. Kurt couldn't allow himself the luxury of missing work if he had a new, tiny little mouth to feed.</p><p>His brother, Finn, was a teacher back in Ohio and had looked at Kurt with huge eyes when Kurt told him about his decision during one of their Skype calls. He and his wife Marley had twin boys, five-year-olds that drove them crazy constantly.</p><p>"Kurt, it's hard work. Both Marley and I have jobs, there have been toys spread all over the house since the boys were born, and I don't think we've had time for ourselves since she was pregnant. It's tough. I mean, I can't tell you what to do, but I don't want you to make a decision based on how cute a baby is. And doing it on your own... you saw how hard it was for our parents to raise us on their own..."</p><p>"There are plenty of single parents out there, Finn," Kurt had said patiently. "I wouldn't be the first or the last guy on earth to do this without someone else around to help me out. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because I know it'll be hard, but... I just really want it. And what if I never find the right guy? What if I wait and wait for him, and he doesn't show up? I want to be young enough to enjoy every stage in my baby's life. I don't want to be fifty when I finally get to send him or her to kindergarten..."</p><p>Desperate for understanding and approval, Kurt turned to the one person who never let him down. His father was quiet for a very long time after Kurt announced what he was planning to do, and Kurt fidgeted with the phone glued to his ear, nervously.</p><p>"Are you sure, Kurt?" Burt Hummel had asked carefully. "I mean, I trust your judgment if you say you're ready and you can handle it, but you have to know how tough it is to go through something as wonderful as parenthood without someone to share it with. After your mother died, and you did something I was particularly proud of, I would turn my head to tell her about it, but she wasn't there. There's not going to be anyone to share all the firsts with, or anyone to help you out during the hard times. It's difficult and challenging enough to have the responsibility of raising a child, keeping them healthy and happy and fed, when it's two people who do it together. Doing it on your own means you'll barely have a second to yourself, your career will have to come second to every single one of your child's demands and needs, and your dating life... if you think you're having trouble finding a good guy now, just wait until they find out they would be getting two for the price of one..."</p><p>So maybe Burt hadn't been half as encouraging as Kurt had expected him to be. But Kurt knew, deep within him, how right this felt. So despite everyone's warnings and reservations, Kurt had stopped by the adoption agency to get his application forms.</p><p>Kurt Hummel was going to be a dad, and if the love of his life ever found him, he would have to accept that.</p><hr/><p>It was a Tuesday morning when Kurt stopped by the Adoption Center on 23rd street to drop off his application, nervous and excited in equal proportions, trying to suppress his impatience, because it could be months before he started his family. But now he was one step closer.</p><p>When he arrived at the bar he regularly frequented on Tuesday nights after work, he had to bite his lip not to blurt the news to his girlfriends as soon as he dropped onto their table. Santana was talking anyway – something about a client she had almost murdered that day, nothing out of the ordinary – and he didn't want to be rude.</p><p>Every week, he, Rachel, Santana and her wife Dani got together to unwind with a drink or two. Tuesdays were the perfect days because drinks were half-off, they still had most of the week ahead so they needed something to keep them going, and Rachel's husband, Will, had a late start on Wednesday mornings, so he could stay up with their daughter and wait for Rachel to get home.</p><p>Kurt ordered a glass of white wine while Santana finished her story, and relaxed against the back of his seat, stretching his legs under the table. It had been a very long day, with several dress fittings for a bride and her bridesmaids, and a tasting with a catering company for another wedding. It had been difficult staying focused when he wanted to shout from the rooftops that he was finally doing what he had always dreamed of doing.</p><p>Santana finally finished telling the story of how she had almost eviscerated a man – something that was less and less impressive every day, since she constantly seemed to be threatening that – and turned to Kurt, acknowledging his presence at last.</p><p>"What's up, Lady Lips? How was your day?"</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes at the nickname, already used to Santana's ways. "Long, but good…"</p><p>Rachel leaned over the table, resting her chin on her palm and staring at him. "There's something different about you… it's like you're glowing or something…"</p><p>"Oh my god, did you get some?" Santana asked, suddenly a lot more interested. "Who was it? Where was it? Give me all the dirty details."</p><p>"I didn't have sex with anyone, Santana," Kurt huffed impatiently. "Why does it always have to be about sex? Can't I be happy about something else?"</p><p>"Well, considering how long it's been, I'm pretty sure you need to find some and be happy about it, Hummel," Santana replied, arching her eyebrow.</p><p>"You know, it's kind of creepy that you're keeping count of my sexual encounters. You need a new hobby," Kurt retorted, taking a sip from his wine and enjoying the warmth it spread through him.</p><p>Santana opened her mouth to answer, but Dani shushed her before she even had the chance to speak. "So? What is it? Good day at work?"</p><p>Kurt bit his lip and almost couldn't hold the squeal of excitement that was threatening to escape him. "I dropped the application at the adoption center today!"</p><p>There was a slightly awkward silence. Rachel and Santana exchanged glances, and only Dani smiled brightly at him.</p><p>"Oh, Kurt!" She exclaimed, reaching for his hand and squeezing hard. "That's amazing! Congratulations!"</p><p>"Thank you, Dani," he said, truly touched. He squeezed her hand back before turning to the other two. "You think I'm making a mistake, don't you?"</p><p>"Well, not exactly, but…" Rachel started to say carefully, but Santana interrupted her.</p><p>"Yup, biggest mistake of your life," she said, leaning back on her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. "You are an idiot, Hummel. You are going to throw your life away. Why do you need a kid right now? If you're lonely, get a cat. Or better, get a freaking boyfriend. It's impressive how hard it is for you to actually find a man, considering your field of work. You help people get married every single week, and yet you can't even get to a second date? If you suck that bad at relationships, what makes you think you can handle raising a child? You'll be regretting this as soon as that little spawn of Satan throws up on your favorite Gucci shoes…"</p><p>Kurt frowned at her, his fingers tightening around his glass. "Why are you being so cold-hearted?"</p><p>"I just don't think you've thought this through. You work too much, you barely go out, and you haven't had sex in like a year. A baby is going to make everything complicated. You're still young! Why are you rushing into this?" She asked, and she sounded genuinely curious.</p><p>"I know I'm still young. I know most people won't understand why I need to do this. I just know I want it, Santana," he explained softly. God, he had been so happy five minutes ago. He knew his friends didn't understand why he was doing this, but he was hoping they would be happy for him regardless. "I'm not an idiot who thinks this is going to be a piece of cake. I'm sure there will be days when I'll wonder if I made a mistake… but deep down inside, I know that I'm going to love my kid too much to ever regret it. I don't care if the baby throws up on all of my shoes or if I have to be up all night."</p><p>"We're just worried, sweetie," Rachel said in a soothing voice. "It's such a big step…"</p><p>"I know it is. That's why I was hoping I would be able to count on you guys. You're my girls," Kurt pouted, something that should have looked pathetic but actually still worked after all these years. "I want to be a dad my own father can be proud of. He had to raise me practically on his own. I don't need anybody either…"</p><p>"But you want to find a man one day," Rachel replied. "And you know it's going to be harder if you have a kid…"</p><p>"Everyone says so," Kurt said tiredly. "But the way I see it… having a kid will help me be more careful about the guys I date. I'm too old to date douchebags with no future… I'm too old for one-night-stands. I want a guy who's here to stay…"</p><p>"Well, you sure as hell aren't helping them <em>want</em> to stay," Santana said sharply, but when Dani glared at her, she sighed. "Fine. I do support you, Kurt, even if I think you're insane. I don't know what you want a kid for. If you want something tiny and adorable to dress up in ridiculous outfits that will match your equally ridiculous outfits, just get a freaking Chihuahua, okay?"</p><p>"Sometimes I forget why I hang out with you," Kurt downed the rest of his wine and signaled the waitress to get him another one.</p><p>"Because I'm fantastic and I keep it real," Santana shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing on Earth.</p><p>"Ignore her," Dani muttered. "She likes to think she's all tough and insensitive, but as soon as she gets within reach of that kid of yours, she's going to <em>melt</em>."</p><p>"Look guys, I…" Kurt paused and looked down at the glass of wine the waitress had just set on the table for him. He took a deep breath. "It feels like we are always waiting for something to happen so we can live our life, or look for our happiness, or search for the one thing that will make us complete. Why do we have to wait? When do you stop waiting? Who says you have to follow a certain list of steps before you can get exactly where you want to go? I wanna be a dad. I've known that for a long time. And when I realized I didn't need a husband for that, when I realized I could actually do it alone… it felt right. And yeah, I'm scared. It's a scary thing, but everything wonderful is worth taking a risk…"</p><p>Rachel's smile softened. "You're right. And I, for one, will be there for you every step of the way. I can give you parenting tips whenever you need them."</p><p>"Thanks, Rach," he chuckled, leaning closer to kiss her cheek.</p><p>"Santana and I can babysit," Dani said excitedly. "We'll be the cool aunts who get to spoil the kid while you're working late or on a hot date."</p><p>"Hey, I want to be a cool aunt, too!" Rachel protested.</p><p>"You'll never be cool, Berry. You have to reborn to even have the chance to be cool, and it's still not guaranteed," Santana said, but when Dani nudged her with her elbow and gave her a meaningful look, she sighed. "Fine. I'll be nice. I have no idea why you'd want to put yourself through all this, but…"</p><p>"Oh come on, San," Dani cut her off. "A baby! Wouldn't that be adorable? Can't you picture us with a baby, too?"</p><p>Santana's gaze softened in that way it only did around her wife. She moved in for a quick kiss and stroked Dani's blonde hair. "Yeah… I can totally picture us, especially you. You'd be such a beautiful mom…"</p><p>The way they were looking into each other's eyes very intently told Kurt and Rachel they were lost to the world for the next few minutes, so Kurt turned to his best friend.</p><p>"I don't want to get too excited, though. I mean, I don't even know if this will happen relatively soon or not…" he explained nervously. "It all depends on whether one of the birthmothers picks me. There are literally thousands of potential parents, so… this could take years."</p><p>"Let's be positive, okay?" Rachel said, grabbing his hand. "It'll happen when it's supposed to happen. And in the meantime, you can start getting ready for it…"</p><p>"I'm glad you brought that up, because I actually want to move to a new place," Kurt said, causing Dani and Santana to snap out of their trance and focus back on the other two. "I would like a three bedroom apartment, maybe near a park so I can take the baby out for a walk often. Looking for the perfect new home will keep me distracted from waiting for news, too. So…"</p><p>Rachel sighed in contentment and looked around the table. "Can you guys believe how far we've gone? Kurt is going to be a dad, Santana and Dani are married, and I have a wonderful husband and a perfect little girl… back in high school, we thought we would end up alone…"</p><p>Santana opened her mouth to make a remark that would surely be sharp, slightly hurtful and crude, but Dani knew her well. She raised her glass before her wife could say anything.</p><p>"To us! May we keep proving our high school selves wrong!"</p><p>They all drank to that.</p><hr/><p>One of the things Santana had said that night haunted Kurt for weeks, though he usually took everything she said with a grain of salt. She tended to be a bitch most of the time. Though Kurt knew she was a good person deep down inside, it didn't change the fact that she was rude and heartless at least a ninety percent of the time. But there was really something that he couldn't ignore – it was certainly ironic that he was a wedding planner who made his living giving people their happily ever afters, but he couldn't find one for himself.</p><p>Kurt had accepted that love wasn't as easy as movies made it look. Life always seemed to get in the way somehow, and even though he tried to be open to dating and meeting new people, he hadn't yet found anyone he was interested in staying with long term. His longest relationship had made it to almost two years, and by the end of it, he felt so little for the guy he was supposed to be madly in love with that he couldn't exactly remember how they had ended it.</p><p>When he was just a kid back in Ohio, dreaming of living in a big city where he could be himself, Kurt had naively believed that as soon as he arrived in New York, things would magically change. He would find people just like him, and the love of his life would be around the corner. But as the years went by, he had learned that real life didn't work that way, his relationships proving less than stellar. It came to a point where he was a lot more interested in working late than going home to his boyfriend or going out on a date with a new guy.</p><p>The surprising thing was, however, that Kurt wasn't bitter about it in the slightest. He didn't need a man to be happy, and even though it would be nice to have someone to love who would love him right back, he had learned to enjoy his life without it. And that was why he didn't think he truly needed to be in a very long, committed relationship before thinking of parenthood – he could have a baby, even if he had no one to share all the amazing moments and responsibilities with.</p><p>It was a scary, wonderful thing to do, and Kurt was convinced that it was the best decision he had ever made.</p><p>Now he just needed to wait.</p><hr/><p>Kurt was walking down 43rd street in a hurry. He had a couple of binders in his arms and an umbrella hanging from his elbow in anticipation for the imminent rain. He was meeting a new vendor for a new wedding he had booked – the bride had changed her mind about the flowers at the last possible minute and his usual vendors didn't have the rare type of orchid she demanded. Times like this, Kurt wished for the boring customers who wanted white roses.</p><p>He was grateful it was almost Tuesday night, because a nice relaxing drink with his girls sounded like exactly what he needed.</p><p>Kurt cursed under his breath when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He hurried toward the Starbucks just down the street, but his phone stopped just as he pushed the door open. He dumped all his binders and the umbrella on a vacant table and huffed in annoyance as he fished the phone out of his back pocket.</p><p>Kurt hoped the missed call from an unrecognized number wasn't the venue he was trying to book for the Carter wedding. The nightmarish future Mrs. Carter had demanded to know by the end of the day whether the venue of her dreams. Kurt had had to call in a lot of favors to even get the owners to consider moving a few things around so they could fit the wedding in. Kurt knew that if he pulled this off, he would feel invincible.</p><p>Just as he was trying to decide if he had time for a cup of coffee, the phone began to vibrate once again, insistently. Kurt grabbed his satchel and looked for his planner as he took a seat and accepted the call.</p><p>"Kurt Hummel speaking," he said, all business-like.</p><p>"Mr. Hummel? My name's Karen White. I'm calling from the Adoption Center," she announced, and Kurt's heart stopped, his hand freezing inside his satchel where he was trying to find a pen.</p><p>"I… Hi!" He exclaimed dumbly. <em>Oh my god, what if they tell me no one wants me? What if they tell me I'm not a good match for any babies? What if they tell me I'm not meant to be a dad?</em></p><p>"I'm calling because we may have some good news for you. One of the women in our system was very interested in your application and would like to meet with you," she informed him calmly, but Kurt felt that his heart was racing more and more in his chest with every word she said. "We were hoping we could arrange a little meeting for this week?"</p><p>"Yes, yes, that would be fantastic," Kurt said immediately. He had believed he would have to wait months, maybe even years, before someone contacted him about a potential adoption, but it hadn't even been two months. He hadn't even had time to look for a new apartment yet…</p><p>"Are you free tomorrow? Let's say… at two in the afternoon?" Karen asked.</p><p>Kurt flipped through his planner. He had a very busy week – the McKinnon wedding was next week and there were a million things to do before then. But suddenly, he realized this was the first time his commitment was being put to the test. He would have to choose between work and his baby a million times over. What was he going to choose?</p><p>"Tomorrow at two is perfect," he said, making a quick note that he needed to move some appointments around.</p><p>Karen gave him a few more details before she hung up. Kurt dropped the phone onto the planner and took a deep breath, his lungs immediately filling with coffee-scented air. He looked around the busy coffee shop, and fought to stop himself from squealing in excitement.</p><p>Maybe it wasn't so far-fetched to believe that his dreams could come true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt was shaking with anxiety by the time he made it to the bar to see the girls that night. As soon as he found his seat, he grabbed Rachel's Cosmo and downed it in one big gulp.</p><p>"Hey! I was drinking that!" She protested resentfully.</p><p>He reached for Santana's beer, but she slapped his hand away. "Don't even think about it, Hummel."</p><p>Dani was already gesturing for the waitress. "You look terrible. Are you okay?"</p><p>"Yes, I'm great. Freaking out a little, but great," Kurt answered. He took a deep breath and looked at his friends with wide eyes. "I got a call from the adoption agency. I have a meeting tomorrow."</p><p>"Oh my god, really?" Rachel squealed, trapping his hand between hers in a death grip. "You're having a baby?"</p><p>"I don't know yet. I just know a birthmother wants to meet me. Apparently she liked my application? I have no idea what's going on…" Kurt mumbled, pale as a ghost. What if he screwed the meeting up and he never got another shot at this?</p><p>Santana grabbed his face with her hand, her extremely long nails digging into his skin, and forced him to drink from her beer bottle. "I changed my mind. You need to get drunk right now."</p><p>Kurt spluttered, almost spilling the drink all over him. Dani took the beer from Santana, glaring at her wife.</p><p>"Stop it! Let him breathe! He doesn't need to be choked to death right now!"</p><p>Once Rachel ordered a drink for him and Santana sat back quietly, ready to give him all her attention, Kurt told them about the phone call he had received that morning.</p><p>"Well, this is good, right? It's a good sign," Rachel said, smiling broadly. "Doesn't it usually take a lot longer before you even get an interview? Two months… that's great, Kurt. She must have seen something she really liked to make them contact you."</p><p>"What if I blow it?" Kurt asked, eyes wide in panic. "I mean… what if I say or do something horrible, and they tell me I'm not fit to be a parent? Oh my god, what if…?"</p><p>Before Kurt could say another word, Santana slapped him hard across the face.</p><p>"Ouch! Santana, what the fuck?" He screamed, covering his sore cheek with his hand.</p><p>"Stop getting your panties in a twist, Hummel. You want this kid? Then don't be an idiot. Nothing is less attractive than this stupid lack of confidence. You have to go in there tomorrow and show them that the best thing that could ever happen to this kid is to be adopted by you." She pointed at him. There was a fierce look on her face and Kurt recoiled a bit on his seat. Santana was a scary woman. "You keep saying how much you want this and how sure you are that you can do it, but now's the time to actually start proving that. So stop being such a little shit and man up. Jeez."</p><p>Kurt had forgotten how to breathe while he listened to Santana. The other two were watching them silently, completely stunned. It was very weird to see her giving a pep talk, and despite how rude she could be during them, it was incredibly touching. It meant that, deep down inside her cold hard chest, Santana <em>cared</em>.</p><p>Suddenly, that was enough to fill Kurt with confidence.</p><p>He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, ignoring her hisses and protests.</p><p>Dani rubbed his back as he released her wife. "You're going to be great, Kurt. Anyone can see how in love you're with the idea of being a dad. And that's nothing compared to how in love you're going to be with the baby once you have him or her in your arms. You have nothing to worry about."</p><p>"Do you want us to go with you?" Rachel asked, smiling softly at him. "I can go, if you want. I'll take Lilah with me, and they'll see how amazing you're with her."</p><p>Kurt shook his head, but smiled at his girls, unable to believe he had such wonderful friends. "No, thank you. No tricks, no nothing. They need to see me for who I am. And I can't ask you guys to be with me every step of the way – I decided to do this on my own, so I'd better start doing exactly that."</p><p>He took a sip from his drink that the waitress had dropped off at some point during his freak out, and then asked them all about their days. He felt better already, prepared, like he could do anything he wanted to.</p><p>He just needed to remember that feeling the next day, and everything would be alright.</p><hr/><p>Kurt dressed to the nines every single day, but he put special attention into his outfit that day. He stood in front of the mirror for a very long time, making sure everything was exactly as it should be. He carefully picked his accessories, avoiding anything that could pose a danger, in any way. His beautiful heart-shaped brooch was perfect for many occasions, but the spikes and studs that adorned it weren't precisely child-friendly. He settled instead for a nice pocket square with a gorgeous geometrical pattern in blue, purple and green. Today, less was more.</p><p>Once he was on his way to the interview, Kurt felt as if the world was suddenly full of babies with their parents and pregnant women. Everywhere he looked, a sweet couple was pushing a stroller or a young mother kissed her little one's forehead. He hoped the universe was sending him a sign – he could do this. It was happening. He just needed to remain calm.</p><p>Kurt had been so anxious to get to the adoption center that he arrived way too early. He got off the subway and walked to the Starbucks down the block, deciding to kill some time with a mocha.</p><p>He was checking his phone as he waited for his turn in line when he heard the girl in front of him sighing, exasperated.</p><p>"Ugh, I'm sorry. It looks like I forgot my wallet, I…" She kept rummaging through her purse, and shifted to put it on the counter so she could get search more comfortably, and Kurt noticed she had a little baby bump. He smiled, unable to stop himself. "I'm sorry. I'll just…"</p><p>"Here," he said, before he even knew what he was doing. He extended a few bills to the barista. "I'll pay for her order, and can you please add a non-fat mocha to that? Thank you."</p><p>The girl turned to look at him in surprise. She was pretty, with glowing cocoa skin and big brown eyes. Her hair fell onto her back like a cascade and there was something very soft and kind in her face that made her look completely trustworthy at first glance. "Wow. Thank you… you really don't have to…"</p><p>"It's no problem," Kurt replied with a smile. "No reason is a good reason to skip a good coffee break."</p><p>"You're so sweet. Thank you so much. And it's chamomile tea," she said, smiling back, as they moved together down the bar to get their drinks. "I haven't had caffeine in months, and it's killing me."</p><p>"Oh god, I can't imagine," Kurt said, scrunching his face. He didn't feel alive enough to start his day until he had his first cup of coffee in the morning. Having to deal with crazy brides all day usually required at least three or four more cups. It was a miracle he even managed to sleep at night.</p><p>"Yeah, sometimes I dream that I drink the whole coffee pot by myself," she laughed. Her laughter was beautiful, like a dozen little bells tinkling all at the same time. "My doctor said to go easy on the tea, as well, but I think he got scared I would punch him in the face if he told me I couldn't have any…"</p><p>"Yeah, I definitely don't want to be the guy who has to tell people they can't have caffeine for a living," Kurt said and she laughed again. He was about to ask her about the baby – he wanted to know <em>everything</em> about <em>everyone's</em> babies lately – but then their orders were called, so they retrieved them.</p><p>The girl gave him one last warm smile and squeezed his arm gently. "Thanks again. Sometimes a stranger's generosity is exactly what one needs to make your day, or even your week." Her phone rang and she cursed under her breath, taking it out of her pocket. "Oh god, I have to take this. Thanks again, kind stranger! Have a lovely day!"</p><p>"You too!" Kurt called after her, as he watched her walk out of the coffee shop, already on her phone.</p><p>He looked at his phone as well, just to make sure he still had time, and chose a seat by the window so he could enjoy a few minutes in the afternoon sunshine. Kurt sipped his drink thoughtfully, mentally preparing all the answers to the possible questions the people at the adoption center might ask him.</p><p>When it was almost time, he left Starbucks and walked to the building where he had dropped his application only two months prior. It was one of the smaller buildings in the area, and the lobby was decorated with pictures of all the beautiful families they had helped create. He announced himself at the reception desk and then waited, walking slowly around to see every single picture – they were beautiful, heartwarming.</p><p>"Mr. Hummel?" A voice called behind him, and Kurt turned to find a woman in her forties, with her dark brown hair in a tight bun and a kind but serious look on her blue eyes. "I'm Karen White. We talked on the phone yesterday."</p><p>"Yes, hi, how are you? It's very nice to meet you," he said, hoping he didn't sound like an anxious kid. He shook her hand and gave her a polite smile.</p><p>"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm sorry if we kept you waiting, but we always make sure to have a nice, long conversation with the birthmothers before they meet the potential parents," she explained, as she guided him towards the elevator. "The plan for today is actually very simple. We'll introduce you two, ask you some questions, and then, if she agrees, you can chat privately for a moment."</p><p>"That sounds great," Kurt said. His throat felt a little dry, and he kept wringing his hands together in anticipation. "To be honest, I'm just shocked and excited that I got a call so quickly. Even if nothing comes from this, and she decides to go for someone else… this helped me realize how real all of this is, and it made me want it even more."</p><p>Karen smiled at him softly. "She seemed impressed with your application. So were we, of course."</p><p>They got out of the elevator on the third floor and she showed him to a large conference room. Karen entered first and then closed the door behind them.</p><p>"Tanya, this is Kurt Hummel. Mr. Hummel, this is Tanya," she introduced, standing behind the other woman's chair.</p><p>Kurt's eyes widened for a moment in surprise, and then settled on the now empty Starbucks cup on the table.</p><p>"Oh, it's you!" Tanya exclaimed, standing up. She smiled at Kurt and extended her hand to him.</p><p>"You two know each other?" Karen asked, her eyebrow arching curiously.</p><p>"Not really. He's the kind stranger who paid for my drink at Starbucks, after I forgot my wallet this morning," Tanya explained. "Well, this is one hell of a coincidence. Unless you believe in fate, Mr. Hummel?"</p><p>"Sometimes I do," Kurt replied, still quite stunned. "Oh, and it's Kurt, please. Just Kurt."</p><p>"Alright, just Kurt," Tanya winked at him. "Come on, sit by my side and let's talk for a while."</p><p>Her warm personality and open nature immediately helped Kurt relax. He took a seat next to hers, while Karen sat on the other side of the table to face them.</p><p>"Mr. Hummel, if you don't mind… please tell us about yourself. We've read your application, but we'd like to get to know you better," Karen said, going into business mode and leaning over the table to give him her undivided attention.</p><p>"Well, I'm thirty years old and I have a company of my own, Hummel Events. I mainly organize weddings, though I work on other type of events every now and then," Kurt said. He didn't know what to say that they hadn't already read, but he really wanted to make a good impression. "I'm currently looking for a new apartment, a bigger one, with a bedroom I could turn into a nursery, but for now I live in a small apartment in SoHo. I'm originally from Ohio, and my family still lives there…"</p><p>"Are there any children in your family, Mr. Hummel?" Karen inquired.</p><p>"My brother – well, stepbrother –, Finn, has five year old twins. Those two and my dad are the main reasons I try to visit as often as I possibly can. And my best friend, Rachel, who lives here in New York, has a two year old girl, Lilah, so I spend a lot of time with her, too. She's practically my niece. We've known each other since we were kids." For a moment, Kurt wondered if he should have agreed to Rachel's crazy plan and brought Lilah with him so they could see he was comfortable around babies.</p><p>"And how would you handle taking care of a baby at the same time you run your own company?" Karen was looking at him too intently, and though Kurt knew she was just doing her job, it was unnerving.</p><p>"Well, I was thinking about working from home as much as I possibly can the first six months or so, and delegating most of my tasks to my assistants. I have very trustworthy employees who can take over for me for a while," Kurt explained in a calm voice that didn't reflect how he really felt. "Once both the baby and I are used to each other and we have a better handle on things, I would consider a nanny or a daycare, probably."</p><p>Karen continued asking questions, most of them about Kurt's lifestyle and checking various details of his application. Kurt replied calmly, patiently and as specifically as possible. Both Tanya and Karen exchanged nods at several points, clearly pleased with what they were hearing.</p><p>They had been talking for at least an hour when Karen closed the file, and looked at Tanya, who nodded once more.</p><p>"Alright. I'm going to leave you two to talk. I'll be in the office next door if you need anything," she said. She left the door ajar, the sound of her heels muffled by the carpeted floor.</p><p>Kurt turned in his seat to face Tanya, smiling at her brightly.</p><p>"So…" She said, clapping her hands together.</p><p>"So…" He murmured back. His eyes automatically shifted down to her baby bump. "I'm sorry, may I… may I ask you how far along you are?"</p><p>"Of course you may! Ask me whatever you want to know," Tanya answered, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "And this is the fourth month."</p><p>"And everything is going well? The baby's okay?" He asked as he bit his lip. He wanted to know <em>everything</em>.</p><p>"Yes. Every sonogram and test have come back all clear," she explained patiently. "I even know the sex of the baby, if you… if you want to know…"</p><p>Kurt stared at her breathlessly. God, he did want to know, but a part of him had always dreamed of finding out the moment he had his baby in his arms. And another part of him was terrified that he got to know too much about this baby, only for this opportunity to be taken away from him.</p><p>"I think I'd rather not know," he said politely.</p><p>"I understand."</p><p>There was a little pause in which they just smiled at each other, and Kurt was about to ask her more, when she interrupted.</p><p>"I'm sure you want to know why I'm doing this," she began, looking down at her lap.</p><p>"Oh. Oh, no, it's fine. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. Your story is your own, and it's none of my business," Kurt said quickly, trying to reassure her.</p><p>"If you end up adopting my baby, then it is your business," Tanya said seriously, but her eyes were still sweet and peaceful.</p><p>Kurt gulped at the sound of that. He didn't want to get too excited about something that wasn't a hundred percent certain, but… "Okay…" He agreed quietly.</p><p>She cleared her throat. "I'm a sophomore in college, majoring in biochemistry."</p><p>"That's amazing," Kurt said, impressed.</p><p>"Thank you," she grinned proudly. "I'm there on a scholarship, to be honest. My family isn't very supportive of my career choices. They are extremely religious and think studying science is mocking our Lord's creation…" She rolled her eyes. "I'm a spiritual person myself, but I love science. I think it's fascinating."</p><p>Kurt could really see how much she loved what she did, so he smiled back at her and waited for the rest of the story.</p><p>"Anyway… they told me that if I wanted to pursue this nonsense, I would have to pay my own way. I got the scholarship and a part time job near campus and never looked back. But I would like to make amends with them someday. And if they found out I'm pregnant…" She actually shuddered, as if even thinking about it was terrifying. "The truth is… I'm not even sure I want to have children one day. I've never been the maternal type. My family is very big and I have a bunch of nephews and nieces, and even though I love them to pieces, they drive me nuts. I can't imagine myself having kids or giving up my career for them…"</p><p>Kurt instinctively reached for her hand, sensing that this was a difficult thing for her to say.</p><p>"I made a mistake. My roommate took me to a party, I was upset after another argument with my father, and I just let go for once. I slept with a guy, and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant," Tanya shrugged, but her eyes were filled with tears. "I was very stupid, but now I'm trying to do the right thing and find this baby the best family I can…"</p><p>"Oh Tanya," he said with a sad smile. "Everyone makes mistakes…"</p><p>"I know. But I don't want them to define my life. And if I don't get this right, I'll never forgive myself. And if my parents find out, my family won't ever forgive me," Tanya murmured miserably.</p><p>Kurt felt so badly for her. "I can tell you're an amazing person, and I've only known you for a little over an hour. If your family can't appreciate that, then they don't know what they are missing. And whoever gets to adopt your baby, even if it's not me, will be so incredibly lucky… and I'm sure they will give your baby all the love it deserves."</p><p>Tanya's smile, though watery, was blindingly beautiful. "I like you, Kurt Hummel. I think you're a wonderful man, and you're going to be a fantastic father…"</p><p>Kurt choked a bit at her words, touched. "You don't even know me…"</p><p>"You don't know me either, and you have shown me a lot more kindness than anyone else in my life in the past four months," she patted his knee. "I know enough."</p><p>Kurt's heart fluttered in his chest, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions. He was sure Tanya still had a lot of people to interview before she made the final decision.</p><p>Karen came back a few minutes later, and the meeting was over. She thanked Kurt for her time and assured him they would get in touch if they had any news for him. But the parting hug Tanya enveloped him in filled him with hope.</p><hr/><p>After the meeting, Kurt's heart was light, and there was a slight spring in his step. He didn't know if this was the answer he had been looking for, if he would get the call he dreamed of, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling incredibly positive. Tanya had been such a sweetheart, and Karen had given him a very reassuring smile before he left.</p><p>Kurt knew that if this wasn't the opportunity that would help him become a father, he would fight even harder for the next one. Now he was a thousand percent sure that this was exactly what he wanted, what he needed in his life. He wasn't giving up.</p><p>This realization was what helped him through the following days. He was working on a very challenging wedding, and for once, the bride wasn't the one making his life hell. It was the groom.</p><p>Cooper Anderson was a charming, attractive bastard who thought he could get his way just smiling at Kurt. His future wife, Michelle, was a stunning French girl at least twelve years younger than him, who simply nodded at everything Kurt said while staring at her fiancé adoringly. There were times when Kurt wondered if she understood English at all – he had the feeling she had no idea what she was getting herself into.</p><p>"Kurt Hummel!" Cooper exclaimed rather exaggeratedly, as he stepped into the restaurant they were meeting at. He removed his sunglasses and smiled, dazzling every single person in the room with his pearly white teeth.</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes, but stood to greet him, extending his hand. "Mr. Anderson. It's nice to see you again."</p><p>"Oh please," Cooper said, dragging him into a hug. "Drop the formalities. We're friends!"</p><p>They were most definitely not friends. Kurt had his own share of self-centered friends. His quota was filled. But Cooper was a client. He wanted him to be happy enough to keep signing his checks. "Of course, Cooper. Why don't you take a seat?"</p><p>Cooper dropped onto the chair opposite Kurt's quite unceremoniously. "Man, I love this place. You need to try their crepes. They are mouth-watering."</p><p>"I'm sure they are," Kurt conceded in a monotone. Cooper was like a kid with a short attention span. Kurt had been dealing with him for a while now. "Now, why don't we…"</p><p>But before he could get down to business, the waitress stopped at their table, gazing adoringly at Cooper like a deer caught in the headlights. Kurt was used to seeing that look in women's (and men's) eyes whenever they saw Cooper for the first time. He had to admit his client was ridiculously attractive, but would never admit that he had had a very similar reaction upon their first meeting.</p><p>"Hi, my name is Andrea and I will be your waitress today," she announced breathlessly. "Have you decided what you would like to order?"</p><p>Cooper grinned up at her. "We'll get the crepes, please. And two cups of your best coffee."</p><p>"I'll just have coffee, please," Kurt interceded.</p><p>But she didn't even seem to notice there was anyone else at the table besides Cooper. "Crepes. Of course."</p><p>Kurt sighed in exasperation and waited until Andrea walked away and Cooper's attention went back to him. "So how is Michelle doing?"</p><p>"Oh, she's great, she's great," Cooper said distractedly. "She was going to another dress fitting today. I have the last appointment for my suit this afternoon, and hopefully I'll finally get my brother to come with me and try his on…"</p><p>"This brother of yours is quite elusive. Is he going to make it to the rehearsal dinner? I want to make sure he knows what he has to do," Kurt said, arching an eyebrow.</p><p>"I'm sure he will," Cooper assured him, but he didn't seem too worried about it.</p><p>After that, Cooper went on a tangent while they waited for their food to arrive, as he usually did. Kurt had never met someone so eager to talk about himself, and he was friends with Rachel Berry. This didn't mean Cooper was a bad person – he had a kind heart, deep down inside. He was just too busy admiring himself in the mirror to help others see that.</p><p>Kurt glanced down at his planner discretely. He had another meeting he needed to get to in less than two hours. Knowing Cooper, he was never going to make it on time if he couldn't get him to focus on the matter at hand.</p><p>"So, Cooper…" he said, taking advantage of a pause when Cooper was busy shoving some crepes into his mouth. "Why did you ask to meet me today? Is there something wrong?"</p><p>"I changed my mind about the limo," Cooper said, stunning blue eyes fixed on the ceiling thoughtfully. "I want a horse-drawn carriage to take us from the ceremony to the reception. And then from the reception to our hotel."</p><p>Kurt's temples throbbed in anticipation of a headache. It seemed to happen very often during his meetings with Cooper Anderson.</p><p>"Cooper…" he said slowly and as patiently as he could, as if talking to a kid. "You can't keep making changes to the wedding all the time. The limo has been scheduled and paid for already. The wedding is in two weeks. There is no time to make any more changes."</p><p>Cooper pouted. It should have been pathetic in a forty year old man, but the bastard managed to pull it off. Unfortunately for him, Kurt was used to being a cold hearted bitch when it came to pouty customers.</p><p>"I'm begging you. Stop making changes," Kurt said, leaning over the table. "I already had to change all the flower arrangements last week. My vendor was so unhappy and annoyed that he threatened to never work with me again. Please."</p><p>"Just this one thing?" Cooper pleaded. "I want Michelle to have a fairy tale wedding. It's only fair, since she's marrying a Disney prince…"</p><p>"Oh my god," Kurt had to hold back to urge to bang his head against the table. He would have promised Cooper a dragon that would carry him to the altar if it got him to stop talking. "<em>Fine</em>. I'll see what I can do. But no promises. Just please stop changing your mind every two minutes."</p><p>Cooper smiled, pleased, and leaned back in his seat. "That's perfect. Thank you so much. I knew you would say yes. You're going to make our day so incredibly magical. That's why you're the best in this town."</p><p>"Flattery will get you nowhere," Kurt deadpanned. "But sticking to our plan will. So just stop letting your imagination run wild, please. This is the last concession I'm willing to make."</p><p>Cooper smiled so broadly it almost blinded him. "I'll be very good. I promise."</p><hr/><p>"I changed my mind about the song for our first dance," Cooper said four days later.</p><p>Kurt groaned in frustration and considered pushing Cooper under a bus. "<em>Cooper</em>."</p><p>"<em>Sway</em> is overrated. I want <em>Eye of the Tiger</em> instead."</p><p>Kurt was now thinking of places where he could hide the body. "Are you kidding me?"</p><p>"I think it'll give the wedding a very unique touch."</p><p>The idea of chopping him into little pieces started to sound very appealing. "No. Cooper, listen to me right now. Read my lips if you're actually deaf, which you probably are considering what you are asking me: <em>no</em>."</p><p>There it was, another one of Cooper's patented pouts. "Kurt, come on…"</p><p>"No. You promised. I got you that damn horse-drawn carriage, and you said that was the last thing. There is no time to make more changes…" Kurt rubbed at his temples tiredly. "And I'm definitely not making a change in order to make <em>Eye of the Tiger</em> the song for your first dance with your wife."</p><p>"Why not?" Cooper asked, scandalized. "It's a great song!"</p><p>"Because Michelle will probably divorce you the following morning if you do that. How do you even come up with this stuff?" Kurt exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment.</p><p>Cooper deflated. "Ugh, you're no fun. Okay."</p><p>Kurt sighed in relief. "Thank you. Now why don't you…"</p><p>"But then I want to sing a song," Cooper continued, in that thoughtful voice that made Kurt slightly nauseous. It usually meant he would have extra hours of work ahead in order to pull off whatever it was Cooper wanted <em>now</em>. "I'm sure you know I'm a fantastic singer. I've sent you the bootleg of my show, haven't I?"</p><p>"Yes. You told me Broadway was dead before you, and that you brought it back," Kurt said with a groan. God, where had this man even come from?</p><p>"Exactly! I have a fantastic voice, don't I? Michelle will love it. Just one song, Kurt, come on. I want to sing at my wedding. All the attention should be on me, right? Since it's my wedding?"</p><p>Kurt watched him, wishing he could still be amused every time Cooper opened his mouth. Those days were gone. He had stopped being amused by him long ago. Now he was one step away from calling Michelle and telling her that she still had time to call off the wedding and escape from marrying this lunatic.</p><p>His phone rang before he had the chance to tell Cooper that the groom usually wanted the attention to be on the bride, with her beautiful white dress.</p><p>"I need to take this call," he said, glad to have an excuse to step aside for a moment. He exited the office and walked down the hall in search of some peace as he accepted it. "Hello?"</p><p>"Mr. Hummel?" A female voice said. "Hi. This is Karen White, from the adoption center."</p><p>Kurt's stomach immediately churned in anxiety. Had she called to let him know Tanya had chosen someone else? He braced himself for the worst. "Hi, how are you?"</p><p>"Good, thank you. I actually have news for you," Karen announced, and the two seconds it took her to continue talking seemed to drag on eternally as Kurt practically had a heart attack as he waited. "Tanya was very happy and impressed, both with your application and your interview. She was adamant that she didn't need to meet anyone else. We asked her to give it some more thought to be sure, but she insists you're the perfect candidate."</p><p>Kurt's breath stuttered out of him and he had to lean against the wall in order not to fall to the floor.</p><p>"So, congratulations. We were hoping you could stop by sometime this week so we can sign some papers and go through some legal formalities?"</p><p>It took Kurt a moment to answer, and once he did, it seemed like the words tumbled out of him in a mess. He was so excited and stunned at the same time that he wasn't even sure he was making sense, but he still managed to agree on a day and time to meet with the agency and Tanya to go over the details.</p><p>He stumbled back into his office once he hung up, having completely forgotten Cooper was still there. Cooper looked at him with slight concern tainting his beautiful face, as Kurt dropped onto his chair with a lack of elegance very uncharacteristic in him.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Cooper asked, frowning.</p><p>"You can sing whatever the hell you want," Kurt muttered, dazed. He didn't give a damn about Cooper's wedding right now.</p><p>He was going to be a dad.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The news had spread through his family and friends like a wildfire. Burt had burst into tears on the phone, while Carole asked questions about Tanya and her pregnancy, and Finn simply congratulated him in awe. Rachel, Santana, and Dani took him out for drinks the first chance they got. As they celebrated, Kurt sat there, completely stunned and overwhelmed. In just five short months, his life was going to change radically.</p><p>He was so damn busy with work that he forced himself to push his excitement to the back of his mind – he promised himself he would freak out and dance around his apartment as his own private celebration, but for now… he needed to stop swooning every time he walked by a baby clothing store and cooing at teddy bears. As soon as he was done with the two weddings that were stressing him out, in just a few short weeks, he would start worrying about looking for a new place and decorating his baby's nursery.</p><p>His baby.</p><p>
  <em>Holy shit.</em>
</p><p>He had the last meeting with the future Mr. and Mrs. Carter on a Wednesday afternoon, to make sure they were in tune about every single detail. Their wedding was on Friday, so he wanted them to relax until then. Cooper's wedding was the following week, and he certainly was looking forward to getting that one over with – he didn't want to give Cooper any more chances to change anything.</p><p>He left his office after his clients were sufficiently assured and smiling, and immediately bumped into Santana, who was standing on the sidewalk, wearing a short red dress and ridiculously tall heels.</p><p>"There you are," she said, visibly annoyed. "I was about to go in there and drag you out. You need to stop working so late."</p><p>"Excuse me for having to work," he replied as he rolled his eyes. "What are you doing here anyway? Did we have plans and I forgot? Did you have a fight with Dani?"</p><p>"Please, we don't fight. All our arguments are solely based on the fact that we get to have make up sex right after," Santana arched an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. "And no, we didn't have plans. But we do now, because I'm taking you out for a drink."</p><p>"Again? We went out yesterday, and I have to…" Kurt gestured vaguely towards the binders he was carrying, thinking of the million things he needed to double check before Friday.</p><p>"Hummel," she interrupted, grabbing him by the shoulders. Her long nails dug into the light fabric of his white linen blazer. "You only have five months of freedom. In five months, you're going to be too busy wiping poop from a baby's ass in order to hang out with us. You'll be cancelling plans with us every other day in order to stay home and coo at the little bastard as he or she burps and throws up all over your Versace suits." She fixed him with a pointed glare. "You are free for the next five months, so that means you have to hurry up and <em>live</em>."</p><p>Kurt blinked at her, curiously. "Santana Lopez, is this your way of telling me you'll miss me if I can't hang out with you guys just as much as I do now?"</p><p>"What I'm saying, Lady Lips, is that this is your only chance to go fucking nuts and do whatever you want before you become a boring grown up…"</p><p>"I'm thirty, Santana. I've been a grown man for a while now…"</p><p>"Yes, and you've been boring even longer. Come on. Loosen up. Live a little," she insisted, already dragging him down the street.</p><p>"And going out for drinks with you qualifies as <em>living</em>?" Kurt asked with a snort.</p><p>"It sure as hell is a start," she answered.</p><p>She took him to one of their favorite bars. Drinks were decently priced and delicious, and they loved sitting at the booth by the corner, where they had a perfect view of the entire bar but could still chat peacefully. The music was always good – there was an old U2 song playing when they arrived – and the bartender seemed to like them, since he always gave them one or two free drinks without them needing to even ask for them.</p><p>Kurt sipped his rum and coke for a minute or two in silence before he glanced at Santana with a quirked eyebrow. "So? Happy now? I'm having a drink with you on a Wednesday night. It's life-changing. I'll never be the same again. I'll regret having a kid every time I remember how thrilling this night was," he deadpanned. "Can I go now? I have a lot of work."</p><p>"No can do, my friend," she shook her head stubbornly. "Next step is to get you laid…"</p><p>"What?" Kurt squeaked, setting his glass down a little more forcefully than necessary.</p><p>"You heard me. Your days of sleeping around and having a fulfilling sex life are coming to an end. You're going to fuck your way through every single gay guy in this town before your little bundle of boredom and doom arrives," Santana explained calmly, leaning over the table towards him.</p><p>"Okay, first of all, I am not sleeping with every single gay guy in New York. I don't want my penis to fall off," Kurt said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Second, please stop talking about my unborn child like that."</p><p>"Third, please stop being such an old lady and get some action," Santana added, sighing in exasperation. "I'm serious. You're going to need this. If you don't spend the next few months having a little fun and worrying a little less, there will come a day when you'll wonder what the hell you did while you were still young."</p><p>Behind all the snarky comments and the insults, Kurt found real concern. Santana always played the part of the hard, cold-hearted bitch, but she really did love her friends, deep down inside. He knew she meant well – she just didn't know how to express that without slipping in a few hurtful and crude remarks.</p><p>Kurt sighed and leaned back on his seat, looking around the bar. The pile of binders next to him on the booth seemed to pull his attention every time he fixed his eyes on an attractive guy. He ran a hand through his hair and finally turned back to his friend.</p><p>"Fine," he agreed. Santana grinned triumphantly. "But not tonight," he added immediately. "I really do have too much to do this week. I'll be a lot happier to skip around town and let you be my wing-woman once these two weddings are over. Let me finish with this, and then I promise you I'll relax and have more fun."</p><p>Santana scoffed, but ended up nodding as she sipped her beer. "Okay. But if I don't see you glowing with the satisfaction of a few orgasms in the next two weeks, I'm hiring a male prostitute and tying him to your bed."</p><p>Kurt's face scrunched in disgust. "For the love of God, Santana, do not even think about doing that. I'm perfectly capable of finding a guy myself."</p><p>"You know, I'm not so sure about that," Santana said pointedly.</p><p>Kurt downed the rest of his drink and gathered his stuff. "I'm going home. You should do the same. And stop being so invested in my sex life. It's a little creepy."</p><p>Santana waved him off vaguely, already bored with him and not paying him any attention. Kurt walked down to the subway station with her words swirling around in his head like the summer breeze.</p><hr/><p>Kurt arrived with plenty of time at the Anderson's rehearsal to make sure everything was ready, but as the day advanced, the more problems he encountered.</p><p>A traffic jam made both Cooper and Michelle late. Cooper's brother was nowhere to be seen, and despite how many times Cooper and his mother tried to call him and ask him when he would arrive, the younger Anderson never picked up the phone. Michelle stumbled to the ground after one of her heels broke, straining with her wrist. Luckily, she wasn't seriously injured, but she was sore for the rest of the evening.</p><p>Kurt had a huge headache by the time they were all ready to go to dinner. He was sure this wedding would end up being a disaster. He had never failed at planning a wedding before, but he had never had such bad luck during one either. This didn't look good.</p><p>Once they had finished eating, Kurt approached Cooper quietly.</p><p>"Cooper, do we know for sure if your brother will be able to make it to the wedding?" He asked, wishing this wasn't even a question. Where the hell was that bastard? He had missed every fitting for the suits and every meeting ever since.</p><p>"Of course he will!" Cooper replied brightly. "He's my kid brother. He wouldn't miss my wedding!" He laughed, but there was something awkward and slightly aching in it. "I'm sure he's just too busy working on his best man's speech. He must have so many stories he wants to include… I'm sure he just lost the track of time…"</p><p>Kurt nodded and slipped away as quietly as he had arrived. It seemed this was a complicated topic and he didn't want to upset Cooper, but he was worried. If his brother didn't show up, they would need to find an emergency best man. Kurt scanned the room, focusing on each of Cooper's friends, trying to find a possible candidate, and writing down a few notes about them just in case.</p><p>He took a deep breath and hoped the actual wedding day would go a lot better.</p><hr/><p>Kurt was a perpetually busy man, but on wedding days, he was frenetic.</p><p>Despite having very trustworthy employees that were perfectly capable of taking over in some areas, Kurt was a perfectionist and liked to do as much as he could himself. He had created this company from scratch, worked his ass off to get it to succeed, and he didn't like taking a step aside and letting others be in charge.</p><p>The Anderson wedding was no exception, especially since Cooper was an extremely demanding client. Kurt couldn't help but feel bad for his future wife, but every time he looked at Michelle, he saw how in love she really was, so he guessed she would deal with it just fine. He didn't know Cooper outside of the whole wedding madness – maybe he wasn't such a lunatic under normal circumstances.</p><p>The wedding was still a couple of hours away, but Kurt was already at the venue. He was outside making sure that the last delivery of flowers was handled carefully as it was carried into the building. He checked his list to make sure everything was in order before he walked towards the entrance himself, only to stop when he found the door blocked by a man.</p><p>His back was to Kurt, but he was wearing a perfectly tailored black suit. Kurt couldn't help but sweep his eyes over the shape of his shoulders, broad and strong, and the way his body narrowed towards the waist. His pants highlighted the curve of his ass and his firm thighs, and Kurt tried to stop himself from drooling all over this stranger. He cleared his throat loudly, making him turn around.</p><p>He was suddenly met by a wonderful pair of hazel eyes that fixed on him intensely, leaving him speechless for a few seconds.</p><p>"Hi!" He finally managed to say. "If you're here for the wedding, you're a little early. Are you on the bride's or the groom's side?"</p><p>The stranger parted his lips – pink, plump, tantalizing lips – and ran a hand subconsciously through his dark curls, looking away for a moment before he actually answered. "I'm the best man."</p><p>Kurt's eyes widened in surprise for a moment. So this was the elusive younger Anderson. "Oh! Cooper's brother! It's so nice to meet you at last!" He extended his hand towards him.</p><p>The man accepted it. His hands were strong and warm, a little on the callused side, and they sent shivers down Kurt's spine. "You are…"</p><p>"I'm Kurt. Kurt Hummel, the wedding planner," Kurt replied, reluctantly pulling his hand away once the handshake continued for an awkwardly long moment. "Your name's Blaine, right?"</p><p>"Yes, that's me," Blaine nodded.</p><p>"Well, let me tell you very quickly how this is going to go down, okay?" Kurt said, glad to have the opportunity to do a final run down with him before the actual wedding. "Let me show you the venue so you know your way around…"</p><p>Blaine hesitated for an instant before he followed him inside. Kurt showed him around, telling him who he was going to be paired with and where he was supposed to stand. Blaine remained oddly quiet through it all, and Kurt wasn't sure if he was even listening. He didn't look particularly invested in this whole thing, to be honest.</p><p>One of Kurt's assistants came looking for him a few minutes later with a new emergency about the music for the ceremony. Kurt sighed in frustration and rubbed at his temples for a second before he looked back at Blaine, excused himself and left him there so he could see what this was all about.</p><p>He would have sworn Blaine's eyes were burning the back of his suit as he walked away, but didn't risk looking back at him.</p><hr/><p>Kurt didn't stay to see all of the wedding ceremony, choosing to leave one of his assistants there instead to make sure everything went smoothly, as he went to the reception venue to go through a final check and get everything ready for the guests that would be arriving soon.</p><p>He was relieved to see things were going perfectly. The crew they were working with tonight was a beautifully well-oiled machine that functioned precisely and effortlessly. The catering company was already done with the appetizers and starting on the main courses, the cake was safe in the huge walk-in fridge, and the champagne that was supposed to flow freely all night was already cooling down and ready.</p><p>The band had just finished setting up when the first guests began to arrive. Kurt helped some of them find their seats at the round tables distributed around the dance floor. There was a large, rectangular table opposite the stage reserved for the wedding party, and Kurt helped Michelle's grandfather to his place, since the man could barely stand on his own feet. The old man smiled brightly at him when Kurt spoke effortlessly in French, and chatted back for a few moments, before Kurt had to leave him to help someone else.</p><p>Most people were already situated when he saw Blaine standing awkwardly near the entrance. Kurt smiled and approached him, ready to help.</p><p>"Hi, do you need help finding your seat? You're at the long table in the back, first seat on the right, next to your parents," he informed him politely.</p><p>Blaine simply nodded, but he looked like he didn't want to go inside. He let his eyes wander over the room, hesitantly, before setting them back on Kurt. "Thank you. I'm just… not entirely sure I'll stay much longer."</p><p>Kurt frowned, taken aback. Blaine wasn't staying at his own brother's wedding? He was the <em>best man</em>. "Are you sure? Cooper said…"</p><p>"Cooper says a lot of things," Blaine interrupted rather brusquely, before looking at Kurt sheepishly when he saw the shock on his face. "I'm sorry. Thanks for your help. I can find my seat on my own."</p><p>Kurt nodded, acknowledging the dismissal for what it was. He didn't have time to dwell on his confusion and curiosity, though, and immediately turned to the next person in need of help.</p><p>After that, he went back to the kitchen since the chef had a few questions for him. By the time he exited back to the main room, Cooper and Michelle were making their entrance.</p><p>Food and drinks were served abundantly, and for a while Kurt had nothing to worry about. He stood on the edge of the room, watching and waiting to be needed again, eyes like a hawk's as he searched for any kind of trouble that could arise. He noticed Blaine had taken his seat, but wasn't involved in any kind of conversation. For someone so gorgeous, he was incredibly stoic.</p><p>Soon it was time for the toasts, and Kurt saw Mr. Anderson practically pushing Blaine to his feet as Cooper lifted his gaze at him in expectant excitement. He looked like a kid about to receive the best Christmas present ever.</p><p>Blaine grabbed his glass and looked around the room for a moment before setting his eyes back down on his hands. "Hello. I'm Blaine, Cooper's brother," he introduced himself quietly. "I would like to take this opportunity to welcome Michelle to the family, and congratulate the happy couple on their marriage."</p><p>Kurt's eyebrows shot up to his hairline when Blaine simply sat back down. That was <em>it</em>? Everyone seemed as surprised and confused as he was, but the look of utter disappointment and hurt on Cooper's face couldn't be compared. There was a story there, something had happened to those two brothers to make Blaine so reluctant to participate in Cooper's wedding.</p><p>He saw Mrs. Anderson lean in towards her younger son and scold him discretely, but Blaine didn't seem to care. He downed the rest of his wine and gestured the waiter to pour more for him.</p><p>The perfectionist in Kurt wanted to approach the man and ask if there was anything he could do to make this night better for everyone, but it was none of his business.</p><p>Kurt urgently signalled the band to start playing, and the bride and groom's first dance put a smile back on Cooper's face. After twirling his new wife around for a few songs, Cooper excused himself and jumped onto the stage, taking over the microphone.</p><p>"Hi! Thank you everyone for coming. I hope you're enjoying yourselves!" Cooper said, beaming. "I would like to sing a song for Michelle, my wife. Like all of you know, I'm currently playing the leading role in the revival of South Pacific. That's why I want to sing a song I get to perform on the show, called <em>Some Enchanted Evening</em>…"</p><p>Kurt was familiar with the song – it was one of the most romantic Broadway tunes of all time – and he practically swooned when Cooper began to sing. However, something caught his eye.</p><p>In a little corner of the room, by himself, Blaine Anderson was looking at the stage bitterly, a glass of wine gripped tightly in his hand, and clearly staying away from the cheerful crowd that celebrated his brother and sister in law's love.</p><p>Kurt didn't know what exactly pushed him to go towards him. There was something in Blaine's face that made him move, and before he knew it, Kurt was standing by his side, trying to find something in his hazel eyes, even though he had no idea what he was searching for.</p><p>Blaine didn't seem to notice he was there until Kurt placed his hand on his arm carefully, trying not to startle him. Blaine turned to him, his eyes dark and dull, and Kurt felt an aching tug deep down inside of him.</p><p>"Hey," he murmured quietly. "I'm sorry to bother you, I just… are you okay?"</p><p>Blaine seemed surprised by the question, but he hid it quickly. "Yes, I'm fine."</p><p>Even though he knew he shouldn't push, Kurt still asked, "Are you sure? Can I get you anything?"</p><p>The corner of Blaine's mouth curled up in an incredulous, confused smirk. "I'm sure you're busy enough catering to my brother's every whim."</p><p>Kurt hummed, buying himself some time. "I guess he's a little difficult to deal with, huh?"</p><p>Blaine snorted. "Understatement of the century. But yes. I'm sure you've experienced that yourself, working with him…"</p><p>"It's certainly been… interesting," Kurt said, choosing his words carefully. "I wasn't sure if it was just the wedding hype or…"</p><p>"Oh, no. He's always like this. Self-absorbed asshole…" Blaine muttered under his breath. "I kinda feel bad for his wife. I hope she knows what she's doing."</p><p>Kurt was a little shocked at Blaine's blunt remark. "Uhm. So you two don't really get along?"</p><p>"He likes to think everything's just wonderful, but he has a tendency to live in his own little head," Blaine shrugged and sipped at his drink. "Some of us can't afford that luxury."</p><p>When Blaine looked straight at him, Kurt couldn't help but gasp at the fire he found in the other man's eyes. He hadn't seen someone so dangerously attractive in his life. It was like Blaine melted all his senses, leaving him bare and vulnerable.</p><p>Blaine licked his lips and shifted to lean on the wall so he was facing Kurt. "So, Kurt…" Oh god, the way he said his name made his knees turn to jelly… "What do you do when you're not making other people's dreams come true?"</p><p>Kurt chuckled, feeling a nervous shiver run down his spine. God, he was almost breaking out in a sweat. He hadn't met a man who affected him like this in a very long time. "Oh, well. I work a lot, to be honest. I'm not a very exciting man."</p><p>Blaine turned a little more, almost trapping Kurt against the wall. "I find that hard to believe. You look very exciting to me, Kurt Hummel."</p><p>Not knowing what he was doing, Kurt's hands held onto Blaine's forearms. He let out a shaky breath. "Oh, I…"</p><p>Blaine's eyes moved down to his lips and back up to his own eyes again. There was something hungry and slightly desperate in that look. "Would you like to dance with me?"</p><p>Kurt knew he was gaping like a fish and that was probably the least attractive thing in the whole world, but he was completely short-circuiting thanks to Blaine's proximity. He looked around. Cooper had finished his song and everyone seemed to be having a great time, not paying them any attention. Kurt was always very strict about staying professional, but something about Blaine made him want to break all the rules he had created for himself.</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>Every rhythm seemed to be the perfect excuse to stay very close to each other. Fast songs had them gyrating their hips with their arms around each other and sweat dripping down the collar of their shirts. Slow songs had them dancing cheek to cheek, feeling each other's warmth and the rise and fall of each other's chests as they breathed. Either way, it was such an erotic experience that Kurt felt dizzy by the time he forced himself to pull away and get back to work.</p><p>Dancing with Blaine was a more intimate experience that some of the sex he had had in his life.</p><p>Kurt walked into the restroom and allowed himself a moment to pull himself together before he went to the kitchen to check everything was still in order. Luckily, no one had noticed his misstep. He didn't want his employees gossiping behind his back.</p><p>Blaine was nowhere to be found by the time Cooper and Michelle cut the cake. Kurt ignored the little pang of disappointment he felt when he noticed his absence, but then focused back on his work. The reception would be over in another hour or two, probably, but he had to stay and supervise that everything was taken care of and the venue was left spotless. He would probably get home right as the sun came out.</p><p>"Hey, Kurt!"</p><p>Kurt turned around and found Cooper coming towards him. Most of the guests were already gathering near the exit to see the happy couple out.</p><p>"Cooper, what's up?" He asked with a gentle smile.</p><p>"I just wanted to thank you," Cooper replied, squeezing his shoulder. "You've been amazing, and you made our day so special. I'm glad we asked you to plan our wedding. I can't imagine a better day…"</p><p>"I'm glad you two had a nice time. I wish you all the best," Kurt said, and then squeaked in surprise when Cooper pulled him into a tight hug. "Have fun on the honeymoon."</p><p>"Thanks," Cooper grinned at him and then stepped away. "I'll call you when we get back. Maybe we can get together for a drink or something?"</p><p>Kurt had no idea why Cooper was so convinced they could be good friends, but he simply nodded and watched him go. He heard the cheers of their family and friends as he and his wife made their way outside to the carriage that would take them to the hotel where they would spend their first night as a married couple.</p><p>Once the guests started filing out of the venue and the night was officially over, Kurt sighed in relief. He was already dreaming of his comfortable, soft bed and a late start the next morning. The crew began to pick up dirty dishes and take down decorations and Kurt was about to go into the kitchen to check on something with the chef when he heard footsteps and a voice calling his name.</p><p>He wasn't expecting to find Blaine there.</p><p>"Hey," Kurt said, eyes a little wide. "I thought you'd left."</p><p>"Nah, I was just outside getting some fresh air," Blaine shrugged. He stopped when he reached Kurt, standing very closely to him. "I was actually wondering… would you like to go out for a drink? Or maybe just hang out with me for a while?"</p><p>The way Blaine was looking at him told Kurt that the offer involved more than a drink or simply hanging out. The offer hinted at naked bodies, damp sheets, and long moans that would echo against the walls. He felt a little breathless just thinking about it.</p><p>He was going to decline. There was no way he would do this. Kurt rarely had one night stands – he preferred to at least go on a date or two with someone instead of picking up random strangers and taking them home. Plus he never slept with people he worked with. And though Blaine was his client's brother, the rule still applied to him.</p><p>But then Santana's voice seemed to fill his head. She had told him he only had a few months to do whatever he wanted, to go a little crazy, to let go and focus on himself. In five months, one night stands would actually sound tempting, but he would have absolutely no time for guys and sex. His life would be devoted his baby.</p><p>And that's how Kurt ended up doing something he had never done before.</p><p>"Hey, Lori," he called over his shoulder, and one of his assistants turned to him. "Can you take over for the night? I'm heading home early."</p><p>Lori seemed surprised, aware that her boss liked to stay around to make sure everything was spotless once the party was over. "Sure!" She said either way.</p><p>When he looked back at Blaine, the attraction he felt for this man seemed to be burning his insides. Even though it was completely out of character for him, Kurt said, "My place isn't too far from here."</p><p>Blaine's golden eyes fixed on Kurt's lips for just one lingering moment. "Lead the way."</p><hr/><p>The walk to Kurt's apartment was relatively silent and filled with furtive glances. Every time Kurt looked at Blaine, he found him looking back. Their hands brushed against each other's a couple of times as they walked and Kurt could feel the electricity that sent a shock all over his body at the touch. And when Blaine placed a hand on his lower back for a moment when they were crossing the street, he almost moaned. That was how badly Blaine had gotten under his skin.</p><p>But as soon as the front door was closed behind them, they launched at each other as if they were starving and nothing could satiate that hunger better than the other's lips. Kurt wasn't sure who kissed whom first, but suddenly he was trapped against the door, with Blaine crowding him and devouring his mouth in a perfect, passionate kiss.</p><p>Blaine's body was heavenly solid against his, all taut muscles beneath the suit. Kurt's hands splayed on Blaine's shoulders, pressing him urgently against himself as he kissed him. Blaine's tongue slipped into his mouth, licking into it as he grunted in pleasure, as if Kurt was everything he had hoped he would be and more.</p><p>Kurt's head thumped against the door, and it would have been painful if he wasn't so lost in his own arousal. "I…" he tried to think clearly, but it was <em>so damn hard</em> when Blaine was kissing down the column of his neck. "I… I don't usually do this, I…"</p><p>Blaine hummed and scraped his teeth over Kurt's pulse point. "Do you say that to all the boys? Or am I really as lucky as I feel right now?"</p><p>Kurt whimpered and melted. <em>He fucking melted.</em> "I'm being a hundred percent honest."</p><p>Blaine pulled away, almost making Kurt regret his decision to speak. He wanted that mouth back on him now. "Do you want me to stop? We can just have a drink… chat a little…"</p><p>Kurt licked his lips as he focused on the eagerness reflected on Blaine's gorgeous eyes. Kurt felt wild and reckless – he didn't care about consequences. Not tonight. Tonight, Kurt Hummel was going to have a good time and <em>live</em>.</p><p>"No," Kurt murmured in a low voice that made Blaine's eyes darken. "I want you to fuck me."</p><p>He could feel the guttural growl vibrating in Blaine's chest. Blaine stepped even closer, desperately grinding his hard cock into Kurt's thigh, lips going back to Kurt's neck. "Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes, yes, just…" Kurt threw his head back again and his fingers found their way to Blaine's head, tugging at his hair. "Fuck me. Come on."</p><p>Suddenly, Kurt felt as if the whole night had just been very extended foreplay. Every time they had glanced at each other across the room, the way they had danced together, their very brief conversation… everything had been charged with the kind of tension that could only cause the best of explosions.</p><p>Desperate to feel the warmth of Blaine's skin, Kurt unbuttoned Blaine's jacket and sneaked his hands inside to slide it off his shoulders. He groaned in appreciation as he traced the contours of Blaine's muscles down his arms and his back. Shit, it was like touching the statue of a Greek god.</p><p>He kissed down his jaw, but before he could focus on sucking on his neck to leave a nice mark there, his lips graced over something less smooth than the rest of Blaine's skin, so he stopped to take a look. There was a scar running down Blaine's jaw towards his neck, where the tan skin turned white. He looked up to Blaine's eyes, wanting to ask about it, but was immediately distracted with a scorching kiss that made him forget about everything, even his own name.</p><p>Blaine's mouth shifted until it was brushing the shell of his ear. "Bed?" He breathed against it, and immediately tugged his earlobe between his teeth, eliciting a loud moan from Kurt.</p><p>At this point, Kurt didn't care if they did it on the couch, the floor or against the wall, but since he couldn't focus enough to say that, he simply nodded. He grabbed Blaine's shirt in his fists and pull him towards his bedroom without a second's hesitation.</p><p>"I wouldn't have pegged you for the messy kind," Blaine said with a smirk, and Kurt's cheeks reddened in embarrassment when he saw how untidy his bedroom was. He had left in a hurry that morning, and hadn't had time to make the bed or pick up his pajamas from the floor.</p><p>"Oh god, I'm sorry," Kurt said, mortified. "Let me just…" He tugged at the blankets to straighten them out, but Blaine stopped him, wrapping his strong arms around his waist and pulling him towards his body.</p><p>"What's the point? We're going to mess them up again very, very soon," he whispered seductively.</p><p>
  <em>Jesus fucking Christ, who is this man?</em>
</p><p>Kurt was glad that the bed was supporting him on the front and Blaine on the back, because his knees buckled and he would have ended sprawled on the floor like a starfish. And there was nothing attractive about a starfish.</p><p>Any other time Kurt had dared to have a one night stand, it had been slightly awkward, with lots of fumbling and hesitation. But with Blaine… there was something so different about him. He made Kurt forget everything and just give into the passion that consumed every cell of his being. It was wonderful. He never wanted to stop feeling as free as he felt when Blaine had his arms around his waist and his lips on Kurt's neck.</p><p>Turning in Blaine's arms to face him, Kurt began to unbutton his shirt. Every little bit of skin he revealed made his whole body shiver with desire. Blaine was perfect. His body was so beautiful that Kurt just wanted to put whipped cream on him and lick it…</p><p>
  <em>Get a grip of yourself, Hummel.</em>
</p><p>Once he had removed his shirt and let it fall to the floor, he couldn't stop himself from staring. He knew it was creepy after the first ten seconds of gaping, but Kurt needed a moment to actually take Blaine in. This perfect man was real and standing in his bedroom.</p><p>Blaine's lips curled into a little smile. "I think it's your turn now…"</p><p>Kurt was usually incredibly confident when it came to his body. He wasn't a goddamn Greek statue like Blaine was, but he was in good shape and he had never had any complaints from the other men he had dated or slept with. But now he felt like a bumbling teenager who was allowing another boy to see his body for the very first time. All the insecurities from those times seemed to rush back and hit Kurt like a freight train. He took a deep breath and let Blaine take care of his jacket and shirt, closing his eyes when he felt the feather light touch of his fingertips on his skin.</p><p>He left his eyes closed as Blaine took him in, shivering nervously, fingers twitching to reach for a blanket or something to cover himself with again. But then he felt Blaine's lips on his collarbone and his hands settling on his hips, as he breathed reverently: "<em>God</em>, you're stunning…"</p><p>Kurt's whole body relaxed at those words. It didn't sound like he was paying him an empty compliment – Blaine was honest, and Kurt wasn't sure how he knew that, but he was a hundred percent certain.</p><p>And just like that all the insecurities were gone and the deep, wild arousal returned.</p><p>He pushed Blaine down onto the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling him and claiming his mouth in a bruising kiss. Blaine let out a little surprised groan, but settled his hands on his back to pull him towards his body so they were closer still.</p><p>They desperately began tugging at each other's remaining clothes, trying to get completely naked as soon as possible, while they kissed, open-mouthed and dirty. Kurt rocked against Blaine's leg, needing at least a little bit of friction to calm the raging arousal flowing through him. Blaine pulled his pants and underwear down over the curve of his ass, grabbing a handful of it and making Kurt groan.</p><p>While Blaine kicked his pants off, Kurt reached for the condoms and lube in his bedside table. When he looked back, Blaine was kneeling on the bed, hard cock curving up towards his stomach, long, thick and completely tantalizing.</p><p>Kurt was pretty sure he was about to drop dead right there.</p><p>He was so desperate to feel Blaine inside of him that he uncapped the lube, ready to prepare himself, but Blaine stopped him.</p><p>"Can I do the honors?" He asked rather cheekily.</p><p>Kurt kissed him, pushing his tongue inside Blaine's mouth to show him exactly what he wanted. "<em>Yes</em>."</p><p>That's how Kurt found himself on his knees, hands gripping the headboard tightly, while Blaine's slick fingers pumped in and out of him, ripping moans from deep within him. Blaine was kissing down his spine, at first to dull the initial ache of the first intrusion, but now it was just because he seemed unable to stop kissing every inch of Kurt he had near him.</p><p>When Blaine's fingers arched in the perfect angle and brushed his prostate, Kurt thrashed in pleasure, moaning so loud he was sure his next door neighbor could hear him.</p><p>"Oh god, please. Please, please now, Blaine," he begged clenching around Blaine's fingers greedily.</p><p>Blaine didn't make him wait. He pulled his fingers away, rolled the condom on his cock, and coated it with lube thoroughly. He used one hand to line himself up with Kurt's entrance and the other to grab at where Kurt's own hand was still gripping the headboard. His strong, god-like body was covering Kurt's almost perfectly, and Kurt whimpered, needing more, already lost in a spiral of pleasure and absolute lust.</p><p>As soon as he pushed inside, Blaine stopped as if to give Kurt time, but Kurt whined and pushed back against him, trying to get him all the way in.</p><p>"Don't stop, come on," Kurt muttered. He usually liked it when men took their time when he was bottoming, but he couldn't have Blaine fast enough tonight.</p><p>Blaine groaned as he complied, only stopping again once he had bottomed out. He thrust experimentally for a few seconds, but once he noticed just how badly Kurt wanted it, he went faster, harder, trying to aim for Kurt's prostate every time, and ending with a moaning, thrashing Kurt in return.</p><p>The bed began to bang against the wall the faster they went, and the sound of the headboard hitting the plaster combined with the sound of skin on skin only helped push Kurt towards an early edge. This was the mind-blowing kind of sex that he hadn't had in a very long time – Blaine was an absolute stranger but he still seemed to know exactly where to touch, where to push, where to kiss to drive him completely insane. With Blaine's cock buried deep inside of him and his teeth biting on the back of his shoulder and he thrust into him non-stop, Kurt felt the kind of bliss that he only ever experienced <em>after</em> the orgasm.</p><p>Kurt tried to meet each and every one of Blaine's thrusts. Their hands were linked on the headboard and Kurt's back arched towards Blaine's chest every time he hit his prostate just right. He could feel the pre-come leaking from his cock onto the sheets, and he was so close, that he could barely breathe. He panted as he tried to reach for his release, wanting to feel the relief of his orgasm washing over him as much as he wanted to keep going forever.</p><p>Kurt clenched around Blaine's cock, whining desperately. "Touch me. Come on. I'm so damn close…"</p><p>"Shit, you're so hot… I don't think I can…" Blaine's next words got lost in a long, guttural moan as he thrust even harder into Kurt. He moved one of his hands down Kurt's body, grazing one of his nipples and making him shudder in pleasure, before finally reaching for his cock and jerking him off quickly, like he wasn't sure he would last enough. "Let me feel you come."</p><p>Kurt moaned, his back arching one more time as Blaine's thumb circled the head of his cock, knocking down the last one of his walls and throwing him into the waves of his orgasm. He came long and hard over Blaine's fist and the sheets, his hole squeezing Blaine's cock with the shocks of it. Blaine muffled his own scream of pleasure by biting onto Kurt's shoulder once more, and then he stilled as his cock throbbed and jerked still deep inside of Kurt, coming into the condom.</p><p>Kurt's knees gave out and he practically face-planted onto the mattress, with Blaine still on top of him, buried inside of him. He groaned in appreciation at the magnificent, comforting weight, as he panted onto the pillow, trying to get his heart back to normal. He felt light and heavy at the same time. He just wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep, clinging to the vestiges of his fantastic orgasm.</p><p>Blaine finally rolled onto his side, allowing Kurt to take a deep breath. "Shit, that was fantastic…" he said in a hoarse voice.</p><p>"Outstanding," Kurt murmured sleepily.</p><p>Blaine chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, pushing his sweaty curls out of his forehead. He took the condom off and wrapped it in a paper tissue when he couldn't find the trash can. "Let me regain control of my legs and I'll be out of your hair…"</p><p>"Mm, it's okay…" Kurt said, snuggling deeper into the bed. "Just stay. It's late."</p><p>Blaine frowned at him. "Are you sure? I can go. I don't mind."</p><p>"If you want to go, go. But I don't mind you staying," Kurt replied, trying his best to shrug, but too tired to actually accomplish it.</p><p>If he had been a bit more conscious, he would have seen the look of surprise on Blaine's face, the slight hesitation in his eyes and the little curl in his lips when he decided that staying wasn't such a bad idea, after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waking up next to a stranger certainly wasn't something Kurt was used to. As soon as he realized the solid warmth pressed against his side was actually a body, he opened his eyes and held his breath, as if scared he would wake Blaine if he breathed too loudly.</p><p>But when he saw how peaceful and beautiful Blaine was while asleep – not to mention unfairly sexy, because how was that even okay so early in the morning? – he relaxed. Even though he knew practically next to nothing about the man sleeping beside him, Kurt knew Blaine was a decent guy. If he had wanted to hurt him, rob him, or do any other horrible things, he would have done them already, instead of burrowing adorably into the pillow while scrunching his face against the sunlight filtering in from the window, and no, Kurt's heart wasn't bungee jumping in his chest at the sight, thank you very much.</p><p>Kurt shifted onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He could do this. He could have a one-night stand without freaking out the next morning. He could act like a normal adult gay man, instead of shrieking like a little boy and hiding in the bathroom until the stranger left. He was Kurt Hummel, for god's sake, and he was going to be his natural, classy, fabulous self.</p><p>And he was not going to think about how amazing it felt to have Blaine's hairy leg pressed between his own. Oh, no… he wasn't thinking about that at all…</p><p>He slowly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Blaine, and reached for the pajamas he had left discarded on the floor the previous morning, quickly stepping into them, feeling self-conscious about wandering around his bedroom naked. He gazed at Blaine's delectable body, barely covered by a sheet and sighed appreciatively.</p><p>Yup, he was still the definition of perfect.</p><p>After a nice shower, Kurt felt refreshed and a lot more prepared to face the day. He drank a cup of coffee, standing with his hip pressed against the counter and trying his best not to relive the events of the previous night in his head. Then he decided he needed to keep himself busy before he started thinking about going back to bed and waking Blaine up in a way that was probably not appropriate despite what had transpired between them, so he looked in the fridge and the pantry, wondering what to make for breakfast.</p><p>He was slicing some fruit and waiting for his toast to pop back out from the toaster when he heard noises that indicated that Blaine was waking up. Soon, he heard the bathroom door close. Not sure what to do, Kurt grabbed a second cup and sat it next to his on the counter, thinking there was no reason why he couldn't offer Blaine some breakfast.</p><p>When Blaine walked into the kitchen five minutes later, he was dressed in the suit from the night before, but he was carrying the jacket on his arm and the sleeves of his pristine white shirt were rolled up to his elbows. He looked casual, and still so damn sensual that Kurt just stared at him for a few seconds, before clearing his throat and offering him a little smile.</p><p>"Good morning," he said.</p><p>"Morning," Blaine replied. He ran a hand through his curls, only messing them up more.</p><p>"Would you like some coffee? Breakfast?" Kurt offered politely.</p><p>Blaine glanced at the clock and shook his head. "I'd love to, but I'm kinda running late. Thank you, though."</p><p>Kurt smiled again. "No problem."</p><p>Blaine licked his lips and took a couple of steps towards Kurt. "And thank you for last night. It was…" he chuckled seductively, sending shivers down Kurt's spine. "Well, pretty fantastic."</p><p>Kurt hummed his agreement. "It was indeed."</p><p>Blaine leaned in slowly, pausing for a moment to give Kurt the chance to pull away, but when he didn't, he simply moved in and pressed a long but quite chaste kiss to his lips. Kurt found his own hands moving to Blaine's forearms before he even knew what he was doing, and felt his fingers dig into the hard muscle there.</p><p>Blaine pulled away but kept staring at Kurt's lips. Kurt was having trouble breathing just seeing how entranced Blaine seemed.</p><p>"One for the road?" Blaine muttered, and Kurt barely had time to nod before their lips were meeting again, this time with a bit more purpose, a bit more urgently.</p><p>Kurt was seriously considering dragging Blaine back into his bedroom when Blaine's phone beeped in his pocket, and he cursed under his breath.</p><p>"Damn. I have to go," he said regretfully. He gave Kurt a quick peck and took a step away from him, as if he needed to physically put some distance between them in order to think clearly.</p><p>"Okay," Kurt murmured, wishing he could just stop staring at Blaine's plump lips.</p><p>Blaine stole a piece of toast from the plate and winked at him. "One for the road," he repeated. The charming bastard.</p><p>And then he was slipping out the door and out of Kurt's life, after a few disarming kisses and one mind-blowing orgasm.</p><p>Kurt hated admitting that Santana was right, but yeah… Blaine had been exactly what he needed.</p><hr/><p>Rachel pushed the stroller into the living room and looked around with a calculating gaze.</p><p>"Wow. This place is a little dark," she commented, frowning.</p><p>Kurt had to agree. They hadn't visited that many apartments yet, but it was discouraging how difficult it was to find a good place to live for a reasonable price in New York City. He was glad he could afford a new place, but he didn't just want to move to a bigger apartment – he wanted the <em>perfect</em> apartment, where he could see himself and his baby starting their lives together.</p><p>"And it's a little out of the way, isn't it?" He murmured thoughtfully, moving towards the window to see the view. "It's not close to my office, it's not close to a subway station, and it's not close to a park. I wanted to have a park nearby so I can take the baby on the weekends…"</p><p>"Do you want me to ask around in my building? I think there's one apartment available," Rachel asked, peeking into the kitchen curiously.</p><p>"No, not really," Kurt replied, smirking at her. "No offense, Rach, but if I move into your building, you'll be in my apartment all day long."</p><p>"But I can help you with the baby! And we could have tea parties!" She pouted.</p><p>Sometimes Kurt had a hard time believing Rachel Berry was a thirty year old woman.</p><p>The real estate agent, Wendy, who had left them to look around while she took a call out in the hallway, walked into the apartment, a professional smile on her face.</p><p>"So, what do we think of this one, Mr. Hummel?"</p><p>Kurt hadn't even looked at the bedroom, but he knew he didn't need to. "This definitely isn't it. It's dark, the balcony is claustrophobic and the location isn't the one I had in mind."</p><p>The woman tried to hide her disappointment. "I have another three bedroom apartment around the corner from Battery Park. We could head there, if you want?"</p><p>Kurt nodded. "Yes, I'd like to see that one."</p><p>He received a text from Santana while they were on their way to see the next apartment, asking where they were so she could catch up with them. Kurt asked Wendy for the address, and Santana promised to meet them at the building in Rector Street.</p><p>She was waiting by the entrance with Dani by the time they arrived, and as Rachel did the introductions, Santana narrowed her eyes at Kurt suspiciously. He flashed her a confused glance, but was immediately distracted by the real estate agent, who was guiding them to the twentieth floor to see the apartment.</p><p>Kurt was in love as soon as they stepped through the front door. It was open, spacious and luminous, with a fantastic view of the harbor and the park. The dark wooden floors were gorgeous and the white walls opened a world of possibilities for decoration. Kurt hadn't even taken three steps into the living room before he was planning where to place the furniture.</p><p>"This apartment has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a very nice balcony overlooking the park, and a terrace that all the tenants have access to," Wendy explained. "Both cats and dogs are allowed and there's an extensive laundry room in the basement."</p><p>Kurt walked into the kitchen as he listened. The beautiful stainless steel appliances and granite countertops immediately caught his eye. "That sounds good. Maybe I would like to get a dog in a few years, when the baby is old enough…" The idea sounded amazing, actually. He hadn't had any pets when he was a kid, and he remembered being very disappointed about it. But maybe he could get a dog for his own kid.</p><p>The future sounded so wonderful that he couldn't wait for it to start.</p><p>The three bedrooms were great as well. The master bedroom was stunning, in soft cream tones that Kurt thought would look amazing with a matte green. The two smaller bedrooms were also really nice, the smallest of which would be good for an office, and the other one was perfect for the baby's nursery.</p><p>He stood in that bedroom the longest, simply looking around and trying to picture what it would look like with the walls painted, with the right furniture and a few animal plushies here and there.</p><p>Wendy must have known what he was thinking just from the expression on his face, because she smiled brightly at him. "I'll give you a moment to look around on your own. I'll be in the living room if you need anything."</p><p>She left, and Rachel turned to Kurt.</p><p>"This is a really nice place. What do you think?" She asked as she picked up Lilah from the stroller, who had just woken up.</p><p>"It's perfect. It feels like I could really make a home in this place," Kurt answered. He walked to the room that would be his office, trying to see the layout of the room in his mind. "This place would be perfect for a desk, and I could have a set of shelves here…"</p><p>"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Kurt has a hickey the size of Manhattan or…?" Santana finally said from the doorway, and Kurt should have known she had been too quiet until then.</p><p>He sighed. "I'm sorry, I seem to recall you took me out for drinks and told me I needed to get laid."</p><p>Santana's eyes widened a bit at that. "And you decided to listen? I'm impressed, Hummel."</p><p>Rachel was watching him with narrowed eyes. "When did this happen and why didn't you tell me anything about it?"</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed, impatiently. "It was this weekend and I didn't tell you because it was none of your business."</p><p>"Well, where did you meet him?" Dani asked, as she wrapped her arms around Santana's waist from behind and hooked her chin on her wife's shoulder.</p><p>"At a wedding," Kurt replied vaguely. He gestured towards one of the walls. "Wouldn't this be a wonderful place for a big white board? I've always wanted one where I could brainstorm and make lists of the things I…"</p><p>"Yes, yes, yes. No one cares about that," Santana cut him off, earning a glare from Kurt. "You hooked up with someone from one of your weddings? I didn't know you had it in you."</p><p>"Look, he was really attractive and we just… clicked, okay?" Kurt huffed, annoyed. "I never do anything crazy. Maybe I wanted to see if the world would end if I hooked up with someone I met through work. It didn't. End of story. Do you guys think I could paint this wall red? It would be such a great contrast…"</p><p>"Stop trying to change the subject!" Rachel squealed, too excited for Kurt's liking. "Tell us about him. What was he like? What was his name? Was he hot? Did he rock your world? How big was his…?"</p><p>"Rachel, for the love of god, you have your baby in your arms," Kurt interrupted before she could even finish that question. "You're spending too much time with Santana. Don't be vulgar."</p><p>Rachel had the decency to blush, glancing at her daughter apologetically.</p><p>"That doesn't mean you don't have to answer," Santana insisted, smirking at him.</p><p>Kurt groaned in frustration. "His name is Blaine. He was the best man. His body was to die for and he made my legs turn to jelly. Is that enough information? Can we focus back on the task at hand, please?"</p><p>Santana let out a whistle. "Hummel, you're blushing like a virgin. He must have been a very, very good fuck…"</p><p>Kurt decided to ignore her. "I want to see the kitchen again."</p><hr/><p>Santana gestured for the waiter. "Get us a bottle of champagne, please. We're celebrating."</p><p>Kurt grinned from ear to ear. After seeing that last apartment, he had realized he didn't need to look for his new home anymore. It was perfect. It was everything he had ever wanted, and he could already picture his little family there. He had so many ideas for the baby's room, and he couldn't wait to get the keys and start working on it.</p><p>"A glass of lemonade for me, please," Rachel said before the waiter had the chance to leave. "I'm a responsible mother and I am not drinking while I'm with my little girl."</p><p>"You were talking about penis sizes in front of your darling daughter two hours ago, Berry. Don't act like you're the Mother of the Year or something," Santana scoffed. "Poor Lilah is in for a life of constant humiliation and I feel bad for her."</p><p>"Can you two please stop for ten minutes?" Dani said, rubbing at her temples tiredly. "We're here to celebrate that Kurt's found an apartment. Stop bitching and let's focus on him."</p><p>Rachel immediately clapped in excitement. Her attention span was worse than her daughter's. "You have a few weeks before you get the key. We need to start planning the moving! And what are you going to do with the nursery?"</p><p>"God, I don't know," Kurt bit his lip, equally excited. "I have so many ideas, I don't know where to start!"</p><p>"We could stop somewhere later and get you some home decoration magazines," Dani suggested, just as the waiter returned and began pouring champagne in their glasses. "I know you have wonderful taste, but it's always helpful to get tips. I think I still have a stack at home from when I redecorated our kitchen…"</p><p>"She's addicted to those magazines," Santana said, reaching for her glass. "I swear, she hides them under the bed like it's porn…"</p><p>Dani smacked her wife's arm, glaring at her playfully. "Do you really want to talk about hidden stashes of porn? Because I can <em>so</em> go there…"</p><p>Kurt decided, once again, to ignore their antics. "That sounds like a good idea. I think I know what I want to do with my bedroom and the living room, but the baby's room… I have no idea what kind of things I could possibly need! And what if I buy all the wrong stuffed animals? What if I buy… I don't know… bunnies, and then the baby hates bunnies?"</p><p>"Who could hate bunnies?" Rachel asked in confusion, taking a sip from her lemonade.</p><p>"I don't know, Rachel, I'm just saying. I need to research this…" Kurt leaned back on his seat, his eyes widening slightly. "Oh my god, I have less than five months to learn how to be a dad…"</p><p>"Here comes the panic attack again…" Santana muttered, visibly bored.</p><p>"You'll be fine," Dani reassured him, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze. "You're the most determined, loving guy I know. That is going to be one happy, healthy baby. I know that."</p><p>Kurt smiled at her warmly. "Thank you."</p><p>"No problem," she smiled back.</p><p>"Alright, then let's talk about colors for the living room, because I'm thinking…"</p><p>Santana interrupted before he could even list the colors he was considering. "Listen, Hummel. I'm happy you have a new place and everything, but now I want to talk about the truly important things."</p><p>Kurt stared at her, confused. "What?"</p><p>"This guy you banged…" Santana started, and Kurt groaned in frustration. "Aren't you going to tell us all about it? I need details."</p><p>"And <em>I</em> want to know when you're going to see him again," Rachel intervened.</p><p>"I'm not seeing him again," Kurt replied, arching an eyebrow at him. "The whole point of this was to have a one night stand. Now that's it. I'm done."</p><p>"Exactly, because there are a lot of homosexual fish in the ocean that is New York City, and Kurt needs to catch another one," Santana smirked in that characteristic, sort of perverted way of hers.</p><p>"Santana, this is not going to become a recurrent thing," Kurt explained, as patiently as he could. "I agreed to do this, but…"</p><p>"But, what? Didn't you say it was great? Why would you deprive yourself from having more fun when there are plenty of guys out there who would jump at the chance to sleep with you? Don't be ridiculous, Hummel."</p><p>"I don't have the time, okay? I work a lot, and now I have a new apartment to get ready for my baby, who's going to be born in a little over four months. I have my hands very full…"</p><p>"Excuses, excuses…" Santana rolled her eyes. "Come on. Dedicating at least one night a week to having some fun won't kill you. Why don't you let Dani and I take you to a gay bar later this week? You can meet someone new. And even if you don't, you can get a few drinks, dance a little…"</p><p>"You know, that actually sounds like fun," Dani said, shrugging and earning a very bright smile from Santana. "It would be good for you, Kurt. You don't have to work all day, every day. Allow yourself some time to enjoy life, too. And just because we go out, it doesn't mean you have to hook up with some guy. It can just be a fun night out with your friends, and that's that."</p><p>The thing about Dani, Kurt had discovered years ago, was that she was probably the most down to Earth member of their little group. So whenever she said something, it was hard not seeing her point and agreeing with her. And Kurt was starting to suspect that Santana asked her in advance to back her up with some of her crazy ideas.</p><p>But this didn't sound so crazy at all.</p><p>"Fine. I think I have next Friday free, miraculously," Kurt said, sighing, and Santana high fived her wife. "Now, can we please toast to my new place? I can't believe you guys are more interested in my sex life than whether I have a roof over my head or not…"</p><p>The girls smiled and clicked their glasses with his. Kurt felt like this was the beginning of something amazing.</p><hr/><p>The music was loud in the dark bar. Kurt was sitting on a stool next to Dani and Santana, and the bartender placed three shots in front of them.</p><p>"On the count of three!" Santana said, raising hers. "One, two, three!"</p><p>They downed the shots. Kurt shook his head for a moment as the alcohol entered his system, sending a little shudder through him. Santana ordered another round for her and Dani, but Kurt asked for rum and coke instead. Doing shots seemed a particularly bad idea.</p><p>After their third round, Santana and Dani were already buzzed enough to forget Kurt was even there, and they began making out, Santana almost falling off her stool as she tried to get closer to her wife. Kurt smiled at them for a moment – it was nice knowing that marriage hadn't dimmed the love and passion they felt for each other.</p><p>When Santana climbed onto Dani's lap with some difficulty and began rutting slightly, though, Kurt rolled his eyes and looked away, knowing he had lost them for the time being.</p><p>The bar was packed. Kurt watched at the people dancing, bodies intertwining and grinding together, as the music seemed to make his skin vibrate. He put his empty glass down and decided to dance a little. It couldn't hurt, and it was better than staying there watching Santana and Dani dry hump each other.</p><p>Guys started surrounding him as soon as he stepped onto the dance floor. He danced on his own, though, not touching anyone and not letting anyone touch him. He could feel hungry eyes on him, the heat of numerous bodies moving around him, and it turned him on to think he could reach out a hand, grab any man he wanted and have him for the night.</p><p>Sometimes it was nice to feel wanted. It made Kurt feel powerful.</p><p>A hand or two brushed down his back and ass, but he ignored them, moving away. He felt free, as all the tensions from that week seemed to leak off his body, dissolve with every thrust of his hips. Once again, he hated admitting that Santana was right, but this was nice.</p><p>One of the guys that had been watching him came a little closer. "Do you want to dance with me?" He asked, mouth almost glued to Kurt's ear to make himself heard over the thump of the music.</p><p>Kurt appreciated that he had asked instead of simply grabbing him, so he nodded and hooked his arms over the stranger's shoulders. He could barely see him, but he seemed attractive, muscular and a few inches taller than him. He had very short hair and strong hands that settled on the small of his back.</p><p>Just as the guy's hands were starting to slide down towards his ass, Kurt felt a new pair of arms wrapping around him from behind and pulling him away from the stranger. With his eyes widening in surprise and ready to tell whoever had dared to grab him like that to fuck off, he looked over his shoulder.</p><p>And he found himself looking right into Blaine's eyes.</p><p>"Blaine?" He asked, confused.</p><p>Blaine was glaring at the other guy from behind Kurt, clearly challenging him to protest the interruption. But the man must have thought it wasn't worth getting into a fight, because he rolled his eyes and turned to dance with the man right next to him instead.</p><p>Kurt arched an eyebrow as he turned in Blaine's arms to face him. "I was kinda dancing with him, you know?"</p><p>"He was a douche," Blaine replied, finally looking away from the stranger, and as soon as those ardent eyes settled on Kurt, he felt a shiver down his spine. "Hi."</p><p>"Hey," Kurt replied, unable to stop the smile blooming on his face. "Fancy meeting you here…"</p><p>"I had a long week," Blaine explained, shrugging a little. "I needed something to distract myself."</p><p>"I see," Kurt muttered, letting out a pleased humming sound when Blaine tugged him closer to his body. "And did you find that distraction?"</p><p>Blaine's gaze burned into his, with the same desire Kurt had seen in them the night of the wedding. "Oh, I think I found exactly what I needed…"</p><p>Kurt grinned at him, just as he noticed Blaine glancing down at his lips. He wanted to lean in and kiss him right there and then, but he figured he could draw it out a little. There was something exquisite about teasing Blaine a bit.</p><p>He allowed his hands to trail down Blaine's arms and back, feeling the muscles that he had gotten well-acquainted with on their previous encounter. "Well, I'm here with some friends. But I'm pretty sure they're going to abandon me any minute now. They are kind of a very horny pair."</p><p>"Mm, maybe I should stay with you, then," Blaine murmured, his lips close enough to Kurt's ear to send another batch of shivers down his spine. "Keep you company, make sure the douche bags stay away…"</p><p>Kurt moved his mouth to Blaine's ear as well. "You know, I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy," he said, and he could swear he felt a growl rumbling inside of Blaine's chest, where they were glued together. He allowed his lips to travel down a little, skimming down the column of Blaine's neck and catching for a moment in that scar he had noticed the other night. "But I would definitely love the company."</p><p>"<em>Kurt</em>," Blaine groaned, and he sounded quite far gone already. It delighted Kurt that he could affect Blaine like this, so quickly.</p><p>Their hips moved together and Kurt could feel Blaine half-hard against him already. God, what was it about this man that drove him crazy and made him want to do naughty, naughty things, no matter where he was? For a moment he seriously thought about dropping to his knees right there in the middle of the dance floor and pulling down the zipper in Blaine's pants.</p><p>His throat was suddenly dry. "Why don't we go get a drink? It's so hot here…"</p><p>Blaine nodded, and immediately grabbed Kurt's hand to guide him away from the mass of dancing bodies.</p><p>Once they were at the bar, Kurt couldn't see Dani and Santana anywhere. He rolled his eyes. When the bartender approached them, Kurt ordered another rum and coke and Blaine asked for a beer.</p><p>Kurt put the straw between his lips when the bartender handed him his drink, and sipped at it with his eyes closed, appreciating the rush of cold that travelled down his throat. When he opened his eyes again, Blaine was staring at him.</p><p>"You are the most sensual man I have ever met," Blaine murmured in a low voice, and wow, okay. He really knew exactly what to say and how to say it to send a rush of arousal all over Kurt.</p><p>The flirty confidence in Kurt vanished for a moment, replaced by bashfulness. He looked down at his drink with a silly smile. "You say the most outrageous things."</p><p>Blaine's fingers settled on the inside of Kurt's wrist for a moment, stroking lightly and making his pulse pick up. "I'm just being honest."</p><p>Kurt smiled at him, trying to think of what to say, but Santana and Dani appeared then, settling on either side of Kurt.</p><p>"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Santana said, eyeing Blaine up and down critically.</p><p>Blaine pulled his hand away immediately, staring at the girls in surprise for a moment.</p><p>Kurt turned to his friends and gave them a very meaningful look. "This is Blaine."</p><p>Santana's eyes widened and she looked at Blaine again, as Dani's mouth fell open in a silent 'oh'.</p><p>"Blaine, these are my friends, Santana and Dani," Kurt said.</p><p>Blaine nodded politely at them. "Ladies, can I get you a drink?"</p><p>"Oh, I think I like this one," Santana smirked, pleased. "Scotch on the rocks for me, and a beer for the Mrs."</p><p>"You two are married?" He asked as he gestured for the bartender. "That's nice."</p><p>Kurt took the opportunity to get himself under control, while Dani and Blaine chatted amicably. It was a little difficult to focus on what they were talking about when Blaine kept glancing back at Kurt with that same ardent look on his face.</p><p>The bartender was setting the drinks down in front of them when a new guy stood next to Kurt, touching his shoulder gently to get his attention.</p><p>"Hi there," he said with a charming smile. "Can I buy you a drink?"</p><p>Kurt noticed Dani and Blaine falling silent and Santana standing at a side watching everything. Kurt glanced at Blaine briefly and then back at the man, who was cute but also several years younger than Kurt.</p><p>"That's really nice of you…" Kurt started saying, ready to refuse politely.</p><p>Two strong solid arms appeared around Kurt's waist, and Blaine was suddenly next to him, glaring at the man. "I can get him a new drink if he wants one. Now go play elsewhere, pretty boy."</p><p>The stranger startled and apologized profusely, disappearing in the crowd as fast as he could.</p><p>Kurt looked at Blaine with wide eyes, completely shocked at his reaction.</p><p>Santana whistled and fanned herself. "Wow. Okay. Do you want to pee on his leg, too?"</p><p>Blaine backed off like he had been burned. The confident, sensual guy Kurt had seen until now seemed to dim and die away, and now he looked completely ashamed. He looked at Kurt and shook his head. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… I'd better go…"</p><p>He turned around and walked towards the exit. Kurt exchanged a quick look with his friends. Santana shrugged in confusion and Dani looked at Blaine's retreating figure with a shade of concern in her eyes.</p><p>Kurt bit his lip and went after Blaine, almost running to catch up with him before he could leave. He grabbed his arm and stopped him, making Blaine turn to him in surprise.</p><p>"Hey," Kurt said, frowning. "You don't have to go…"</p><p>Blaine wouldn't look at him. "That was completely uncalled for. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me…"</p><p>"It's fine," Kurt reassured him. He rolled his eyes. "Well, it's not <em>fine</em>. I can reject a guy without help, you know? I told you, I'm a big boy."</p><p>"I know. I didn't mean to imply…" Blaine hurried to explain, but Kurt pressed a finger to his lips to silence him.</p><p>"I'm hanging out with you," Kurt said, looking right into his eyes. "Did you really think I was going to let another guy buy me a drink? I know I slept with you right after I met you, but I'm not that easy, you know…"</p><p>Instead of taking it as the joke Kurt intended it to be, Blaine's eyes seemed to be about to bulge out of his skull. "God, no. I don't think you're easy. Kurt, you are…"</p><p>"Hey, hey, hey," Kurt stopped him, chuckling. "I'm just teasing you. It's fine. You can stop freaking out now."</p><p>"God, what the hell is wrong with me?" Blaine mumbled exasperatedly, running a hand through his sweaty curls. "I'm really sorry. I'm just… you're a pretty fantastic guy, in case you haven't noticed… I lost my mind there for a moment."</p><p>Kurt hooked his arms over Blaine's shoulders, getting closer to him. "Stop apologizing. It's okay."</p><p>Blaine sighed in relief. "Can I buy you another drink to make it up to you?"</p><p>Kurt was rarely this impulsive, but it seemed he was a completely different person when he was around Blaine. Blaine made him want to take risks, to go crazy, to give in to temptation. So he did. Instead of answering, he simply leaned in and pressed his mouth against Blaine's.</p><p>Blaine gasped in surprise into the kiss, but began responding immediately, wrapping his arms around him and kissing back in earnest. The beat of Kurt's heart seemed to match the constant <em>thump thump thump</em> of the bass vibrating from the speakers.</p><p>Yes, Blaine made him reckless. He made him feel like he was a caged beast whose prison was finally opened. The desire poured out of him in waves, choking him until he accepted it and followed its lead.</p><p>"Do you want to go back to my place instead?" Kurt offered, voice shaking a little in anxiety. He could be rejected. Maybe being so blunt and daring would have its consequences.</p><p>He saw Blaine swallowing as his pupils blew wide. He could almost feel the arousal thrumming through Blaine's veins as he held him.</p><p>"Yes," he said at last.</p><p>Kurt didn't need to hear another word. He simply grabbed his hand, their fingers intertwining as if they had done that same thing a million times before, and led him out of the bar and into the street.</p><p>Santana and Dani would understand.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sweat and come were cooling off on his skin, and Kurt had never felt so disgusting and so damn satisfied before in his life.</p><p>Blaine was panting next to him, with a hand on his naked chest and a blissed-out expression. If he could moved at all, Kurt would kiss that ecstatic smile off his lips.</p><p>"That was… that was…" Blaine tried to say more, but he didn't seem conscious enough to find the right words.</p><p>Kurt patted his shoulder lazily. "I know what you mean."</p><p>Blaine shifted his head on the pillow until he could look straight into Kurt's eyes. "You're amazing."</p><p>Kurt couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his face. "It takes two to tango, my dear."</p><p>Blaine chuckled and let out an enormous sigh. "Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you're the best dance partner I've ever had."</p><p>"Mm," Kurt hummed happily, already feeling how sleep was tugging him closer. "Let's just say we're both great in bed and call it a tie."</p><p>"Deal," Blaine murmured, leaning closer to kiss Kurt's collarbone. "You can sleep, if you want. I'll use your bathroom for a sec and be on my way…"</p><p>"You sure you don't want to stay?" Kurt asked, letting his eyes slip closed, loving the feeling of Blaine's lips on his skin.</p><p>"I can't. I have to be up too early for work tomorrow, and I don't want to wake you," Blaine replied, sitting up and reaching for his clothes. "It's just better if I go home now."</p><p>"Okay," Kurt agreed, not paying much attention. He curled himself around a pillow and fell asleep.</p><p>He might have dreamed that Blaine pressed the sweetest little kiss to his lips before he left, closing the door gently behind himself.</p><hr/><p>Kurt stood up hastily when he saw Tanya walking into the coffee shop. She hadn't seen him yet, so he waved her over with a huge smile.</p><p>"Hi Kurt!" She said as she reached the table. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting. I was halfway to the bus stop when I had to pee. Again. This baby loves playing with my bladder."</p><p>"It's fine, I haven't been here long," Kurt said, unable to stop himself from glancing down at her belly every couple of seconds. They sat down across from each other, and he immediately pushed a tray towards her. "I got you a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese and green tea. I hope you like it. I heard it's really good for the baby's…"</p><p>Tanya laughed as she accepted the tray, and Kurt stopped talking, worrying he had overstepped. "You sure are eager. That's a good sign, though," she patted his hand reassuringly. "And I eat pretty much anything at this point. I'm always hungry, so thank you."</p><p>Kurt watched her take a huge bite off the bagel as he sipped his coffee carefully. "How are you?"</p><p>"Tired, but good," she answered with a smile. "I've been picking up extra shifts at work. I always try to work more during the summer to make up for the days I have to miss when I have exams."</p><p>"You never told me what you do," Kurt said, worrying about Tanya working too much.</p><p>"Oh, I'm a waitress. I'm a bit of a cliché, aren't I?" She said lightly. She was like a breath of fresh air. "But it's only temporary. I'm hoping to get an internship this year."</p><p>"That would be amazing. You learn so much on internships. They're hard work, but they are always worth it," Kurt said, leaning back on his seat. "There are times when you wonder why the hell you're working your ass off for pretty much no money at all, but the truth is they are helpful. They give you first-hand experience and let you glance into the world you want to step into."</p><p>"That's true," she nodded, sipping at her tea. "How's work? You said you're very busy."</p><p>"Oh, I got hired for another wedding this morning, so I have a few very hectic months ahead," he replied. "I'm currently working with four different clients, so yeah… I'm busy, but it's good. I can handle it."</p><p>"I can't imagine you have much time to have fun," she observed frowning.</p><p>Kurt felt his heartbeat picking up. "If you're concerned about me not having enough time for the baby, I…"</p><p>"Hey, hey, hey," Tanya immediately stopped him, reaching for his hand and squeezing softly. "Don't freak out. I'm not here to test you on your parenting skills. It was just a comment. I'm sorry if I sounded critical…"</p><p>"You didn't. I'm sorry," Kurt laughed awkwardly, hiding his face behind his hand. "It's just… I've wanted to be a dad for a while now, and I'm still having a hard time believing it's actually going to happen. I don't want to screw this up."</p><p>"You won't. I'm here as… your friend, let's say. The truth is, I don't have a lot of good friends right now," she shrugged as if it didn't matter. "And you seem like a wonderful guy. That's why I asked you out for coffee." She started rummaging through her bag. "Plus, I thought you might be interested in seeing some sonograms…"</p><p>Kurt almost squealed in excitement. "Oh yes! I would love to!"</p><p>Tanya laughed as she passed them along. Kurt's eyes filled with tears as he looked at the blurry black and white pictures. That tiny little thing right there was his son or daughter.</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>"I have another one scheduled in a few of weeks," she said. "Would you like to come with me?"</p><p>Kurt looked up at her, shocked. "Are you serious?"</p><p>She nodded, hesitantly. "It's okay if you don't want to. But I was thinking… I'm doing this on my own, and once the baby is born, you're going to be doing it on your own. So why don't we team up for now?"</p><p>Kurt grabbed her hand. "I would love to. Thank you, Tanya."</p><p>"You're welcome," she grinned.</p><p>"You know, I'm actually glad you called me. I was about to call the agency this week. I want to help out with the medical bills. They can't be cheap, and I…"</p><p>"Oh! Oh, god, no, it's okay…" she blushed profusely. "I couldn't ask you to pay for any of it…"</p><p>"You're not asking. I'm offering," Kurt insisted, looking right into her eyes. "Tanya, it's the least I could do. Please. You don't have to do this on your own. We're a team now, aren't we?"</p><p>Kurt could tell from her sigh that she was relieved. Her situation was probably more difficult than she admitted.</p><p>"Fine," she agreed. She looked at him for a moment. "So… are you seeing anyone? You didn't mention that in your interview."</p><p>Kurt's mind immediately flashed to heated memories of Blaine, the taste of his skin and the sound of the bed banging against the wall. He licked his lips, recalling the saltiness of his skin on his tongue. God, he hoped he didn't look as flustered as he felt.</p><p>"No, I'm not. I just haven't found the right person, yet," Kurt said, and shrugged as if it didn't matter. "I decided to start a family on my own because you can't rely on fate or luck to find the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Isn't it silly to wait for someone else in order to live <em>your</em> life?"</p><p>"It really is," Tanya said, as she played with the lid on her cup. "You're a very smart guy, Kurt Hummel. I like you."</p><p>Kurt patted her hand softly. "What a coincidence, Tanya, dear… I like you, too."</p><hr/><p>When Kurt got home later that day, he put one of the sonogram pictures up on the refrigerator door, holding it up with a heart-shaped magnet.</p><p>He smiled like an idiot every time he went looking for a glass of water.</p><hr/><p>If Kurt had thought Cooper Anderson was a difficult customer, it was only because he hadn't yet met the future Mrs. Lawrence. She was a force to be reckoned with, and Kurt eyed very carefully the list she handed him of every single thing she demanded to have at her wedding. Her fiancé was a quiet man, who spent most of their meeting replying to emails on his phone. He only joined the conversation when they started discussing the budget, and Kurt knew immediately that the only way in which this man was going to be involved in the wedding planning would be by writing checks.</p><p>The rest of Kurt's day was spent contacting some of his vendors and visiting venues that would meet the couples' numerous requirements. Kurt could foresee many headaches in his future. He still had other weddings to work on, but he realized that this one was going to be a new challenge.</p><p>By the time he finally got home that night, Kurt was more than ready to relax with a glass of wine. He had promised to email the budget to Mr. Lawrence the following day, though, so his glass of wine would have to be accompanied with a side of more work.</p><p>Kurt changed into his comfiest yoga pants and a black tank top, and decided to order some Chinese food to make his working night more bearable. He rolled his neck to get rid of some of the tension of the day while he placed his order with his favorite Chinese restaurant, knowing he was ordering more food than he would be able to eat, but also knowing he would end up needing the leftovers at some point later this week. He barely had time to cook anymore.</p><p>He opened a bottle of his favorite red wine and poured himself a generous amount, taking a sip and letting the luscious, silky liquid caress his tongue. Oh yes, this was exactly what he needed right now.</p><p>He settled on the couch with his glass of wine, his laptop and a big file where he had been gathering information for the budget. Mr. Lawrence didn't strike him as a guy who would have issues paying the bills, but some of the requests his fiancée had included in the list were a little extravagant, so Kurt didn't want to bump into an unpleasant surprise. Budgets were sacred for every wedding, no matter how rich the client was. People were usually pretty touchy when it came to having to open their wallets.</p><p>Kurt scanned the list, frowning at each item. "God, why do people insist on weird ice sculptures and tropical flowers that will be dead before they even get to cut the cake?"</p><p>After having planned so many weddings, it was obvious for Kurt to have his dream wedding down to a T. He had seen his fair share of extravagant, news-worthy weddings, but when it came to his own personal taste… he always surprised everyone by admitting that the simpler the wedding, the better. He had seen many couples spend millions in a wedding only to get divorced a few months later. He didn't care if the cake topper wasn't an exact replica of him and his future husband, or if the cake wasn't covered with edible gold. All he wanted from his wedding day was to stand next to the man he loved and could see himself spending the rest of his life with, and say the magic words that would make him <em>his</em> forever.</p><p>Kurt sighed. Oh well. Maybe he would never get to have his dream wedding, but he sure as hell was going to plan the best birthday parties for his son or daughter.</p><p>He was busy replying to an email from a venue, when he was surprised by the doorbell. He was starving, though, so he was definitely glad that the delivery man had brought his food so quickly.</p><p>"Just a minute!" He called, as he searched through his bag for his wallet. He padded barefoot across the living room, counting the money as he went, and pulled the door open.</p><p>However, he didn't find a delivery man standing at his doorstep. He was definitely not expecting to find Blaine there, holding a bouquet of beautiful daisies and smiling tentatively.</p><p>"Hi," Blaine said.</p><p>"Blaine, hi!" Kurt answered, his eyes widening a little.</p><p>"I'm sorry if this is a bad time," Blaine continued, scratching his neck subconsciously. "I'm afraid I don't have your phone number."</p><p>Kurt leaned against the doorway. Blaine's eyes travelled down his body quickly, and Kurt had to remind himself that Blaine had seen him naked, so there was nothing wrong about him seeing him in his comfiest, least fashionable clothes. He still wished he had put on something a little more flattering. "It's not a bad time. I'm just working a little. To what do I owe this pleasure?"</p><p>Blaine took a deep breath and finally extended the bouquet to him. "These are for you."</p><p>"Oh Blaine," Kurt murmured, accepting them, knowing he was blushing a little. "You didn't have to. They are so beautiful…"</p><p>"I really wanted to see you," Blaine muttered bashfully. His hazel eyes were fixed on the flowers, and Kurt couldn't help but think that Blaine was awfully adorable when he was nervous. "I… I haven't been able to stop thinking about you…"</p><p>Kurt's heart did a funny little jolt inside his chest, and he bit his lip, fighting a smile. "That is definitely a very nice thing to hear at the end of a very long day," he said. He tilted his head towards the inside of his apartment. "Would you like to come in? I just opened a bottle of wine, if you'd like to have a glass…"</p><p>"I would love to," Blaine agreed, smiling brightly.</p><p>Kurt gestured for him to come in. "Make yourself at home. I'm just going to find a vase for the flowers and get another glass."</p><p>Blaine took a seat on the couch, on the little space not covered with files and brochures. Kurt found a nice vase for the daisies and put them in water, arranging them slightly until they were just perfect. Then he grabbed a glass form the cupboard and carried both things into the living room. He handed Blaine his glass, and then cleaned up a bit of his work to make room for the flowers on the coffee table.</p><p>"They're beautiful. Thank you so much," Kurt said warmly, tidying his paperwork before taking a seat next to Blaine.</p><p>"You're welcome," Blaine grinned at him, and then they simply stared at each other for a moment. They were clearly not sure about what to say next. Blaine chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry if this is weird, I just… you're pretty amazing, Kurt. I wanted to see you again."</p><p>"Well, I do tend to have that effect on people," Kurt said pompously, to make Blaine laugh again.</p><p>"So… would you like to tell me about that very long day you had?" Blaine asked, shifting a bit so he could face Kurt.</p><p>God, it had been so long since he had had someone around to talk about his day over a glass of wine. And Rachel, Santana and Dani definitely didn't count. This was… different. It was nice.</p><p>"I'm currently working with four clients, and the last couple I accepted is <em>difficult</em>," Kurt said, as he poured some wine into Blaine's glass. "Like, seriously, look at this list. Some women want fairy tale weddings, but this is straight out of <em>Alice in Wonderland</em>. And I do not mean that as a compliment…"</p><p>"I don't know, I've seen you in action," Blaine shrugged, nonchalantly. "I think you can handle it…"</p><p>Kurt narrowed his eyes at him playfully. "I never said I couldn't. I'm just appalled at some people's bad taste…"</p><p>Blaine laughed, and the sound was so low and rough that it made Kurt's skin rise in goose bumps. "You really are something else…"</p><p>Kurt smiled into his wine. "Mm. And are you going to tell me exactly why you decided to drop by tonight? Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't just to pay me some very nice compliments…"</p><p>Blaine became bashful again and oh, he could go from devastatingly hot to ridiculously adorable in just a second, and how was that fair? "Well, I do believe I already told you why I'm here," he looked right into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt was certain that all the air had been sucked out of the room, because he suddenly couldn't <em>breathe</em>. "I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I just had to see you."</p><p>Kurt chuckled as he traced the rim of his glass with a finger. "You know, I wouldn't have pegged you for the unexpectedly romantic type when I first met you…"</p><p>"Yeah, most people's first impression of me is quite the opposite," Blaine muttered, looking away, a little uncomfortable. "I wouldn't say I'm romantic, though…"</p><p>"Oh, come on," Kurt nudged him with his foot. "You came to my apartment with a bouquet of flowers to tell me you couldn't stop thinking about me. That is pretty swoon-worthy, my friend."</p><p>"I was just hoping you wouldn't think I'm creepy, to be honest," Blaine admitted, biting his lip. "Because I really, really, <em>really</em> want to ask you out."</p><p>Kurt's body was vibrating. He didn't know if it was because of the idea of going out with Blaine, or because his skin missed Blaine's touch. It could have been a combination of both. "You're asking me on a date?"</p><p>"Yes," Blaine said, without a second's hesitation. "It's okay if you don't want to, but… I just thought I'd ask."</p><p>Kurt chuckled and took his time putting his glass of wine on the coffee table, before he glanced back at Blaine. "You know, I just realized that I know next to nothing about you…"</p><p>"I thought the whole purpose of a date was to get to know someone," Blaine replied, arching an eyebrow teasingly.</p><p>Kurt shook his head. He had no idea what he was doing, but Blaine made his judgment vanish. He just wanted to pull him against his body and kiss him senseless.</p><p>Before he could answer, the doorbell rang again, and Kurt knew it was the food this time. The sound startled him, though, because he had been focused solely on Blaine for a while now, and had almost forgotten that the rest of the world existed.</p><p>"That's the take out," he said a little awkwardly, reaching for his wallet once again. "I barely had time for lunch today, and I couldn't bear to go through all this work without eating something…"</p><p>He knew he was babbling, but he was suddenly very aware of how unusual this was. Blaine had been supposed to be just a one-night-stand. Then they bumped into each other at that club and couldn't resist getting together again. But was going on a date one step too far? Kurt wasn't sure what the protocol was in a situation like this. He liked Blaine – he seemed like a really great guy, when he wasn't glaring at his brother or random strangers who tried to flirt with Kurt in bars.</p><p>Santana's voice echoed in his head, telling him he needed to stop worrying so much and just enjoy himself. And he certainly enjoyed himself when he was with Blaine…</p><p>The guy had even brought him flowers, for god's sake. How could Kurt even doubt this?</p><p>He paid for the take out and turned back to the living room, but found Blaine standing there, clearly getting ready to leave.</p><p>"So… I should probably get going," he muttered, and he looked clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>"Oh! But you can stay for dinner, if you want," Kurt offered. "I bought enough food for two."</p><p>"I don't want to impose any longer," Blaine said, overly polite.</p><p><em>Ah</em>, Kurt thought, realizing what was truly going on, <em>he thinks I'm rejecting him. What an adorable idiot</em>. "Blaine," he said, stopping him just as he was reaching the door.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I would love to go on a date with you," Kurt smiled.</p><p>Blaine's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really?"</p><p>"Of course," Kurt put the take out down on a side table and stepped closer to Blaine. "I'm free this weekend."</p><p>"That's great," Blaine mumbled, his eyes suddenly shifting to Kurt's lips.</p><p>"Let me give you my number and we can talk about the details later this week." Kurt extended his hand, and it only took Blaine a few seconds to realize he was asking for his phone. He handed it over and Kurt entered his information, sending himself a message so he could have Blaine's number as well. "Done."</p><p>"Thank you," Blaine whispered, and wow, they were so close…</p><p>"Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner?" Kurt asked, and now he was also glancing back and forth between Blaine's stunning eyes and his tempting lips.</p><p>"You have a lot of work," Blaine said. It almost sounded like a whine. "I truly don't want to impose. And I do have to be up early tomorrow…"</p><p>"Well, that's a pity," Kurt muttered, sighing in disappointment. "But you're right. I do have to get all of this done for tomorrow…"</p><p>"Then I'll let you get to it," Blaine said softly, and then forced himself to snap out of it. He cleared his throat and straightened out, putting a bit of distance between them. "I'll text you later this week, okay?"</p><p>"Sure," Kurt nodded. He took a deep breath and walked back to the door, holding it open for Blaine. "I'm looking forward to it."</p><p>Blaine's eyes swept over Kurt's body once again. He didn't seem to mind Kurt's extremely casual clothes, if the hunger in his gaze was any indication. "Me too."</p><p>Kurt watched him walk down the hallway and disappear down the stairs. He closed the door quietly and leaned against it, forgetting about work and dinner for a moment. Blaine's visit had been the best surprise after such a frustratingly long day. He had no idea what was going to happen in that date, but for now… for now Kurt was more than happy to revel in the silly joy that Blaine had left in his wake and made his heart flutter.</p><p>Swoon-worthy, indeed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh my god, Kurt, look at this!"</p><p>Rachel thrust something into Kurt's hands. He rolled his eyes as he took it. Going shopping with Rachel was an activity that required all of his patience.</p><p>His eye-rolling muted into a brilliant smile when he saw what Rachel had just given him. It was a cute little onesie with the words <em>Daddy's Little Girl</em> in big glittery letters and an adorable bow with polka dots affixed to one shoulder.</p><p>"Aw," Kurt said, doing his best not to melt at the mere sight. "This is gorgeous, Rach. But I don't even know if the baby's a girl."</p><p>"That's why there's this one, too!" Rachel exclaimed happily, giving him another onesie, this time blue with the inscription <em>Daddy's Little Man</em> and the most squeal-worthy bowtie he had ever seen. "You should totally buy them."</p><p>Kurt went back to the eye-rolling. "Rachel…"</p><p>"No, come on," she insisted, a lot more seriously than he expected. "You deserve this. You deserve to be happy and buy things for your baby and get ready to be a daddy. I know you are probably waiting for something awful to happen that will take this chance away from you because I know you, Kurt… but that's not going to happen. You're going to be a daddy. You're allowed to be happy about it, to make plans, to celebrate. So go ahead and do it…"</p><p>Kurt was a little shocked after Rachel's outburst. "What are you talking about? I <em>have</em> been celebrating and planning…"</p><p>"And freaking out. Which is completely normal," Rachel turned to her stroller when Lilah extended her little arms towards her mother. "Look, I know being a parent is a very scary thing. Trust me, sometimes I jump out of bed in the middle of the night and run into her bedroom just to check she's breathing. I've been told it gets better once you have a second baby. But… I don't know, I feel like you're not giving yourself permission to fully enjoy this."</p><p>Kurt sighed and thumbed the print on one of the onesies softly. "Of course I'm scared. I'm gonna be a gay single dad, Rachel. I'm pretty sure half of the population of New York will expect me to fuck it up within the first few days. And I can't allow myself to fuck it up."</p><p>Rachel actually laughed at this. "Oh Kurt. You call me a drama queen, but you're worse than I am, sometimes. You're gonna be fine. You have tons of love to give to this baby, and you're a fantastic man. There's no reason why you can't be the best father ever. And you will be. I have plenty of faith in you. Just stop waiting for life to turn its back on you…"</p><p>Kurt shook his head fondly at her. "If someone had told me when I was fifteen that Rachel Berry would be the one keeping me sane in my twenties and thirties, I wouldn't have believed it."</p><p>Looking down at the onesies still in his hands, Kurt couldn't bite back the smile that was blossoming on his face. Maybe Rachel was right – he was always very cautious, always waiting for things to go sour. Life had kicked his butt too many times, and he tended to expect the failures that eventually and unequivocally came his way. It had happened with every single relationship he had had; it had happened with his father's health, scaring him time and time again. His career on Broadway had died before it even began, and despite being more than happy with his current professional life, Kurt found all the failures and unexpected turns very exhausting. He wanted one thing – just one thing – to go the way he had planned it. And he hoped parenthood would be his one thing.</p><p>"Did you get everything you wanted for Lilah?" Kurt asked, and when Rachel nodded, he started his way towards the counter to pay for his new onesies. Rachel smiled as she followed him.</p><p>"Do you want to stop for coffee before we head back home?" She proposed once they were out of the store.</p><p>"I actually want to get a new outfit for myself," Kurt replied, and then bit his lip anxiously before adding: "I have a date."</p><p>Rachel squealed so loudly that she made her daughter cry, and they had to stop at a wooden bench and take a seat while she tried to calm her down.</p><p>"You have a date?" She said as she bounced her daughter up and down. "Why didn't you say something sooner? Who is he? When is this date? Where are you going?"</p><p>"How about you stop scaring your daughter and ask me one question at a time, huh?" Kurt proposed, arching an eyebrow sarcastically. Rachel rolled her eyes and simply stared at him expectantly. "Fine. It's Blaine."</p><p>"Blaine?" Rachel repeated, eyes going wide. "You mean the Blaine you met at that wedding? The one who's incredibly gorgeous and turned your legs into jelly? The Blaine you found at that club when you were out with Santana and Dani and banged for the second time?"</p><p>"Wow, Rachel, you really needed to go through the entire list?" He exclaimed, a little irritated. When she just continued to watch him without saying a word, he sighed, exasperated. "Yes, Rachel. That's the one. The only Blaine we know."</p><p>"Well, I'm sorry… I just didn't know you were still seeing him," Rachel commented, finally quiet enough not to scare her poor child. "I thought he was just a one-night-stand. Twice."</p><p>"He… was, but he actually showed up at my place the other night with flowers, and asked me out. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me," Kurt answered, proud when he managed not to blush too much.</p><p>"Oh my god, Kurt!" Rachel slapped his shoulder in excitement and Kurt frowned as he tried to get away from her. She was stronger than she looked. "That is so sweet!"</p><p>"I know. That's why I said yes… plus, he's insanely attractive. I would be an idiot not to," Kurt shrugged and extended his arms, silently asking to hold Lilah, who immediately reached for him.</p><p>"Do you think this could be serious?" She asked, leaning back against the bench and watching them.</p><p>Kurt planted a noisy kiss on Lilah's chubby cheek. "I don't know. I mean… I barely know him. If I have to be honest… I'm just following Santana's advice, which is odd enough. I'm just having a good time."</p><p>"There's definitely nothing wrong with that," Rachel said with a smile. "As long as you're happy…"</p><p>Kurt hummed noncommittally and flashed her a grin of his own.</p><hr/><p>Later that week, just as Kurt was leaving one of the venues with one of his clients, his phone vibrated in his pocket. With a quick goodbye and a promise to see them the next day to go over the menu options, Kurt waved and started his way down the street as he fished his phone out. He found a message from Blaine.</p><p>
  <strong>From Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Can I pick you up at 7.30 on Saturday? I'm making dinner reservations at 8.</em>
</p><p>Feeling a little giddy at the prospect, Kurt bit a squeal off as he tapped the screen to reply to the message. But then he cursed when he remembered he had agreed to a last minute meeting on Saturday with a couple who had a scheduling conflict.</p><p>
  <strong>To Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Dinner at 8 sounds amazing, but do you mind if we meet at the restaurant? I need to meet with a client and I don't know if I'll make it back home in time.</em>
</p><p>Kurt spotted a Starbucks just down the block and decided to make a quick stop to recharge his caffeine before he moved onto the next thing on his to do list. He ordered his non-fat mocha and moved down the counter to wait for his drink, just as his phone went off again.</p><p>
  <strong>From Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>No problem! I'll see you at 8, then. I made a reservation at Barbounia, at Park Ave and 20</em>
  <em>th </em>
  <em>st. Can't wait.</em>
</p><p>"Non-fat mocha for Kurt!" The barista called.</p><p>Kurt snapped from the little daze he had slipped into after reading the text and realized he was smiling down at his phone like an idiot. He cleared his throat and straightened his back, giving the barista a quick grin as he grabbed his drink and turned to leave. He shot Blaine one last text before he rejoined the buzzing of New York City.</p><p>
  <strong>To Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Me too. See you there!</em>
</p><hr/><p>On Saturday, it rained. Kurt had trouble finding a cab and cursed under his breath as he waited under the awning of a closed winery. It had been very sunny and warm when he had left his apartment a few hours ago, but now it was pouring steadily, and he looked down at his carefully selected outfit, hoping it wouldn't get ruined. He glanced at his reflection on the store's window to check his hair, but it was still standing proudly and flawless, so that made him feel a little better.</p><p>He finally saw a vacant cab approaching and hurried to stop it, climbing into the back seat and telling the driver the address of the restaurant Blaine had chosen. He spent the ride fixing his outfit until it was perfect – the red neckerchief just right above the collar of his white shirt, the sleeves of the shirt rolled at his elbows, and the red pants tucked perfectly into his black ankle boots. He searched through his bag until he found a little bottle of cologne and added some to his wrists and neck.</p><p>The driver pulled at the curb in front of the restaurant, and Kurt fished some money out of the wallet to pay him. He climbed out of the cab and practically ran inside.</p><p>He scanned the restaurant. It was a really lovely place with a great vibe, a huge painting of Marilyn Monroe taking up one of the walls, and an artistic black and white picture on another one, accentuating the beige walls. There were two arches that separated the dining area from the bar, and Kurt immediately found Blaine sitting on one of the stools there.</p><p>Blaine saw him before he could approach him, and stood up with a smile. He looked gorgeous, dressed in tight white jeans that did wonders to his thighs and a black polo that hugged the muscles in his arms way too perfectly. His dark hair was styled with gel and away from his face, and his eyes sparkled when they settled on Kurt.</p><p>"Kurt, hi," he said, and for a moment neither knew whether to move in for a hug or shake each other's hands. Both seemed silly, so Blaine chuckled and simply leaned in to kiss Kurt's cheek lightly. "How are you?"</p><p>"I'm great, thank you. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting," Kurt replied. "You look wonderful, by the way."</p><p>"Thank you. You look… well, breathtaking," Blaine said, and oh god, his smile was already turning Kurt's knees into two wobbling, useless things. "And no, I haven't been here for long, so don't worry."</p><p>Kurt joined Blaine at the bar while they waited for their table to be ready and ordered a glass of white wine.</p><p>"This place is beautiful," Kurt commented, after taking a sip. "I've been meaning to come for a while now, but never found the time. I'm glad you chose it."</p><p>"And I'm glad you like it," Blaine grinned, playing with his own glass. "I wasn't sure what kind of food you liked, but I thought this place would have plenty of options."</p><p>Before they could say anything else, a waiter appeared behind Blaine's shoulder. "Mr. Anderson? Your table is ready, sir."</p><p>He guided them to a little table near the window. Blaine nodded in thanks when the waiter said he would be back with the menus, and then pulled Kurt's chair, earning a bright smile. Who knew that under that stoic exterior Kurt had seen in him during Cooper's wedding he would find an actual gentleman?</p><p>"So you mentioned you had a meeting today," Blaine said once they were seated and studying the menus. "I hope it went well?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, it was fine," Kurt replied as he tried to decide what he wanted to eat. He was starving because he hadn't had time to stop for a bite since breakfast. "I have to adapt to some of my client's busy schedules sometimes. This afternoon was the only time he had available for his suit fitting, and his fiancé wanted me there. He's a disaster when it comes to clothes, apparently."</p><p>"Well, I'm honored that you could fit me into your schedule tonight," Blaine said warmly.</p><p>Kurt smiled at him for a moment, just enjoying the moment and how easy it felt. But before he could say anything else, the waiter returned to take the orders.</p><p>"I'll have the lobster and squash risotto, please," Kurt said. "It sounds heavenly."</p><p>"And I'll have the Greek salad," Blaine said, handing his menu to the waiter. "Would you like another glass of wine, Kurt?" When Kurt nodded, Blaine added, "then another glass of white wine for him, and I'd like some water, please."</p><p>"Coming right up, sir," the waiter said and then left them alone again.</p><p>"So, Blaine Anderson…" Kurt started with a teasing grin, leaning his chin on his hand and looking at Blaine across the table. "I know practically nothing about you. Care to fix that?"</p><p>Blaine chuckled and mirrored his position. "Why, Kurt Hummel, what would you like to know?"</p><p>"Everything," Kurt said playfully. "But why don't you start with the basics?"</p><p>"Okay…" Blaine muttered, thoughtfully. "Well, I'm twenty nine. I live in Chelsea in a little apartment. I moved to New York a couple of years after high school, from Ohio…"</p><p>"Shut up, I'm from Ohio too!" Kurt exclaimed.</p><p>"It's a small world, it seems," Blaine said, surprised.</p><p>"It looks like it. Did you come to New York for college?"</p><p>"No, I actually decided to skip the whole college thing. It didn't seem like the right thing to do back then," Blaine shrugged and he looked a little self-conscious, as if he was waiting for Kurt to reject him because he hadn't gotten a college degree.</p><p>"That's fine. Not everyone needs college to succeed in life," Kurt said, and smiled at the waiter when he quietly stopped by to leave their drinks. "So what do you do?"</p><p>"I'm a boxer," Blaine replied. "I compete sometimes, but I mostly work as a coach."</p><p>Kurt's eyes widened a little. He had never been a sports fan, but he definitely didn't like those that included violence. His father used to say that it wasn't about violence, about hurting anyone, but Kurt still couldn't understand why anyone would get into a ring and let someone else beat them for whatever many rounds the fight lasted.</p><p>"That… explains why you're in such great shape, I guess," he commented, floundering for something polite to say.</p><p>Blaine frowned a bit. "Yeah… well. I've been boxing since I was fourteen. It just felt like the obvious thing to do, when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. The gym I started training at when I moved to the city had an opening for a new coach, and I decided to take it."</p><p>"Do you compete often?" Kurt asked, trying not to be weird about it.</p><p>"Every few months or so. Nothing big, I never went strictly professional… but sometimes my gym organizes a few events, so I fight," Blaine explained. "What about you? Did you always want to be a wedding planner?"</p><p>Kurt didn't know if the change of topic was deliberate or not, but he was grateful anyway. "Not really. I actually wanted to be a Broadway star, but things didn't work out…"</p><p>Blaine's hand stopped abruptly, halfway to his glass. He recovered quickly, but Kurt was sure he could see the tension in his shoulders, and he had no idea what he had said to make Blaine react that way.</p><p>Kurt decided to just keep talking until Blaine felt at ease again. "But I've always liked wedding planning. I planned my dad's wedding when I was in high school, and discovered I was really good at it. When I realized I needed a new plan, this just… I don't know, it made sense."</p><p>Their food arrived then, and that was a good excuse to let the tension dissipate some more. When the waiter left again, things were back to normal, and Blaine wanted to know more about Kurt's dad's wedding, so Kurt told him, and then they shifted naturally to talk about Kurt's family. Kurt was about to ask about Blaine's but remembered how bitter Blaine had been during Cooper's wedding, so he decided against it. Blaine seemed to realize what Kurt was doing when he commented on the food instead, and smiled at him gratefully.</p><p>Kurt had a bad history with violence and couldn't help disapproving of what Blaine did for a living – but he also couldn't stop noticing just how sweet, funny and kind Blaine was, how charming his smile was, soft around the edges and always so easy to slip onto his lips, like a smile was his natural response to everything. Kurt hadn't come into this date with any expectations and wasn't looking for anything serious, not with how his life was about to change, but he couldn't find a reason not to stay and have a lovely evening with this handsome man who somehow seemed to really, really like him. And Kurt hadn't felt liked and wanted like this in such a long time…</p><p>He took another bite of his risotto and hummed happily around the fork. "This is so, so good…" He glanced at Blaine, and suddenly felt daring and bold. He gathered more risotto onto his fork and held it up for Blaine. "Come on, try it…"</p><p>There was something dark, hungry and seductive in Blaine's eyes then, as he leaned very slowly and caught the fork between his lips. Kurt felt his mouth going dry at the sight, but couldn't tear his eyes away from Blaine long enough to reach for his glass of wine.</p><p>"You're right. It's delicious," Blaine agreed once he pulled away.</p><p>"Do you want some more?" Kurt offered. He looked down at Blaine's salad. "Your food looks great, but you're going to be hungry again in an hour…"</p><p>Blaine sipped his water before answering. "I'm on a very strict diet, so I only rarely splurge. I need to be very careful I don't go into the next weight category."</p><p>"It must be a very demanding lifestyle," Kurt observed. "What's your category?"</p><p>"I'm a welterweight," Blaine said. He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "But enough about my work! What's your favorite movie?"</p><p>It was so unbelievably easy to talk to Blaine. They jumped from topic to topic smoothly, learning more about each other with every passing second. Soon the food was gone, but they didn't even notice, too busy trying to agree on what was the best Meryl Streep movie (Kurt leaned towards <em>Devil Wears Prada</em>, but Blaine said he had enjoyed <em>Kramer vs. Kramer</em> more. Kurt couldn't argue when people went vintage).</p><p>When they finally realized how long they had been there, they both seemed surprised, and Blaine called the waiter and asked for the check. They did the awkward dance of trying to reach for it at the same time, but Blaine simply smiled at Kurt and said he would pay, because he had asked Kurt out, after all.</p><p>"Maybe you can get the next one?" He asked, sweet and hesitant, and oh, Kurt melted a little bit inside at that.</p><p>Luckily, Blaine had brought an umbrella with him, because it was still raining steadily. They huddled together under it, with the sound of the raindrops falling around them and the ever-present New York traffic as their soundtrack. They were staring at each other's eyes, the air charged with possibilities, and Kurt held his breath. This was the perfect time for a kiss, and he knew it.</p><p>A cab's horn echoed angrily from the street, startling them both. Blaine looked away and then chuckled, a faint pink blush overtaking his cheeks.</p><p>"I don't want to say goodnight to you yet," Blaine muttered in a low voice, private, as if he just wanted to speak to Kurt and Kurt alone, keeping the world away. "Would you like to walk with me for a while?"</p><p>Kurt bit his lip and looked around. "It's raining."</p><p>"I love rainy weather," Blaine shrugged and reached for his hand. "Come on."</p><p>They didn't talk much. It was like a silent agreement that they simply walk together, their hands intertwined between them and their shoulders pressed together so they wouldn't get drenched. Kurt was very aware of the warmth of Blaine's hand in his, and his heart was beating so loudly he thought it might drown out the sound of the city.</p><p>Sometimes Kurt was so caught up in his life that he forgot to take a look around. When he had first come into this city, he had taken all the time in the world to get to know New York and fall irrevocably in love with it. But then life got busier and he grew up, and the city was just a city that he took for granted every day. Now, with Blaine by his side and the shelter of the umbrella over them, New York was new and stunning all over again. The endless city lights kept the darkness away, and every street, every corner was familiar and comforting, like a hug from an old friend that would never leave him alone.</p><p>They stopped at a corner to wait for the red light, and Blaine turned to face him. His big, beautiful hazel eyes wandered over Kurt's face, as if he wanted to commit every single detail of him to memory.</p><p>"I can't tell you how glad I am that you agreed to go out with me tonight," Blaine murmured softly.</p><p>Kurt squeezed his hand. "I am, too. I had a lovely time. <em>I am having</em> a lovely time, actually."</p><p>Blaine raised their tangle hands up to his face and kissed Kurt's knuckles. "Please tell me this won't be the last time I'll see you. Tell me we can do this again."</p><p>Kurt smiled and pressed his free hand against Blaine's chest. "Well, how could I possibly say no when you ask like that?"</p><p>Blaine looked down for a moment, with his lips pressed to Kurt's knuckles, and Kurt could see him try to bite back a big smile. "You know, you're making it awfully hard for me not to kiss you right now…"</p><p>Kurt arched an eyebrow and cupped Blaine's face, making him look up again. "It would be terribly rude of me to deny you a little kiss now, wouldn't it?" He teased.</p><p>Blaine seemed to be having trouble holding back his laughter. "Oh yes, it would be completely unacceptable…"</p><p>"In that case…" Kurt murmured, and leaned in.</p><p>It wasn't anything like the desperate kisses they had shared before. There wasn't a feeling of urgency this time, a prelude to something else. They weren't tearing each other's clothes and trying to get to the bed. They were kissing because there wasn't a reason not to. They were kissing because it felt right. They were kissing because their lips had been tingling in anticipation all night long.</p><p>Their mouths slid together wetly, lips parted and breaths mingling, as Blaine wrapped his free arm around Kurt's waist to tug him closer. Kurt lifted both of his to surround Blaine's neck and then tilted his head to the side just right, looking for the perfect angle. He could feel the tip of Blaine's tongue hovering near his lips, a little hesitant, so he touched it with his, until he could drive it into his own mouth, sucking lightly on it and earning a low, needy moan from Blaine.</p><p>Kurt's eyes fluttered open for a moment, and he was hypnotized by how beautiful Blaine looked right then. Then he vaguely saw something out of the corner of his eye. "The light's red…"</p><p>Blaine caught his lower lip between his and grazed it with his teeth, sending shivers down Kurt's spine. "There will be plenty of red lights."</p><p>Kurt smiled into the next kiss. The rain continued to fall around them and New York City didn't stop its usual hectic Saturday night pace. But to Blaine and Kurt, there was only the tantalizing slide of lips and the soft puffs of breath as they continued to kiss each other for many more red lights.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt spent the whole cab ride back to his place pressing his fingertips to his kiss-swollen lips and smiling like an idiot, particularly savoring that last magnificent kiss, before they parted. This time, they didn't go back to one of their places and rip each other's clothes off on the way to the bed. This time, that didn't feel right. They wanted something more than just a hookup now, even if neither of them put it into words.</p><p>But Kurt still didn't know where this was headed. He still hadn't mentioned the baby. It had started out just being casual fun, but now it seemed to have somehow turned into one of the most beautiful things he had ever experienced. It had been a very long time since he'd felt this giddy and light, after a date.</p><p>He ignored the worries niggling at the back of hismind, and decided to continuerevelling in every second of this feeling, for as long as it lasted.</p><hr/><p>Kurt was enjoying a glorious cup of coffee and a bagel on Sunday morning when his cell phone rang. He picked it up lazily, not taking his eyes out of the crossword he was doing until it rang for the second time. He accepted the call with a smile.</p><p>"Well, hello there," he said happily.</p><p>"Hi, Kurt!"</p><p>Tina Cohen-Chang was part of his oldest circle of friends, from high school, and under that sweet kind exterior was one of the fiercest girls he had ever met. They had parted ways when Kurt graduated a year before her, and a year later she headed to Brown University. They got together every time one of them was back in Ohio for the holidays, usually at their typical parties with the rest of their friends from high school. Kurt still remember fondly that time Tina had pretended to be his girlfriend when Kurt wasn't out to his father.</p><p>Oh, he had been such a silly boy back then…</p><p>"How are you? Oh my god, we haven't talked in ages!" He exclaimed excitedly.</p><p>"I've never been better," Tina replied, failing to suppress a squeal of excitement. "Mike proposed last night!"</p><p>Kurt didn't suppress his own squeal. He let it echo around his kitchen. "Oh my god! Tina, congratulations!"</p><p>Mike had been her high school sweetheart. They had been apart during their college years, but they had found each other again when they both got jobs in the performing scene in Los Angeles. Kurt had always thought they were kind of the perfect couple. He couldn't be happier for them.</p><p>"I can't believe it. I just…" She stopped and tried again. "I wasn't expecting it. When he got down on one knee, I thought I was going to faint."</p><p>"I want to see a picture of the ring. You'd better send me one as soon as we get off the phone!" Kurt said, trying to sound stern and failing completely.</p><p>"I will, I promise!" She laughed, sounding radiantly happy. "But I have a reason to call you, besides telling you the news."</p><p>Kurt took a sip of his coffee. "Do tell!"</p><p>"I was hoping you'd like to help me plan the wedding," Tina said, a little unsure. "I know you're always busy, but…"</p><p>"Tina, don't say another word. I would be honored to plan your wedding!" Kurt said immediately. "Have you set a date? Are you having it in Los Angeles? Because I have a million ideas for weddings at the beach that I just can't really use here…"</p><p>"I'm sorry to disappoint, then, but we decided to do it in Ohio," Tina answered. "It's just easier, since most of our family is there, and most of our friends, too." Kurt nodded despite the fact that she couldn't see him. "And I've always wanted a winter wedding. So Mike said it would be nice to do it on Valentine's Day, even if it's a little corny…"</p><p>Kurt had never understood the compulsion to marry on Valentine's Day, but if that was what his friends wanted, he could get on board. "It sounds perfect, honey. I'm going to need to get to Ohio soon and start looking at venues, unless you had something in mind?"</p><p>"Not really," Tina admitted. "I kinda really need your help. I'm so nervous and I don't know how to do this!"</p><p>"Then we need to find a time that works for the both of us and meet in Lima to go all over the details," Kurt said, standing up and walking to his office to find his planner.</p><p>After some discussion, they agreed to meet in two weeks in Lima. Tina was so excited that Kurt's face hurt from how hard he was smiling, hearing her so happy.</p><p>They talked for a few more minutes and then hung up. Kurt went back to his coffee and decided to let his dad know that he would be visiting and possibly staying with him for a few days, but he had the feeling that Burt Hummel was going to be quite pleased at the news.</p><p>"You're coming home? That's amazing, kiddo! How many days can you stay?" Burt exclaimed.</p><p>Kurt felt guilty that he didn't go back to Ohio as much as he should have, but Burt knew his son was busy. Maybe once the baby was born he would be able to visit more while he took time away from work. He still needed to figure out a lot of stuff…</p><p>"I think I'll be staying four days," Kurt said, looking at his planner again just to make sure, and writing <em>Ohio</em> in red ink over the four days just to make sure he didn't add any appointments there. "Five if I can get away with it, but no promises."</p><p>"Four is better than none at all, if you can't stay longer," Burt promised. "But don't let Tina take all your time. I want my kid around while he's in town."</p><p>"Yes, Dad," Kurt chuckled. "I think I'll have plenty of time for the both of you. Don't be jealous."</p><p>But if Kurt had to be honest, he was incredibly excited to go home, too. It was going to be nice to have some family time and step away from the craziness of his life for a little while.</p><p>Kurt sighed in contentment once he and his dad said goodbye, and decided to indulge in a second cup of coffee.</p><hr/><p>Since Kurt had now added a trip to Ohio to his schedule, taking time to see Blaine was nearly impossible. Before he left, he had to ensure he had every detail for his clients covered, and his day only had so many hours in it.</p><p>That didn't mean they forgot about each other. They texted frequently and kept each other updated on their days, just in case something happened and they suddenly had time to grab a bite together. So far, it hadn't happened, but Kurt loved finding sweet little messages from Blaine every now and then.</p><p>
  <strong>From Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Thinking of you xo</em>
</p><p>Kurt would flush, bite his lip and stare at his phone for three minutes straight. He never knew how to reply to that kind of text. Should he say he had been thinking of Blaine, too? It wasn't true, though. He had been choosing cutlery and trying to match it with the china the couple had chosen the week before. Should he just say hi and ask him how he was? Wouldn't that sound like he didn't care about what Blaine had said? Or should he say something like <em>'awww, that's so nice!'</em>? Wouldn't it sound like a thirteen year old texting her crush?</p><p>He finally chose a mature and yet appropriately warm response.</p><p>
  <strong>To Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Can't wait to see you again. Hope you're having a nice week?</em>
</p><p>That was a perfect conversation starter, and it would end up carrying them through the day as they exchanged little stories of what had happened to them, pictures of what they were having for lunch, or even frustrations. After a couple of days, Kurt's day started with a 'good morning' text from Blaine, and ended with him falling asleep with his phone on the pillow next to him.</p><p>What he had with Blaine was… confusing. Kurt couldn't deny how attracted he was to Blaine, but he also didn't know what he was supposed to do about all this. Part of him wanted to relax and go with the flow, but another was concerned that he was leading Blaine on when he couldn't offer serious commitment.</p><p>"Oh, Kurt! Look at these beautiful linen napkins! Do you think we can have them folded like roses?"</p><p>Kurt shook out of his daze and went back to his client. There would be a time and place to figure out his own affairs, and this certainly wasn't it.</p><hr/><p>It was a lovely Wednesday, sunny and warm, and Kurt found himself with an hour to kill before his next meeting. He stopped at a café, bought a sandwich to go, and walked two blocks down to Central Park, finding a nice quiet bench where he could soak up some sun and relax.</p><p>He had booked a flight to Ohio for the following Sunday, and he was looking forward to a few quieter days with his family and Tina. Even if he had to work on her wedding, he knew it would be a lot more relaxed than it was here. Whenever he left New York, he marveled at how the rest of the world seemed to move at a slower pace.</p><p>Kurt took a bite of his veggie sandwich and tipped his head back to the sun as he chewed, closing his eyes and enjoying his break. He had to interview several bands for the entertainment of one of his weddings, and he was not looking forward to going back indoors when it was so nice outside.</p><p>"Kurt?"</p><p>Kurt opened his eyes and looked up at the sound of his name, shielding his eyes from the sun, and surprised to find Blaine there, smiling brightly. "Blaine, hi! What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I'm training with one of my guys!" Blaine exclaimed, pointing at a young man who was running on the spot, a few feet away, clearly waiting for Blaine.</p><p>Kurt took a better look at Blaine and felt his throat going dry at the sight. He was sweaty, dressed in a black tank top and shorts. The muscles of his calves made Kurt's breath stutter in his chest, and the way his hair was curling gently around his forehead with the sweat was just absolutely unfair. Every single one of his muscles seemed to be on display, and Kurt wanted to squeeze each and every one just to test how strong they were. His eyes found a little drop of sweat sliding down the column of Blaine's neck, and he had to physically stop himself from launching at Blaine and licking it.</p><p>Oh wow.</p><p>Kurt cleared his throat and did his best to not look like he was having a meltdown. He crossed his legs delicately, just in case. "That's great! Do you train here often?"</p><p>"As much as I can!" Blaine replied. "It's better than running on a treadmill. What about you? What are you doing here?"</p><p>Kurt lifted his sandwich, feeling a little silly. "Oh, you know… just killing time and having some lunch…"</p><p>Blaine grinned and Kurt was so glad he was sitting down, because that was some <em>killer</em> smile. "It's so nice to see you. I would give you a hug, but you look amazing, and I…" He gestured to himself and to the sweat-soaked clothes sticking to his skin.</p><p>"Oh yeah, you look… fantastic," Kurt said vaguely, because he was too busy staring at the little peak of Blaine's nipples through his tank top.</p><p>Blaine laughed and arched an eyebrow teasingly. "Really, now?"</p><p>Kurt realized what he was doing and shook his head, trying to get rid of the daze he had fallen into. "God, I'm sorry, I just…"</p><p>"Don't apologize. I like it when you look at me," Blaine admitted softly, making Kurt blush like a school boy.</p><p>"Well, you <em>are</em> extremely pleasant to look at…" Kurt shrugged, going for nonchalance. He saw Blaine's friend getting a little restless as he waited. "I think your training buddy wants you back."</p><p>Blaine looked over his shoulder and sighed. "Yeah, I should get back to it, I guess…" He bit his lip and didn't move, though. "Hey, listen. I know you're busy, but… can we have dinner together again? I'm probably going to die if I don't see you again soon…"</p><p>Kurt's heart was certainly ready to join a circus, because the jumps it was doing inside his chest were worthy of an acrobat. He knew the sensible thing to do was to ask Blaine to wait until he came back from Ohio, but… "Do you have time tonight? I guess I could put work aside for just one night…"</p><p>Blaine's smile was blinding. "That sounds perfect. And in exchange for your sacrifice… come over to my place. I'll cook for you."</p><p>Kurt tried to remember the last time a man had cooked for him, but he honestly had no idea how long it had been. He beamed up at Blaine. "I can't wait. Text me your address and the time later?"</p><p>"Deal," Blaine winked at him and began jogging away to meet his friend. "See you tonight, Kurt!"</p><p>Kurt chuckled as he watched him bounce a little on his feet in excitement and high five his friend. Sometimes he had a hard time believing that Blaine Anderson was actually real, and not a beautifully sweaty figment of his own imagination.</p><hr/><p>Kurt made a quick stop at his apartment after work, to take a shower and change his clothes. He chose his favorite pair of jeans and a Ralph Lauren short sleeve button down with a delicate polo-related pattern. It was one of his latest purchases and he loved how tiny it made his waist look.</p><p>He fixed his hair and left his apartment, deciding to take a cab instead of walking to the subway. It had been a long day and, if he had to be honest, he really, <em>really</em> wanted to see Blaine…</p><p>He had bought a little bouquet of tiger lilies once he had left his office, not wanting to arrive empty-handed, and had also grabbed a bottle of wine from his own little collection. Blaine hadn't drunk much during their date, but maybe he could convince him to share a glass with him.</p><p>He checked Blaine's address again, bringing back the text message he had received a few hours ago, and gave it to the driver. He watched the city lights pass by his window during the drive, trying to keep his mind from jumping right back into work mode the way it did every time he had down time. Part of him knew he was supposed to be getting stuff done before he left on Sunday, but for once Kurt didn't care all that much.</p><p>Blaine lived in an industrial brick building. It looked like a very old construction, but there was something incredibly charming about its façade. He paid the driver and exited the cab. Blaine lived in the fourth floor, so he climbed the stairs, careful not to jostle the flowers too much.</p><p>He looked down at his outfit before knocking the door, making sure everything was still in place. He heard Blaine's reply from somewhere inside the apartment: "Just a second!"</p><p>When Blaine opened the door, he was drying his hands in a blue kitchen towel. He was dressed in dark jeans and a light grey Henley with the buttons undone. His hair was still a little damp from the shower and he was clearly clean-shaven and smooth. He wasn't wearing any shoes, his feet bare on the wooden floor.</p><p>Kurt remembered just how dizzy he had felt when he had run into him at the park. Blaine was simply the most irresistible man he had ever met.</p><p>"Kurt, hi!" Blaine said brightly, with a smile that would have put the sun to shame. "You look amazing. Come on in!"</p><p>Kurt extended the flowers to him. "Hi. I brought some wine, too, I hope you don't mind?"</p><p>"Oh, no, it's great. It'll go perfectly with what I'm making…" Blaine said, accepting the flowers and smiling bashfully. "<em>Kurt</em>. You didn't have to…"</p><p>Before Blaine could say anything else, though, Kurt felt something snap inside of him. He grabbed Blaine by his shirt and pulled him closer until he could crash their lips together. Blaine let out a shocked little sound, but kissed back almost immediately, tilting his head into the kiss as if it was second nature. Kurt slid their lips together for a moment, before catching Blaine's bottom one between his own, sucking on it lightly. He had to pull away when he almost dropped the bottle of wine he was still clutching in his other hand.</p><p>Blaine's eyes were a little dark and blown wide when the kiss ended, and he was looking at Kurt as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Whoa. Hi…"</p><p>Kurt giggled. Oh god, he <em>giggled</em>. "Hi. Sorry about that. I've been dying to do that all day…"</p><p>"Please don't ever apologize… it was… it's so…" Blaine shook his head slightly, clearly having trouble finding the right words. He cleared his throat and took a step back to allow Kurt further into the apartment.</p><p>Blaine's apartment was surprisingly big for New York. The combination of brick walls and leather furniture made it look like a very sophisticated man cave. There were several paintings hanging here and there that Kurt wanted to look at more closely later, two sturdy bookcases full of books and big flat screen TV facing the comfortable-looking black leather couch. Everything was spotless – no dirty laundry hanging around, no empty cans of beer on the coffee table. The small wooden table was already set for dinner, a lone candle waiting to be lit in the center of it.</p><p>"Thank you so much for the flowers," Blaine said, apparently regaining his ability to speak. "They're gorgeous. Let me find a vase for them…"</p><p>He walked into another room and Kurt followed him, finding himself in a decently-sized kitchen with stainless steel appliances and black granite countertops. He could smell the delicious aroma of a homemade meal being cooked, and he leaned against the doorway to watch Blaine search through a cabinet until he found a glass vase, that he filled with water before arranging the flowers in it.</p><p>"Your apartment is lovely," Kurt commented politely. "It's very… you. I can definitely see you coming here to relax at the end of a long day."</p><p>"I've never had an eye for interior design, but I like to think I did well," Blaine said with a blinding smile. He walked back into the living room, purposefully brushing against Kurt as he passed him at the doorway. He placed the flowers on a side table next to the couch, arranging the other items on it so the flowers would be the center of attention. Then he leaned against the armrest of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at Kurt, warmly. "So… how was your day?"</p><p>Shivers ran down Kurt's spine at Blaine's soft tone of voice. It felt like it was pulling at him, so he began to walk towards Blaine very slowly. "Busy. Long. Exhausting."</p><p>"Do you ever take a break?" Blaine asked, arching an eyebrow at him.</p><p>"Whenever I can, but if there's work, I'm not going to turn it down," Kurt replied, finally reaching him. He stood very close, not sure what to do now that he was here. Blaine, however, reached for him without hesitation, pulling him even closer and setting his hands on Kurt's waist. "Oh, that reminds me… one of my best friends from high school is getting married, so I'm going back to Ohio for a few days to see her. She asked me to help her plan the wedding."</p><p>Blaine hummed as Kurt hooked his arms around Blaine's shoulders loosely. It was incredibly how comfortable this was. "When are you leaving?"</p><p>"Sunday," Kurt answered. "And I think I'll be gone for four days. Possibly five, if my dad gets his way."</p><p>Blaine chuckled. "I bet he misses you. Give him one extra day, if you can."</p><p>"Oh really? Like it's just that simple?" Kurt retorted sarcastically.</p><p>"Well, I do know what it's like to wish you were right here, so…" Blaine shrugged.</p><p>Kurt touched the back of Blaine's head, tangling a few stray curls in his fingers. "You're doing it again."</p><p>Blaine looked genuinely confused. "What?"</p><p>"That thing where you are extremely sweet, attractive and irresistible," Kurt replied, trying to sound unimpressed. "It's really not fair. I'm only human."</p><p>Blaine laughed heartily before they were interrupted by a ringing sound. He sighed. "That's the timer. I'd better go check on the food before it's overdone."</p><p>Kurt reluctantly pulled away to allow Blaine to stand up. "Is there anything I can help with?"</p><p>"There's a salad in the fridge if you want to get it for me," Blaine said, as they both walked into the kitchen. He reached for the oven mitts and opened the oven door to peek inside. "Yup, it's done. I hope you're hungry!"</p><p>"It smells delicious. Chicken?" Kurt guessed, as he pulled the fridge open and grabbed the big bowl of salad Blaine had left there.</p><p>"Roasted with lemon and rosemary," Blaine nodded, as he took the pan out of the oven and placed it on the counter carefully. "It's one of my favorite recipes. My grandmother made it for me all the time when I was little."</p><p>Kurt smiled at that. "Oh, that's so nice. Is she still around?"</p><p>"No, she passed away when I was twelve," Blaine said as he plated the chicken on a beautiful porcelain platter. "She was my favorite grandparent."</p><p>"Aw, I'm sorry. That must have been awful," Kurt muttered softly. "It's nice that you keep the memories alive, though. I like cooking some of my mother's favorite recipes every now and then, too. There's something about the whole process that makes me feel closer to her."</p><p>Blaine grabbed the platter and stopped next to Kurt on his way out of the kitchen. There was something extremely sweet in his eyes when he looked at him. He kissed Kurt's cheek. "Why don't we get this to the table and you tell me all about her?"</p><p>Kurt's heart was apparently trying to grow wings inside his chest.</p><p>While they ate ("Oh my god, Blaine, this is <em>delicious</em>!" Kurt said as soon as he took the first bite, making Blaine bite his lip bashfully and look down at his own plate, pleased that Kurt liked his cooking), they talked a lot about Kurt's mother and Blaine's grandmother, and ended up talking about their childhoods, sharing stories and experiences. Kurt began noticing that not once did Blaine mentioned his family, except for his grandmother, and he wasn't sure whether he was allowed to ask questions about that or not.</p><p>Blaine must have noticed his sudden hesitation, because he paused with his fork halfway to his mouth and watched him curiously. "What is it?"</p><p>"Oh, I was just…" Kurt shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "Okay, I don't want to make this awkward or ruin anything, but I need to ask… am I allowed to ask questions about your family? Because you never talk about your parents or Cooper, and I don't want to bring it up if it's not okay with you. Just say the word and I'll shut up about it."</p><p>Blaine put his fork down without taking a bite and sighed tiredly, making Kurt regret what he had said. But before he could apologize, Blaine said: "Things with my family… are complicated, I guess. I don't really talk to them. I only went to Cooper's wedding because my parents wouldn't leave me alone."</p><p>Kurt waited, not wanting to pressure him in any way. Blaine finally looked up at him, and seemed incredibly resolute.</p><p>"When I came out to them I was fourteen years old. Cooper had left for college already, and my parents didn't know what to do with me and my little… problem. My dad was particularly difficult. My mom simply pretended it didn't exist, that I had never spoken a word about it," Blaine explained, and Kurt ached for him. "It wasn't nice, living with them during those first few months. At first it was like I didn't even exist. Then my dad got this idea that… that he could <em>fix</em> me. He got an old car and tried to get me to work on it with him, kept talking about his associates' daughters and… just…" Blaine shook his head, as if even thinking about was too hard.</p><p>Kurt reached out across the table and grabbed one of his hands. "That must have been awful, Blaine. I'm so sorry."</p><p>Blaine squeezed his hand back in reassurance. He continued. "Then later that year, there was a Sadie Hawkins dance at my school, and I asked the only other gay kid to go with me. He said yes, my parents were angry at me for daring to do such a stupid thing… and then on the night of the dance, three seniors were waiting for us outside in the parking lot, and beat the living crap out of us."</p><p>Kurt gasped and clenched Blaine's hand in his. "Oh my god..."</p><p>"We ended in the hospital. Broken ribs, broken wrist…" Blaine said, trying to sound indifferent about it. "I was in the hospital for a while. My parents were so worried about me that they forgot that they didn't really like to have a gay son… so things started getting better between us. They were a bit more understanding. They were scared to lose me. It was a wake-up call. They still didn't like the idea all that much, but they didn't give me any more shit over it."</p><p>"Sometimes people only see how valuable what they have is when they're about to lose it," Kurt murmured softly.</p><p>Blaine gave him a gentle smile. "Yeah. I guess it was like that for them. Cooper came back for a while. He decided to drop out of college, become an actor. He stayed with me while I got better, told me I had to learn how to defend myself. He signed me up for boxing lessons."</p><p>"That was nice of him," Kurt commented warily, knowing something must have happened at some point to put a strain on the brothers' relationship.</p><p>"Yeah," Blaine breathed out absently. "After I got better, I transferred to a new school, a private school with a zero-tolerance bullying policy. I was really happy there, once I learned to trust the other students. I joined their Glee club, the Warblers, and got the lead solos on most competitions…"</p><p>Kurt's face lit up with a huge smile. "I didn't know you could sing!"</p><p>Blaine didn't smile back. "I had always loved music, but that's when I realized it was my passion, my world. That was what I wanted to do with my life… and when the time to think about college came, I decided to apply to performance-based schools. I wanted to be a Broadway star…"</p><p>The dark tone in Blaine's voice told Kurt that something hadn't gone exactly as planned.</p><p>"My parents weren't happy. My dad wanted me to do something realistic, to stop dreaming about the stage and get a real degree in something I could actually use. He wanted me to go to business school or law school… basically anything but what I truly wanted." Blaine paused. He looked down at their intertwined hands. "I fought them a lot on it, and I couldn't understand why they didn't say a word about Cooper's insane idea of being an actor, but they were giving me so much trouble. I was scared that they wouldn't support me financially, but I told them I would do it anyways. It was what I wanted. I didn't want to live a life that didn't feel like my own…"</p><p>Kurt was so scared of where this story was going that he wasn't sure if he wanted Blaine to continue or not. All he could do was hold his hand tightly and wait.</p><p>"I got accepted into pretty much every school I applied to. I could've had my pick." Blaine laughed bitterly. When he looked up at Kurt again, Kurt didn't find any tears in those hazel eyes, but he did find a lot of anguish. "My dad reluctantly agreed to pay for whatever school I chose, but I could tell neither of them believed in me. And then we discovered I had thyroid cancer."</p><p>Kurt gasped violently at that revelation. He had been expecting to hear about how Blaine had changed his mind and done what his parents wanted in order to save their relationship. He had expected to hear that Blaine's dad had decided not to pay for his education after all. He had expected to hear that Blaine had a degree in music theatre but hadn't been able to find a job in the world he loved so much.</p><p>He hadn't expected to hear that awful word.</p><p>"C-cancer?" He repeated, devastated. "Oh Blaine. Oh my god…"</p><p>"I had to postpone going to college in order to get treatment. I had to have surgery. And then something went wrong during that surgery and my vocal chords got screwed up, somehow," Blaine explained, and it was so obvious to Kurt that this was still so terribly painful to him. He wanted to gather him up in his arms and never let him go. "My talking voice is fine, mostly. If I don't overuse it, it's just a little rough sometimes. But I can't sing anymore."</p><p>His voice cracked in the last few words, and Kurt could see the hurt and the frustration in his eyes. Unable to stop himself anymore, Kurt stood up and went around the table to be next to Blaine. He pulled Blaine a little away from the table to make room and then, not hesitating for a second, he sat down on his lap. He just wanted to be close to him.</p><p>He wrapped Blaine in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry…"</p><p>Tears shone in Blaine's eyes, but he refused to let them fall. "The cancer was gone, but so was everything I ever wanted. I couldn't help but feel like my parents were relieved somehow, like they finally had an excuse to push me to do what they wanted…"</p><p>Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's hair soothingly. "Did you ever talk to them about it?"</p><p>"Not really," Blaine shook his head slightly. "But it was how I felt, and they never really showed me that it wasn't how <em>they</em> felt. So I took the second best thing, and I decided to become a boxer. I was good at it, I liked it, I was angry and I needed something to make me feel better. Boxing seemed like the logical answer to that. It had helped before, maybe it could help again…"</p><p>Kurt pressed his lips against Blaine's temple. "Did it?"</p><p>"In a way, yeah, it did," Blaine put his arms around Kurt and tugged him even closer. "I packed my things, moved to New York and did my best with what I had. I guess it could have been a lot worse. But I was devastated back then…"</p><p>Kurt nosed at Blaine's hairline slowly, thinking. "What about Cooper? You told me why you were mad at your parents, but you only said Cooper got you into boxing…"</p><p>"He's a self-centered dick," Blaine practically spat in anger. "He could do whatever he wanted with his life and no one looked at him twice. But when I wanted something, my parents couldn't understand why I couldn't be sensible and do the right thing…" Blaine closed his eyes. "He always told me how Broadway was dead, that the only way to have a real career in acting was going to Hollywood and landing a role in a big movie."</p><p>Kurt frowned in confusion. "But he's on Broadway now."</p><p>"Exactly. He got my dream job and the understanding, loving parents," Blaine whispered, sounding even more broken than before. "How is that fair, Kurt?"</p><p>Kurt suddenly felt like finding Cooper Anderson and strangling him with his own two hands. He couldn't believe how much Blaine had had to suffer in his life, and he was glad that he had managed to get back on his feet somehow. But Kurt knew very well that old wounds always left scars…</p><p>Kurt cupped Blaine's face with his hands tenderly and made him look up at him. "It's not," he murmured quietly. "It's not fair. I'm so sorry, Blaine." He kissed him briefly, just a warm comforting press of lips on lips. "I'm sorry."</p><p>Blaine held onto him as if his life depended on it, and allowed his eyes to slip closed as Kurt began peppering kisses all over his face.</p><p>"Thank you for sharing that," Kurt said when he stopped, smiling at him sweetly. "You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did."</p><p>"I wanted you to know," Blaine replied, as his lips curved in a sad smile.</p><p>Kurt tried to kiss the sadness away from it. "How about you let me go back to my seat and we can finish this delicious dinner?"</p><p>Blaine reached behind Kurt and, a second later, held up his fork for him. "You don't need to move at all. You can stay right here."</p><p>Kurt took a bite of chicken, rolling his eyes. "You're ridiculous, did you know that?"</p><p>Shrugging, Blaine took a bite himself. "Maybe. I don't really care right now, though."</p><p>Kurt sighed in contentment. "You know, I don't think I care that much, either…"</p><p>They finished eating without letting go of each other.</p><hr/><p>Once the dishes were cleared, Blaine turned to Kurt and leaned against the kitchen counter to watch him for a moment. When Kurt finally found him staring he smiled at him, questioningly.</p><p>"Would you like to watch a movie?" Blaine asked. "I mean, I got up insanely early and I may fall asleep halfway through, but I really don't want you to go."</p><p>Kurt knew he needed to get home at a reasonable hour since he had to work in the morning, but he didn't really care much about that right then. "I'd love to," he agreed. "What time did you get up?"</p><p>"Five," Blaine replied, and the way he bit back a yawn told Kurt he would be falling asleep before they were even fifteen minutes into the movie. "I get up at that time pretty much every day. We start training early."</p><p>Kurt's eyes were wide. "That is crazy. How do you do it? It must be torture in the winter!"</p><p>Blaine shrugged. "I'm used to it." He grabbed Kurt's hand and guided him into the living room again. "You can pick the movie, if you want."</p><p>Kurt picked a random movie from one of the shelves by the television without paying too much attention to it. "If you're so tired, maybe I should just…"</p><p>"No. Don't even say it," Blaine interrupted, dropping down on the couch and pulling Kurt next to him. "Stay. I want you to stay."</p><p>Kurt kissed his jawline. "All night?"</p><p>Blaine cupped the back of his neck and stared right into his eyes. "If you wanted, I would really, really like you to stay all night."</p><p>Kurt hummed, loving the idea despite the inconvenience. "Okay. But you have to wake me when you get up to go to the gym so I can go home and get ready for work."</p><p>Blaine looked so thrilled that Kurt had said yes, that he would have probably agreed to any condition Kurt could come up with. "Deal."</p><p>Kurt cuddled up to Blaine's chest as the movie started and sighed in contentment. He honestly had no idea what the hell he was doing, but he did know that there wasn't a single place on earth that he'd rather be tonight than in Blaine's arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Somehow, they had made it through the movie without falling asleep, but by the time it was over, Blaine was on the verge of passing out. Kurt steered him to his bedroom, both barely managing to strip to their underwear before falling asleep.</p><p>When the alarm went off, Kurt woke with a displeased groan, feeling slightly disoriented. He wasn't used to waking up in a bed that wasn't his, but as soon as he peeked one of his eyes open, he saw the outline of Blaine's body next to his. It was still too dark outside, and Kurt felt sleep trying to pull him back, but Blaine was stretching towards the nightstand to turn the alarm off, and the way the muscles in his shoulders shifted made Kurt aware that he had been definitely affected after spending the night next to such an attractive guy.</p><p>He reached for Blaine, caressing his back softly, and earning a happy sigh and a pleased smile.</p><p>"Morning," Blaine murmured, voice rough. He placed a quick kiss on Kurt's collarbone. "Go back to sleep. I'll wake you before I leave. It's still too early."</p><p>Kurt didn't give Blaine enough time to move away, and put his hand on the back of Blaine's neck, bringing him in for a proper kiss. It was a sleep-sour kiss, but neither cared, as they got lost in it. They were warm and loose, sweet and pliant at this early hour, and they easily fell into each other, forgetting the outside world.</p><p>Blaine, however, pulled away with a little whine after a couple of minutes. "God, I wish I didn't have to go to work…"</p><p>Kurt let his lips travel down Blaine's jaw, following the column of his neck, ghosting tender little kisses over the scar he had found there on the first night together, and only now understood what it meant. "When do you have to leave?"</p><p>"I have to be at the gym in an hour," Blaine replied as his eyes slipped shut.</p><p>"Then we still have a bit of time," Kurt whispered, and pushed Blaine gently until he was lying on his back. He looked up at Kurt curiously, and then his gaze darkened when Kurt straddled him.</p><p>"<em>Kurt</em>," he practically growled. "You're going to be the death of me."</p><p>Kurt smiled lazily. "You can't expect me to simply let you go. I slept next to a gorgeous half-naked man all night and I'm only human, after all…"</p><p>Blaine ran his hands down Kurt's chest, watching him intently. "I think I know exactly what you mean." He put his hands on Kurt's back and pulled him down to lie on top of him, their chests touching in the most delicious way. "Kurt. You're the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life."</p><p>Kurt felt so good and so warm at those words that he almost purred. He kissed Blaine again, this time purposefully, licking into his mouth as soon as Blaine parted his lips with a gasp. He could feel Blaine's hard cock dangerously close to his own – he only needed to shift a few inches in order to feel it in all its glory.</p><p>Blaine went back to running his hands down Kurt's back, slowly, feeling every knot in his spine, tracing every dip, until he reached his ass. He touched the cotton-covered cheeks, sliding his fingers between them to graze the cleft, causing Kurt to shiver in pleasure.</p><p>He caught Blaine's earlobe between his teeth and tugged lightly, making the other man gasp again. "Take my underwear off," he said.</p><p>Blaine's whole body seemed to vibrate with his groan, as he slipped his hands into the back of Kurt's boxers, grabbing a handful of his ass, before he began to slide the offending item down and off. He went immediately back to touching Kurt, teasing him with his fingers, not getting anywhere near close to where Kurt really wanted him.</p><p>"Now yours," Kurt said, and Blaine hurried to comply, as Kurt didn't stop kissing his neck, his shoulders, and every inch of that deliciously taut skin at his disposal.</p><p>Once they were both naked, their cocks brush against each other and they both moaned, moving to get them aligned just right. Kurt felt hot all over. He wished they didn't have to go to work. He wished they could stay in this room forever, touching everywhere until it was too much, over and over again.</p><p>He began to thrust against Blaine, loving how the head of his cock caught on the ridge of Blaine's, how their pre-come was beginning to leak between their bodies. "Oh god. If I had more time, I would ride you into the mattress right now."</p><p>Blaine threw his head back and used his grip on Kurt's ass to thrust against him harder. "Let's quit our jobs and do that."</p><p>Kurt laughed roughly as he picked up pace. He knew they truly didn't have much time, and he was so desperate to come already. Blaine planted his feet on the bed to urgently meet each thrust halfway, before changing his mind and wrapping his legs around Kurt's waist to bring them closer.</p><p>Kurt couldn't breathe. His whole body was being overtaken with nothing but the biggest pleasure. Breathing didn't seem important when there were others things to do – like nip at Blaine's collarbone and focus on the wet glide of Blaine's cock against his stomach. He pressed his mouth to Blaine's, but the kiss was short-lived, as they settled for simply panting against each other's lips.</p><p>"<em>F-fuck</em>, Kurt," Blaine moaned brokenly. "Harder!"</p><p>Kurt thrust against him as hard as he could, his eyes falling shut and his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. It only took one little teasing touch of Blaine's fingers to his hole to make Kurt shake as his orgasm struck. It was so sudden and powerful that he would have sworn his heat stopped for a full minute, and he simply kept moving against Blaine out of instinct, feeling the wet splash of their come mixing together when Blaine followed, announcing his own climax with a loud moan.</p><p>They held each other through it, chests heaving. They were sweaty and gross, but neither wanted to move, not really.</p><p>Blaine kissed Kurt's neck, following the path down to the curve of his shoulder. "How are you so perfect?"</p><p>Kurt hummed happily, but couldn't come up with an appropriate answer for that. He caught Blaine's lips in his and kissed him languidly. "I'm sorry if I made you late for work…"</p><p>Blaine laughed, rolling his eyes. "Oh yeah, you look very sorry right now," he teased. "And believe me, I don't mind one bit."</p><p>Kurt gave him a pat on the side of his (very muscled, very yummy) butt as he let himself fall onto the mattress again. "Well, I'm glad. But you still need to go to work. Come on, up you go!"</p><p>Blaine whined in protest but got out of bed anyway. But then he grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him up as well, guiding him into the bathroom to take a shower together.</p><p>They were both a little late that morning, but neither cared that much.</p><hr/><p>Before leaving for Ohio, Kurt met Tanya for lunch. She walked into the little restaurant they had decided to meet up, looking around for Kurt, who immediately waved her over to his table. She smiled brightly at him, and Kurt couldn't help thinking that she was <em>glowing</em>, more and more beautiful every time he saw her. Pregnancy looked good on her.</p><p>"Hi Kurt!" She said happily, giving him a quick hug. "I'm sorry if you've been waiting for long. I was already on my way here and had to go back to my place to pee. This kid thinks my bladder is a toy."</p><p>Kurt laughed as he pulled out the chair for her. "Don't worry. I haven't been here long," he assured her, taking his own seat. "How are you?"</p><p>"Good, good," she said, trying to find a comfortable position. "My feet are swollen and I pee like an elephant, but I'm good."</p><p>"Well, if it makes you feel better, you look beautiful," Kurt told her sweetly, earning a huge smile from her.</p><p>"I'm already giving you this child, Hummel. You don't have to be such a kiss-ass," she said, narrowing her eyes at him teasingly.</p><p>Kurt laughed again and waved for the waiter to come take their order. "Oh no, my dear. I'm just stating a fact."</p><p>They chatted amicably as they ate, and Kurt couldn't help looking down at her belly every now and then. He was more and more excited about the baby every day, and he kept wondering what his child was going to look like, and all the things he could teach him or her. He imagined holidays at his dad's house, as Carole and Burt doted on their little grandchild, and how his nephews would have a new cousin to play with. It was always a reason to smile, even during the hardest, busiest days.</p><p>He hadn't told Blaine about the baby and he wasn't a hundred percent sure why, at this point. He liked Blaine, he really did, but being a dad was different than being a strings-attached guy who had a baby on the way and whose life would never be simple again. He was busy now with work, but what about when the baby came? And how could he be sure that Blaine would still be around a few months from now? They were having fun, the sex was fantastic, and they just clicked so well… but neither of them had made a step towards labeling what they had, so Kurt was sure this was nowhere near serious. And did he even want to be serious with someone now? Blaine was lovely, and amazing, and sexy, and he could take Kurt's breath away just looking at him, but…</p><p>Oh, life had a way of getting complicated at the worst possible times.</p><p>"So, you're going to Ohio for a few days?" Tanya asked, as she dipped a French fry on ketchup.</p><p>"Yes, I am," Kurt nodded. "That's why I wanted to see you before I left," he added, and a little nervous edge slipped into his voice. He fished his notepad out of his bag and ripped a piece of paper out of it. "I want you to have my dad's house phone number. And his cell phone. And this is my stepmom's cell, just in case you can't reach me anywhere… and maybe I should give you my brother's number, too…"</p><p>Tanya placed her hand on top of his, stopping his frantic scribbling. "Hey, Kurt. It's okay. Why are you freaking out right now?"</p><p>"I… I just want to make sure you have a way to contact me while I'm away," he explained carefully. He didn't know why, but he was avoiding her gaze.</p><p>"Are you sure that's all there is to it?" Tanya asked, frowning. When Kurt remained silent for a moment, trying to find something to say, she leaned over the table towards him. "Kurt… are you afraid I'm going to change my mind while you're away?"</p><p>Kurt's sharp intake of breath must have given him away, because she squeezed his hand even tighter. "I'm just… I'm sorry. I know I'm being stupid, but…"</p><p>"Stand up," she ordered firmly, and he looked at her in shock. "I mean it, stand up, dummy."</p><p>Kurt did, and so did she. She went towards him and hugged him tightly, and Kurt wrapped his arms around her. She was almost the same size as Rachel, and she felt so familiar in his arms.</p><p>"I'm not changing my mind, no matter what," she muttered softly. "I chose you, Kurt. Just because you're not in town a few days, it doesn't mean I'll find a different family for the baby."</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said again, a little mortified. She pulled away to glance at him. "I guess I'm used to things never working out the way I want them to…"</p><p>"Well, this one will," Tanya said firmly, and grabbed his hand. She pressed it against her belly. "That baby in there is yours, Kurt Hummel. No one is going to take it away from you. Not even me. I promise."</p><p>Kurt felt his eyes filling with tears and hugged her again, his hand still pressed to her belly. The baby chose that particular moment to move, and Kurt gasped. "It's moving!"</p><p>"It must have recognized daddy," she said sweetly, and this time, Kurt didn't really bother stopping the tears.</p><hr/><p>Regardless of how desperate he had been to get away when he was still a teenager, there was something comforting about returning to Ohio. Kurt recognized every street, every corner, every house. He could always rely on coming back to Lima and finding it unchanged, as if it was frozen in time. And he could always rely on his father being right there, ready to wrap him in a hug and make him feel home.</p><p>When he arrived at his father's house late on Sunday afternoon, he went up to his old bedroom and left his bag on his bed. He looked around and felt sixteen again – except that sixteen-year-old Kurt Hummel hadn't been as strong and as happy as he was now.</p><p>He was hanging his clothes in the closet when he turned to find his father leaning against the doorway.</p><p>"What do you say I call Finn and his gang to come over and we'll start the barbeque?" Burt said, with a gentle smile, his arms crossed over his chest casually. "It would be nice to have the whole family under one roof again."</p><p>Kurt smiled softly at him. "That sounds amazing, Dad. I can't wait to see everyone."</p><p>"You look great, kiddo," Burt commented. "Happier. It looks good on you."</p><p>Kurt chuckled lightly and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I've had some pretty good reasons to be happy lately."</p><p>"I know," Burt nodded, smile growing bigger. "How's the baby?"</p><p>"Growing fast, but still taking way too long to get here, in my opinion," Kurt said, unable to hide the happiness bubbling inside of him at the mention of the baby. "I actually wanted to show you something," he added, turning back to his bag and searching through it. When he found what he was looking for, he extended it to Burt. "I thought you might like to see your grandchild."</p><p>Burt took the sonogram images with shaking hands and looked at the pictures as his eyes filled with tears. "Oh Kurt. He's beautiful. Or she's beautiful. Whatever it is… just… god, I can't believe you're going to be a dad." He wiped his tears roughly with his sleeve. "I still remember when you were just a little boy, when you scraped your knees learning how to ride a bike or danced around the kitchen with your mom. And now… you're a grown man, with a baby on the way…" He put his hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezed. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo. So damn proud."</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes when the tears appeared in his eyes as well. "Oh, here comes the tear-fest," he muttered. "Thank you, Dad. It means a lot to me that you're proud of what I've done with my life…"</p><p>"I've always been proud," Burt retorted, pulling him into a hug. "You have always made me proud, Kurt. There's not a single day in the past thirty years that I haven't been grateful that you're my son."</p><p>Kurt tightened his grip around his father and closed his eyes. He hoped he could be at least half the father Burt Hummel was. If he managed that, his kid would be happy, healthy and lucky.</p><p>"Let's go find Carole. She's gonna want to see this," Burt said when he pulled away, eyes immediately falling to the sonograms again.</p><p>Yeah. Kurt was definitely glad to be home.</p><hr/><p>The Lima Bean had been of Kurt's favorite spots when he was in high school. He had spent long afternoons there after class, sometimes with friends, sometimes by himself. Every time he came back to Ohio to visit his family, he made sure to stop for a cup of coffee and remember old times. When Kurt had been a teenager, there hadn't been many things that made him happy, but all the memories he had at the coffee shop had been good ones, and he treasured that.</p><p>He and Tina met there on Monday to start going over the details for the wedding. She wanted a beautiful wedding, and though it may have been extravagant by Ohio standards, Kurt had planned a fair share of crazy weddings back in New York.</p><p>"Have you guys thought about the venue?" Kurt asked after taking a sip of coffee, all business. They had chatted and gossiped for the first twenty minutes they had been there, but now they actually needed to get down to work. Kurt couldn't stay in Ohio forever.</p><p>"Well, there's a country inn, a couple hours from here that Mike and his parents used to visit in the summers when he was a boy. We might look into booking it there, if it's big enough to hold all our guests," Tina explained, with an excited grin that hadn't left her face since they had entered the coffee shop.</p><p>"That sounds perfect. Maybe we can drive there sometime this week and check it out?" Kurt proposed, writing it down in his planner.</p><p>"Whenever you want," Tina replied. "He gave me the address, so maybe I can pick you up tomorrow morning and we can drive there? I'll call today and ask if we can stop by."</p><p>"Yes, that would be amazing. Have you decided on colors?" Kurt asked, breaking off a bit of his cookie and popping it into his mouth.</p><p>"I was thinking red and pink, since it's Valentine's Day…" Tina must have seen Kurt's involuntary grimace, because she paused. "You hate that we want to get married on Valentine's Day, don't you?"</p><p>Kurt smiled at her apologetically and reached for her hand to give it a squeeze. "It's your wedding, not mine. I wouldn't have a Valentine's Day wedding, but if it's what makes you and Mike happy, then I'm not going to stop you."</p><p>"Do you have a better idea for the colors?"</p><p>"I think we can make pink and red work," Kurt replied reassuringly. "I'll find a way to make it very original and subtle."</p><p>"You're the best," Tina smiled again. "I can't believe I'm going to have a Hummel wedding. Your name was in at least three wedding magazines I bought in the last week."</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes to hide how flattered he was. "I work hard and I'm proud of what I do, but shush. You're making me blush."</p><p>Tina laughed. "When I told my dad that you're the best in the business and that you agreed to plan our wedding, he said that he wanted me to have everything I have ever dreamed of. So name your price and my dad will take care of…"</p><p>"Oh, no, no," Kurt interrupted, eyes going wide and raising his hands. "I'm not charging you, Tina. I'm doing this because I'm your friend."</p><p>"What? Kurt, you're insanely busy. You can't do it for free!"</p><p>"Yes, I can," Kurt retorted firmly. "Plus, I'll be taking time off for a few months before and after your wedding, so it's not like you'll be taking me away from other projects…"</p><p>Tina seemed shocked. "You're taking time off? You never do that!"</p><p>"Well, my baby is due sometime in December, so I want to be home and be a dad for a few months to get used to it," Kurt answered, and he watched as Tina's mouth fell open in shock, and then she had to muffle a scream with her hands.</p><p>"A baby?! Kurt Hummel, why didn't you tell me you're going to be a dad!?" She squealed, making a few people turn to look at them.</p><p>Kurt couldn't hide the happy grin that slipped on his lips. "I assumed Rachel had told you already. I can't believe she actually managed to keep her mouth shut about something. Plus, we're talking about your wedding and your engagement. This is your time to shine!"</p><p>"Still! Oh my god, I can't believe you're going to be a dad!" Tina began bouncing on her chair. "Tell me all about it, please!"</p><p>Kurt gladly told Tina the whole story about the adoption agency and how Tanya had chosen him to adopt her baby. He told her about how excited and scared he was in equal proportions, and how he planned to be home with his baby for a while as he got used to his new role.</p><p>"Does that mean I'll be meeting the baby when you come for the wedding?" Tina asked happily. "I can't wait to spoil him or her rotten!"</p><p>"Yes, I'm definitely coming with the baby. Traveling with a two month old is going to be quite an experience, I'm sure," Kurt said.</p><p>"Have you picked a name yet?" She wanted to know.</p><p>"No, not yet," Kurt shook his head. "I've been brainstorming but nothing feels right. Now… we can talk more about the baby later, but I want us to get back to work. How do you feel about the entertainment for the wedding?"</p><p>They went back to planning for a while. After about an hour, Tina got up and went to the counter to get them refills, and Kurt's phone began to vibrate on the table with a message from Blaine.</p><p>
  <strong>From Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I bet Ohio is a wonderful place right now, because New York feels awfully empty without you…</em>
</p><p>Kurt bit his lip and smiled down at the screen.</p><p>
  <strong>To Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You're so cheesy that I can't decide if I want to kiss you or slap you.</em>
</p><p>Blaine's response arrived not thirty seconds later.</p><p>
  <strong>From Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I really, really like the first option.</em>
</p><p>Kurt must have stared at the message and grinned like a lunatic for a little too long, because Tina was suddenly taking back her seat and tilting her head at him in curiosity.</p><p>"Why are you looking at your phone like that?" She asked suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed. "Kurt Hummel, are you seeing someone and you didn't tell me?"</p><p>Kurt typed a message for Blaine quickly before turning his attention back to Tina.</p><p>
  <strong>To Blaine:</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>You know, I think I really, really like it too.</em>
</p><p>"You have to be the only future bride I have ever worked with who wants to shove the spotlight onto someone else," Kurt said sighing. "Now is your time to be self-centered, Tina. Embrace it."</p><p>"I'm asking this because of the wedding," she replied innocently. "I want to know if you'll have a plus one…"</p><p>"Yes, I will. My plus-one will be a tiny baby who will hopefully sleep through most of the evening." Kurt said, arching an eyebrow. "Now can we focus on your wedding, please?"</p><p>Tina hesitated. She probably realized it wasn't a good idea to get on the wedding planner's bad side, so she relented.</p><p>Kurt turned back to the list he had been working on, but his eyes often returned to the now dark screen. It didn't light up again with a new message, but he still couldn't stop smiling.</p><hr/><p>Blaine Anderson was screwed.</p><p>The sky seemed pale and dull, because he had seen the blue of Kurt's eyes and nothing could compare to it anymore. The softness of the grass in Central Park felt rough and strange to the touch, because he had run his fingers through Kurt's perfect chestnut hair. The chirping of the birds in the early morning seemed completely out of tune, because Kurt's voice was the most amazing sound he had ever listened to. His food tasted bland, because he now knew what Kurt tasted like when they were kissing. When he touched himself, the pleasure that coursed through his body was muted, because Kurt's hands on him had pushed him to experience the kind of passion and release he had never felt before.</p><p>Blaine Anderson was screwed because he was falling madly in love with Kurt Hummel.</p><p>Life had given him plenty of reasons to be bitter since he was still a kid. But suddenly, Blaine was <em>happy</em>. Or at least he knew he was close to being happy again. It felt foreign and insane, but just seeing his phone light up with a text from Kurt made his heart race. He couldn't stop thinking about him, and spent most of his time wishing he could be with Kurt. He had no idea if Kurt felt the same, but <em>god</em>, he wanted Kurt to feel the same. He wanted to have someone to love. He wanted someone to love him, no matter how flawed he was.</p><p>He landed a good right hook on the punching back and shifted his feet. He had been training a lot harder since Kurt had gone to Ohio. He felt like Kurt didn't really approve his career choice, but Blaine was hoping to change his mind. Maybe he could show him how good he was. For some strange reason, Blaine wanted Kurt to be proud of him. He couldn't remember when he had ever needed someone's approval so badly.</p><p>Kurt made him feel like he mattered, like there was more to him than just bitterness and muscles. After moving to New York, Blaine had somehow forgotten that he was more than just a boxer. He needed more than just the firm punching bag against his fists and the ring's ropes around him like a protection he had never thought he would crave. He wanted someone to share his life with, someone who knew how to calm him when his nerves and his anger got the better off him; someone who would put his arms around him and kiss his forehead and just wait until the storm was over. Someone he could kiss, and take out on dates, and buy flowers for. Someone he could build something meaningful with.</p><p>And lately every time that someone made an appearance in his dreams, it had Kurt's face.</p><p>Maybe Blaine didn't need to keep fighting even when he wasn't in the ring. Maybe he could finally relax and give happiness a second chance. Maybe Kurt would look at him and realize he had been searching for Blaine all his life, too.</p><p>Maybe Blaine could be exactly what Kurt wanted, just like Kurt seemed to be everything Blaine had ever dreamed of.</p><hr/><p>Kurt was actually sad when he had to leave Ohio. He had spent a lovely time with his family, especially his nephews, whom he rarely got to see. Burt had almost convinced him to stay for at least another day, but he knew he couldn't postpone everything he had to do back in New York any longer. He was only one week away from one of his weddings, and the bride had been calling him almost non-stop for the past two days, worried that something would go wrong.</p><p>He texted Blaine before boarding the plane and told him he hoped they could meet at some point that weekend for dinner. They had exchanged texts back and forth during the entirety of Kurt's stay in Lima, and Kurt had come to adore the giddy expectation that he felt every time his phone vibrated with a new message.</p><p>Once in New York, Kurt felt the peace he had gained back in Lima melt. He immediately checked his emails and began answering them while he waited for his bag. It was relatively early, so he could always stop by his office and get some stuff done…</p><p>But every thought about work evaporated from his mind when he looked up from his phone and found Blaine standing a few feet away from him, holding a small bouquet of yellow roses.</p><p>"Blaine?" He asked, surprised. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>Blaine actually blushed and looked down at the flowers. "I wasn't lying when I said I missed you. I hope it's okay I came?"</p><p>Kurt smiled brightly and grabbed Blaine by the forearms, pulling him closer and planting a quick, noisy kiss on his lips. "You silly. Of course it's okay. What a wonderful surprise!" He looked down at the flowers. "You're going to spoil me, aren't you?"</p><p>Blaine shrugged with one shoulder, but smiled back happily. "I thought this could be our thing. Flowers. I like buying them for you."</p><p>"Our thing," Kurt repeated, feeling completely bewildered. "I really like the sound of that."</p><p>Blaine kissed him right there and then, surrounded by the wandering airport crowd, without a care in the world. Kurt kissed back in earnest, not sure what the hell he was doing, but enjoying every second of it anyway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blaine woke up very slowly, like sleep was still pulling at him to keep him prisoner. He sighed and burrowed his face deeper into the pillow, as he reached an arm to the opposite side of the bed, only to find it empty.</p><p>Groaning in protest, he peeked an eye open and searched around the room, but Kurt was nowhere to be found. He had forgotten to close the blinds before getting into bed last night – too occupied with Kurt's lips travelling down his shoulders and chest to think of such trivialities – and the sun was pouring into the room, bright and clear. Kurt's clothes were still there, neatly folded on top of his dresser instead of in a puddle on the floor. Blaine smiled.</p><p>He forced himself out of bed, grabbing a pair of sweatpants before opening the bedroom door. He could immediately hear Kurt's voice coming from somewhere else in the apartment, which only made him smile more.</p><p>Having Kurt in his life had made him happier than he had been in a very long time. Just knowing he was there was enough to remind Blaine why life was worth living.</p><p>It was strange, to be so incredibly in love. In the past few years he had become a bit of a cynic. And with just one little kiss and a glance, Kurt had turned him back into what he used to be. He brought back the hopeful, bright-eyed boy he was, before life slapped him on the face.</p><p>Kurt was leaning against the kitchen counter, cell phone glued to one ear, as he wrote something down in a piece of paper. He was only in his boxers, long, lean, pale back in a bow, as he tapped the pencil thoughtfully.</p><p>"No, no, it's fine. I can be there at three. But I have another meeting at five, so I need you to be on time," he was saying. Blaine wrapped his arms around him from behind, almost making him squeak in surprise, and kissed his naked shoulder. Bright blue eyes met Blaine's with a smile. "I know. I'll talk to my vendor, but I don't think there will be a problem. Okay. See you later!"</p><p>Blaine nipped at his neck playfully as Kurt ended the call. "They keep you very busy…"</p><p>"Indeed they do," Kurt sighed, molding his back to Blaine's bare chest. "Good morning."</p><p>"Good morning," Blaine replied. "Do you have time to have breakfast?"</p><p>"Not as much as I would like. I need a shower, and to stop by my apartment for fresh clothes," Kurt rolled his head back so he could rest it on Blaine's shoulder and look up at him. "I made a fresh pot of coffee. I need all the caffeine in the world before I start dealing with crazy brides. Or grooms. The levels of hysterics aren't really influenced by gender."</p><p>Blaine chuckled. "Well, how about you take a shower here, while I make something very quickly? I know for a fact you don't stop for a bite once you get going, and it sounds like you'll have one of those full days…"</p><p>Kurt hummed and turned in Blaine's arms so he could kiss him full on the mouth. "You're amazing. Okay. Maybe some toast? I won't say no to a bagel if you have one, though…"</p><p>"Of course," Blaine smiled, and ran his hands down Kurt's spine. "Now go, before I drag you back to bed and make you forget you have to work at all…"</p><p>"Oh, that sounds promising. Can I get a rain-check?" Kurt asked, biting his lip. "Maybe later this week? Let's say… Thursday? I should have Thursday night off, if you want to have some dinner…"</p><p>"Thursday is fine. Now go shower before I change my mind," Blaine murmured, rocking slightly against Kurt so he could feel his growing arousal.</p><p>Kurt whined, but pulled away. "I hate being a responsible adult."</p><p>Blaine would have been lying if he said he didn't watch the tantalizing sway of Kurt's ass as he walked away.</p><hr/><p>Kurt walked into the bar and struggled his way through the crowd towards their usual table. Santana, Dani and Rachel were already there, sipping their drinks as they chatted. He dropped his bag and binders on an empty seat and grinned at them.</p><p>"Hi guys!"</p><p>Santana immediately narrowed her eyes. "You have been having a lot of sex."</p><p>Kurt's grin turned into a frown. "Really? That's how you greet me?"</p><p>"No, no, she's right," Rachel said, leaning over the table to get a better look at him. "I hate siding with Santana, but there's something about you…"</p><p>Santana made a gesture with her hand, as if showing that Rachel noticing was proof enough.</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes as he sat down. "You guys are obsessed with my sex life. Your own must be so boring…"</p><p>"Hey, have you <em>seen</em> my wife?" Santana retorted, throwing her arm around Dani. "She's a freaking fox in bed. Last night she did this thing with her tongue that…"</p><p>"Okay!" Dani exclaimed, lips stretched into an uncomfortable smile. "Thanks for sharing, Santana. Now be quiet."</p><p>"Are you still seeing Blaine? How is that going?" Rachel asked, as Kurt waved the waitress over.</p><p>"I am, and it's going well. We're having fun," Kurt shrugged. "He's a great guy. Those aren't very easy to come by in this city…"</p><p>When the waitress brought them a new round, Kurt used the distraction to get them to change the subject, and got them talking about Tina's wedding. They were all interested in hearing more details about their friend's very exciting news, so it wasn't hard. Kurt was very pleased with himself, until he got a text about an hour later.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>From:</strong>
  </em>
  <em> Blaine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hope you had a nice day, beautiful xoxo</em>
</p><p>He must have smiled at his phone like an idiot, because it didn't take even a second for the girls to notice. Santana took the phone from him before he could even realize what she was doing.</p><p>"Hey! That's mine!" He said, irritated.</p><p>Santana ignored him, and read the text. "Oh my god, he's as corny as he's hot…"</p><p>"Oh, let me see, let me see!" Rachel squealed, shifting closer to Santana to peek over her shoulder. "Aw, Kurt. He's a sweetheart."</p><p>Kurt turned to Dani, hopeful that she would see how immature the other two were being, but he found her beaming at the phone, too.</p><p>"When are we going to see him again?" She asked. "You should bring him for a drink next week…"</p><p>"So you can interrogate him and make him uncomfortable? No, thank you," Kurt replied dryly, snatching his phone back. "I'd rather keep him around a little while longer before you scare him away."</p><p>"Do you think he's <em>the one</em>?" Rachel asked, resting her chin on her hands, staring at Kurt dreamily. "Can I be the best woman at your wedding? Or is the appropriate term groom's maid?"</p><p>"Who said anything about a wedding?" Kurt shifted awkwardly on his seat. "We're not serious. We're just…"</p><p>"Fucking like two pretty rabbits," Santana added, rather unhelpfully.</p><p>"Why do I even hang out with you three?" Kurt sighed dramatically. "I hate you."</p><p>"You love us, and you know it," Rachel said, poking his chest with a finger.</p><p>Kurt downed the rest of his drink and promised himself he would never let them anywhere near Blaine.</p><hr/><p>They saw Blaine two weeks later.</p><p>It was unavoidable, once it was time for Kurt to move apartments. As soon as Blaine found out, he offered his help, and he seemed so earnest and sweet that Kurt couldn't have said no even if his life depended on it.</p><p>Plus, he really liked watching Blaine's muscles flex when he carried something heavy.</p><p>"I had no idea you were moving," Blaine said casually as he leaned to grab one of the boxes filled to the brim with kitchen equipment. "You never mentioned it."</p><p>"It must have slipped my mind," Kurt said, trying – and failing – to look away from Blaine's bulgy biceps.</p><p>Blaine smirked over the top of the box when he caught him staring. "Yeah. You tend to get a little distracted…"</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes and glared playfully at him. "And whose fault is that, huh?"</p><p>Once Blaine had left with the last box, Kurt stood in his empty apartment and looked around, keys clenched in his fist and heart beating rabbit-quick in his chest. Closing this door meant he was taking a step in a brand new direction. He was leaving the place that he had called home for several years now, and going to a new one, where he would start a family.</p><p>He was trying so hard not to freak the hell out.</p><p>As he sighed deeply, he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist, and Blaine's sweet, warm breath against his neck as he rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder.</p><p>"Hey. You ready?"</p><p>Kurt smiled and leaned slightly into Blaine's embrace. "I'm so ready."</p><p>Rachel, Santana and Dani were waiting for them at the new building. Santana looked like the cat who caught the canary as she watched Blaine walk towards them, and Rachel's jaw was almost leveled with the floor, as her eyes swiped up and down Blaine's body.</p><p>"Holy sh…- hi! You must be Blaine!" She exclaimed with a wide grin that didn't look creepy at all. "We've heard so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you!"</p><p>Blaine shook her hand gently. "Hi. You must be Rachel. It's very nice to meet you, too. Hi, Santana and Dani, right? Good to see you again."</p><p>"There will be plenty of time to chat once we're done moving stuff into the apartment. Come on, guys!" Kurt exclaimed, hoping to distract his friends.</p><p>"Of course," Blaine said with a smile, and ran his hand softly down Kurt's back before turning back to the moving truck to start with the boxes.</p><p>Rachel let out a pretty embarrassing squeal. "Oh my god, Kurt. Where can I get one of those? Oh, oh, look at his butt in those jeans…"</p><p>"Rachel!" Kurt muttered, scandalized, trying to shush her because she wasn't exactly subtle.</p><p>"What? Like he doesn't know he has a fantastic butt…"</p><p><em>This is going to be a very, very long day</em>, Kurt thought, already exhausted.</p><hr/><p>By the end of the day, Kurt was actually glad that Blaine was there, because he was the most helpful person in the apartment. Rachel and Santana spent most of the time looking for excuses not to do any heavy lifting – or anything remotely useful – and though Dani was amazing and had the best intention, Santana managed to distract her too easily. Kurt was sweaty, tired, and ready for everyone to leave so he could get into the shower and let his sore muscles relax.</p><p>Well, everyone except Blaine.</p><p>Blaine was a problem. He was a big, handsome problem. It wasn't fair that he looked so good while doing manual work. It wasn't fair that he made Kurt's brain go gooey and silly. It wasn't fair that he could lift that bookcase all by himself, <em>holy shit, look at his arms</em>…</p><p>It wasn't fair that he kept throwing little glances in Kurt's direction that clearly said he wanted to ravish him against the wall and make him scream until every single one of his new neighbors knew Kurt Hummel was in the building…</p><p>Santana put a bottle of water into Kurt's hands rather brusquely. "Stop staring at him, Hummel, or you're going to combust."</p><p>Kurt removed the cap and took a long swig, killing time and hoping the fresh water would help the flush in his cheeks disappear. "I'm not staring. I'm unpacking."</p><p>"Sure you are," Santana rolled her eyes and walked back into the kitchen.</p><p>Blaine finished assembling Kurt's new work desk and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "All done. What do you need me to next? Should I move it into the office?"</p><p>"Yes, please. That would be great," Kurt smiled, and couldn't resist pressing a quick little kiss to Blaine's cheek as a thank you.</p><p>Blaine returned to the living room a couple of minutes later, and pointed over his shoulder. "I've just noticed there's another room. Why did you need three bedrooms?"</p><p>Kurt blinked for a moment, feeling conflicted. He knew he would have to talk to Blaine about the baby eventually, but he never seemed to find the right time. He never seemed to be able to convince himself that it was necessary. How much longer would Blaine be around?</p><p>He could see Rachel, Santana and Dani looking at him from the other side of the apartment, obviously curious, but he ignored them. He cleared his throat and grabbed for the next box to check its contents.</p><p>"Oh, I just wanted a guest room, for when my family visits," he replied, and wondered if his voice sounded weird. He could see his friends exchanging glances from the corner of his eye.</p><p>If there was anything weird in Kurt, Blaine didn't notice. He simply stretched his arms over his head and looked around. "What do you need me to do now?"</p><p>"Kurt, can I talk to you for a moment?" Rachel asked in a very sweet voice that fooled no one.</p><p>"Of course, Rachel. Why don't you help me unpack my clothes in my bedroom?" He suggested, wanting to put some distance between them and Blaine, just in case.</p><p>Rachel didn't need to hear another word. She crossed the apartment, grabbed Kurt's arm in a tight grip, and practically dragged him towards the master bedroom. Kurt made sure to close the door behind them, as he winced in pain.</p><p>"Rachel, what the hell…"</p><p>"Why are you lying to that poor boy?" She asked in a dramatic stage whisper. "Why haven't you told him about the baby?"</p><p>"It's not something I can just <em>tell</em> him, Rachel. It's not an easy conversation. And it's not like he absolutely needs to know, okay? We're not serious. We're not…" Kurt said, but Rachel interrupted him, poking him in the chest with a sharp little finger.</p><p>"You're fooling yourself, Kurt. Open your eyes! He's perfect for you, and he's obviously crazy for you!" She exclaimed, and Kurt had to shush her once again. It seemed like he had been doing that all day long. "Why aren't you honest with him?"</p><p>Kurt huffed, irritated. "I don't need to tell him my life story. I'm just sleeping with him…"</p><p>"You are not just sleeping with him. A guy you're just sleeping with doesn't help you move apartments and charms your best friends like he's desperate to fit in with the people you care about," Rachel retorted, placing her hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Blaine is obviously looking for something serious here. I know you, Kurt. I know you don't think it's possible for you to end up with Prince Charming, but this guy right here…"</p><p>"Can you not do this right now? Things aren't as easy as you make them seem. I will tell Blaine when I decide he needs to know…" Kurt insisted, angrily.</p><p>"Oh, he needs to know," Rachel said airily. "You're always so blind when it comes to these things, Kurt, but that guy is head over heels for you, and if you don't talk to him, one of you is going to get seriously hurt…"</p><p>With that, Rachel exited the room. Kurt stayed behind, fuming, hating his best friend's dramatic ways. It was infuriating to argue with Rachel when she always stormed out, determined to have the last word.</p><p>There was soft knock on the open door, and Kurt turned to see Blaine peeking into the room, slightly concerned.</p><p>"You okay? You look like you want to punch the wall," he said with a sweet, calming smile.</p><p>Kurt forced himself to smile back. "You don't know Rachel Berry. I forget why I'm friends with her most of the time."</p><p>"Whatever this is, I'm sure she means well." Blaine walked into the room and enveloped Kurt in his arms. He rocked him a little, until Kurt couldn't help grinning genuinely. "Santana and Dani are starving, and I am, too, to be honest. I was thinking of going out for some pizza?"</p><p>"Oh yes! I would love some pizza!" Kurt said, almost moaning at the idea. Then he arched an eyebrow and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. "But what about your diet?"</p><p>"I can make an exception for you," Blaine murmured adoringly, before leaning in for a quick peck.</p><p>Kurt watched him go, trying very hard not to think about Rachel's words.</p><hr/><p>A little while later they were all spread on the living room floor around two boxes of pizza, the New York City sky turning darker and darker with every minute. Blaine was propped up against the couch, his legs parted so Kurt could fit between them, absently playing with his hair. Kurt was evidently tired, pliant and loose against him, nibbling distractedly on the crust of his last slice.</p><p>There was still a lot to do with the apartment, but the worst was over. The furniture was generally where it was supposed to be, the boxes that hadn't been unpacked had been put in the rooms they belonged to, the kitchen was mostly finished and completely functional, and there were clean sheets in Kurt's bed. It was enough to call it a day.</p><p>Rachel glanced at her cell phone and sighed. "I should probably get home. Will has been alone with Lilah all day. He must be ready for a break."</p><p>"We should head out, too," Dani said lazily, from where she was snuggled to her wife's side. "I have to get up early for work tomorrow."</p><p>"And I really want to have some sex with my wife," Santana added, causing everyone else to moan in protest at her honesty. "What? I don't have another excuse."</p><p>After a quick exchange of goodbyes, Kurt walked his friends out, promising to see them later that week for some drinks. He ignored Rachel's warning glare and closed the door behind them before making his way back to his new apartment, where Blaine was picking up the empty pizza boxes.</p><p>"Your friends are really great," he said when he saw Kurt. "Santana is hilarious."</p><p>"Please don't tell her that," Kurt muttered with a groan. "It'll only encourage her."</p><p>"Dani is fantastic, too. She's probably one of the most interesting people I've ever met," Blaine added, as he put the pizza boxes in a trash bag. Kurt leaned against the counter to watch him for a moment. "And Rachel is so talented. When she started singing while she was unpacking the towels and putting them in the closet I was… wow. Her voice is out of this world. It was a pity that Santana made her stop by throwing that empty box at her…"</p><p>Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and quirked an eyebrow at him. "You know, if you liked them so much, you could have gone home with them…" He said in a teasing tone.</p><p>Blaine turned to him and narrowed his eyes. "Do I detect some jealousy?"</p><p>Kurt pretended to be very interested in his own nails, examining them carefully. "I do not know what you speak of…"</p><p>"Have I told you lately…" Blaine started to say, as he came closer, almost pressing Kurt back against the counter, "that you are the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life?"</p><p>This close, Kurt could see every speck of gold in Blaine's eyes, could feel Blaine's chest moving against him as he breathed. He swallowed slowly, his mouth suddenly full of saliva, like he was ready to start drooling. "Really, now?" He muttered, but he didn't sound as playful as he intended to.</p><p>"Yes. And you know what else?" Blaine continued, his lips trailing up Kurt's jaw very slowly, up to his ear. "I couldn't keep my eyes off you all day. All I could think about was being alone with you…"</p><p>"We are definitely alone now…" Kurt said a little breathlessly.</p><p>"Have I ever told you…" Blaine began again, so lowly, a master at teasing, at making Kurt shiver with every word, "that you have the most delicious cock? I've been thinking about sucking it since we arrived…"</p><p>"Oh god, please yes," Kurt practically moaned, hands grabbing at Blaine's shoulders desperately, cock already straining in his pants. "God, Blaine, you can't… <em>you are killing me</em>…"</p><p>Blaine pulled away just enough to look right into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt felt his knees weaken with how incredibly sensual that look was. No one had ever made him feel like this before – before Blaine, sex was fun and hot and amazing, but with Blaine… even the seconds before sex actually happened, before they were actually touching were filled with the kind of tension that made his body buzz. The anticipation was as good as the act in itself, and Kurt felt his head spin a little with it.</p><p>Without prior notice, Blaine dropped to his knees right there on the hard cold kitchen floor, fingers slowly working Kurt's zipper down without looking away from his eyes.</p><p>Blaine ran his hands down Kurt's legs at a very tantalizing pace as he pulled Kurt's pants and briefs down to pool around his ankles. Kurt's cock curved towards his stomach, hard already, and Blaine's gaze shifted towards it at last. He licked his lips, like he was starving for it.</p><p>Kurt's fingers moved to Blaine's hair, tangling in them, tugging slightly to show how much he wanted it, how much he <em>needed</em> it. Blaine didn't make him beg for it – he dropped his mouth open and sucked the head of Kurt's cock in, his tongue a warmth caress around it that made Kurt whine, the sound echoing against the bare kitchen walls. Blaine swallowed hungrily around him, taking more and more of him into his mouth, until Kurt could feel himself reach the back of Blaine's throat. But it didn't make Blaine stop – he swallowed again, breathed through his nose and kept going.</p><p>Kurt wondered if the intense rush of pleasure running through his body wouldn't be enough to kill him.</p><p>Oh, but what a <em>sweet</em> way to go…</p><p>Blaine bobbed his head slowly, tongue working expertly against the underside of Kurt's cock, as one of his hands settled between Kurt's legs, caressing his balls.</p><p>"Oh god, oh god, <em>Blaine</em>," Kurt said, feeling his brain short-circuit. "Please don't stop. Don't…"</p><p>Blaine stopped. He pulled away completely, breathing hard, and trailed his lips over Kurt's hipbones, the inside of his thighs, the soft patch of trimmed hair at the base of his cock. Kurt groaned miserably in protest.</p><p>"You <em>bastard</em>," he whined.</p><p>"Sorry, darling," Blaine said, with a rough chuckle. "I wasn't ready for it to end yet."</p><p>"Who says it has to end?" Kurt said, bucking his hips as if trying to get his cock back into Blaine's mouth. "You can fuck me in every single room of this apartment. We have a lot of christening to do…"</p><p>Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt's thigh and groaned. Kurt could feel Blaine's longs eyelashes brushing his skin. He was about to say something, ask him if he wanted to take this to the bedroom, when Blaine simply opened his mouth and sucked him right back in, not pausing until Kurt's cock was nestled in his throat again, muscles clenching and jumping around his length as Blaine's gag reflex tried to get used to the sudden invasion again.</p><p>Kurt threw his head back, barely avoiding hitting it against the cupboard, as his hips shifted impatiently, thrusting slightly into Blaine's hot mouth. If Blaine's moan of appreciation was anything to go by, he didn't mind one bit.</p><p>It didn't take long at all – the heat seemed to bloom in Kurt's belly, growing more and more intense until it had to explode somehow. Blaine closed his eyes and kept sucking him through it, lapping every inch of his cock, and then letting it fall from his mouth with a popping sound when Kurt stopped shaking with the aftershocks of his orgasm.</p><p>Blaine stood, wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist to keep him from falling to the floor. He kissed Kurt's cheek, a surprisingly sweet gesture after having his mouth fucked raw.</p><p>"You okay?" Blaine asked, his voice rough.</p><p>Kurt worried at the sound – he knew the roughness in Blaine's voice wasn't there only because of what they had just shared together. He ran his fingers down the column of Blaine's throat, tenderly. "Uh-huh. You?"</p><p>"Just perfect," Blaine smiled against his jaw. "But I could really use a shower…"</p><p>Kurt allowed himself a second to regain his breath, keeping Blaine close against him. He could feel the shape of Blaine's arousal pressed against his leg. He licked his lips, testing his own body's urges. He would always want more with Blaine.</p><p>His hand travelled down Blaine's arm until their fingers were intertwined. He squeezed gently, smiled at him with lust-filled eyes. "C'mon."</p><p>He silently guided him through the apartment, navigating through unpacked boxes and furniture that still needed to be placed correctly. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind them, because everything else could wait 'til the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt's hands clenched on his pillow, his hips raised in the air, and a guttural sound escaped his throat.</p><p>Blaine hummed, as he gripped Kurt's ass cheeks gently but firmly, spreading them apart so his tongue could easily slide between them and past the tight ring of muscle surrounding his entrance.</p><p>Kurt whined. "Please, please, <em>please</em>…"</p><p>He could actually feel Blaine smile <em>right there, oh god</em>.</p><p>"I'm going to die," Kurt babbled incoherently. "If you don't touch my cock right now I'm going to die and it will be your fault and you will hate yourself and, oh my god, Blaine, please just touch me…"</p><p>Blaine chuckled – the vibrations seemed to reach the very center of Kurt's body – and finally, <em>finally</em> slid a hand towards his front, so his fingers could wrap around the hot, hard length of Kurt's cock.</p><p>It only took a few strokes. Blaine's tongue kept fucking him steadily and the downright obscene noises he made were driving Kurt absolutely crazy. He spilled all over the sheets, screaming his release into the pillow, and Blaine pulled away at last, sliding up his body, fitting his own cock between the mess in Kurt's ass and rubbing against him, like his lust was some animal he just couldn't control.</p><p>They were silent for a moment after that, panting together in the darkness of the room, feeling the heat radiating from the other's body.</p><p>"We're disgusting," Kurt groaned then, because he had dropped onto the pool of his own come on the sheets, too boneless and spent too really care. "This is the third time I'm going to have to change the sheets this week…"</p><p>"We can stop having sex if you want…" Blaine mumbled, sleepily.</p><p>Kurt snorted because yeah, that wasn't happening. He knew they would have to get up and shower and change the sheets again soon – and probably order some dinner, because they had gone straight to bed as soon as they had entered the apartment and Kurt was <em>starving</em> – but for now, he was happy right here, playing with Blaine's curls.</p><p>"Do you have to work next weekend?" Blaine asked as he nuzzled Kurt's naked shoulder.</p><p>"Only on Friday. I have the Hughes' wedding. Why?" Kurt answered, hooking his feet under Blaine's, seeking some warmth.</p><p>Blaine yawned. "I have a fight on Saturday night. I was hoping you would come?" He looked up at Kurt, big bright hazel eyes settled on him.</p><p>Kurt's hand stilled in his hair. "A fight?"</p><p>"Yeah. It's at the gym. Some of the guys I train are fighting too, but mine is the big event," he shrugged, as if it didn't matter, but Kurt could see the slight blush on his cheeks even in the dark. "We compete against other gyms every now and then…"</p><p>"Oh, I…" Kurt bit his lip. Seeing Blaine getting hit and hitting some other man wasn't exactly in his list of fun things to do on a Saturday night.</p><p>Blaine's face fell. He tried to hide his disappointment, but he didn't succeed. "It's fine if you don't want to. Or if you're busy. I just thought I would ask in case… but it's fine, really."</p><p>Kurt felt immediately bad. He caressed Blaine's cheek and smiled at him. Just because he didn't like – he didn't understand – something, it didn't mean it had to be wrong, right? Boxing had always looked violent, but if it was important to Blaine… shouldn't he be a little more supportive?</p><p>"I would love to go," Kurt said, leaning in for a quick kiss.</p><p>Blaine shook his head. "It's fine, Kurt. I understand. You don't have to go."</p><p>"I want to," Kurt assured him. "I want to be there to cheer on you. I'm sorry if I always seem… you know, a little bit ignorant when it comes to this… I just never understood why someone would enjoy punching someone else and call it a sport…"</p><p>"It's not about hurting people," Blaine said quietly. "Not for me, at least. I know there are guys out there who truly enjoy that part, but I don't… that's not what it does for me. It makes me feel in control. It makes me feel like I'm not… helpless, you know?"</p><p>Kurt nuzzled their noses together. "Okay," he nodded, and Blaine smiled softly at him. "What if we take a shower and then we go down to that little bodega you like so much and get some dinner?"</p><p>Blaine hummed his agreement. "That sounds perfect."</p><p>They walked by the nursery's closed door on the way out of Kurt's bedroom. Kurt pretended not to see it, and told himself he was just waiting for the right time to tell Blaine the truth. It just wasn't tonight.</p><p>He had been telling himself that for weeks now.</p><hr/><p>Later that week, Kurt received a message from Tanya, reminding him that she had a doctor's appointment and he was welcome to join her. Kurt accepted the offer immediately, and then struggled to focus on work for the rest of the week. He wished he could have vented some of his excitement with Blaine but he'd been so busy training, they'd hardly seen each other.</p><p><em>After the fight</em>, Kurt thought. <em>I'll tell him after the fight.</em></p><p>Kurt was so anxious that he arrived at the hospital forty five minutes early, and then simply paced around the waiting room to kill some time. Tanya chuckled when she arrived, leaning against the doorway to watch him.</p><p>"Are you okay?" She asked, startling him.</p><p>"Tanya! Hi!" He exclaimed, crossing the room to get to her. "How are you?"</p><p>She smoothed her hand over her belly, smiling. "We are both okay. You look a little… are you freaking out?" She tilted her head to the side as she regarded him.</p><p>"Me? No, no, I'm fine. Should we take care of the paper work while we wait?" He said, wriggling his hands together.</p><p>Tanya rolled her eyes and grabbed them, squeezing them gently. "It's gonna be fine. Today you're going to get quite a show, and see how active this little boy or girl has been, dancing around on my bladder all the time."</p><p>Kurt beamed at her, excitement finally winning over nerves. He squeezed her hands back. "It's going to be amazing. Come on, let's do this."</p><p>Kurt had come prepared to pay Tanya's medical costs from now on, glad to feel like he was finally doing something a father does, for his baby. He could tell Tanya wasn't very comfortable with it, but he didn't let her argue.</p><p>"Do you have time to get a bite after we're done here?" Tanya said as they returned to the waiting room. "We could chat. It's been a while."</p><p>"I would love that," Kurt replied. Even if he'd had any meetings, he would have cancelled them for her. There was very little he would say no to when it came to this woman. She was giving him the most precious gift, and he wanted to give her the world in return for it.</p><p>They looked at magazines and talked for a while, as they waited for the doctor to call Tanya. She was laughing hysterically at Kurt's appalled face as he stared at some very unflattering maternity clothes when the door to one of the offices opened and Tanya's doctor beckoned them.</p><p>"It's nice to see you again, Tanya," Doctor Collins said as they entered. She shook their hands. "And you are…?"</p><p>"This is Kurt," Tanya introduced with a big smile. "He's the baby's father."</p><p>"I'm adopting the baby. I'm gay, I've never knocked a woman up in my life…" Kurt babbled, nerves overtaking again. Tanya burst out laughing and the doctor bit her lip to keep herself from doing the same. "I mean… god, I'm sorry. I'm ruining this already, aren't I?"</p><p>"He's a little nervous," Tanya excused him sweetly.</p><p>"I can see that," the doctor said understandingly. "But don't worry. We'll just talk a little, see how Tanya has been doing lately, and then we'll do a sonogram, okay?"</p><p>"Okay," Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath.</p><p>The doctor asked some questions that Tanya answered easily – mostly about what she had been eating and how she had been feeling – and then weighed her. Doctor Collins smiled pleasantly as Tanya stepped down from the scale.</p><p>"Everything seems to be going wonderfully," she said and then gestured towards the other side of the office. "Shall we get that sonogram done, then?"</p><p>Kurt helped Tanya onto the examination table. The little screen next to it was dark now, but Kurt could barely look away from it, knowing what would appear on it very soon. Tanya lifted her top to reveal her belly, beautifully dark skin stretched to grow a home for the baby, and the doctor squirted some ultrasound gel onto it, making her wince at the coldness.</p><p>Tanya smiled up at him. "Are you ready?"</p><p>Kurt nodded, and accepted the hand she was offering, but couldn't find the right words to reply.</p><p>His blue eyes were fixed on that dark little screen, where some grey and white shapes began to form soon. He remembered the sonogram picture he had at home, stuck to his corkboard in his office, so he could look at it while he worked. He could see the shape of the baby, but it wasn't as baby-like, still too little. But now… oh, what a difference just a few weeks could make. Kurt could feel his heart in his throat as he started distinguishing every little part of his baby – the little arms and legs, the head. Oh my god, were those the <em>fingers</em>? Tiny, little adorable fingers...</p><p>The baby shifted slightly, one of its arms moved, and Tanya squeezed Kurt's hand almost painfully, bringing him back from his daze.</p><p>"Look at that!" She exclaimed. "It's waving for Daddy!"</p><p>Kurt let out what could only be described as half a sob, half a giggle. He covered his mouth with his free hand and noticed his eyes were starting to fill with tears. It was happening. It was really happening…</p><p>"I can't believe it," he murmured. He couldn't look away. "I can't believe how… how beautiful he or she is already. Oh my god, that's… I can't believe this."</p><p>Doctor Collins grinned at him and winked. "It's about to get better," and she moved in front of the machine for a moment, blocking the view.</p><p>Kurt was about to complain, but then a steady sound filled the room. He couldn't place it at first, busy as he was trying not to yell at the doctor to move away because he wanted to see his baby… and then he realized it was a heartbeat.</p><p>It was the baby's heartbeat.</p><p>It was the most wonderful thing he had ever heard.</p><p>He leaned so he could wrap Tanya in an awkward one-armed hug. He could feel his tears slipping into her crazy black hair, which was tickling his nose, but he didn't want to let go.</p><p>"Thank you," he whispered, more moved than he had ever been. "Thank you so much for this. Thank you."</p><p>Tanya held him back and smiled broadly. She looked at the doctor over his shoulder. "I think he's going to want all this on DVD, please."</p><p>The doctor simply grinned at them and slipped a blank DVD into the machine.</p><hr/><p>Kurt spent that night curled up on the couch, with a bowl of popcorn on his lap, re-watching the sonogram over and over and over again. He recorded it on his phone and sent it to his dad, who called him five minutes later, near tears himself.</p><p>The sound of the baby's heartbeat followed him around all night, even in his dreams.</p><hr/><p>Having Saturdays off was a very rare thing for Kurt. He was used to running around at venues getting the very last details ready for whatever wedding was about to take place. This time, though, he was blessedly free. It would have been a perfect opportunity to drag Blaine into bed and spend a few long, languid hours mapping every little inch of his tanned skin with his eager tongue, but Blaine was preparing for his fight that night – something Kurt was trying very actively not to think about.</p><p>Instead, he filled his day with mundane tasks and errands that had been piling up over the last few weeks. He went grocery shopping and then stopped to get some paint samples for the baby's room, as well as a pile of magazines with ideas on how to decorate it. He wondered if Dior grey was a little too serious for a newborn…</p><p>Once he was home, all the groceries were put away, and the paint samples were stuck to the wall, he took a long shower, letting the hot water run down his back to massage the knots that had formed there during the last week. He craved Blaine's firm touch, always so capable of making him relax, loosen him up. But thinking about him only made him think about the fight he was going to see tonight, and Kurt had to admit that he was nervous.</p><p>He wasn't sure what to expect. The only sports he had ever seen live had been football games, both at high school and college, when Finn was playing at OSU. He had never managed to remain interested in it, and his attention had often drifted to the cheerleading routines or the outfits some people in the audience were wearing. After his father had a heart attack when he was a junior in high school, he mostly focused on stopping his dad from eating junk food at half time. But boxing? What was he supposed to do? Cheer on Blaine and hope he hurt the other guy more than the other guy could hurt him? It just seemed… barbaric, somehow.</p><p>But he didn't want Blaine to be disappointed – he had been nothing but amazing since he had walked into Kurt's life, and he felt like he owed him this. All he had to do was go to this one fight, and then if he didn't like it, he could be honest with Blaine. And if things went just like Kurt expected them to, Blaine would go his own way as soon as he learned about the baby. So Kurt wouldn't have to fake interest in a sport he didn't understand.</p><p>After his shower, he spent some time moisturizing. The past week had been so hectic that he had barely been able to keep up with his usual routine. He went through his closet, trying to decide what to wear. He wanted to look good for Blaine, but he wasn't sure what the dress code was for this kind of thing. A suit was surely out of the question. He ended up choosing one of his favorite pairs of jeans, a red shirt with the sleeves rolled-up to his elbows and a light jacket in case it got cold later.</p><p>By the time he made it to Blaine's gym, there were people everywhere. Blaine's fight was the last one, so the event had already started hours ago. He found a seat to the side, and looked around anxiously. With just one quick glance, he knew he didn't fit in. He wished he had brought a friend – he had a feeling Santana would have enjoyed this, somehow – but there was no point in regretting it now. He sat there by himself, cringing a little at the crude remarks a group of men sitting nearby were making about the girls in bikinis who announced the rounds.</p><p>Kurt distracted himself – especially from the smell of sweat and too much Axe trying to cover it – by texting Rachel, who needed help choosing an outfit for date night with her husband. He rolled his eyes at several of her suggestions, before sending her in the right direction. She was a lot more stylish than she had been back in high school, but there were still days when Kurt couldn't understand the combinations she came up with.</p><p>Just as he was sending her one more text to make sure he chose the black stilettos to go with her dress, a man with a microphone came up onto the stage. Ring. Whatever that thing was called.</p><p>"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the main event!" He said, as the crown roared. "From Gleason's Gym in Brooklyn, weighing 146 pounds… Derek 'the Tiger' Vaughn!"</p><p>A muscular black man stepped onto the ring, making Kurt's eyes bulge out of his skull. He wondered if his nickname had anything to do with his hairdo – short, with a few shaved stripes by the sides of his head. That was who Blaine was fighting tonight? He looked taller than Blaine… and oh, god, look at those arms…</p><p>He definitely didn't like this.</p><p>A good part of the audience showed its appreciation for the boxer, most of them wearing t-shirts with the name of the gym Vaughn belonged to. Kurt tightened his hands on his lap, squeezing his own fingers almost painfully.</p><p>"And from our very own Mendez Gym," the announcer continued, as the crowd grew louder. "Weighing 144 pounds, and two times champion of the Inter-gym tournament… Blaine Anderson!"</p><p>Kurt's heart was in his throat as Blaine appeared. He had a little red robe wrapped around him, a perfect contrast to the other man's white robe. He clapped his gloved hands together and raised his arms in greeting, making the audience scream even more. His eyes swiped over the crowd, like he was searching for something, until they finally settled on Kurt. The huge smile that bloomed on Blaine's face was enough to melt Kurt's insides, and he managed to smile back, even though he was still quite terrified.</p><p>The announcer was talking again, and Blaine's expression changed to one of concentration as he looked at him, but Kurt couldn't understand a single word. Both boxers were removing their robes, and though their difference in weight wasn't that big, Kurt couldn't help feeling like Blaine was about to face a giant.</p><p>When the first round started, Kurt was tempted to cover his eyes with his hands. Blaine and Derek circled each other a few times before Derek threw the first punch, which Blaine avoided easily. He hurried to throw a punch of his own, landing on Derek's right shoulder, but not causing any changes to his posture.</p><p>Kurt tried to make sense of what the people around him were saying – they talked about right hooks and jabs, but to Kurt everything looked the same. He squealed embarrassingly loudly when Derek planted his fist on Blaine's left eye, and the guy sitting next to him turned to look at him as if worried he was having a stroke.</p><p>When the bell announced the end of the round, Kurt sighed in relief and watched as Blaine sat on a little stool at his corner, where someone handed him a bottle of water and spoke in his ear. But the intermission – pause? Break? – was over too quickly, and once again the men were facing each other at the center of the ring, as Kurt grabbed onto his own knees with a painful grip.</p><p>Derek charged in immediately, cornering Blaine against the ropes and barely giving him time to put his arms up to protect himself, let alone hit back. Kurt was breathless, fighting the urge to run towards them and get in the middle, to scream at the top of his lungs – <em>how can you enjoy this? How can anyone enjoy this? This is not a sport, this is </em>violence.</p><p>But Blaine managed to duck and get away, punching Derek on his side as he did. They went at each other viciously now, landing blow after blow. A line of blood was dripping down Blaine's face, making Kurt's stomach churn.</p><p>The second round ended as quickly as it had started. Someone cleaned the cut on Blaine's eyebrow as he drank water greedily. He said something to the man who was helping him, and Kurt tried to read his lips but he couldn't. He wished Blaine would look his way, at least so Kurt wouldn't feel so nauseatingly alone in a place where he didn't belong. At least so he could reassure Kurt that it wasn't as bad as it looked.</p><p>The third round was torture. Both men looked terrible, and Kurt could see the sweat glistening on their bodies. Blaine was relentless – he moved as if he didn't know what exhaustion was. Kurt knew the way those muscles shifted, remembered what they felt like under his palms, hot and close. But he wasn't used to seeing Blaine hurting someone, as everyone around them screamed for blood.</p><p>And then he caught a good look at Blaine's face, which was starting to swell. What he saw there wasn't violence, a raw desire to hurt someone just for the sake of it. He saw concentration. He saw something he had never seen before – it was control and power, mixed with the kind of peace that shouldn't have had a place on a ring. It was as if, while he was standing up there, nothing could touch Blaine. The only thing he had to deal with was the man in front of him, but he had the means to keep him away, to defend himself. He could let go.</p><p>Kurt would never understand the sport, or why people called it a sport. But he could understand that. He could understand Blaine. He could listen to him, watch him, and truly understand why he needed this, why he was passionate about it, why he had made it his life.</p><p>Derek hit steadily at Blaine's stomach – at those rock hard abs Kurt was fascinated with, the ones he loved tracing with his mouth, licking at the lines and curves and hard muscle hiding underneath the warm skin. Blaine stumbled, and Kurt held his breath, but then he regained his balance, and threw a firm punch to Derek's jaw, making him back off. Blaine didn't wait for Derek to recover, he went in again, his fist colliding with his stomach and then with his face, right-left, right-left in quick succession. He didn't even give Derek time to breathe, he just kept going, until Derek lost his footing and fell backwards. Only then did Blaine step back, waiting and watching, always alert.</p><p>But despite his better attempts, Derek didn't manage to get back to his feet before the referee could count to ten. The fight was over, and Blaine had won.</p><p>Kurt was out of his seat before he knew what he was doing, and crossing the smelly gym, pushing through the crowd, right towards the ring. Blaine's arm was being raised in the air in victory, as everyone cheered for him. Blaine's smile was huge, even though it looked a little painful. His eyes were moving through the crowd eagerly, searching and searching…</p><p>Just as his face began to fall, his eyes found Kurt, standing just a few steps away and staring up at him as desperately as Blaine had looked for him. His eye was swollen, his lower lip cracked, and his eyebrow was still bleeding; his body was covered in nasty sweat and his curls were damp and clinging to his forehead. There was a large bruise blooming on his side already, and more were sure to appear in the next couple of hours. But he was still the most beautifully stunning man Kurt had ever seen in his life.</p><p>Someone handed him a trophy – not big or shiny enough to go to all this trouble, Kurt thought as he watched Blaine accept it – and he lifted it in the air as the applause grew louder. He smiled and waved, and then handed the trophy to the guy who had been assisting him through the fight, before he climbed through the ropes and out of the ring, right next to Kurt.</p><p>"You came," he said a little dazedly, as if he couldn't believe Kurt was there.</p><p>"I told you I would," Kurt muttered, as his eyes travelled frantically all over his bruised face, dying to reach out and soothe. "I… are you…"</p><p>Blaine must have seen how unsure and awkward Kurt felt, how much he needed to touch him but didn't dare while surrounded by all these people. "Come on."</p><p>Kurt didn't ask where they were going. He didn't care. He just followed Blaine through the crowd, wincing in sympathy every time someone clapped Blaine on the shoulder to express their congratulations. Soon they were walking down a corridor, away from the noise and the people, through a door at the end.</p><p>Blaine dropped onto a bench, finally looking tired. Kurt glanced around the locker room, still feeling out of place, suddenly overwhelmed with the strong smell that always permeated locker rooms, no matter how clean they were. He closed the door and leaned against it, watching Blaine as he unpeeled the bandages from his hands.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He asked.</p><p>Blaine looked up at him and tried to smile. He cringed as his lip stretched, cracking again. A few drops of blood appeared at the cut. "I'm fine. You should see the other guy," he joked.</p><p>Kurt didn't smile. "That was… hard to watch, I have to admit. But I think I understood a little bit more of you tonight, while you were up there."</p><p>Blaine frowned, looking absolutely pathetic with his swollen eye. "Is that a bad thing?"</p><p>"No, it's not," Kurt said calmly. He finally smiled, a soft kind of smile. "Congratulations, Blaine."</p><p>"Thanks. It might not be a big title, but…" He answered, with a little self-conscious shrug.</p><p>Kurt shook his head and took a few steps forward. "No, it is. You should be proud of yourself." He straddled the bench so he could face Blaine, reaching with tentative hands to touch him. His fingers grazed the bruised skin around his eye, his lip, his stomach. He grinned teasingly. "You look awful."</p><p>"Just what every guy wants to hear…" Blaine teased back, catching Kurt's hand and pressing a small kiss to his fingertips. "Thank you for being here, Kurt."</p><p>"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," Kurt murmured, deciding running his fingers through Blaine's hair was probably the least painful of his options. "But, and don't get me wrong, I'm kind of sick of the smell in this place. I think I'm ready to go."</p><p>Blaine chuckled lowly. "It's okay. I understand. I guess I'll see you tomorrow? Or later this week?"</p><p>"What the hell are you talking about?" Kurt asked, arching an eyebrow. "Do you seriously think I'm going to just abandon you like this? I'm taking you home, Blaine. I just watched you get repeatedly punched by a guy several inches taller than you…"</p><p>"… he wasn't <em>that</em> much taller," Blaine whined under his breath.</p><p>"I'm taking you home and taking care of you," Kurt continued, not paying attention to him. "You can't stop me."</p><p>Blaine blinked up at him, something achingly similar to shock in his face, as if he hadn't been expecting those words. As if he had expected Kurt to just leave him there by himself in a smelly locker room with his face looking like a truck had driven all over it.</p><p>Blaine swallowed, and it seemed a difficult thing to do. His eyes, both the swollen one and the healthy one, fixed on Kurt. He looked completely blown away by the man sitting beside him.</p><p>"The thought didn't even cross my mind," he whispered, amazed.</p><p>He didn't need a big, shiny trophy. Kurt Hummel was better than any prize he could ever win. Blaine accepted his hand, let Kurt pulled him to his feet, and felt like this was a much bigger victory than the one he had reached on the ring.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt's hand was pressed to the small of Blaine's back, gently guiding him into the apartment and turning the light on at the same time. Blaine huffed a little when Kurt assisted him in removing his jacket.</p><p>"Kurt, honey, I didn't have an accident. You don't have to fuss over me like this," he said, half amused, half impatient.</p><p>"You look like you were in one. Do you want me to get you anything to drink?" Kurt asked, as he looked around the apartment. Blaine's place wasn't entirely unfamiliar, but they certainly spent most of their time together at Kurt's.</p><p>"No, it's fine. Thanks. I think I just need a good night's sleep," Blaine answered, running his fingers down Kurt's arm in a soft caress. "Will you stay? Or do you have to go?"</p><p>"I can stay," Kurt murmured, smiling sweetly at him. "Let me help you to bed."</p><p>Blaine sighed in contentment as soon as they were safe under the covers, veiled by the darkness of his bedroom. He tried to shift on his side, but winced. There was a very impressive bruise forming there already. Kurt made a sympathetic sound and hovered over him for a moment, as if making sure he was okay.</p><p>Kurt's blue eyes travelled all over Blaine's face, taking in the swollen eye and cracked lip. He frowned, wishing he could take away all the pain, but knowing this was what Blaine chose. He chose to get on that ring and get hurt – and he had reasons that Kurt was slowly starting to understand.</p><p>"It looks really ugly, doesn't it?" Blaine asked in a whisper, sounding self-conscious for the first time that night.</p><p>Kurt almost leaned in for a reassuring kiss, but he didn't want to cause Blaine any extra pain, so he just pressed his lips to an unharmed spot on his forehead. "You're the most handsome man I have ever seen. With or without those bruises."</p><p>Blaine fell asleep feeling safe, warm and loved.</p><hr/><p>Blaine was one step away from insanity, and he was pretty sure that Kurt was enjoying watching him spiral down into it.</p><p>"<em>Kurt</em>, come on…" Blaine whined, almost pathetically. It had been three days since the fight. "Just one. That's all I'm asking…"</p><p>"No, Blaine," Kurt said, with a teasing smirk that was <em>driving him crazy</em>. "I'm not going to kiss you. Your lip looks like it went through a meat shredder. I'll kiss you when you're healed."</p><p>"That's not true!" Blaine complained stubbornly. "It doesn't look that bad. Just one little kiss. It won't hurt me, I promise."</p><p>Kurt leaned in, sighing deeply. His mouth was just an inch from Blaine's. He could feel the warmth of his breath and the scent of his peppermint toothpaste. Blaine closed his eyes in sweet anticipation.</p><p>"Nope," Kurt breathed against his lips, and then he was gone.</p><p>Blaine groaned, frustrated. "Is this a punishment? Because it feels like it's bordering on torture…"</p><p>Kurt <em>giggled</em>. The bastard.</p><p>Blaine knew when to admit defeat. He leaned back against the couch and crossed his arms over his chest, staring resolutely at the television and not at the tantalizing sway of Kurt's hips as he went back into the kitchen to retrieve their dinner.</p><p>A pair of soft lips pressed against his temple, and the loveliest voice spoke right into his ear. "You have plenty of other spots for me to kiss. I just don't want to cause you any more pain."</p><p>Blaine couldn't fight the smile that appeared on his face, as his eyes met Kurt's bright blue ones. There was a beautiful tingly sensation travelling all through him as he stared at this man – this perfect man who somehow, for reasons Blaine still couldn't understand, was interested in spending time with him, in taking care of him, in kissing him. And god, Blaine really was lucky, when he stopped and thought about it.</p><p>Being in love with Kurt Hummel was like a rollercoaster, and he never wanted the ride to come to a stop.</p><hr/><p>It was unusual for Kurt to be the first one to arrive at the bar for his weekly hangout with the girls. He had miraculously ended with a meeting a lot sooner than expected, and he was ready to relax with a glass of something and a few laughs with his friends.</p><p>He entertained himself texting Blaine while he waited, sipping a glass of white wine. Blaine had gone back to work today, and Kurt couldn't help being worried that he would train too hard too soon. Blaine was quick to reassure him – he knew what he was doing, after all. The fight Kurt had seen hadn't been the first one Blaine had taken part in. He was, by all means, a professional.</p><p>
  <strong>From: Blaine</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Just got home. I went out running with one of the guys, and that was pretty much all I did. I promise I was good.</em>
</p><p>Kurt hummed, happy with the answer.</p><p>
  <strong>From: Blaine</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>And you still owe me a kiss.</em>
</p><p>Kurt had to hide his huge grin behind his hand, because he didn't want the whole bar to see him smiling like a maniac at his phone.</p><p>
  <strong>To: Blaine</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I gave you a very thorough kiss last night.</em>
</p><p>The reply made his phone vibrate only ten seconds later.</p><p>
  <strong>From: Blaine</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>That was a blowjob, Kurt, not a kiss.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Blaine</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn't hear any complaints last night.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Blaine</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>And I am NOT complaining. I encourage you to follow through on your promise to kiss all the other spots you want to kiss. I'm just saying… I miss your kisses, your lips on mine.</em>
</p><p>Kurt swooned. Was it possible that he was swooning when the conversation he was having included the topic of blowjobs? It had to be the wine. Yeah, he was not swooning. He had just had too much wine.</p><p>Damn you, Blaine Anderson.</p><p>"Hi Kurt!" A familiar voice said, making him look up. Rachel was approaching the table, smiling at him widely. He could see Santana and Dani entering the bar at the same time. "Have you been waiting long?"</p><p>"Not really. Twenty minutes or so. How are you?" Kurt asked, and soon his girls were taking the seats all around him and asking the waitress to bring them drinks.</p><p>Conversation always flowed easily. There was a lot to talk about during their weekly hangouts – there were always complaints about work, arguments with spouses, vacation plans that were starting to take form, ideas for future hangouts.</p><p>Santana had finished listing her reasons to eviscerate her boss when Dani patted her hand and turned to Kurt. "So, how's Blaine?"</p><p>With that very simple question, all the attention was on him. Rachel's eyes narrowed like she was a coyote focusing on her prey.</p><p>"Yes, how is Blaine? Is he still in the dark or have you decided to be a mature adult and <em>talk to him</em>?" She said, her tone accusing.</p><p>Kurt groaned in annoyance. "Oh god. You're not my mother, Rachel."</p><p>"I wouldn't have the need to mother you if you weren't being such a child, oh my god," Rachel replied, shaking her head in disbelief. "Does this mean you haven't told him yet?"</p><p>"You know, I rarely side with Berry, but she's right about this," Santana said, swirling her whiskey around the glass. "You're being terribly stubborn about this and it's just stupid."</p><p>"Why won't you tell him?" Dani asked, frowning at him.</p><p>"I don't know, okay?" He said, irritated. He gestured the waitress to bring him another drink. "We're having so much fun together, I just don't want to ruin it. Why make it end so soon when we can still enjoy a little longer?"</p><p>"Why are you treating this as if it wasn't serious?" Rachel insisted, leaning over the table. "Kurt, you're being really thick."</p><p>"I'm not. I'm just being realistic. We have sex, Rachel. That's how this thing started – there was a connection, we went home together, we had sex. That was it. And then he came back for another round, so it's just… you know, practical, to have this," Kurt said, avoiding looking at them. "Why go look for other men to have casual sex with if we can keep this up?"</p><p>"Look, Hummel. I generally believe sex is the reason and cause for everything," Santana said, crossing her arms over the table and looking at him in the eyes with her own dark ones. "Sex makes life better, it gives us purpose, it keeps us from going insane and killing people. So yes, I know you're not lying when you say that's why you two started this…"</p><p>"Thank you!" Kurt said, throwing his arms in the air, grateful.</p><p>"But that's not what this is about anymore," Santana continued, without paying attention to him. "That guy is crazy about you. He's in love with you. So if you don't come clean about the baby, you're really going to hurt him. I'm not saying you have to marry the guy and be a happy little family. But if you aren't serious about it, if the only thing you want from him is to have him naked in your bed… then just put an end to this now."</p><p>Kurt was silent after that. It was very rare to hear Santana talk like that.</p><p>"I know you've had some shitty relationships, Kurt. But he's not one of those assholes who would just dump you when they got bored, who wouldn't commit, who couldn't understand you. Blaine cares about you. So stop waiting for him to walk away like all the others did, because I don't think he's going anywhere," Santana said, softly. "Not unless you give him a really good reason to."</p><p>The words sat heavy in Kurt's stomach for the rest of the evening. He didn't want the girls to be right. They <em>couldn't</em> be right…</p><p>Could they?</p><hr/><p>Kurt looked down at his wristwatch – a tasteful Hugo Boss watch with a black leather strap, thank you very much – and realized he had almost two hours to kill. One of his clients had just called him to cancel a meeting, not bothering to let him know until Kurt was halfway to the coffee shop where they had agreed to meet and discuss menus and guest lists.</p><p>He took a glance around and it only took him a minute to realize he was a couple blocks away from Blaine's gym. He didn't even think about it before heading in that direction – maybe Blaine would like to take a little break for lunch and that kiss Kurt had promised to give him.</p><p>The scent of sweat and testosterone hit Kurt's nostrils as soon as he stepped into the gym. It looked a lot bigger than when he had been there for the fight, without the chairs for the public. Now that Kurt wasn't nervous about Blaine being punched to death, he found more details about it, especially the wall near the entrance, with pictures of all the boxers and competitions that had passed through Mendez Gym. It didn't take long for Kurt to find Blaine – there were at least ten pictures of him, some several years old. He could see how his body had evolved, muscles growing, chest and shoulders widening…</p><p>"Can I help you?" A voice behind him said, startling him.</p><p>Kurt turned around and found a man with tanned skin and dark eyes. His hair was so short he was almost bald, and his muscled arms were crossed over his chest, as he looked Kurt up and down.</p><p>Kurt gulped. Yeah, he was still very out of place here.</p><p>"Oh, hi. I'm looking for Blaine? Blaine Anderson."</p><p>"Kurt?" Blaine's voice said, coming from a few steps behind the man. Kurt looked over his shoulder and instantly smiled at the sight of him. Blaine smiled back. "Hi! What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I was just in the neighborhood and I was wondering if you had time to have lunch with me? It's okay if you're busy, though…" Kurt replied, eyeing the man with some reservation.</p><p>"No, that sounds great!" Blaine immediately agreed. He looked a lot better – his eye wasn't swollen anymore, the crack on his lip had practically vanished, and except for a few bruises still taking their sweet time disappearing, he was almost back to his usual charming and attractive self. "Oh, how rude of me. Kurt, this is Carlos Mendez. He's the gym's owner," Blaine said. Kurt offered his hand for the other man to shake. "Carlos, this is my boyfriend, Kurt."</p><p>Kurt almost froze mid-handshake. The word sounded so natural on Blaine's lips, but it sent a cold shiver down Kurt's spine, like he had just been pushed into a pool full of iced water. With just that one word, two syllables, Kurt felt like everything his friends had been telling him was slapping him on the face, making him stop refusing to see the truth in front of him.</p><p>He had been so blind, so stubborn. Had he and Blaine ever been on the same page? Or had he been kidding himself from the very beginning?</p><p>Blaine leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, not noticing the way Kurt's world had started falling apart around him. "Let me get my wallet and we can go."</p><p>He had to put a stop to this. It was time to tell the truth.</p><hr/><p>Kurt planned to talk to Blaine on Friday night, when they agreed to have dinner at Blaine's apartment. But as Kurt was taking a deep breath to gather courage and start talking, Blaine came up behind him and sucked on his pulse point, making Kurt's knees go weak.</p><p>He couldn't remember what he was supposed to tell Blaine after that.</p><p>But on Saturday morning, he woke up with a heavy feeling in his stomach, a knot forming there that wouldn't loosen up, and he knew he had to stop getting distracted. Blaine was sleeping next to him, blissfully naked and peaceful, so Kurt slipped out of bed, put on his underwear and a t-shirt, and headed to the kitchen. All serious conversations were easier when there was coffee involved.</p><p>By the time Blaine stepped into the kitchen, sleepy and with a mess of curls on his head, Kurt had a fresh pot of coffee and some scrambled eggs almost ready. Blaine pressed himself against Kurt's back and hid his face on his shoulder, breathing deeply as if there was nothing like the scent of Kurt's skin in the morning.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>"Hey you," he mumbled.</p><p>"Good morning. These are almost ready. Why don't you take a seat?" Kurt said, because he honestly couldn't think with Blaine against him like that.</p><p>"Thanks, honey. I have some whole wheat bread, do you want toast?" Blaine asked as he opened a cabinet and grabbed the bag of bread.</p><p>"Yeah, sure," Kurt replied distractedly.</p><p>They sat at the kitchen table with their coffee, their toast, their scrambled eggs, and Kurt's inner freak out. How do you tell the guy you've been sleeping with that you're not, in fact dating? And that he probably doesn't want to date you anyway because you have a baby on the way that you totally neglected to mention in the past few months?</p><p>"What do you say if we catch a movie later? There's a new one I've heard it's really good…" Blaine said after taking a good sip of coffee.</p><p>"Yeah," Kurt answered, not really sure what he was agreeing to. He cleared his throat and his fingers tightened around his cup of coffee. "Actually… there was something I needed to talk to…"</p><p>There was a knock at the door. Kurt froze mid-sentence and Blaine glanced at the door with his mouth full of eggs and toast. Kurt would never admit just how relieved he was for the interruption. He practically flew out of his seat to get to the door.</p><p>"I'll get it!"</p><p>Kurt didn't even stop to think that he was in his underwear before he pulled the door opened. He was just too happy to get to delay the conversation a little bit more. But when he saw who was there, his eyes widened, and he wished he had at least put on a pair of sweatpants when he got out of bed.</p><p>"Cooper… hi," he said, and he was sure his cheeks were bright red.</p><p>Cooper's face lit up in surprise and a huge smile followed right after. "Kurt! What a surprise finding you here!" He looked down at what Kurt was wearing, and he seemed so ridiculously happy that Kurt was tempted to shut the door on his face.</p><p>"Yeah, uh… well, Blaine and I…" Kurt trailed off, not knowing where he was going with that. He decided avoiding the topic was probably the best tactic at the moment. "How's Michelle doing?"</p><p>"Splendid, beautiful, amazing…" Cooper replied, still grinning like an idiot. "What about <em>you</em>, Kurt? How are <em>you</em>?"</p><p>Before Kurt could come up with an appropriate reply, Blaine appeared behind him. His face was unreadable, but there was something hard in his eyes that Kurt didn't really like.</p><p>"What are you doing here, Cooper?" Blaine asked in a cold voice.</p><p>Cooper's smile hesitated, but stayed on his face. "Just dropping by to see my favorite brother. It's been a while," he said, with a shrug. He entered the apartment without waiting for the other two to invite him in.</p><p>Kurt, feeling too awkward to stay, pressed his hand against Blaine's arm in silent support. "I'm gonna go get dressed."</p><p>He slipped out of the room before anyone could stop him, and softly closed the door behind him. He hadn't expected his attempt at a confession to get so derailed.</p><p>He took his time locating his clothes and putting them in. Then he stretched the blankets on Blaine's bed and folded the t-shirt he had borrowed, placing it on the dresser. When he knew he couldn't find more excuses to avoid coming back out, he took a deep breath and left the bedroom.</p><p>Cooper was leaning against the kitchen counter, talking non-stop, as Blaine simply stood in the middle of the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest tightly and mouth set in a firm line.</p><p>"… but it was a great honeymoon. Michelle loved every minute of it," Cooper was saying. He smiled at Kurt when he saw him, clearly glad that he was there, since Blaine was a very uncooperative conversation partner. "It's so great that you guys met! Was it at the wedding? I was totally thinking about introducing you guys."</p><p>"I'm sure you were," Kurt said, not sure what else was there to say. "And yes, it was at the wedding. We…"</p><p>"You still haven't really answered my question, Cooper," Blaine interrupted bluntly. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>Kurt thought that Cooper was a very brave or a very stupid man for looking at Blaine with that huge grin on his face, like he couldn't detect the upset tone in his voice.</p><p>"Well, we haven't talked in a while…" Cooper replied, as if it was obvious. "And I thought it would be nice to catch up. You still haven't properly met Michelle. She would love to have you over for dinner. Both of you, actually!"</p><p>"That's really sweet, Cooper, but…" Kurt began to say, trying to find a way out of this situation.</p><p>"And you two should totally come see my show!" Cooper exclaimed, like it was the most brilliant idea ever. "It's amazing, and there's a lot of rumors that I'll be getting a Tony nomination for this one. Blaine hasn't seen it yet! It's a really great play, I…"</p><p>Something snapped inside of Blaine. Kurt should have seen it coming, should have noticed it in the way he clenched and unclenched his fists, in the way his jaw went taut with tension. But even if he had noticed it, Kurt wouldn't have been able to stop Blaine, who moved towards Cooper with the strength of a wrecking ball ready to tear him apart.</p><p>Cooper swayed back with the force of Blaine's punch, hitting the back of his head with the kitchen cabinet. The fist had landed on his cheekbone, and Cooper cried out in pain as soon as he felt it. Kurt was startled by it – even though he knew their relationship wasn't the best one, he wasn't expecting Blaine to punch his brother in the face like that.</p><p>"Blaine, no!" Kurt exclaimed when he saw him put his arm back as if to swing at Cooper again. He moved forward quickly and placed his hand on Blaine's elbow to stop him. "What the hell are you doing?"</p><p>"Get the fuck out of my house," Blaine murmured in a low, menacing voice. His eyes were fire, set on Cooper. "Now."</p><p>"Blaine, Squirt, I…" Cooper said, as his own eyes filled with tears and he held a hand to where Blaine had hit him.</p><p>"I'm not going to say it again, Cooper."</p><p>Kurt hurried to put himself between the brothers, grabbing Cooper's arm and pulling him towards the door. "Come on, Cooper. Let me help you out…"</p><p>"But, I…" Cooper mumbled, and looked over his shoulder at his brother as Kurt made him move. Blaine was stiff, his back to them, breathing heavily. "Kurt, I don't…"</p><p>"Are you okay?" Kurt asked softly. There was a purpling bruise already forming on his handsome face. "Will you be okay to get home on your own?"</p><p>"Yes, I'm fine, it's just…" Cooper blinked, and it seemed like he was considering pushing past Kurt and walking back to his brother.</p><p>"Leave him," Kurt said. "Just go."</p><p>Cooper nodded reluctantly. Once Kurt opened the front door, he walked down the hallway and out of their sight without another word, but Kurt could see how much every step away from Blaine cost him.</p><p>There were so many things Kurt didn't understand.</p><p>And it looked like Blaine was one of them, after all.</p><p>Kurt stood very still by the door once it was closed and they were alone again. He glanced towards the kitchen and saw Blaine running his hands down his face and breathing deeply, as if trying to regain control. The conversation they had been about to have was the farthest thing from Kurt's mind right now. He realized he couldn't talk to Blaine – not now, not like this.</p><p>He walked towards the couch, where he had dropped his satchel the previous night, and grabbed it. Blaine's eyes snapped to him when he did.</p><p>"Kurt…" his voice was pleading, pained, but Kurt couldn't even look at him now.</p><p>"I should go." Kurt headed for the door, as every emotion inside of him swirled in a confusing storm.</p><p>"No, please," Blaine said, and stepped between him and the exit. "Please, hear me out…"</p><p>"I don't think there's a lot to say right now, Blaine. I really need to go," Kurt replied, hands tightening on the strap of his bag. He finally lifted his eyes to meet Blaine's. "Let me go."</p><p>He would have sworn Blaine's lower lip trembled slightly. "I would never…"</p><p>"I have to go," Kurt interrupted, as his chest tightened with the need to cry.</p><p>Blaine looked away, and he seemed embarrassed. He moved away from the door, letting Kurt open it and slip through it to get out of the apartment. Kurt didn't look back, didn't know if Blaine was watching him go or not.</p><p>There might not be need to tell the truth, after all, Kurt realized. Maybe things were already broken beyond repair.</p><p>Maybe this was the end he had been waiting for.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Is anything wrong? Are those not the flowers we ordered? Is my wedding going to be a disaster?"</p><p>Kurt snapped out of his daze when he heard the bride's frantic and terrified voice, and he realized he had been glaring at a perfectly lovely bouquet of peonies.</p><p>"Oh! No, no, relax, Sara! Everything's perfect. Nothing's wrong. Go finish putting your make up on and I'll be right there to help you with whatever you need!" He exclaimed, trying to sound optimistic and energetic.</p><p>What Kurt Hummel really wanted, as he stood there with his clipboard and knowing he still had a very long day ahead of himself, was to go home, crack open a bottle of wine and put on his pajamas.</p><p>If anyone asked, Kurt would vehemently deny that what he wanted was a pity party, but oh, even the proudest, most dignified man needed one every now and then. No one needed to know.</p><p>He hadn't seen Blaine since he had walked out of his apartment the day before. Blaine had texted him only once last night, to say he was sorry and to wish him a good night, but had been very silent since then. Kurt hadn't replied, and wasn't sure why he wouldn't just text or call Blaine and tell him that everything was fine, but he thought the best was to go their separate ways. Wasn't that the right thing to do? Kurt was a grown man, after all. There was nothing to be ashamed of – it wouldn't be the first or the last <em>relationship</em> he put an end to. He and Blaine hadn't even been <em>that</em> serious, right?</p><p>Then why had Blaine seemed to think they were?</p><p>Everything had turned too confusing and complicated in a very short time, and Kurt wasn't sure he had time for confusing and complicated at the moment.</p><p>He shook his head and forced himself to focus. He was working, and nothing ever got between Kurt Hummel and a wedding. He was going to make this a perfect day for Sara and Logan, and that was that. He would take care of his own disastrous love life later.</p><p>He forced himself to push Blaine far away from his mind, and didn't stop to think why if Blaine didn't mean to him as much as he seemed to mean to Blaine, Kurt still couldn't stop thinking about him…</p><hr/><p>By the time Kurt got out of the taxi in front of his building that night, he was tired, jaded, and ready to not talk to anyone or see anyone until he absolutely had to. He was closer and closer to his pajamas and his bottle of wine, and maybe he could find some incredibly stupid reality show on TV that would take his mind off everything else.</p><p>It kinda sounded like paradise.</p><p>He wasn't expecting to get out of the elevator at his floor and find Blaine sitting on the hallway floor, with his back against Kurt's door, and playing with his phone. There was a bouquet of roses next to him and a box from Kurt's favorite bakery. Kurt didn't need to open it to know there was a cheesecake inside.</p><p>Blaine looked up when he heard the elevator, and immediately shoved his phone into his pocket and hurried to stand up, gathering his peace offerings and watching Kurt with wide, worried hazel eyes.</p><p>Kurt wished he wasn't so damn attractive.</p><p>"Hi," Blaine said quietly, almost shyly. He cleared his throat.</p><p>Kurt took a deep breath and looked for his keys in his bag, walking straight to his door. "What are you doing here, Blaine?"</p><p>Blaine blinked, as if he hadn't expected Kurt to act like that. "I… I was hoping we could talk? I'm really sorry about what happened at my apartment. I wish I could turn back time, but…"</p><p>Kurt got the door opened and hesitated. He really didn't want to invite Blaine in – not after such a long day, not when he was so exhausted and didn't know if he could keep his defenses up. "Look, I…"</p><p>"Please," Blaine interrupted, sounding slightly desperate. "I just want to explain. I don't want things to just end like this, Kurt. It's such an ugly ending to something so beautiful…"</p><p><em>Damn you Blaine Anderson, and your fucking swoon-worthy words</em>.</p><p>"Fine," he agreed, not exactly willingly. He moved aside to let Blaine into the apartment, and walked into the living room, as he dropped his bag and work stuff over one of the chairs. He was in no mood to be organized right now.</p><p>Blaine cleared his throat again and extended the flowers and the bakery box to him, looking guilty and uncomfortable. "These are for you."</p><p>Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, before he accepted them. "You really didn't have to."</p><p>"Flowers are our thing, remember?" Blaine said with a soft smile, and Kurt felt his own heart beating wildly in his chest.</p><p>Maybe that had been his first mistake – hadn't he encouraged Blaine when he agreed to having a <em>thing</em> with him? He had been so sure that Blaine falling in love with him was such an impossibility that he hadn't worried about thinking what he would do if Blaine wanted to <em>stay</em>, instead of running away like everyone else.</p><p>Why was <em>staying</em> always the most impossible thing Kurt could think of?</p><p>Why was love always the one impossible thing Kurt couldn't imagine having?</p><p>God, why was he thinking about love? He was supposed to be putting an end to this.</p><p>"Thank you, Blaine, but I…" Kurt accepted the gifts, and sighed, letting himself drop onto the couch and putting both the flowers and the cake away carefully.</p><p>"I'm sorry about punching Cooper," Blaine said, sitting next to him and obviously wanting to reach out for him. He resisted, though, and Kurt was grateful – he could never think clearly when Blaine touched him. "I mean… it's not like he never deserves it, but… it was wrong. I know that. I… tend to overreact when he's around. I have a zero Cooper-tolerance level. He just… gets on my nerves, I think."</p><p>"I understand that," Kurt said, doing his best not to get lost into Blaine's pleading gaze. "And I understand that you have a very complicated history with Cooper. It's none of my business, Blaine, really, but I just… I don't think it's what I need to be around right now."</p><p>It was a horrible excuse and he knew it.</p><p>Blaine frowned. "Did I…?" He stopped, and moved closer, just an inch or two, but still didn't touch Kurt. "Are you scared that I would ever hit you, Kurt? Because I swear… I would never. I care about you too much. You're the most wonderful thing that I have ever had and I don't ever want to do anything to ruin…"</p><p>"I just don't think we're right for each other," Kurt hurried to say, needing Blaine to stop talking, because every single word felt like too much. "It was fun, Blaine, but…"</p><p>Blaine's face was suddenly contorted with hurt. He looked away, needing a second to compose himself before he could speak. "What do you mean? Everything was perfect until Cooper arrived. We have fun. We are great together. Kurt… I thought I made you happy…"</p><p>"I'm afraid we're not on the same page. We want different things, I…" Kurt had never thought talking could be such a difficult thing to do, but he had never counted on having to say these things to Blaine. His friends had been right – he was breaking Blaine's heart. Blaine deserved better. "Blaine, I'm sorry…"</p><p>Blaine shook his head and a sad smile appeared on his lips. "No, Kurt. I'm the one who's sorry. You're just too nice to tell me I'm too fucked up and I'm making you uncomfortable. You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come…" He stood up abruptly and brushed his hands down his thighs. "For what it's worth… thank you. I had an amazing time with you."</p><p>Kurt bit his lip. His heart was asking him to stop Blaine, and his brain was telling him it was better this way. He didn't know who to listen to. "Blaine…"</p><p>"You don't have to walk me out." Blaine headed to the door. Kurt saw him clench and unclench his fists, and knew Blaine was stressed – he always did that when he was stressed. He turned around and faced Kurt one last time before walking out of the apartment. "I'm really sorry, Kurt."</p><p>Kurt listened to his brain. He simply nodded and let Blaine go. He stared at the bouquet of flowers and the box of cheesecake for a few minutes, numb, after the door had quietly clicked closed.</p><p>He told himself he had done the right thing, and ignored the desperate cries of his heart asking him to run after Blaine.</p><p>He was letting the best thing that had ever happened to him walk away and his heart knew it – but Kurt had always been a little slow when it came to the truly important things in life and hadn't realized it yet.</p><p>After a while, he forced himself to stand up and go find his pajamas. That wine wasn't going to drink itself, after all…</p><hr/><p>The water in the shower could have been ice-cold and Blaine wouldn't have noticed. He just stood under the spray, closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the tiles. He wasn't going to cry. He knew what being heartbroken was like, he should have known Kurt wouldn't look past all his shit and stay. He should have known Kurt would sooner or later see that Blaine would never be enough. His life had been a series of disappointments, why had he believed Kurt would be any different?</p><p>Because Blaine needed to believe there was something else, something beyond the pain, worth waiting for. Something worth living for.</p><p>His hands curled up in fists and pressed firmly against the damp wall. He kept his eyes closed and focused.</p><p>His breath was shaky when he parted his lips and let the words come out: "<em>Not a day goes by, not a single day… but you're somewhere a part of my life</em>." His voice sounded cracked, choked, as he sang. His fists clenched even tighter and he kept going. "<em>And it looks like you'll stay. As the days go by, I keep thinking, 'when does it end? Where 's the day I'll have started forgetting?' But I just go on thinking and sweating, and cursing and crying</em>," he pushed through it, even though his voice echoed dissonant against the bathroom walls. He didn't notice the tears sliding down his cheeks – they mixed with the shower spray easily. "<em>And turning and reaching, and waking and dying…</em>"</p><p>He reached the last note, and his voice reached its limit. Blaine punched the wall in frustration, and tried again, stubbornly. He had to do it. He needed to do it. He couldn't let go of this one thing – he had had to let go of so much, and he couldn't understand <em>why</em>…</p><p>Blaine's voice was rough when he tried to sing the same words again. He forced himself to start again, and again, and again, but he only ended up feeling more pain each time. He finally let himself fall down onto the shower floor, with the water pouring over him, as a painful sob ripped through his lips.</p><p>When was he going to learn that life was nothing but unfair and disappointing?</p><hr/><p>Rachel opened the door with a bright smile and let Kurt into her apartment.</p><p>"Hi, Kurt! So glad you could make it. Come on in, the girls are already here!" She said. Once Kurt was inside and removing his jacket, she peeked into the hallway, frowning. "Where's Blaine? Did I forget to tell you to invite him? I was sure I told you…"</p><p>"Yes, you did tell me," Kurt replied in a monotone, walking further into the apartment, and stopping at Lilah's playpen, where she was entertaining herself with a fabric book. "Hi cutie!" He exclaimed, giving her the first authentic smile he had been capable of in days. She beamed up at him and he reached into the playpen to tickle her belly.</p><p>Rachel stood a few steps behind him, watching him with her arms crossed over her chest, visibly concerned. "Kurt? Is everything okay?"</p><p>"Of course. Just tired. I had a busy week," Kurt answered, straightening up and clearing his throat. Rachel arched an eyebrow at him, and waited. She knew him too well. Kurt should have known lying to her would be near to impossible. "Fine. I'm not seeing Blaine anymore. We… broke up, I guess it's the right term."</p><p>Rachel sighed sadly, but she didn't seem surprised at the news. "What happened? He didn't like the baby news?"</p><p>"I never even got to tell him," Kurt said, leaning against the couch and doing his best to sound indifferent. "We had a bit of a disagreement about something else and I just… it was the right time to put an end to this…"</p><p>"Wait a second, wait…" A voice behind them said, and Kurt turned to see Santana at the kitchen doorway. "Are you telling me you broke up with him, <em>you fucking brainless asshole</em>?"</p><p>"Santana!" Rachel exclaimed, scandalized. "Language! Lilah's right there!"</p><p>Santana moved closer, her ten inch heels clicking rhythmically against the hardwood floor, until she was next to the playpen. She crouched and pouted at the little girl. "Aw, I'm sorry, Lilah," she cooed. "Auntie Tana didn't mean to scare you. But here's one thing you need to know, honey: your uncle Kurt is a goddamn idiot and if he doesn't get his head out of his ass, then Auntie Tana will have to pull it out herself…"</p><p>Kurt grabbed her arm and made her stand, impatient. "Can you stop?"</p><p>"I cannot believe you sometimes, Hummel," Santana said, closing her eyes in annoyance. "Why do you insist on being such an imbecile all the time?"</p><p>"I did what I had to do…" Kurt said defensively.</p><p>Dani appeared, then, frowning, probably wondering what her friends and wife were up to. "What's going on here?"</p><p>"Oh nothing, baby. Just the usual – Kurt is doing a wonderful job of ruining his own life," Santana muttered angrily.</p><p>"Oh no, Kurt…" Dani sighed. "What happened?"</p><p>By now Kurt felt like a little boy who had been scolded in front of his kindergarten friends. There was a knot forming in his throat and he just wanted this awful week to <em>end</em>. "I broke up with Blaine and I let him believe that it was because he's too fucked up. Is that what you wanted to know?" He practically screamed, feeling caged. His eyes filled with tears that he refused to cry. "Can we eat now? I'm starving, and I was promised dinner, not a fucking interrogation."</p><p>Even Lilah was frozen in her playpen, staring at him. Rachel, Santana and Dani were standing there, gaping at him in disbelief. Kurt looked furious, uncomfortable and infinitely sad – they could see right through him. He wanted Blaine but he was too stubborn and blind to admit it.</p><p>"Uhm, sure…" Rachel muttered, awkwardly. "I'll go see if Will is done with the appetizers…"</p><p>Kurt turned away from the other two as Rachel went into the kitchen. He walked towards the window and stared at the eternal brightness of New York, but somehow the city looked darker tonight.</p><hr/><p>Never before had Kurt welcomed a trip to Ohio as much as he did then. It seemed to arrive at the perfect time. He knew he could have taken care of the work he needed to do for Tina's wedding from New York easily, but he suddenly had the strong urge to see his father, and this was a very good excuse to take some time off the city.</p><p>Burt was waiting for him at the airport and, as usual, smiled brightly upon seeing his son, and pulled him into a good hug. Kurt held onto him tightly, buried his face in the crook of his father's neck, and inhaled the familiar scent of his skin and his laundry detergent. He felt home already.</p><p>He must have held on a little longer than normal, because Burt scrutinized his face carefully when they finally pulled away, but didn't say anything about it. "Need help with your bags? You always pack too much, kiddo."</p><p>"I'm fine, Dad, thanks," he answered with a little smile, as he followed him towards the car.</p><p>It wasn't until later that night, once Carole had kissed the top of Burt's head and Kurt's cheek goodnight and disappeared upstairs, when Burt finally decided to make a comment on it. He switched the television off, and turned to glance at Kurt, who was lying on the couch next to him, with a quilt wrapped around him like a cocoon. He looked jaded, older. It had been a very long time since Burt had seen him like that.</p><p>"Everything okay, kiddo?"</p><p>Kurt sighed, as if he had been expecting the question. "How long have you been waiting to ask that?"</p><p>"A couple of weeks, at least," Burt replied, and shrugged when Kurt arched an eyebrow at him in surprise. "What? You think I don't notice when you aren't okay just because I'm talking to you on the phone instead of face to face? I'm your dad, Kurt. I always notice."</p><p>Kurt grinned, but there wasn't anything happy about it, and the gesture fell from his face soon. "I guess you're right."</p><p>"Is it the baby? Are you worried about what's going to happen when it arrives? Are you having second thoughts?" Burt asked, leaning closer, resting his elbows on his knees.</p><p>"No, of course not," Kurt said immediately. "I mean… of course I'm a bit nervous. But it's not that."</p><p>"Is it work? Or the girls? Has Santana given you any trouble? I swear, I never understood how you two haven't murdered each other yet…" Burt commented, shaking his head.</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes. "No, Dad. That's all fine, all things considering."</p><p>"So, what is it?"</p><p>Kurt sat up, tightened the blanket around himself, and stared at the black screen of the television for a moment, as if looking for the right words. "It's… I had sort of a break up a couple of weeks ago."</p><p>"Really? I didn't know you were seeing anyone…" Burt muttered, visibly surprised. Kurt knew he could tell his father anything, and they were very open with each other. It was weird not knowing about something happening in Kurt's life.</p><p>"Yeah, well… it wasn't supposed to be serious," Kurt said, looking down at his own hands and playing with the edge of the blanket. "I mean, things are complicated, with the baby on the way and everything… I just wanted to have fun with someone for a while and… I don't know. It didn't work out."</p><p>"You said it wasn't supposed to be serious. I imagine it got serious anyway?" Burt guessed, getting up to change seats and move to the couch next to his kid.</p><p>"I think he thought it was more serious than I wanted it to be. I'm pretty sure I broke his heart in the process and… he's such a great guy, Dad. He didn't deserve it," Kurt sighed, frustrated. "Why am I so incompetent when it comes to guys? I'm not a kid anymore…"</p><p>"You're not incompetent, Kurt," Burt chuckled, and he would have ran his hand through Kurt's hair to lighten up the mood if he wasn't so scare to get his fingers bitten off because of it. "Love's messy. Hell, you don't even have to be in love for a relationship to be messy. It's hard work, it's complicated, it almost always ends up in disaster…"</p><p>"You're not comforting me a lot here, Dad," Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"I'm getting there," Burt nudged him with his shoulder playfully. "What I'm trying to say is… you're awfully easy to love, Kurt. I can't blame that guy, whoever he is, for wanting things to be serious between you two. But if you don't feel the same…" He probably saw something in Kurt's face that made him stop, because his eyebrows shot up, almost disappearing under his baseball hat. "Wait, you <em>do</em> feel the same? Then why did you…?"</p><p>"I didn't say that," Kurt said quickly – too quickly. "Blaine was… is… a pretty perfect guy. He's funny, generous, romantic, handsome, and so, so brave… but it's just not the right time for me to have a serious relationship, Dad."</p><p>"Because you're going to be a father? Kurt, having a kid doesn't mean all your other roles get cancelled, too," Burt frowned as he looked at his son. "You'll be a dad, a wedding planner, a friend, a son, and a man, all at the same time, and so much more than that, too. If you think this guy's worth it… don't let him go just because you have some weird idea about what being a parent is. You're a person, Kurt, not a box. There are so many more sides of you."</p><p>Kurt bit his lip, and stared at a random point on the wall, deep in thought. He finally closed his eyes and rubbed them tiredly. "I know you're probably right. It's just… that doesn't mean Blaine was the one. There are so many other things for me to focus on and I… he'll be okay, I'm sure. He'll forget about me…"</p><p>Even saying the words had a bitter taste in his mouth. Blaine didn't forget – he didn't let anything go. He held on to everything – good, bad, and everything in between – for years and years. Hadn't his troubles with his family proven that to Kurt already?</p><p>Burt chuckled again, and clasped a hand on his son's shoulder. He stood up, ready to head up to bed. "I don't think you understand just how unforgettable you can be, Kurt."</p><p>Kurt sat there in the dimmed living room in his old house in Ohio for what seemed like hours and hours, thinking. His father always knew how to say the right thing that would keep Kurt up all night, wondering if he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life.</p><hr/><p>Staying a week with his family gave Kurt enough energy to face the franticness of the city once again. He and Tina had gotten a lot done for the wedding, Carole had fed him like he was a scrawny teenager in need of a good meal, and his father had hugged him enough to last him 'til Christmas.</p><p>It wasn't until he arrived in New York, and walked through the crowded airport, passing by happy couples that met again after being apart, and blissful children running into their parents arms, and groups of friends squealing cheerfully at being together again, that he felt terribly, irrevocably alone.</p><p>This time, Blaine wasn't there waiting for him with a bouquet of flowers and an irresistible smile. Kurt simply dragged his suitcase behind him towards the exit, and told himself there was no one to blame for that but himself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song featured in this chapter is from Merrily We Roll Along, by Sondheim.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the past month, Blaine had basically allowed habits to make him move through his daily routine – he would get up, have a quick breakfast and head to the gym to train, work with the guys, and then go back home at the end of the day, spent and sweaty, to watch some mindless TV and eat before heading to bed. It was a rinse-and-repeat situation, endless, monotonous, boring.</p><p>It was the only way Blaine knew how to go on.</p><p>He tried not to think too much. It was easier when his mind was blank and he simply focused on what was in front of him. Thinking about Kurt only made him aware of the painful, gaping hole in his chest, where his heart used to be.</p><p>He had been such a fool – why had he thought things would be different this time? Nothing ever was. Blaine's life had been leaning towards hell since he was fourteen years old. Why had he thought that Kurt would grab his hand and take him to paradise at last?</p><p>It was a little past noon when Blaine walked into the gym. The familiar scent of sweat and too much deodorant greeted him like an old friend. He had been out running through the park with one of his guys, and he was back just in time to train with a new young boy who had joined the gym recently.</p><p>Tony was already there, standing near the ring and watching two of the guys spar. Blaine smiled when he saw his eager gaze. Tony had arrived at the gym looking like a tiny scarecrow, and he was slowly but surely filling his own muscles, standing taller. He was only eighteen years old, fresh from Arizona for college, and at first Blaine had thought he was too gentle to get into boxing. But then Tony proved him wrong, and Blaine took him under his wing.</p><p>"Hey Tony," he said, clasping a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"Hi, Blaine!" He exclaimed enthusiastically. "What are we going to do today?"</p><p>"Let's start with some weightlifting," Blaine instructed, guiding him to the opposite side of the gym. "Let's warm up, workout a little, and then we'll spar when the ring is vacant."</p><p>They worked through their usual warm-up routine. As soon as they moved towards the machines, Blaine instructed Tony to start with the bench press, and he situated in the one next to his, so he could accompany Tony during the exercises. Blaine's body groaned in protest for a moment – he had been pushing himself way too hard lately, but it was a good distraction.</p><p>By the time they had done a good round of all the strength training equipment, Blaine told Tony to head over to the ring while he fetched a couple of bottles of water. They hydrated willingly, while they grabbed their gloves.</p><p>"I want you to focus on blocking today," Blaine said as he climbed onto the ring and bounced a little on his feet. "Blocking is as important as knowing how to hit. You can never let your guard down, okay?"</p><p>"Okay," Tony said, all wide-eyed and eager. The kid was like a sponge – he absorbed every word Blaine said and stared at him with the kind of admiration that Blaine wasn't sure he deserved.</p><p>It started out well. Blaine corrected Tony's posture a few times and gave him tips to make his defense more effective. Tony managed to land a few solid punches on Blaine that made him grin – it was nice to see the kid picking things up so well.</p><p>Maybe Blaine got confident that Tony was doing <em>too</em> well. He threw a quick jab that was easily rejected, but Tony didn't see his right hook coming immediately after it. Blaine's gloved fist connected with his face a little too strongly, and before he knew it, Tony was stepping back, his hands covering his face, and leaving a trail of blood behind him.</p><p>"Oh shit!" Blaine exclaimed, worried. "Tony, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"</p><p>It was difficult to make Tony remove his hands from his face so Blaine could check on him, but as soon as he did, he realized he had probably broken his nose. Blaine cursed under his breath and helped him out of the ring, yelling at Carlos to get him a taxi to take the kid to the hospital.</p><p>This was definitely <em>not</em> a part of Blaine's routine…</p><hr/><p>Kurt kept his smile on his face even though he was ready to hit the future Mrs. Astin with the nearest bouquet of roses he could find.</p><p>"Are you sure you don't want to consider a less traditional option?" Kurt asked sweetly, in what Santana called his <em>I'm-about-to-commit-murder</em> voice. "Red roses are definitely beautiful, but they would clash with the rest of the décor we have discussed…"</p><p>They were walking down a row of flowers at Kurt's favorite vendor. He had tried to lead the woman and her best friend towards the orchids, the lilies and the geraniums, but she was fixated on the red roses.</p><p>"Mike gave me red roses for our first date," she insisted. "It's symbolic."</p><p>Kurt kept that tight smile on his lips. <em>Of course he gave you red roses for your first date, sweetheart. Men have absolutely no imagination whatsoever when it comes to choosing flowers for a date. They choose the easiest option. You and about every other bride in America gets red roses…</em></p><p>"That's really lovely," Kurt muttered, making sure he remained professional and patient. "How about we create a mix of flowers, including red roses, that will allow you to have that symbolism you want, and match the décor at the same time?"</p><p>The woman kept staring at the red roses as if she had never seen something like them before. "No, I don't like that idea. I want these ones."</p><p>Kurt was glad his phone started to ring in that moment, because he was seriously considering making her <em>eat the damn roses</em>. He lifted a finger to ask them to wait and walked a few steps away to take the call. "Hello, this is Kurt Hummel."</p><p>"Kurt?" A slightly strangled female voice said on the other end. "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, I… it's Tanya…"</p><p>"Tanya?" Kurt repeated, confused, and immediately an alarm went off inside of him. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"</p><p>"I don't think so," she replied, and he would have sworn she was crying. "I… I'm having contractions. I'm heading to the hospital right now."</p><p>"Contractions?" Kurt repeated dumbly. She couldn't have contractions. She hadn't even passed the seven months mark yet. <em>It was too soon</em>.</p><p>"Look, I'm sorry… I know you're probably busy, but I just… I don't know what's going on, and I thought you should know and…" Tanya rambled on, clearly panicking.</p><p>"Honey, breathe," Kurt interrupted, trying not to sound like he was about to throw up even though <em>he was</em>. "I'm on my way to the hospital. Are you alone?"</p><p>"My roommate is with me," she answered.</p><p>"Good. Stay with her, ask for your doctor as soon as you get there, and I'll meet you in a few minutes. It'll be okay, honey," he said, and tried to sound convincing enough so he would believe it, too.</p><p>Tanya agreed quietly and then hung up. Kurt felt on edge, like he wasn't home in how own skin, as he turned back towards his client. He wasn't sure what was happening, but there was only one place he wanted to be right now, and it wasn't here.</p><p>"I'm so sorry," he muttered frantically. "I have to go… there's a family emergency… I will call you tomorrow and reschedule…"</p><p>He didn't even wait for the women to answer. He turned around and ran to the nearest exit, looking around for cabs as soon as he was on the sidewalk. He managed to flag one down relatively quickly, and gave the driver the address of the hospital. He told him to hurry, and slipped him a very generous tip.</p><p>He saw Tanya in the reception area as soon as he stepped into the hospital. Her friend was explaining the situation to a nurse, while Tanya held her stomach and closer her eyes. She looked pale and frightened, and it didn't do anything to ease Kurt's nerves.</p><p>"Tanya!" He exclaimed, and immediately went to her. She seemed relieved to see him. "Are you okay? Is your doctor here?"</p><p>"Doctor Collins is with a patient right now. We'll call her right away," the nurse said, and fetched a wheel chair for Tanya to sit. "I'll take you to an examination room. Deep breaths, dear. It'll be alright."</p><p>"Can they come with me?" Tanya asked, looking at Kurt and her friend desperately.</p><p>"Only one of them, I'm afraid," the nurse informed her with a gentle smile.</p><p>Tanya's hand flew towards Kurt's arm, and held on tightly. "He's the baby's father."</p><p>"Follow me, sir," the nurse instructed, and they walked down a long, busy hallway towards an examination room.</p><p>Doctor Collins arrived ten minutes later. Tanya was already settled comfortably on a small bed, waiting impatiently, clutching Kurt's hand until she cut the circulation. Kurt was as terrified as she was, but tried to get her to calm down, speaking softly and running his fingers through her voluptuous hair. He found himself hoping the baby had her same adorably messy curls.</p><p>"What do we have here?" Doctor Collins said as way of greeting, approaching the bed and looking at Tanya seriously.</p><p>"Contractions," Tanya informed her immediately. "I shouldn't be having them, should I? I'll only be seven months pregnant in a week. It's too soon. Is the baby okay?"</p><p>"It'll be fine, Tanya. With what frequency are you feeling them?" Doctor Collins asked calmly.</p><p>"I…" Tanya paused, confused. "I had three in like half an hour…"</p><p>"When was the last one?" Doctor Collins asked, checking something in a clipboard.</p><p>Tanya looked up at Kurt and then at the doctor. "The last one was when I left my apartment. When I called you, Kurt," she said, glancing back at him.</p><p>"Were the contractions very painful?" Doctor Collins continued asking, and the lack of urgency in her voice made Kurt even more nervous. Why wasn't she doing anything?</p><p>"Uh, no, not really. They scared me, but they weren't unbearably painful…" Tanya replied. "They started slowly. The first one was mostly uncomfortable. The last two were a little more intense."</p><p>"What did you do today, Tanya?" Doctor Collins asked.</p><p>Tanya seemed puzzled by the question. "Uhm, I had to go to the library to get a few books. Then I did some grocery shopping, and vacuumed my room…"</p><p>Doctor Collins, surprisingly, smiled. "Have you eaten or drunk anything today?"</p><p>"I had some orange juice this morning when I had breakfast. I was going to have some lunch after I was done cleaning…" Tanya explained, puzzled.</p><p>"Tanya, what you experienced aren't real contractions. Trust me, you'll know the real ones," she said with a gentle smile. "These were Braxton Hicks contractions. They happen very often in the second and third trimesters, and are usually triggered when the mom is very active or dehydrated. You're almost seven months pregnant, Tanya. You need to slow down a little, and remember to eat and drink when you need it."</p><p>"So it's nothing wrong with the baby? It's not coming early?" Kurt finally couldn't stop himself from interjecting.</p><p>Doctor Collins directed a calming smile at him. "No, the baby's not coming yet. The contractions have stopped now, and there's nothing to worry about. Real contractions don't disappear, they grow in intensity and are more painful and steady. Like I said, you'll know when it happens."</p><p>"What should we do now?" Kurt asked, still holding onto Tanya's hand for dear life.</p><p>"Well, we're going to get this mommy some water, and then I want her to go home and do nothing for the rest of the day," Doctor Collins said. "Make sure to pause between one activity and the other, Tanya, and not to do anything that might cause a strain on you or the baby. And please, remember to eat and drink plenty of water."</p><p>"I will," Tanya promised, sheepishly.</p><p>Doctor Collins patted her knee and then left the room. Kurt exhaled loudly and leaned against the edge of the bed.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Tanya said, hiding her face behind her hands in embarrassment. "I shouldn't have scared you. I should have known…"</p><p>"It's okay, sweetie," he replied, numbly. "I'm just glad you and the baby are okay."</p><p>"I promise I'll take better care of myself. Of your baby," she said, squeezing his hand. "I don't know what I was thinking…"</p><p>"You're wonderful," Kurt said, kissing her forehead. "You've never done this before, and I haven't either. We're learning together."</p><p>They were in the room for half an hour, waiting for Tanya to feel better so she could leave. She promised over and over again that she was going straight to bed as soon as she got home, and Kurt finally walked her back to where her friend was waiting for them.</p><p>"I'll take you home," Kurt said.</p><p>"No need," Tanya smiled at him. "Thank you, Kurt. But I'll be fine. I'll take a cab and Lara will stay with me the whole time. I already took enough of your time. I know how busy you are…"</p><p>"Tanya, you're giving me the most important thing I will ever have. My time is yours," Kurt replied vehemently.</p><p>"Still," Tanya insisted. She planted a sweet kiss on his cheek. "You are amazing. But I feel a lot better, if not a little embarrassed for making such a big deal out of this."</p><p>He watched as Lara wrapped an arm around Tanya and helped her outside. They stood on the curve for a moment, until a cab stopped and they got in. Kurt was rooted to the spot, still inside the hospital, and he was glad to be near a row of seats, because his legs were shaking so badly that he didn't know how much longer they would hold him up.</p><p>He buried his face in his hands and let out a breath that it seemed he had been holding forever. He didn't want to cry – Tanya was <em>fine</em> – but he had been so scared…</p><p>A voice startled him. "Kurt?"</p><p>Kurt looked up and found Blaine standing in front of him, watching him with a mix of curiosity and concern. "Blaine…" Kurt mumbled, and that one name felt like a breath of fresh air.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, taking one single step ahead, hesitant. "Did something happen?"</p><p>Kurt didn't even register what he was doing. One moment he was sitting and the next he was throwing his arms around Blaine's neck and holding him, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. The scent of his skin was familiar and comforting, and Kurt buried his face in his neck, craving it like he had never craved anything before.</p><p>Blaine's arms were immediately around his waist, supporting his weight as if he knew Kurt couldn't trust his own legs right now. He frowned as he held him, and rubbed a circle on the small of his back, soothingly. "Hey, hey… it's okay… just tell me what's wrong…"</p><p>How complicated would it be to say he had been horribly scared that he would lose his baby? How could he explain to Blaine, when he was so shook up and standing in the middle of a hospital, that he was going to be a father and that for a moment he had been terrified that his dream was going to collapse? How could he tell Blaine that he had feared for the wellbeing of his baby and its mother when Blaine had no idea they existed in the first place?</p><p>He pulled away slowly, reluctantly, and saw a young man standing a few feet away, waiting awkwardly for Blaine. "Who is he?" Kurt asked in a soft voice.</p><p>Blaine looked over his shoulder for a second, but his eyes were back on Kurt in a flash. "He's one of the guys I train. I accidentally punched him in the nose. He's lucky it isn't broken…"</p><p>Kurt tried to smile politely and step away from the circle of Blaine's arms, but he realized he didn't have the strength to do it. "I'm glad he's okay…"</p><p>"Are you?" Blaine asked, his hazel eyes very intent on Kurt's face.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt replied, and forced himself to smile this time. "It was just a scare."</p><p>Blaine seemed to have realized he wasn't getting a more elaborate explanation out of Kurt, because he simply nodded, even though he didn't look happy about it. "Good. Well, I…"</p><p>Kurt's fingers tightened on Blaine's clothes without his permission. His body didn't want to let him go, even though Kurt knew it was a bad idea to hold on. He tried to breathe normally, but it was shaky at best.</p><p>The boy finally approached them, looking at Kurt warily, before talking to Blaine. "I'm gonna go. You can stay with your friend."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Blaine asked. "Your nose…"</p><p>"It's fine," the boy waved him off. "It looks like you're needed here."</p><p>Blaine licked his lips and looked back at Kurt, who was still holding him in the most desperate way. "Okay," he agreed at last. "I'll see you. Take care, Tony. And I'm sorry, again."</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Tony smiled and then simply turned around and disappeared. Blaine's focus was now entirely on Kurt.</p><p>"Come on," he muttered softly. "Let me take you home."</p><p>Kurt knew it was a bad, very bad, terrible idea. He should have said no. He should have forced himself to get his shit together. He should have pulled away from Blaine and walked away before it was too late.</p><p>But when it came to Blaine Anderson, Kurt always did the stupidest things.</p><p>"Okay," he accepted, and buried his face in Blaine's neck again.</p><hr/><p>The ride home on the cab was silent. They were looking in opposite directions, but their fingers were intertwined on the seat between them. They both knew it was best to put some distance and avoid touching each other, but it was like their bodies had a mind of their own, and simply seek for what they needed regardless of how it could affect them.</p><p>Kurt reacted quickly enough to pay the driver before Blaine did when he pulled over in front of his building. Blaine held the door opened for him and wordlessly walked him up to his apartment, this time finally managing to keep his hands to himself. Kurt twisted his keys between his fingers nervously. He wanted to fill the silence, but he lacked the appropriate words for it.</p><p>They stopped at Kurt's door, but Kurt made no move to go inside.</p><p>"So…" Blaine began to say, quite awkwardly. "I guess you won't tell me what happened and why you were at the hospital…"</p><p>Kurt shook his head and looked down at the floor. "It's… complicated. But it's over now and everything's fine, I promise."</p><p>"Okay, well, then I should…" Blaine said, and made a vague gesture with his hand, beginning to turn around.</p><p>"I've missed you," Kurt murmured before he could stop himself.</p><p>Blaine's eyes shifted to him, wide and confused, and so freaking beautiful. "Kurt…"</p><p>Kurt finally wanted to say a million things – he wanted to apologize, to tell Blaine that he was not fucked up, that he was the most wonderful man he had ever known, that Kurt had been so cruel and undeserving of Blaine's time and sweetness. He wanted to tell Blaine that there hadn't been a single day since their break up that he hadn't thought of him, that he hadn't wished he was sitting on the couch next to him while he worked, that he hadn't woken up and reached for him only to find the other side of the bed empty and cold. He wanted to tell Blaine a million things.</p><p>He kissed him instead.</p><p>Kurt had no idea what he was doing. It had been an emotionally draining day and he wasn't sure how to function anymore. He simply moved forward, cupped Blaine's face in his hands and planted a sweet, lingering kiss on his lips.</p><p>Blaine gasped in surprise, but their mouths slotted together perfectly, like puzzle pieces, and his arms were soon enveloping Kurt's waist and pulling him closer. God, it felt right. Kurt felt as if he had been wandering around a desert for weeks, and finally found an oasis in the middle of a beige, monotonous landscape. He wanted to stay in the shade of Blaine's arms and drink from his kisses until he was satisfied.</p><p>It was Blaine who ended the kiss, pulling away slowly as if coming out of a dream that was hard to let go of. When his eyes found Kurt's, he seemed confused and relieved at the same time. But then he looked away for a moment, and took a deep breath, before slowly disentangling himself from Kurt.</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, and his voice had that raspy quality that always drove Kurt crazy in the darkness of their bedrooms.</p><p>"Yeah," Kurt nodded. "Blaine, I…"</p><p>"I have to go," Blaine said, and did his best to smile genuinely at Kurt. "Take care, Kurt. I hope whatever happened is all better now."</p><p>Kurt wanted to say a million things. But he once again said nothing, and simply let Blaine walk away from him, while his lips tingled with the fresh memory of their last kiss.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt had experienced many kisses in his life. There had been awkward first kisses, enthusiastic kisses, kisses on the cheek from family and friends, kisses that were only a door to something more, distracted kisses born from habit, kisses that hadn't meant enough, kisses that had meant everything to him but not to the person he shared it with, kisses on the forehead given by his mother once upon a time. He could catalogue kisses into a million different categories, but none of them had kept him up at night the way this last little kiss with Blaine did.</p><p>It hadn't lasted long. It hadn't been open-mouthed and desperate. It had barely been more than a peck. And still… Kurt could have drowned in it, blissfully. He wouldn't have put an end to it, not even for a much-needed breath. He would have drowned in Blaine's arms and died a happy death.</p><p>And fuck if that didn't scare the shit out of him.</p><p>He tried to push the thought away. He tried to keep himself busy with work, and Rachel's crazy idea of throwing a Halloween party. He tried to focus on choosing, once and for all, the perfect décor for the baby's room. He tried to fill the silence in his apartment with mindless television, business phone calls, and music that only made him think of the man he was trying to push away.</p><p>The universe seemed to enjoy torturing him.</p><p>Every time the doorbell rang, Kurt took a deep breath and opened it only to find virtually everyone he knew, except Blaine. He felt like an idiot – hadn't he put an end to this for a good reason? Just because he ran into Blaine at one of his most vulnerable moments, it didn't mean he could take that decision back. He couldn't waste his – or Blaine's, for that matter – time anymore. He had a baby on the way.</p><p>A baby he didn't feel anywhere near ready to welcome.</p><p>The scare with Tanya only made Kurt see that his list of things to do before the baby arrived was still too long. The bedroom wasn't ready, there weren't enough clothes, he hadn't started stocking up on diapers, or formula. He needed teddy bears and blankets and a changing table and… oh, the list kept going and going, until Kurt worked himself into a panic.</p><p>Distractions were scarce, and worries seemed to overflow lately, but Kurt somehow managed. He told himself he would figure out all the baby stuff soon – he was Burt Hummel's son, after all. Being a good dad had to be in his blood, right? And Blaine… Blaine would eventually vanish from his thoughts, right? It wasn't as if Kurt would never move on. It wasn't as if he was in love with the guy…</p><p>He pretended he didn't feel his stomach twisting anxiously every time he disregarded the idea.</p><hr/><p>Kurt hadn't been on the mood to spend a lot of time on his Halloween costume this year. He had been too busy, especially at work. One of the couples he was working with got along so awfully that he had no idea why they even bothered getting married at all. He gave them two weeks – they would either get a divorce or kill each other during the honeymoon. When the time for Rachel's party came around, he realized he hadn't even put much thought into what he would wear, so he scanned through his closet until he found a few pieces he could combine and make it work.</p><p>Santana had arched an eyebrow as soon as she saw him. "And what are you supposed to be?"</p><p>She was Catwoman this year, and Kurt had to admit she looked magnificent in the tight leather suit.</p><p>"Charlie Chaplin," Kurt answered, rolling his eyes and pointing at himself. It was quite obvious, after all. He could see her judging her. "What? I didn't have a lot of time for this. At least I'm not dressed as Minnie Mouse, like Rachel is."</p><p>"She said she did it for Lilah," Dani said, appearing next to Santana in her Wonder Woman costume.</p><p>"Well, the poor child is terrified. Look at her! I would be scared shitless, too!" Santana exclaimed, and the three of them turned to see Rachel removing the giant Minnie Mouse head off her costume so she could have a drink and breathe. For the fifteenth time that night, Lilah saw her and started bawling, terrified. Rachel rushed towards her to calm her, but her husband had to step in and keep her from traumatizing their child even more.</p><p>By the end of the night, Kurt had to admit, he had a lot of fun. It had been nice to laugh with his friends, dance a little, and have a few drinks. It still didn't erase what had happened the previous week with Blaine and Tanya, but it helped him relax a lot more than he had relaxed in what felt like months.</p><p>He had work the next day, so he couldn't stay as long as the others did. He said goodbye to his friends and left. The streets were crowded with people in costumes, and Kurt had fun watching them and critiquing their costumes internally while he walked to the subway station.</p><p>He hadn't realized Blaine's gym was on his way until he was at the door. It was closed for the night, with a lonely light bulb hanging over the entrance, but Kurt couldn't help himself – he stopped and watched the building. He wondered if Blaine was out there, celebrating Halloween like most of New York City's population, or if he was home relaxing for the night. Wherever he was, Kurt hoped he was happy.</p><p>A poster next to the door caught his eye. It looked like there was another fight happening the following week. It didn't take long for Kurt to find Blaine's name listed among the boxers that would compete. The idea of Blaine getting up on that ring again and getting hurt made Kurt ache deep within, and he twisted his hands together as he stared at that name he knew so well.</p><p>The roar of laughter from a group of friends approaching down the sidewalk snapped Kurt out of his daze, and he hurried to walk in the direction of the subway station. There was no point in standing in front of an old, empty gym. There was nothing for him there.</p><p>He had walked away. It had been for the best. Blaine was no longer part of his life, beautiful, unforgettable kisses be damned.</p><hr/><p>It was just another week from hell – Kurt had to play mediator with the couple that had been driving him crazy lately. They almost broke up when they couldn't agree on the wedding cake, and he was sure the bride-to-be had eyed his stapler and began to evaluate it as a weapon before Kurt decided it was time to intervene. He didn't want her to kill the man in his office. He had a beautiful, brand new white carpet.</p><p>The wedding he had on Friday night was for a much sweeter couple. They had been together since high school. They were expecting their first baby and decided to get married before their son was born. Macy looked absolutely stunning in her white gown that let her baby bump show. It was quite a simple ceremony, but Kurt decided it was one of his favorite ones – he had almost been able to breathe their love in the air. These two had been made for each other, like Charlie said during the vows, and they had been so lucky to find each other in such a big world, so early on.</p><p>Kurt discretely wiped a tear away when Charlie finished saying his vows. He was just tired, that was all. He had worked hard all week.</p><p>The only downtime was at the reception, once all the guests were on the dance floor, with their bellies full of delicious food and their hearts full of love and joy. He stood by the side, looking around and making sure everything was going well, as he usually did, when the song playing changed. He recognized the new one very soon – it was the one he had danced to at Cooper's wedding with Blaine.</p><p>It hit him like a slap to the face. He missed Blaine. It didn't matter how much he tried to distract himself. It didn't matter if he knew letting him go was the logical thing to do. It didn't matter that his life was about to get a lot more complicated than it already was. He missed him so much he didn't know how he managed to breathe.</p><p>Maybe it was time to admit that he had feelings for Blaine, too.</p><p>But what difference did it make? Their lives had reached a crossroad and separated. Kurt was having a baby soon, and Blaine's life was still too complicated, ruled by anger and pain, by a past he obviously hadn't moved on from. How could Kurt be with Blaine when it wasn't just him he had to worry about anymore?</p><p>
  <em>You'll be a dad, a wedding planner, a friend, a son, and a man, all at the same time, and so much more than that, too. If you think this guy's worth it… don't let him go just because you have some weird idea about what being a parent is. You're a person, Kurt, not a box. There are so many more sides of you.</em>
</p><p>Burt Hummel had always seemed to know what the right thing to say was.</p><p>Right there, in the middle of another wedding, Kurt Hummel made his choice. He wasn't sure if it was a wise choice or where it would take him, but he knew he would regret it deeply if he ignored what his heart had been desperately screaming for since Blaine had walked away.</p><p>Kurt wasn't deaf anymore – he was going to listen to his heart, once and for all.</p><p>He chose Blaine.</p><hr/><p>The tube light in the locker room was flickering again, casting on and off shadows on Blaine as he tightened his gloves. He could hear the murmur of the crowd outside, but here, it was quiet. Quiet enough to make him despair.</p><p>Everything seemed way too quiet later.</p><p>He knew he had to be out there in five minutes – the previous fight had ended, and someone from a different gym had won, so the locals had all their hopes on him. Blaine was eager to jump onto the ring, to hear the audience claiming for blood. It made him feel alive every time, and it had been a while since he had felt truly alive, since he had felt the air in his lungs and the pump of blood through his veins. His life moved on autopilot now.</p><p>Except for last week, when Kurt had kissed him.</p><p>But that wasn't something Blaine allowed himself to think about. Kurt hadn't been himself at the moment – whatever had happened at the hospital had really affected him – and that kiss probably had been more a need for comfort than anything else. Blaine had tried to push it away from his memory every day since then. There was no point in letting himself hope. He already knew what happened when he was stupid enough to believe there was a sliver of light in his life.</p><p>One of the other trainers knocked on the open door. "It's time, Anderson!" He exclaimed, full of enthusiasm.</p><p>Blaine tried to smile, but it was like his muscles didn't remember what they were supposed to do to achieve it. "I'm coming."</p><p>The crowd welcomed him with a roar – he knew he was a favorite. He had won most of his fights since he had started competing, and he had been part of the gym for a decade now. These guys were like a family to him. At this point, they were probably the only family he would ever have.</p><p>When the ref announced him, he got onto the ring. The audience grew louder and he nodded to show his appreciation. He swiped his hazel eyes over the crowd. It was a full house tonight, which made him glad. It was good to keep the gym in business…</p><p>Blaine had to do a double take. It just had to have been wishful thinking. There was no way that…</p><p>Kurt was standing there. His bright blue eyes were staring right at him, and a little smile wobbled on his lips as their gazes met. Blaine was breathless, and <em>he just didn't understand</em>. Why was Kurt there? He didn't want to allow himself to hope. He couldn't bear to go through all that hurt again. It would unequivocally destroy him, once and for all.</p><p>Kurt crossed his fingers and mouthed <em>good luck</em>, before pressing his open palm to his chest, right where his heart was.</p><p>Even if he didn't want it, hope burned bright in Blaine's chest, travelling through his body, warming up every inch of him. His own heart began to beat wildly. Was it…? Could it be…?</p><p>Blaine smiled right at Kurt. Then he punched his gloves together and faced his opponent. Oh, he was ready.</p><p>He had never been more ready in his life.</p><hr/><p>When Blaine smiled at him all the way from the ring, Kurt felt as if his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. He hadn't liked the stoic, serious look on Blaine's face when he appeared in front of the crowd. Part of him still had no idea what he was doing, but he knew that if Blaine was smiling, then he definitely wasn't doing so badly.</p><p>The first round started and Kurt held his breath as he watched Blaine move towards his opponent without a moment's hesitation. He was unstoppable since the very first punch – it was as if someone had switched a button and filled Blaine with restless energy. The crowd loved it, cheering for him louder and louder every time his fist landed on the other man.</p><p>It was still slightly barbaric, but Kurt grinned. He was proud of Blaine for not backing down, for being unapologetic about what he did with his life. He was proud of him for reasons he couldn't even put down in words. He just knew that, as he watched him, Kurt felt as if the whole world had tilted on its axis, and now it moved at the perfect pace. He had never known he had been running to catch up with it, not until this moment.</p><p>The first round ended just as Blaine threw a perfect jab at the other man, making him stumble backwards with the force of it. Kurt clapped, excitedly, but was immediately distracted by a whoop of joy that came from a few rows behind him.</p><p>"Yes! God, that's my Squirt!" The voice said, and the hint of pride and the nickname were enough to make Kurt turn around and sweep through the audience.</p><p>Cooper was standing near the entrance, wearing a baseball cap and a leather jacket. It was evident he was in incognito mode, but Kurt wasn't sure just how effective it was – the designer sunglasses he had on were a little too obvious, especially because they were indoors and it the sky outside was already dark.</p><p>Kurt moved towards him, frowning. "Cooper? What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Kurt? Hi!" Cooper exclaimed happily. "I should have known you were going to be here. Isn't he amazing tonight? This is probably the best he's ever fought!"</p><p>Kurt was a little surprised at that comment. "How do you know that? Do you come to his fights often? Does he know you're here?"</p><p>"Of course he doesn't. He would be punching <em>me</em>, if he knew," Cooper replied, and though he said it lightly, Kurt noticed the hint on bitterness in his voice. "I just sneak in here to see him whenever I can."</p><p>Kurt turned back towards the ring. Blaine was chugging down some water, just as the referee moved to the center to mark the start of the second round. Blaine bounced to his feet to face his opponent.</p><p>"I guess you don't want a repeat of what happened at his apartment the last time," Kurt sighed.</p><p>"No, I don't," Cooper glanced at him sadly for a moment. "I miss him, you know? I would do anything to talk to him for a little while, but I don't know how. I don't know how to get my baby brother back…"</p><p>The anguish in Cooper's voice was loud and clear. Kurt had no idea what to say or how to help him. He knew Blaine had his reasons to stay away, but what if he was wrong? What if his brother hadn't always been against him, like Blaine had believed? What if things could be fixed? Would Blaine want to have his family back?</p><p>He got distracted when the crowd grew more euphoric, and looked back towards the ring. Blaine had the other man trapped against the ropes, and was punching him mercilessly. Kurt instinctively reached and grabbed onto Cooper's arm, squeezing it.</p><p>The opponent managed to turn them around until it was Blaine who was against the ropes. Blaine raised his hands to protect his face from the punches.</p><p>"Oh god," Kurt murmured, undecided between squeezing Cooper's arm until he cut his circulation or hiding his eyes behind his hands so he wouldn't see this. "Come on, Blaine!" He screamed instead, unable to stop himself. "You can do it, honey!"</p><p>Blaine threw a fast right hook, followed by a few quick jabs, until the other man was stumbling back like he had done before. It seemed to make him lose his center, and Blaine took it as the opportunity it was – his fists were quick like shooting stars, landing on the man's face, stomach and sides intermittently, until he lost his footing and Blaine retrieved.</p><p>As much as his opponent tried, he couldn't stand up again. The referee counted to ten very slowly as both Kurt and Cooper held their breaths, expectantly.</p><p>Blaine's smile was huge when the referee held his hand up in the air in victory. His hazel eyes began to roam the audience eagerly, as if looking for something.</p><p>"You should go," Cooper murmured, giving Kurt a smile. "He's looking for you."</p><p>"I… are you okay, Cooper?" Kurt asked, because he didn't want to leave him alone just like that.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine. I should probably leave before he sees me anyway," Cooper shrugged as if it didn't matter. "Bye, Kurt."</p><p>Kurt didn't wait for Cooper to leave or say anything else. He snaked his way through the crowd towards the ring, and Blaine's gaze found him just before he reached it. He climbed through the ropes and jumped off the ring, landing right in front of Kurt. He wasn't as hurt as he had been after the first fight Kurt had seen. There was only a little cut on his chin, but he looked unharmed aside from that. Kurt hesitated for a moment as they looked into each other's eyes. He wasn't sure what was next.</p><p>Blaine made the decision for him. He wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist, pressing his gloved hand against Kurt's side, and pulled him closer. He didn't seem to care that they were surrounded by people, that the cheering and roaring of the crowd hadn't died out yet, that every pair of eyes was on them at the moment. Blaine simply looked right into Kurt's eyes, as if looking for something. And he probably found it, because he was moving in a second later, his lips meeting Kurt's in an eager kiss that tasted a lot like sweat and victory.</p><p>Kurt wrapped his own arms around him to kiss him back, and didn't care who was watching.</p><hr/><p>Blaine's apartment looked exactly like the last time Kurt had been there – messy and boyish, but homey. It was the perfect apartment for a man like Blaine. It smelled like him, too. Kurt really, really liked that.</p><p>They hadn't said much after the kiss. Blaine had gone into the locker room for a quick shower, and Kurt had waited for him. They hadn't even needed to discuss it to know they were going home together – Blaine offered Kurt his hand as soon as he rejoined him, hair damp from the shower, and Kurt accepted it without question.</p><p>Blaine closed the door behind them after they had stepped inside. He leaned back against it and watched Kurt silently, his hazel eyes bright and open. Kurt looked over his shoulder when Blaine didn't follow, and smiled at him softly.</p><p>"We should probably talk, huh?" Kurt muttered, not without a pinch of anxiety.</p><p>But Blaine shook his head very, very slowly. "Not now. It can wait 'til the morning, right?"</p><p>Kurt's whole body seemed to loosen at that. "I guess it can, yes." He leaned against the armrest of the couch and simply looked at Blaine. "So what are we…?"</p><p>"I need to make love to you," Blaine interrupted, and Kurt's breath caught. From anyone else, that would have been such a line. But with Blaine… oh, the shiver that ran down his spine was enough to take his words seriously. "I need to touch you. And I want you to touch me. Is that okay?"</p><p>Kurt let out a long, shaky breath. He nodded, dumbly. "Yes, that's more than okay."</p><p>Blaine walked towards him. He didn't rush. He didn't look like he was going to jump Kurt right there in the middle of the living room. He looked almost cautious. He approached Kurt as if he was a scared little animal that would get spooked if he made a sudden movement.</p><p>Blaine stood before him. His eyes were wide and so bright that Kurt felt like he could get lost in them. Blaine reached, tentatively, and ran the tips of his fingers across Kurt's cheekbone and down his jaw. His thumb outlined the shape of Kurt's lips, and Kurt let them part, tempted to suck it into his mouth and show Blaine the way in which he could drive him crazy.</p><p>Blaine's mouth soon replaced his thumb on Kurt's lips. He kissed him slowly at first, as if he needed to get reacquainted with Kurt's mouth. Kurt was melting against him instantly, parting his lips, granting entrance, silently letting Blaine take whatever he wanted. Blaine accepted Kurt's offering, and his tongue soon pushed gently into his mouth. From there, it wasn't difficult for the kiss to turn more desperate, needier. Kurt's hands settled on Blaine's shoulders and pulled him closer, needing to feel his warm, hard body against his.</p><p>When Blaine ended the kiss, Kurt whined in protest, trying to chase his mouth. Blaine smiled and nuzzled their noses together, a gesture so tender that it seemed out of place with the fire burning between them.</p><p>"Let's go to bed," Blaine whispered, and Kurt could only nod and grab his hand. He would have followed Blaine anywhere right now.</p><p>They didn't bother turning the lights one. Kurt stood in the middle of Blaine's dark bedroom, as Blaine moved around him, slowly working the buttons of his shirt, nipping on his jaw, letting his hands trail warm paths over every inch of skin he revealed. Kurt was shaking by the time he was naked – he wasn't sure if it was because he was cold, or because of what Blaine was making him feel.</p><p>Blaine undressed himself while Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Kurt could feel the roughness of Blaine's clothes against his naked body. He knew he should have taken a step back and let Blaine get rid of his clothes, that it would be faster that way, but for some reason he couldn't let go. He wanted to be close to him, and Blaine didn't seem to mind.</p><p>They fell onto the bed once they were both naked. Blaine's body was heavy and solid on top of Kurt's, and Kurt moaned in delight. It was amazing to feel him like this again. His body had craved Blaine's desperately in the past few weeks. Now that he had it here again, he wasn't sure how he had managed to survive.</p><p>Kurt got so lost in Blaine's kisses that the slick touch of Blaine's fingers against his entrance shocked him. He gasped, but his legs fell open instantly. He wanted him, god, he wanted Blaine like he had never wanted anyone. He had thought he knew what passion and raw desire were, but the things that Blaine made him feel erased his past and forced him rewrite it. It had all been dulled and ordinary, until Blaine touched him. Now he could see the fireworks that the cliché romance novels talked about all the time. He didn't need an orgasm to see them – it was enough to feel one of Blaine's fingertips against his skin.</p><p>When he was stretched, ready and begging for Blaine, Kurt wrapped his legs around Blaine's hips and forced him closer, arching his back in anticipation. Blaine smiled against his lips, and sneaked a hand between their bodies to guide his cock into his body. Kurt threw his head back and moaned happily. It was perfect. He couldn't understand how he had gone so long without it…</p><p>He and Blaine had fucked so many times that he had lost count, but Kurt couldn't remember a single time that had been like this. The desperation that they both had seemed to feel at the beginning had vanished, and now every second, every breath, every kiss seemed too fragile and important. Blaine moved slowly above him, and their breaths mixed as they gasped into each other's mouths with every shift of their bodies. Kurt would have sworn that Blaine was smiling against his lips, but the flash of pleasure coursing through his body was so intense that he wasn't sure he was capable of feeling anything else.</p><p>"Blaine…" he murmured, because his name seemed to be the only important word he could utter right now.</p><p>"I'm here," Blaine whispered back, shifting so he could hide his face in Kurt's neck. He nipped at his pulse point, teasingly. "I'm right here, baby."</p><p>Kurt dug his heels on the small of Blaine's back, urging him deeper. "Keep going. Don't stop."</p><p>"Never," Blaine groaned.</p><p>Kurt closed his eyes and let the immense pleasure take over him. He lost track of time. He didn't know if Blaine fucked him for five more minutes or five more hours. The sun could have risen through the curtains and he still wouldn't have noticed. He allowed himself to get lost in this, to savor every second, to moan at the sparks that seemed to ignite his body. Blaine knew how to touch him, understood his body like no one else ever had.</p><p>His orgasm was a surprise. It sneaked up on him with a particularly sharp thrust of Blaine's hips. The way he hit Kurt's prostate made Kurt arch in ecstasy, and his cock twitched, shooting come all over his and Blaine's chest and stomach. Blaine panted in his ear, needy and beautiful, and then pushed himself onto his forearms, looking down at Kurt, still shocking through his own climax, and fucked him fast and hard, until the same pleasure coursed through him.</p><p>Kurt caught him in his arms when Blaine's faltered, and cradled him against his chest like he was something too precious to let go. He could feel the flutter of Blaine's eyelashes against his jaw. Kurt's legs were sore from holding onto Blaine's waist for so long, but he didn't want to loosen them, to let them fall to the bed. He didn't want to let Blaine pull away from him. He wanted to feel him inside him forever.</p><p>Blaine finally began trailing sweet little kisses over Kurt's collarbone. His hands ran down Kurt's sides, outlining every rib, every dip. Kurt hummed in contentment.</p><p>"Kurt?" Blaine's voice was deep in the darkness of the room.</p><p>"Yes?" Kurt said, as one of his hands moved up so he could bury his fingers in Blaine's damp curls.</p><p>"Stay?" Blaine murmured.</p><p>Somehow, Kurt knew he didn't just mean for the night. Blaine was asking for more, for so much more… and Kurt couldn't find a reason not to give it to him.</p><p>"Of course," Kurt replied, and used the fingers tangled in his curls to pull Blaine into a sweet kiss, that felt a lot like a promise.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt woke up slowly the next morning. He was first aware of the warmth pressed all along his front, then the way his legs were intertwined with another pair of hairier legs, and finally the curls tickling his nose.</p><p>Waking up with Blaine in his arms again was like waking up in paradise.</p><p>He was safe, soft, and familiar against Kurt. With a deep breath, Kurt got comfortable, molding himself even closer to Blaine's back, and wished he could stay right there all day. Blaine had one of his hands trapped between both of his, holding it tightly like he was afraid to let go. They were still naked, and Kurt could feel his very interested body reacting to the heat of Blaine's skin. But for now… he was contented just like this. Sex could wait.</p><p>He closed his eyes, ready to let sleep take him again, when Blaine shifted slightly, sighing in that wonderful way that meant he was coming out of a very satisfying sleep. He lazily lifted Kurt's hand and pressed a kiss against his knuckles before he looked over his shoulder.</p><p>"Hey," he murmured, smiling in a way that made his nose all scrunchy. It was too adorable.</p><p>"Good morning," Kurt replied, kissing the curve of his shoulder because it was the part of Blaine closest to him. "How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?"</p><p>Blaine's toe poked his calf under the blankets. "I feel amazing. Did you sleep well?"</p><p>"Like a baby," Kurt said, and just like that, a heavy feeling settled in his stomach. Right. <em>The baby</em>. He had to talk to Blaine.</p><p>"Thank you for coming to the fight last night," Blaine said before Kurt could even open his mouth again. "It meant a lot to me to see you there…"</p><p>"I was happy to be there," Kurt smiled, just as Blaine shifted in his arms so they could be face to face. "I… I meant what I said last week, Blaine. I have really missed you."</p><p>"I've missed you, too," Blaine grinned bashfully. There was a shadow of stubble darkening his face, and Kurt wanted to feel it against his lips. "But… you stayed."</p><p>It was a question even though Blaine hadn't phrased it as one. He was looking for affirmation, for reassurance, and Kurt was ready to give it to him. Yes, Kurt was there to stay. What he was scared of was that Blaine would be the one to walk away as soon as he heard the truth.</p><p>"I'm here," Kurt whispered, and Blaine captured his mouth in a sleepy kiss as soon as those words were out there. Like that was all he needed.</p><p>Kurt allowed a short interlude of delightful kisses, Blaine's hands caressing his back in a rhythm only he could hear. Kurt trailed his mouth down Blaine's jaw, loving the scratchy sensation of his stubble, down to his neck, where he found a sensitive spot.</p><p>He hauled himself together before they got carried away, particularly considering the way Blaine was slowly rocking his hips against him.</p><p>"How about some coffee?" Kurt asked, thinking that was a good enough excuse to get out of bed and find a setting for their conversation that wasn't so… <em>distracting</em>.</p><p>Blaine caught Kurt's earlobe between his teeth and tugged playfully. "You want coffee <em>now</em>?"</p><p>"I want to be more awake for whatever it is you have in mind right now," Kurt said, placing his hands on Blaine's shoulders and pushing a little to create some space between them. "Please?"</p><p>Blaine rolled his eyes, but complied. "<em>Fine</em>. You know I can't resist you when you pout like that."</p><p>It shouldn't have been so easy, should it? They had been apart for a little over a month. Kurt had made him believe they weren't right for each other, that Blaine wasn't right for him. And yet… here they were, back into each other's arms, and the only thing Kurt felt right now wasn't awkwardness. It was the most overwhelming kind of peace he had ever experienced.</p><p>Was this what it felt like to be exactly where he was supposed to be?</p><p>Maybe, just maybe, Blaine wouldn't run for the hills as soon as he heard the word baby. Maybe he cared about Kurt enough to stay. Maybe Kurt had read this whole situation wrong and he would end up getting the happily ever after the universe had neglected him for so long.</p><p>Maybe Blaine was the final puzzle piece he needed for the most perfect picture he had ever imagined.</p><p>They found their underwear in the piles of clothes they had made the night before, and put them on while sharing flirty smiles. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and dragged him to the kitchen, only letting go when he reached into the cupboard to find the coffee.</p><p>"Do you want me to make some breakfast?" Kurt suggested, already walking towards Blaine's fridge to see what he could find. "I can make you an omelet if you want."</p><p>"I would love one," Blaine said. "I love it when you cook for me."</p><p>"It's the least I can do, isn't it?" Kurt murmured, pausing on his way to the stove to plant a sweet kiss on Blaine's cheek. He tried to keep his nerves at bay while he put the pan on the stove and started cracking eggs into a bowl. No matter what, he was telling Blaine today.</p><p>Blaine prepared Kurt's coffee just like he knew he liked it, and popped two slices of bread into the toaster. By the time Kurt was done with the omelets, Blaine had set the breakfast bar and was pouring orange juice into two glasses.</p><p>"Bon appétit," Kurt said with a wink, and took a sip of coffee. He hummed in approval as the hot liquid ran over his tongue.</p><p>Blaine reached for Kurt's hand and gave it a short squeeze. "Thank you."</p><p>Kurt smiled warmly at him. "It's just omelets, silly. It's not a big deal."</p><p>Blaine's eyes were almost golden, they were so intense. "I'm not talking about breakfast."</p><p>The words, though simple, took Kurt's breath away. "Oh."</p><p>Blaine smiled at him before he grabbed his fork, ready to dig in. the atmosphere began to dissipate, becoming lighter again.</p><p>Kurt took a deep breath and put his coffee cup down. "So. There's something I actually need to…"</p><p>The sound of a phone ringing interrupted Kurt's confession. He recognized the ringtone as his own and huffed in annoyance. Why was it so difficult to find an opportunity to tell the truth?</p><p>"Excuse me," he muttered, and walked into the bedroom to fish his cell phone out of the pocket of his jeans. He quickly accepted the call before it went to voicemail. "Hello?"</p><p>It only took a few words before Kurt was putting his clothes on frantically, resisting the temptation to just throw the phone against the wall and hide under Blaine's blankets.</p><p>"What? Are you kidding me right now? The wedding is this Friday. How am I supposed to…?" He paused and rubbed his temple. It was too early on a Sunday to be so stressed. "Fine. I'll be there in an hour. I just need to… I'll figure it out."</p><p>Kurt ended the call and allowed himself a second to breathe. He felt like punching someone. Maybe he would need to ask Blaine to teach him how to box.</p><p>Blaine looked at him knowingly as soon as he stepped into the kitchen, completely dressed. "You have to go."</p><p>"Yes," Kurt almost whined. "I'm sorry. There's a crisis at work. The caterer that was supposed to work at the wedding on Friday has to fly to fucking California for a funeral, and he won't be able to make it back in time. And it's a family company, so they are going to be closed for the week. It's just… god. It's a nightmare. How am I going to find a new caterer and get them to make food for three hundred people in less than five days?"</p><p>Blaine stood up, wrapped his arms around Kurt and kissed the tip of his nose. "You're amazing. I'm sure you'll figure it out in the end." He produced a travel mug. "I figured you would need to run, so I poured you some coffee to go."</p><p>"You're an angel," Kurt groaned, and pulled him into a kiss. "I hate to go like this, but… I have a feeling this is going to be a terrible week. Can I call you? I'll let you know if I'm free enough to have dinner or… I don't know. I just really want to see you."</p><p>"Of course. Whenever you're free, just call me," Blaine nodded, and he was far too good and understanding. Kurt wanted to punch himself in the face.</p><p>Kurt kissed him again. It took a lot of effort to walk out the door. He was tempted to just drag Blaine back to bed and let the wedding and whole wide world fix itself.</p><p>Blaine walked him out, and just as Kurt was about to climb down the stairs, he looked over his shoulder. Blaine was leaning against the door, watching him go with an adoring smile on his face, a lot happier than he had been a week ago. He blew him a kiss, and Kurt pretended to catch it.</p><p>He wanted to remember that silly, beautiful smile on Blaine's face for the rest of his days. He felt like he was going to need it.</p><hr/><p>There was only one word Kurt could use to describe that week: <em>hell</em>. He barely had time to stop and grab a bite to eat, so seeing Blaine again and sit him down to tell him about the baby was impossible. They managed to talk on the phone a couple of times, but Kurt couldn't help falling asleep halfway through their conversation, too exhausted to keep his eyes open any longer. Blaine assured him he didn't mind, and Kurt had to admit that there was nothing nicer than falling asleep with Blaine's soft voice in his ear.</p><p>Well, except for falling asleep in his arms, of course.</p><p>By the time Friday rolled around, Kurt was tense and desperate for some time off. Unfortunately, he still had one more wedding that weekend, so relaxing would have to wait. He had miraculously found a solution for the catering catastrophe, though compromises had needed to be made. The happy couple wasn't very happy at all about it, but with so many other things to stress about, Kurt got them to accept to have a more modest dining option.</p><p>He was doing his final round at the venue to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be when his cell phone rang. He accepted the call distractedly.</p><p>"Hummel Weddings, this is Kurt speaking."</p><p>"Hi Kurt!" Rachel's voice was way too bright for his current mood. "How are you? Are you okay? Why did you miss our weekly bar hangout?"</p><p>"Sorry, Rach. It's been… well, one of those weeks," Kurt sighed tiredly. "I promise to make it up to you and the girls soon."</p><p>"It's okay. We were just worried when you texted us to say you couldn't make it but didn't give us a reason why," Rachel replied kindly. "We know you've been in sort of a funk since the whole thing with Blaine, so…"</p><p>"Uh, yeah, about that…" Kurt bit his lip hesitantly. He gestured to one of his workers so she would move a centerpiece a few inches to the right so it would look right. "I'm pretty sure I'm seeing Blaine again?"</p><p>There were a few seconds of silence. Then Rachel cleared her throat. "Is that a question or are you telling me you and Blaine are back together?"</p><p>"It's not a question," Kurt said. "But things are pretty delicate between us, so I wouldn't say we're <em>back together</em> yet."</p><p>"I see. Well, if that's what makes you happy, I'm glad you two are working things out," Rachel muttered diplomatically, and just by her tone of voice, Kurt knew the punch was coming. "I assume Blaine is perfectly okay with the baby, then? I mean, you wouldn't lead him on again after practically breaking the poor guy's heart into a million pieces only to keep lying to him, right?"</p><p>Kurt closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath. "You know, Rach, I have my hands full here, so I'll have to call you back!"</p><p>"Kurt Hummel!" She squeaked indignantly. "Why are you being such an idiot?"</p><p>"I'm not. I promise I'll tell him this time. I just haven't had time to sit with him and tell him, and I didn't want to do it over the phone. But I'm done hiding things from him, Rachel," Kurt said vehemently. "I'm going to have time on Monday, so I was thinking of inviting him over for dinner and talk to him then."</p><p>"Okay… but don't chicken out this time!" Rachel muttered, a threat evident in her voice. "I love you, Kurt, but you're impossible sometimes."</p><p>"The feeling is mutual, Rach," Kurt said tiredly. "I really have to go now. I'll call you as soon as I have enough time to breathe."</p><p>They said goodbye and Kurt allowed himself a few seconds to get back into the right mind set he needed for the day, before he turned around and marched into the kitchen to make sure tonight's dinner wasn't going to be even more of a disaster.</p><hr/><p>Blaine straightened the blue cellophane paper wrapping the bouquet of flowers before he knocked on the door. He felt excited and hopeful in a way he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Kurt wouldn't have come back to him if he didn't care about Blaine. The way things had ended the first time probably had an explanation, and judging from Kurt's voice when he called Blaine to invite him over for dinner, he was getting that explanation tonight.</p><p>The door opened to reveal Kurt in a comfy-looking grey sweater that made his eyes pop and a pair of jeans with strategically placed rips. He looked so beautiful and so casual that Blaine wanted to burrow into his arms and never ever move again.</p><p>"Hi!" Kurt said with a smile as soon as he saw Blaine standing there. "Come on in!"</p><p>"Hi, Kurt," Blaine muttered as he stepped into the apartment. He extended the bouquet of gorgeous chrysanthemums in a range of autumn colors that went from dark red to yellow. "These are for you."</p><p>Kurt accepted the flowers with a pleased smile and a slight blush on his cheeks. "You didn't have to. Thank you so much. These are lovely."</p><p>"I wanted to," Blaine murmured. He wanted to say that it was their thing, after all, but it felt a little presumptuous. "How are you? You sounded so exhausted on the phone when you called yesterday."</p><p>Kurt walked to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers, and Blaine followed, removing his coat. There was a big bag of Thai take-out on the counter and the deliciously spicy smell of the food was already permeating the apartment.</p><p>"Definitely exhausted. I needed a day off," Kurt said as he arranged the flowers in a glass vase carefully. "I hope you're in the mood for Thai food. I didn't have the energy to cook tonight."</p><p>"Of course. I'm always in the mood for Thai," Blaine assured him with an easy smile. He wanted to kiss him, but he wasn't sure if he should make the first move.</p><p>He helped Kurt carry the take-out containers to the living room, and they spread the little white boxes on the coffee table, before sitting on the floor, with their backs pressed against the couch and a silly reality show playing in the background. Kurt opened a bottle of white wine, sighing in contentment at the first sip.</p><p>"So, you survived the weekend of hell," Blaine commented with a quick nudge to Kurt's shoulder. "Do you get to relax a little now or will this week be super busy, too?"</p><p>"No, luckily my next wedding is in two weeks, so there's still some time to breathe and rest from all the insanity," Kurt replied, grinning as if he couldn't think of anything better than that. "How are you?"</p><p>"I'm good," Blaine said, peeking into one of the boxes to see what was inside. He grabbed a little bit of Pad Thai with his chopsticks and popped it into his mouth. "I kept my training light last week, as usual after a fight. But I'm not nearly as bruised as I've been after other fights, so I'm going back to my usual routine this week."</p><p>"You look really good," Kurt said, as his blue eyes examined his face thoroughly. "It doesn't compare at all to the first time I saw you fight."</p><p>They absently switched boxes, and Blaine picked a shrimp. "This fight was quicker and a lot less brutal."</p><p>"True. You won so quickly I practically had no time to freak out," Kurt said with a smile.</p><p>"Well, I had a pretty good incentive," Blaine shrugged. "I just wanted to get off that ring so I could see you."</p><p>It was the right thing to say, if the way Kurt's body seemed to loosen next to his was any indication. He lowered his food and leaned in slightly, just enough to place a sweet kiss on Blaine's lips.</p><p>Blaine felt like he could jump onto the coffee table and dance.</p><p>They talked about their weeks, and then commented the season finale of one of the reality shows they loved to hate-watch, that they had finally managed to catch up on. As they ate, they moved closer and closer together, until Blaine could feel the heat of Kurt's body pressed all along his side, and the way his muscles shifted every time he reached for his glass of wine.</p><p>Blaine insisted on clearing up the table once they were done, and wouldn't allow Kurt to help him. "Just sit there, pick a movie or something for us to watch if you want, and relax. It is your day off, after all."</p><p>Kurt needed very little convincing. He got comfortable on the couch with the remote and started to change the channels. By the time Blaine joined him again, he had found a rerun of Friends. Blaine sat next to him, already smiling as he remembered what the episode was about, but Kurt immediately turned the television off and sat up, shifting so he could face him.</p><p>The serious expression on Kurt's face worried Blaine a little. "Is anything wrong?"</p><p>"No, of course not," Kurt said, reaching for his hand. "I just thought we could talk?"</p><p>"Sure," Blaine mirrored his position, giving Kurt his full attention. Their knees knocked together on the couch. "What did you want to talk about?"</p><p>Kurt looked down at their intertwined hands. "Well, first… I need to apologize for the way I handled things when we… when we broke up. I let you believe there was something wrong with you and that I didn't want to be with you, and that was just awful. It wasn't true. There's nothing wrong with you, Blaine, and I care about you <em>so</em> much…"</p><p>Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand sadly. "You don't have to…"</p><p>"Yes, I do," Kurt interrupted firmly. "I have to apologize. I have to tell you how amazing you are. You're <em>not</em> fucked up, in any way. We all have things to deal with. It doesn't make you any less wonderful than you are, Blaine."</p><p>Blaine felt a little foolish as his cheeks reddened. He lifted Kurt's hand and pressed a tiny kiss to his knuckles, unsure what to say. He didn't think he was wonderful, not really, but there had to be something good about him if Kurt saw them, if Kurt believed them.</p><p>"Thank you," he finally mumbled, because it meant so much to him that Kurt was saying this.</p><p>"No need to thank me," Kurt said warmly. Then he cleared his throat and he focused again on their tangled hands. "And since we're having this conversation, there's something I really want to tell you. Blaine, I… I…"</p><p>Blaine held his breath. He wondered if Kurt was trying to say what he thought he was trying to say. Blaine's whole body vibrated in anticipation, and he forced himself to wait and let Kurt say it. He wanted Kurt to be the first one to say it. The right response was sitting comfortable in the tip of Blaine's tongue, ready to come out: <em>I love you too</em>.</p><p>Kurt paused, and Blaine decided to give him a little push, to show him it was okay to say it, that he wouldn't be rejected.</p><p>"It's okay, Kurt. You can tell me anything," he said, leaning in a bit closer so he could look Kurt in the eyes.</p><p>Kurt nodded, and he seemed more determined. "Blaine, I…"</p><p>There was a knock on the door. Blaine felt like punching a wall. They had been <em>so close</em>. But the look of annoyance in Kurt's face couldn't be compared to what he was feeling.</p><p>"Who the hell is it now?" He exclaimed, irritated, as he stood up and walked to the door.</p><p>Blaine shifted a bit on the couch so he could see, and found a smiling Rachel standing in the hallway when Kurt finally opened the door. She pushed her stroller into the apartment without even saying anything, and Kurt just stared at her with his mouth hanging open.</p><p>"Hello boys!" She said happily. "I'm glad to find you here, Kurt. Something came up and I need someone to babysit Lilah. She loves her uncle Kurt so much that you were my first option! And I know how much you love babies, so I thought you wouldn't mind at all!"</p><p>Kurt looked like he was ready to murder her. Blaine walked towards him and touched his arm lightly.</p><p>"Rachel," Kurt muttered between clenched teeth. "I know what you're doing."</p><p>"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kurt. I simply needed a favor from a dear, dear friend <em>who really likes babies</em>," Rachel replied innocently.</p><p>Blaine looked between them in confusion. "Is everything okay?" He asked.</p><p>"Of course it is!" She said before Kurt could even open his mouth. "I hope you don't mind that I interrupted your date night, Blaine. But Lilah won't bother you at all. She's a sweetheart." She pushed the stroller a little more into the apartment and gave her baby bag to Blaine, who accepted it out of sheer confusion. "Okay! Thanks for doing this, guys! You're amazing! I'll be back later!"</p><p>And she was gone as quickly as she had arrived.</p><p>Blaine looked down into the stroller. Lilah was wide awake – she was a precious little girl with big eyes exactly like her mother's – and stared back at him for a moment, before her lower lip began to wobble, and then she began to cry.</p><p>"Shit," Kurt said under his breath, and reached into the stroller to grab her. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. I'm sorry your mother is a psycho and just dropped you here."</p><p>"Uhm," Blaine glanced at the bag in his hand and back at the crying baby. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. "Is Rachel always like this?"</p><p>"You mean difficult and exasperating?" Kurt asked, and he was clearly in a bad mood. "Yes."</p><p>Kurt took the baby towards the couch. Blaine bit his lip and tried not to be disappointed that their special moment had been interrupted, but it wasn't easy. He shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, not sure what to do now.</p><p>"Can you check if there's a bottle in her bag? Maybe she's hungry," Kurt said distractedly, as he shushed Lilah hoping to calm her.</p><p>Blaine opened the bag and peeked inside. "Uh, yes, there's a bottle, but there's no milk in it."</p><p>Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes at him. "Of course not, silly. There should be some formula in there too to prepare it."</p><p>"Yup, here it is," Blaine said. He watched as Kurt kept trying to get the little girl to stop crying. "Do you, uh, do you want me to make it?"</p><p>"Would you mind? Thank you," Kurt said, looking up at him with grateful eyes.</p><p>Blaine walked into the kitchen, studying the box of formula and trying to figure out how the hell to prepare it. He grabbed the kettle and filled it with water, putting it to boil. As soon as it was ready, he measured the amount of formula he was supposed to use and poured it into the bottle, immediately pouring the water afterwards. He mixed it carefully, brow furrowed in concentration, and then took it back to Kurt.</p><p>Kurt smiled up at him. Lilah was still crying, but a lot more quietly. "Thanks, honey," Kurt muttered, accepting the bottle. He bared one of his wrists and let a few drops of formula fall onto his skin. "Ow, holy fuck!" He exclaimed, and that made Lilah cry harder again.</p><p>"What? What happened?" Blaine asked, alarmed.</p><p>"It's too hot! Did you let it boil too long?" Kurt said.</p><p>"I… I don't know," Blaine answered. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's fine," Kurt sighed. He gestured towards the bag again. "Her favorite doll should be in there. That should distract her while the bottle cools down a little."</p><p>Blaine found a pretty blue-haired soft doll in the bag. He held it in front of Lilah and tried to smile. "Hey, little girl. Look. Look who I've got here!"</p><p>Lilah reached for the doll, only to throw it back to Blaine's face.</p><p>Blaine couldn't help the little pang of disappointment that travelled through him. "She hates me, wow. I'm a lot more awful with children than I thought I was."</p><p>"She's just in a mood. Her mother abandoned her with us and she's hungry. She'll be fine," Kurt replied, picking up the doll again. This time, Lilah accepted it.</p><p>"I should probably just go home," Blaine said, uncomfortable.</p><p>Kurt's eyes widened a little. "But… I thought you'd want to stay the night."</p><p>"Yeah, but I feel like I'm just in the way now," Blaine tried to smile so Kurt wouldn't see just how out of place he felt. "You can take care of Lilah and I'll see you later this week? Maybe on Wednesday?"</p><p>"I really wanted to spend some time with you. There was actually something, uhm, quite important I wanted to tell you," Kurt looked away sheepishly, and Blaine's heart melted a little. "Here, why don't you grab Lilah, so I can go to the kitchen and remake the formula? That way she'll go to sleep soon and we can keep talking about…"</p><p>But as soon as Kurt made the move to pass Lilah into Blaine's arm, the little girl held on tightly to her uncle and wailed. Blaine took a step back, a little horrified at her reaction.</p><p>"Oh, Lilah, come on…" Kurt said, now a little exasperated.</p><p>"I'll just go," Blaine said, and immediately walked towards the door. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"</p><p>"Blaine, please," Kurt murmured, sadly.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I'm no help, and you're clearly a lot better at handling babies than I am. I've never… they kind of freak me out, to be honest," Blaine muttered, as he put on his coat. "I'll call you tomorrow. Thanks for dinner, Kurt."</p><p>Blaine fled from the apartment as quickly as he could, feeling frustrated and disappointed at how the night had ended after going so well. He knew he should have stayed and helped Kurt, but he had never felt so useless in his life as when that tiny little version of Rachel Berry threw a doll at his face.</p><p>If Blaine had turned around before letting the door close behind him on his way out, he would have seen the brokenhearted look on Kurt's face as he walked away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rachel Berry was a <em>genius</em>. Any day now someone would give her a Best Friend Ever Award. She just wished her friends didn't need to be constantly pushed in order to take care of their own lives. She had enough to deal with her own, fabulous as it was. But these were the cards she had been dealt – she had been born talented, caring, intelligent and compassionate. When her friends needed her help, she was there. And Kurt had been in desperate need of her help. Their last phone call had clearly been a cry for help.</p><p>As Rachel walked to Kurt's apartment door a couple of hours later to pick her baby up, she grinned. She was sure she was about to interrupt a beautiful scene, in which Kurt and Blaine made loving eyes at each other as they held her daughter and fantasized about the moment they would get to hold their own baby. Kurt would have told him the truth by now, and Blaine had surely proposed, so they could start their family as soon as possible. She would grab her child and then leave them to have a passionate night of newly-engaged sex…</p><p>When she knocked on the door, however, Kurt's face was nowhere near happy. He was fuming, and glared at her pointedly.</p><p>"I'm very tempted to never talk to you ever again, Rachel," he said threateningly. "I have never been so mad at you before in my life."</p><p>She blinked in confusion and peeked into the apartment to buy some time. "Uhm. Where's Blaine?"</p><p>"He <em>left</em>," Kurt replied sharply. "Why do you always have to stick your nose into everyone's business? We were having a perfectly good night until you arrived!"</p><p>Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, uncomfortable. "I thought it was going to help? You two would get all adorable and domestic with Lilah and he would obviously be a lot mellower once you told him about your baby? And then everything would be alright?"</p><p>"Well, you couldn't have been more wrong," Kurt spat bitterly.</p><p>Rachel finally noticed how red-rimmed his eyes were, and she forgot about being terrified of her best friend's wrath. "Oh no. Kurt… what happened?" She pushed him into the apartment gently so they wouldn't stay there in the middle of the hallway, and guided him to the couch.</p><p>"He doesn't like babies," Kurt muttered, and it was obvious he was having trouble to stop himself from crying again. "He couldn't have got out of here any faster. Lilah kept crying every time he even looked at her…"</p><p>"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," Rachel said, truly regretting what she had done.</p><p>Kurt sniffed and shrugged, not looking at her. "I really thought things were going to be okay this time, Rach."</p><p>"So you didn't even get to tell him?" Rachel bit her lip, feeling terrible.</p><p>"No. I was about to tell him when you arrived," Kurt sighed and let his head fall back onto the couch. "The way he was looking at me… it seemed that I could tell him anything, and he still wouldn't have let go of my hand."</p><p>Rachel's stomach twisted with guilt. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. I can talk to him! I can tell him about the baby! I can tell him how amazing babies are! I can…"</p><p>"No," Kurt interrupted before she could list all the amazing ideas she was having. "No. Please, stay out of this. I know you had good intentions, but you can't keep meddling in your friends' lives, Rachel."</p><p>Rachel had always been the most petite person she knew. But she still had never felt as small as she felt right then. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I really am."</p><p>"I know," Kurt sounded tired and defeated, and Rachel really hated that sound. "Can you go home? I want to be alone. Lilah fell asleep so I put her in my bedroom."</p><p>Rachel knew it was better not to argue. She nodded and quickly went into Kurt's room to get her daughter. She kissed her forehead and put her in the stroller without waking her. Before heading to the front door, Rachel stopped in the middle of the living room and watched Kurt silently for a second. He was still in the same position, his eyes closed and a sad frown on his lips.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she whispered one more time, but when Kurt didn't even reply, she just left.</p><p>Her instincts told her she had to do something to make it up to him, but she was too scared to screw things up even more.</p><hr/><p>Kurt was feeling torn and a little desperate by the time he saw Blaine again on Wednesday. He had no idea what to do now – telling Blaine felt like removing the safety pin off a hand grenade and waiting for the explosion.</p><p>They met at a little restaurant that was halfway between Kurt's office and Blaine's apartment. They greeted each other with a slightly awkward kiss, and Kurt wished they could go back to how warm and wonderful the other night had been. At least, until Rachel had ruined everything…</p><p>He had brought a bouquet of flowers for Blaine this time. He felt guilty and awful about the whole thing, but something inside of him became lighter at the beautiful smile that bloomed on Blaine's face at the sight of gorgeous red and yellow roses.</p><p>"Oh, Kurt…" Blaine said in a sweet whisper. "Thank you."</p><p>Blaine seemed a lot less distant then, and Kurt allowed himself to feel better. They would figure things out, one way or the other. And if they had to take different roads and put an end to this, then at least they could have a fond memory of the time they had spent together, right?</p><p>Kurt wished the idea of saying goodbye to Blaine didn't make him want to throw up.</p><p>They were sat at a cozy table in the corner. The restaurant was small and relatively new, so the atmosphere was quite intimate. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand in his on top of the table and smiled as he looked into his eyes. Sometimes Kurt forgot just how damn beautiful Blaine was, and then he was reminded and he couldn't breathe.</p><p>They ordered salads and water, because Blaine couldn't stray from his diet too much. The conversation was easy and comfortable, but Kurt knew Blaine could notice there was something in the air between them that wouldn't dissipate. He had no idea what he was going to do if Blaine asked him about it.</p><p>After dinner, they walked hand in hand to Blaine's apartment. It all seemed so normal, like they had been dating forever and this was just another night. When they arrived at Blaine's place, Blaine put his arms around him and pulled him closer to kiss him, before walking to the kitchen to find a vase for his flowers.</p><p>They undressed slowly and got into bed, easily gravitating towards each other in the darkness. Blaine's hands were warm on Kurt's skin, and it wasn't long before they were breathing heavily into each other's mouths and needing more than just a little touch. Blaine ended lying on his side, with Kurt behind him, fucking him hard and slow and holding him close to his chest. When they were done, they fell asleep tangled together, and everything felt like it had fallen into place.</p><p>All except one thing – the most important thing.</p><hr/><p>There was a hidden little bodega just around the corner from Blaine's apartment that they both loved. Every now and then, they allowed themselves to spurge on chicken enchiladas and tacos. That was why Kurt was standing in line behind another handful of stressed New Yorkers, waiting to pick up the order he had placed on the phone an hour ago while he was still in the office.</p><p>Both he and Blaine had had a very, very long day – Kurt's filled with anxiety-driven brides that would soon make him go insane, and Blaine's with a new trainee that obviously came from a very wealthy family and was used to treat everyone as a servant. Kurt was sure that Blaine would soon knock the kid down back to reality, but that didn't mean it made today easier.</p><p>"I actually asked Carlos if someone else could train him," Blaine had said on the phone when they spoke during their too brief lunch break. "But apparently he asked specifically for me – he must have heard about my last two fights."</p><p>"Well, you are the best, after all," Kurt had said fondly, hoping to make Blaine smile. "And if you have the Kurt Hummel seal of approval, then…"</p><p>Blaine had chuckled. <em>Mission accomplished</em>, Kurt thought. "Why, of course. You're always right, darling."</p><p>Blaine deserved a blowjob, Kurt had decided right then. A blowjob and a delicious meal, not particularly in that order.</p><p>That was why he was standing here even though he wanted nothing more than to drop down on a couch and not interact with the rest of the world until the next day. He glared at the back of the five people still in front of them, and wished they would hurry up.</p><p>Kurt was beginning to tap his foot impatiently against the wooden floor when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He extracted it – not without difficulty; these were his tightest jeans – and his eyebrows raised all the way to his hairline when he saw who was calling him. He accepted the call before he could even figure out if it was a good idea or not.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Kurt, hi!" Cooper's chipper voice said on the other end. "How are you? Am I interrupting anything?"</p><p>"I'm just waiting to pick up our dinner," Kurt answered distractedly, watching as the line moved very, very slowly. Damn it. "How are you, Cooper?"</p><p>"Oh, you're seeing Blaine tonight, then?" Cooper murmured, and he was obviously trying to sound nonchalant. For someone who claimed to be such an amazing actor, he was way too transparent. "I'm good, I'm good… how is he?"</p><p>"Well, you know your brother," Kurt said, hiking his messenger bag higher on his shoulder so it wouldn't slip. "He is mostly okay."</p><p>"Mostly," Cooper repeated, like he was testing the word. "Yeah, I know."</p><p>There was a moment of silent. One of the customers in front of Kurt walked away with their food, and Kurt moved forward. He was almost at the counter before he sighed and couldn't resist the pause anymore.</p><p>"Was there a reason you called, Cooper?" He asked, trying his best to be polite, even though his patience had run out hours ago.</p><p>"Actually, yes," Cooper cleared his throat quite loudly. "I was wondering if we could meet? Maybe for coffee or lunch? There's this lovely café just a couple of blocks from the theatre that I'm sure you would like."</p><p>Kurt was a little surprised at Cooper's invitation. He had a feeling this wasn't just a social outing. There was something else. "I don't know. I have a lot of work, and I…"</p><p>"Please," Cooper interrupted, and the hint of despair in his tone told Kurt he was right. "I won't steal too much of your time. I just want to talk about Blaine, know how he's doing…"</p><p>"I'm not sure we should meet behind his back. He wouldn't appreciate it," Kurt muttered hesitantly.</p><p>"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to share," Cooper insisted. "I just need to… he's my brother, Kurt. Please."</p><p>Kurt closed his eyes for a second, stealing himself for this. He knew it was bound to get him into trouble, but he could see how hard this was for Cooper, how much he cared about his brother, and how difficult things were between them.</p><p>Kurt wasn't sure where exactly he fit in all this, but since he seemed to be involved already, it wasn't like he had many options. He sighed. "Fine. Where is this café?"</p><p>He swore he could <em>hear</em> Cooper smiling through the phone.</p><hr/><p>Cooper was already waiting for him when Kurt stepped into the café the next day. He had to juggle the binders he was carrying to open and close the door – he had a day full with meetings and no time to stop by his office to lighten his load. Cooper immediately stood and walked towards him to aid him when he saw him.</p><p>"Whoa, you should just carry a suitcase around all day," Cooper said with a teasing smile.</p><p>"Thank you," Kurt murmured in relief as he let himself fall into the chair opposite the one Cooper had been sitting at. "It's just one of those days, nothing I can't handle."</p><p>Cooper shook his head, visibly amused. "You're one of a kind, Kurt Hummel."</p><p>Kurt rolled his eyes. "As much as I like a compliment, I didn't come all the way here just to hear something I already know. What's up, Cooper?"</p><p>Noticing Kurt wanted to get down to business, Cooper straightened in his seat and tangled his hands on top of the table. "I want your help."</p><p>Kurt arched his eyebrow, but before he could say anything, a waitress stopped by their table to take their orders. Kurt was going to wave her off – he honestly didn't have time for this – but Cooper smiled at her charmingly and took care of it for the both of them.</p><p>"Two lattes and two cinnamon rolls, please," he said, not even bothering glancing at Kurt to check if that was what he wanted.</p><p>Kurt wanted to protest, but he knew there was no use. Cooper had ordered for him every single time they had met when they were going through wedding plans. Instead, he looked out the window to the busy New York City street. It was a very cold day, and Kurt wondered if they would get snow earlier this year.</p><p>As soon as they were alone again, Kurt turned back to Cooper. "What kind of help?"</p><p>"I want you to talk to Blaine," Cooper said, determined. "I… I'm done with whatever this dispute is between us. I want my brother back."</p><p>"And why do I have to talk to him?" Kurt asked, a little taken aback.</p><p>"Because it's obvious you're the only person he will listen to," Cooper replied confidently. "I have no idea how to reach out to him anymore, Kurt. Whenever I try I end up with the door – or worst, his fist – slammed on my face."</p><p>"I can't make Blaine do anything he doesn't want to do, Cooper. I don't know what kind of voodoo power you think I have on him, but…" Kurt raised his hands defensively. Getting between the Anderson brothers sounded like a very stupid idea.</p><p>"He loves you," Cooper said, shrugging as if it was the simplest thing in the whole word. "He'll listen to you."</p><p>Kurt felt his breath shortened at that. Blaine didn't… it wasn't like that… "Cooper, I don't think…"</p><p>He was lucky that the waitress returned then with their order. It gave him time to calm his wildly beating heart and pretend he hadn't become light-headed after what Cooper had said.</p><p>"Please," Cooper pleaded, desperate. "You're my only chance, Kurt. I don't know what else to do."</p><p>"I don't either," Kurt admitted, pushing away his own turmoil in favor of Cooper's. "Blaine won't stop hurting if I just tell him to. This is… he's been suffering for years, Cooper. This is clearly a family issue, and I don't believe I should intervene."</p><p>"I've been trying to reach out to him since he was still a kid, Kurt. He rejects me. He hates me. Help me understand. What did I do so wrong?" Cooper rested his head in his hands, burying his fingers in his dark locks. "I showed him how to defend himself when he was getting bullied, I was there for him when he had health issues. I moved to New York when I knew he wanted to live here, I even dropped my Hollywood career to be on Broadway, because I knew he loved that and…"</p><p>"Wait," Kurt interrupted, blinking stupidly at Cooper. "You became a Broadway actor because of Blaine?"</p><p>"Well, yes! I thought if I showed him I understood his passions he would accept me back into his life," Cooper explained, glancing at Kurt with confused blue eyes. "I never really liked Broadway, I just wanted to…"</p><p>"Oh, you big idiot," Kurt muttered tiredly. He leaned back in his seat and stared at Cooper, incredulous. "That's one of the reasons he's so upset with you, Cooper."</p><p>"What?" Cooper seemed genuinely perplexed. "Why?!"</p><p>"Are you kidding me?" Kurt truly couldn't understand how Cooper couldn't see what was wrong with it. "Blaine suddenly has every single one of his dreams ripped away from him, and you think that doing exactly what he cannot do you are showing him support? He feels like you always got everything he ever wanted – your parents' support, the career he loved…"</p><p>"No," Cooper shook his head vehemently. "No, Kurt. I didn't… I thought…"</p><p>"You really are clueless," Kurt sighed, rubbing his temple. "Cooper, for the love of God, how could you think this would help you? He's not flattered that you left everything to do what he loved. He feels betrayed."</p><p>"So I've been on Broadway for my little brother for over five years now and he actually hates me for it?" Cooper asked, as if he needed further clarification.</p><p>Kurt was seriously thinking about slapping him to bring him down to earth. "Yes, Cooper."</p><p>"Oh shit," Cooper groaned.</p><p>Kurt actually felt bad for Cooper. He didn't have bad intentions – he was just too self-involved and oblivious. He was a really great guy, but sometimes he had trouble acknowledging that there were other people around him who didn't see the world just like he did.</p><p>He reached out and squeezed Cooper's hand comfortingly for a few seconds. "So, what are you going to do now?"</p><p>Cooper seemed at a loss for words, which was completely new. He let out a long sigh, and then looked at Kurt with those deep blue eyes. "I have no idea. I have a lot to think, but… will you help me? Can you talk to him?"</p><p>Kurt was torn. What was he supposed to do? He didn't think Blaine would be happy to know he and Cooper were in cahoots to get the brothers reconciled. But Cooper looked so miserable that he didn't want to make things even worse.</p><p>He lifted his latte to take a sip, and said, as uncommitted as he could, "Fine. But I can't make any promises."</p><p>The entire café turned to look at them when Cooper whooped and jumped out of his chair to hold Kurt tightly, practically hauling him out of his seat.</p><p>Kurt was sure that he was going to regret those words.</p><hr/><p>It seemed like Kurt had nothing but shitty weeks ahead of him. He had spent another very extenuating day dealing with a couple that was most likely never making it to the altar – Kurt was amazed that they had even made it to an engagement, because he had never met two people who had less in common in his entire life. They couldn't agree on a single thing, and every little question he asked seemed to give them a new reason to disagree and argue. He had the worst headache and he was thinking of retiring early and doing something else with his life.</p><p>Why had he ever thought that being a wedding planner was a good idea?</p><p>He would have gone straight home – a bath sounded heavenly right now – but he had already promised Blaine that he would stay over, so he headed to his apartment, hoping Blaine had food, because he was honestly starving.</p><p>As soon as Blaine opened the door, Kurt knew something was wrong. He entered the apartment quickly, frowning as he studied Blaine's face.</p><p>"What's wrong, honey? Did something happen?" Kurt asked, putting down his bag and unbuttoning his coat.</p><p>Blaine went into the living room. He began pacing like a caged beast that was desperate to get out and start looking for a prey. He was breathing heavily, and Kurt didn't have to touch him to know all his muscles were clenched painfully, tensed.</p><p>"Blaine?" Kurt said, because it didn't even seem like Blaine was paying him any attention. He followed, but didn't get in Blaine's way, wanting to give him space.</p><p>He hadn't noticed Blaine's laptop open on the coffee table until Blaine grabbed it brusquely and spin it so Kurt could see the screen. "Would you be so kind as to tell me what the fuck is that?"</p><p>Kurt was shocked at his tone of voice, but curiosity won over indignation. He leaned over to take a better look, and immediately felt himself going pale. "Oh…"</p><p>There were three pictures of him and Cooper on the screen. The first one was of them simply chatting, but the second and third were enough to understand where Blaine's anger was coming from: someone had captured the moment Kurt had reached for Cooper's hand, and the quick but affectionate hug Cooper had given him once he sort-of-agreed to help him.</p><p>He vaguely scanned the title of the page where the pictures had been published – <em>Broadway star Cooper Anderson shares a touchy-feely lunch with unknown friend</em>.</p><p>Paparazzi really were the worst of the worst.</p><p>"Blaine… it's not what it looks like," Kurt said, and grimaced when he realized that was what someone would say when it <em>was</em> what it looked like.</p><p>"When were you going to tell me you met with my brother?" Blaine asked, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>Kurt tried to act completely unimpressed. "Excuse me? I didn't know I had to tell you everything I did…"</p><p>"You know that's not what I mean," Blaine huffed, irritated. "But I can't imagine why you would need to meet with Cooper. You aren't friends."</p><p>"He clearly seems to think we are," Kurt muttered, but when that didn't get any reactions from Blaine, he sighed. "Look, we just met for coffee, talked for a bit. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it, so I decided not to tell you…"</p><p>Blaine chuckled bitterly. "So you lied to me."</p><p>"Uh, no, I wouldn't say exactly that," Kurt said, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. "Look, I'm sorry if it bothers you, but…"</p><p>"Bother me?" Blaine repeated, staring at Kurt like he didn't know him. "Oh no, Kurt, of course not. Why would it bother me that you met with Cooper? Besides the fact that he's a fucking asshole, of course."</p><p>"He's not so bad," Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. "He's a little self-centered, but…"</p><p>"I can't believe you," Blaine was practically gaping at him. "Are you going to defend him?"</p><p>"Blaine, please," Kurt said, exasperated. "I don't want to get in between a very old argument that has nothing to do with me. Cooper just wanted to talk. He called me and asked if I would have coffee with him, so I went. Please don't make this any bigger than it needs to be…"</p><p>Blaine turned around, giving his back to Kurt. "Right. Right, there's nothing wrong with this picture. I mean, Cooper pretty much already took everything from me, why wouldn't he try to get you, too? I wouldn't put it past him to seduce you, even though he isn't gay. He must really love seeing me suffer…"</p><p>"Blaine, don't be silly… he is not…" Kurt tried to reason, but Blaine wouldn't listen.</p><p>"I thought everything was okay between us now," Blaine said, turning back to Kurt, his hazel eyes fixed on Kurt's.</p><p>Kurt shook his head, feeling a little dizzy with the way things were developing. "I… yes, it is…"</p><p>"No, it is not," Blaine said firmly. "Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't notice when you hide things from me? Because I do, Kurt. And I've been waiting for you to tell me what the hell is going on, but you never do. So, what is it? Is it Cooper? Or are you hiding something else from me?"</p><p>Things probably couldn't have been worse than they were. Blaine was obviously feeling hurt, confused and betrayed. He looked at Kurt like he had stabbed him in the back, and Kurt hated that look. But the worst part was knowing that Blaine was right – Kurt had been hiding stuff from him, and his coffee with Cooper wasn't even the biggest one.</p><p>Kurt's stomach knotted painfully. He didn't want to tell Blaine – not after what had happened with Lilah, and especially not when he was acting like this.</p><p>"I know you've been through a lot, Blaine, but that doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life being mad at the people who love you," Kurt said, realizing that there would never be a better time to try to pass on Cooper's message than now. "Cooper loves you more than anyone else in this world – he's a little inefficient when it comes to finding ways to show you that, but he truly cares about you. I think you should…"</p><p>"No," Blaine interrupted him, and his breathing was getting faster, more ragged, like he was having a hard time working the air in and out of his lungs. "I don't want to hear it.</p><p>"Blaine…"</p><p>"No," Blaine said once again. They both stared at each other for what seemed like the longest second in history, and then Blaine marched towards the front door and opened it. "I think you should go."</p><p>Kurt was a little taken aback at that. He hadn't expected Blaine to kick him out. Whenever things got difficult, Blaine seemed to try to hold on to him. He couldn't ignore the ache spreading all through him, realizing that Blaine didn't want him there. Blaine didn't want to see him.</p><p>Kurt wanted to apologize, but he wasn't sure what to apologize for. He wanted to assure Blaine that he'd had the best intentions, but he wasn't sure if he would trust him. He wanted to say that he hadn't meant to hurt him, but he had been hiding more than his encounter with Cooper for a long time now.</p><p>Kurt wanted to pull him into his arms, kiss his forehead and promise everything would be alright, but he didn't think Blaine would believe him.</p><p>To be honest, Kurt didn't believe it, either.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A hand was waved in front of Kurt's eyes, snapping him from his daze. He found himself staring at Tanya's face, who was watching him, clearly amused.</p><p>"Are you here, Kurt?" She asked with a smile. "You look like you're in another planet."</p><p>Kurt ran a hand through his hair, and immediately regretted it. He had styled it perfectly before leaving his apartment and now it was probably ruined. "Yes, yes, sorry. I'm right here."</p><p>Tanya placed a hand on her voluminous belly and leaned back on her chair, trying to get comfortable. "But are you okay? Because you look a little upset."</p><p>"I'm just a little stressed. Nothing's wrong," Kurt lied. He wasn't about to burden Tanya with his problems. "How are you? Are you taking the vitamins the doctor suggested?"</p><p>"Yes, everything's perfect. I've been taking excellent care of myself and your little munchkin," Tanya assured him. "Though I will be so grateful once this ends – it's been playing soccer with my bladder for like two weeks now. I have to pee every twenty minutes…" She paused, frowned and sighed. "See? I have to pee right now."</p><p>She stood and walked towards the bathroom without another word, as Kurt watched her in amusement. But the lightness in his mood didn't last long – he was again assaulted by thoughts of Blaine as soon as Tanya wasn't there to distract him.</p><p>He fished his cell phone out of his pocket, to check for the thousandth time if he had missed any messages or calls. He had sent Blaine a message yesterday to apologize and ask for a chance to talk, but Blaine hadn't replied. Kurt started wondering if maybe Blaine was done with him, once and for all.</p><p>Something inside of Kurt seemed to break at the idea of Blaine not being a part of his life anymore. He knew he owed him the truth, and he thought that the last thing he could do to honor how amazing Blaine had been to him was giving it to him.</p><p>He opened a new message.</p><p>
  <em>To: Blaine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you're probably still upset, but I really want to talk to you. Please. Can I call you tonight?</em>
</p><p>He pocketed the phone when he saw Tanya walking back towards him. She was radiant, as cliché as that sounded. Kurt had always thought she was a pretty girl, but lately she was stunningly beautiful.</p><p>She was about to sit down next to him when the doctor called her name.</p><p>Tanya smiled down at him and offered him her hand. "Are you ready to see your kid again?"</p><p>Kurt smiled the most genuine smile that had bloomed on his lips since he had last seen Blaine. "Always."</p><hr/><p>The cold rain seemed to seep through Blaine's coat, rising goose bumps on his skin and making him wish he could go back home instead of pushing the gym's heavy door open. But if there was one thing he had learned in all these years, was that unless he was hurt, training would not be interrupted. And the truth was, even if he felt lazy and jaded, the distraction was more than welcomed.</p><p>Other people must not have shared his opinion, because the gym was emptier than usual. He took off his coat and walked towards his locker to leave his bag, making sure his cell phone was buried deep in one of the pockets.</p><p>Kurt had been sending him messages all week, but Blaine couldn't even look at them.</p><p>He was being stupid, he knew. There had to be a perfectly good explanation for what had happened. But Blaine was never very rational when it came to his family, and he couldn't deny that seeing those pictures of Kurt and Cooper had almost made him sick.</p><p>Cooper had taken everything he had ever loved from him – did he really need to take the man Blaine so desperately loved as well?</p><p>Logically, Blaine knew there was nothing going on between them. Cooper was the straightest guy he had ever met, and he knew his brother loved his wife, even if he hadn't seen them together before or after their wedding. But Kurt was supposed to have been the one thing that hadn't been tainted by his past – Blaine had hoped he would be his fresh start, his one happy ending.</p><p>Well, Blaine should have remembered that happy endings were bullshit.</p><p>He changed into his workout clothes before heading to the treadmill. It was too cold to run at the park, which made him sad. He had always liked running outdoors more. He had the feeling it would be snowing before Thanksgiving…</p><p>And oh, he definitely wasn't eager for the holidays.</p><p>By mid-morning, as he was working through his weight-lifting routine – the rain had slowly morphed into a storm. He couldn't see out of the windows, the city swallowed by a curtain of water and lighting. Blaine didn't mind as much – it kind of fit his mood, after all.</p><p>"Blaine?"</p><p>He startled at the sound of his name, and threw his head back on the bench to be able to see who was standing behind him. Cooper was the very last person he had been expecting, to be honest.</p><p>Blaine put the weights down a little brusquely. "What do you want? I'm busy."</p><p>Cooper shifted from one foot to the other, visibly uncomfortable. He was wearing a very expensive-looking black coat that gave him the air of a Golden Age Hollywood star. He was holding an umbrella, which explained how his luscious locks had escaped from the storm.</p><p>"I was hoping we could talk," Cooper replied simply.</p><p>Blaine arched an eyebrow. "I think it was very, very clear that I didn't want to talk to you."</p><p>"Well, then it sucks for you, Squirt, because I do want to talk to you," Cooper said, shrugging as if he didn't care.</p><p>Blaine stood from the bench, crossed his arms over his chest and faced his brother. "Don't call me that."</p><p>"This silly little dispute between us has gone too far," Cooper said, frowning. He looked upset about it. "And I'm afraid my last attempt at getting closer to you may have ended a little badly."</p><p>Blaine didn't say anything. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to be part of this conversation or not.</p><p>"I talked to Kurt last night," Cooper said, and oh, no, Blaine definitely didn't want to take part in this. "He said you two argued after you saw some pictures of me and him online."</p><p>Blaine turned around, walked to the punching bag and grabbed his gloves from where he had left them earlier that morning. He began fastening them, not paying much attention to his brother, who trailed behind him.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I caused trouble between you two, but I needed to talk to him," Cooper continued. He stood at a safe distance once Blaine started going at it on the punching bag. "I figured he was my only option, and I truly needed his help."</p><p>"I don't care, Cooper. Please leave," Blaine muttered between clenched teeth.</p><p>"Look, Blaine, I'm going to be a hundred percent honest here," Cooper sighed and opened his arms, as if he was showing how vulnerable he was. "I spent the past few years trying to get my little brother back, but I have run out of ideas. Kurt has informed me that most of them were pretty misguided, actually. I'm sorry for being such a clueless idiot, but I really, really love you, Squirt, and not having you in my life is killing me."</p><p>"I'm sure you'll be fine," Blaine replied, as he hit the bag as hard as he could. "You have mom and dad, and a perfect wife, and the perfect career, and a perfect life…"</p><p>"No," Cooper interrupted, and he sounded a lot more serious now. "I won't get to have a perfect life until you're part of it again. Please, Blaine, just give me a chance…"</p><p>Blaine ignored him. He could feel the flames of anger lapping teasingly at his insides, trying to provoke him, but he stayed put. Punching Cooper wouldn't solve anything. It wouldn't teach his brother a lesson. It would only make everyone see that Cooper was still the best out of the two, that Blaine was the fucked up one who couldn't even hold a conversation with his brother.</p><p>With another sigh, Cooper carefully removed his coat and placed it on a bench nearby, with the umbrella next to it. He began to roll up the sleeves of his grey cashmere sweater.</p><p>Blaine hugged the bag as he tried to get back some air. "What the hell are you doing?"</p><p>"Let's get up there," Cooper said, gesturing towards the ring. "You want to punch me? Fine, let's do it. If that's what makes you feel better. If that's what helps make things even between us."</p><p>Blaine huffed in annoyance. "Are you an idiot? Hitting you right on your stupid face won't change anything."</p><p>"That's not what you seemed to think the last time I tried to visit you at your place," Cooper said, with an edge of mockery in his voice that only made Blaine angrier. "Come on."</p><p>Cooper tried to climb through the ropes gracefully, but mostly ended getting tangled in them. Blaine watched him, not sure if he wanted to laugh or just push him out of the gym – and his life – and into the storm.</p><p>Bouncing a little in the middle of the rung, Cooper raised his fists close to his face. "What are you waiting for? Come teach your older brother a lesson, if you can."</p><p>Blaine was very unimpressed. He considered simply walking away and continuing with his workout, but he knew Cooper was very stubborn when he wanted something. So instead, Blaine reached for a spare pair of gloves and threw them to his brother.</p><p>Cooper's face lit up with excitement as he caught them. He put them on quickly. "That's what I'm talking about! Alright, Squirt! Show me what you got!"</p><p>Blaine didn't need to be told twice. He got into the ring and advanced on his brother, throwing a quick jab at him, mostly to make him lose his balance. "Don't. Call. Me. That."</p><p>Cooper quickly put his gloved hands in front of his face to shield himself. "I'm sorry for getting Kurt involved. I had no right to ask him for his help, but I was a little desperate."</p><p>Blaine changed tactics and aimed for Cooper's stomach instead. "He was the one thing you hadn't ruined. And now…"</p><p>"Now, what?" Cooper asked, landing a punch on Blaine's side that surprised his little brother. "Just because he was too nice to reject a coffee invitation, you're going to dump him? Let him go? I thought you were smarter than that, Squirt."</p><p>Blaine was furious. He made Cooper back off until he had him against the ropes. "He knows how I feel about you."</p><p>"Oh yeah? And how do you feel about me?" Cooper asked, way too chipper to be trapped between his brother's fists and the ropes.</p><p>"You're a selfish asshole," Blaine spat madly. Cooper used Blaine's slight distraction to revert the roles, and soon Blaine was the one being backed to the corner. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?" He asked, half impressed, half annoyed.</p><p>"I almost landed the lead in Rocky the Musical," Cooper replied. "I had to learn how to box."</p><p>The mention of Cooper's career made Blaine even angrier. "Almost," he repeated. "Did the casting directors see how full of crap you were?"</p><p>"Probably," Cooper admitted, far too easily. "I wasn't really interested in the part. I just… I really miss Hollywood."</p><p>Blaine gritted his teeth. "Then why don't you go back? Nobody needs you here, Cooper."</p><p>"I accepted Broadway because I thought it would bring me closer to you…" Cooper explained, making Blaine hesitate for a second. They both stopped trying to punch each other and simply stood there, panting harshly. "I'm not a Broadway actor. I don't like theatre. It's exhausting and boring…"</p><p>Blaine saw red for a second. He threw a fast jab at his brother's stomach, making Cooper bend in two in pain. "What the fuck does that even mean? Did you do it just because you could and <em>I</em> couldn't?"</p><p>Cooper raised a hand between them, trying to catch a break so he could <em>breathe</em>. "What? Are you crazy?" He said, wheezing a little. "I had no idea how to reach out. You were a completely different person, and you were so <em>hurt</em>…"</p><p>"So you just stole my dream?" Blaine asked, and he realized his voice was getting louder, but he couldn't help it. "You just thought, hey, what else could I possibly do to make my little brother's life miserable? Oh, I know, being on Broadway when he can't will sure as hell finish him!"</p><p>Cooper lifted his head to look at him, his blue eyes wide and sad. "Blaine, no. I would never…"</p><p>"But that's what you did," Blaine interrupted. "Why should I believe you? Mom and Dad were so obviously relieved that I wasn't going to be able to pursue a career on Broadway anymore…"</p><p>"Blaine, you had <em>cancer</em>," Cooper murmured, completely horrified. "We thought we were going to lose you. Do you think any of us was worried about what you wanted to do for a living? We just wanted you to <em>live</em>."</p><p>Blaine just stared at him for a moment, as if <em>that</em> was the hardest thing to believe. Then he simply ripped one of his gloves open with his teeth, and began to take it off.</p><p>"That's what you've been living with for the past ten years?" Cooper asked, and the pain in his voice seemed to hit Blaine like a fist to the stomach. "You've been thinking that we were <em>glad</em> you had cancer because you wouldn't be able to sing on Broadway anymore?"</p><p>Blaine started working on the other glove. "Well, Mom and Dad were already disappointed because I was gay, so let's just add that and…"</p><p>Cooper shook his head, frowned, and landed a punch on Blaine's shoulder, taking him by surprise. "You idiot! We love you! Mom and Dad may not be the most loving parents in the world, but they've been worried sick about you for years! And I might be the biggest clueless asshole ever, but everything I did was a way to show you how much I cared about you!"</p><p>"You have a very awful way of showing that, Cooper," Blaine huffed, irritated, rubbing at the spot where Cooper had hit him.</p><p>"The four of us seriously need to sit down and solve all of this," Cooper said, removing his own gloves. "And you need to stop pushing us away – we're your family, damn it. We love you just the way you are."</p><p>Blaine didn't know what to say. He had spent so many years believing his family preferred to see him sick instead of living a life they didn't approve of, that he couldn't conceive the possibility of having being wrong all this time. He had been so angry – at his parents, at Cooper, at himself, at life for the way it had kicked him when he was already lying helpless on the ground – that he had never stopped to think about things rationally. He had just exploded and let everything he ever cared about shatter around him.</p><p>Just like his relationship with Kurt. He had felt so betrayed and hurt, that he never gave Kurt a chance to explain. He had kicked him out of his apartment, most likely ruining what they had built together.</p><p>Blaine really needed to learn how to deal with his emotions without these disastrous explosions. There had to be a healthier way…</p><p>Cooper clapped his hands together and gave Blaine a bright smile that looked a little out of place. "So! Is everything okay now? Can I have my brother back? I was thinking you could come have dinner with us on Monday nights? Make it a weekly thing? We have a lot of catching up to do…"</p><p>Blaine snatched the gloves out of Cooper's grip and turned to climb down from the ring. "Don't push your luck, Cooper."</p><p>But there was a tiny smile trying to force its way onto Blaine's lips, and judging by Cooper's incredibly idiotic and proud grin, he could see it, no matter how much Blaine tried to hide it.</p><hr/><p>The ultimate distraction for Kurt arrived a week later. He had ordered a beautiful French style crib online about a month ago, and it had finally been delivered that day. Kurt had it moved into the baby's room and contemplated where to place it, trying different options.</p><p>He had chosen a gorgeous, gender-neutral color scheme. The base color was a very chic grey, and the fun details all around were a bright yellow that reminded Kurt of the sun. He still had to put most of the room together, but he was having so much fun with it that he didn't care how much work it was.</p><p>The company where Kurt had bought the crib didn't have it available in the exact grey color he was looking for, so he had got a can of paint to do it himself. The comfortable grey armchair he had found at a hidden little boutique in Brooklyn was carefully wrapped in protective plastic so it wouldn't get stained with paint, and he had found some lovely yellow fabrics the other day that he was planning to use for throw pillows. The wall where he had decided to put the crib was painted in thick grey and white stripes to pull focus. It was all very classy, and the touches of color would make the room fun for a baby.</p><p>Kurt had loved every second of this project, and he couldn't wait until his kid was old enough to ask for the room to be redecorated in whatever his or her favorite colors would be.</p><p>He put on an old pair of yoga pants and a college hoodie, and sat on the wooden floor, carefully covered with newspaper, to start working on the crib. Even when he was drained after work, hiding in this room and getting more things ready for the baby arrival managed to relax him.</p><p>It was his very own happy place.</p><p>He stopped halfway through to order some Chinese food when his stomach started groaning, but went straight back into the room to keep painting as he waited for his dinner to arrive. He still hadn't decided if he would add some specific animal to the décor. What if he picked the one animal the baby would be terrified of?</p><p>He was balancing the pros and cons of sheep and bunnies when the doorbell rang. He stood up, careful not to touch anything with his paint-stained hands, and grabbed an old rag to wipe them clean as he walked towards the front door.</p><p>He was rummaging through his wallet for the money when he realized the person standing before him wasn't carrying a takeout bag. Instead, Blaine was looking at him a little awkwardly.</p><p>"Hi," he said, a bit unsure.</p><p>Kurt gaped at him for another handful of seconds. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks, but oh god, Blaine really looked amazing. That navy blue scarf wrapped around his neck went wonderfully with his skin tone… "Hi."</p><p>"I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced," Blaine said, looking down at his shoes for a moment, before glancing back up at him. "I thought maybe we could talk?"</p><p>"Yes, yes, sure," Kurt opened the door a little wider. "Come in."</p><p>Blaine stepped into the apartment. "I feel like I should probably apologize before we even say anything else," he began, as he moved towards the living room. "You know I tend to be a little unreasonable when it comes to my brother, but the way I treated you that day at my place…"</p><p>Kurt shrugged, uncomfortable. "I shouldn't have got involved. It was not my business."</p><p>"You had very good intentions," Blaine replied, smiling a little as if to reassure him. "I talked to Cooper, actually. He came to see me."</p><p>"Really?" Kurt was surprised to hear this. "And what happened?"</p><p>"He told me a few things I didn't know. It was…" Blaine shook his head, as if he couldn't find the adequate words to describe the experience. "Well, it left me thinking, that's for sure. And it made me realize that I owed you a big apology."</p><p>Kurt smiled warmly at him. "It's fine. I just hope you're in a better place with all of this."</p><p>Blaine sighed. "I think it'll take a while, but… I'm trying, yeah…" He paused, and really looked at Kurt since he had arrived. "Uh, were you busy? Redecorating or something?"</p><p>He began to look around, as if to find the changes Kurt had been making to his apartment, and Kurt realized, stupidly, that he had forgotten about the baby's room as soon as he had found Blaine standing outside in the hallway. His heart raced, throwing him into panic-mode.</p><p>"Oh, are you finally getting the guest room set up?" Blaine asked, when he noticed the light was on in the one room Kurt had often kept hidden from him.</p><p>"Yes. No, I…" Kurt hesitated, and when he didn't know what else to say, Blaine frowned at him, a little amused at his reaction, and simply walked towards the room to see for himself.</p><p>Kurt hurried to follow him, not sure if he wanted to close the door before he could peek inside of just let this whole thing come to an end – Blaine had to know, after all, even if this wasn't the way Kurt would have wanted him to find out.</p><p>Blaine froze just one step away from the bedroom. From there, he could clearly see the vintage chiffonier, the bags from baby clothing stores, the armchair… the half-painted crib. Kurt wanted to reach for the doorknob and keep Blaine from seeing everything, but it was too late.</p><p>This was the truth he had been trying to tell him for the past few months.</p><p>Blaine took one hesitant step forward, until he was inside the room. He blinked and looked around, completely perplexed. "Kurt… what…?"</p><p>Kurt held onto the door frame, afraid his strength would fail him at the worst possible moment. "I meant to tell you…"</p><p>Blaine turned to look at him, confused. "Tell me what?"</p><p>"I-I'm adopting a baby," Kurt said softly. "I got in contact with an adoption agency around the time I was planning Cooper's wedding. One of the mothers from the agency picked me… she's due in a few weeks…"</p><p>Blaine looked dizzy, as if it was too much information to process so quickly. "You…"</p><p>"I'm sorry for not telling you," Kurt hurried to say. "I wanted to, I tried to a million times… but I wasn't sure how you would react, and I didn't…"</p><p>"You didn't what?" Blaine asked sharply. He hid his face behind his hand. "God, Kurt, this isn't… this isn't something small, this is huge. Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"Because I knew everything would be over between us as soon as you knew," Kurt answered, quite bravely even though he was feeling a little sick. "I was having such a great time with you that I didn't dare put an end to it."</p><p>"You were having a great time with me," Blaine repeated, looking incredulous. "So what, I was some sort of distraction while you waited for your baby? What were you going to do once the baby arrived? Were you just going to break up with me or…?"</p><p>"I don't know, Blaine," Kurt said, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. "I hadn't figured it out yet. I thought maybe you would leave first and I wouldn't have to say anything at all."</p><p>"I can't believe this," Blaine mumbled, chuckling bitterly. "You knew we had an expiration date and you still let me believe we had something real? You let me fall in lo–… wow, I'm an idiot."</p><p>"No, Blaine, please," Kurt said sadly. "I know it was wrong of me, but I just thought…"</p><p>"You thought you could have some fun while you waited for the baby to arrive," Blaine interrupted, his voice cold and full of betrayal. "You thought you could keep me around while I was convenient, but as soon as you had the baby, you wouldn't need me anymore…"</p><p>"Blaine, don't say that," Kurt pleaded desperately. "That's not how it is…"</p><p>"That's why you told me we weren't on the same page that time you wanted to put an end to things," Blaine said, and his hazel eyes looked so hurt and so empty at the same time that Kurt didn't know what to do. "All this time, you knew you were just going to break up with me…"</p><p>"Blaine…" Kurt tried again.</p><p>"Fuck you, Kurt," Blaine said, as his eyes filled with tears that he stubbornly held back. "You've been lying to me since day one. You never even gave me a real chance, did you? You already knew you would end things. You made that decision without giving a shit about what I would think or feel…" Blaine backed out of the room, his gaze still on Kurt. "Well, you know what? I'm not going to interfere with your perfect little family anymore."</p><p>"No, no, please, wait!" Kurt reached for him.</p><p>"I hope you had fun. I hope it was worth it," Blaine said coldly, and just like that, he headed for the front door without looking back.</p><p>This time, Kurt didn't even think of stopping him. He knew Blaine wouldn't stay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt couldn't sleep that night. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, with only the light coming from the busy city outside his window painting shadows on the walls. He didn't want to cry, but stubborn tears trailed down his face anyway.</p><p>He had never thought he could be so happy and so miserable at the same time.</p><p>Knowing that his baby was on the way, that he would get to be a dad very soon filled him with the kind of joy he had never imagined experiencing. But losing Blaine was hard – he hadn't meant to care so much for him. It had all started like a one night stand, but it was so, so far from that now…</p><p>Well, it had been. It was over now, and this time he didn't think Blaine would be coming back.</p><p>Kurt couldn't stop picturing the hurt he had seen in Blaine's eyes. He had looked so confused and broken, like he couldn't believe Kurt was capable of inflicting him that much pain. Kurt hadn't known he was capable of it, either, and it horrified him. He had allowed things to go too far, and he had been too much of a coward to be honest when he still had time.</p><p>But a part of Kurt couldn't let things end like this. Even if Blaine never wanted to see him again, he couldn't let him go believing he hadn't meant a thing to him. Because every second he had spent by Blaine's side had meant more than months and months with other men.</p><p>He found his cell phone and quickly tapped it to access a new message.</p><p>
  <em>To: Blaine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from now, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I never meant for things to end like this. I'm sorry I made you think you weren't good enough, or that I didn't care about you. I care about you so much, Blaine. I understand that this is suddenly more than you signed up for, but I just hope you can forgive me one day. I'll miss you. I'm sorry.</em>
</p><p>It didn't seem enough. Blaine deserved elaborate apologies, complete with flowers and fancy dinners. He deserved kisses, hugs and promises he could keep. But Kurt had nothing to give him anymore, because he had become something Blaine wouldn't want. And Kurt had made his choice months ago – he couldn't back up now. He didn't want to back up.</p><p>Maybe his father had been wrong, after all, for the first time ever. Maybe Kurt couldn't be everything he wanted to be at the same time. Maybe he could only be a dad.</p><p>He wished his baby was there already, so he could wrap it up in his arms and find a reason to smile tonight.</p><p>He put his cell phone down on the pillow next to him, but it didn't light up again. Blaine didn't reply, and Kurt knew he was never going to.</p><p>This was really the end.</p><hr/><p>As days went by, Kurt didn't allow himself to think of Blaine anymore. He kept himself busy and distracted as much as he could, mostly by finishing up the baby's room, reading parenting books that made him panic and wish he had started on them <em>a lot</em> sooner, and working on the last few weddings he would be fully in charge of before the baby arrived.</p><p>Thanksgiving seemed to sneak up on him. He wasn't seeing his family this year – he wanted to be in town in case Tanya needed him, and Burt had preferred saving the trip so he could meet his grandchild. Santana and Dani were throwing a little dinner party, though, so at least he had somewhere to be, even if he truly wished he could hide a little while in his father's arms.</p><p>Dani opened the door with a bright smile. "Hey Kurt! Come on in!"</p><p>Kurt stepped into the apartment and lifted a paper bag from the bakery. "I brought pecan pie."</p><p>"Oh, thank you! Let me put it with the others," Dani said, still standing at the door. She seemed confused, and then looked out into the hallway.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, arching an eyebrow at her.</p><p>"Yes, yes…" Dani assured him, closing the door. "I just thought you would bring Blaine. Didn't Santana tell you to invite him? I shouldn't have left her take care of the invitations."</p><p>"She did tell me," Kurt answered, before clearing his throat awkwardly. "He's not coming. We broke up."</p><p>Dani's face fell. "Oh, Kurt. I'm so sorry…"</p><p>"Why are you sorry?" Santana asked as she approached from the kitchen, wearing heels so high that she towered over them. She glanced at Kurt with a frown. "You look awful."</p><p>"Wow, Santana, it's always such a pleasure to see you," Kurt deadpanned. He wasn't in the mood for her crude remarks.</p><p>"San, he and Blaine broke up," Dani informed her softly, as she wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist. "Be nice."</p><p>"<em>Again?</em>" Santana retorted, unimpressed. "You two break up more frequently than Rachel and Finn back in high school."</p><p>Rachel must have felt summoned, because she appeared in the hallway, with Lilah perched on her hip. "Hey guys! What are you doing gathered here? Hi, Kurt!"</p><p>Kurt could feel a headache coming already. All he wanted was an evening with his friends in which he could chat, eat and have a good time without thinking about Blaine. "Hi, Rachel."</p><p>"He and Blaine broke up again," Santana said.</p><p>Rachel's eyes went comically wide. "Oh, that's terrible news! We have to do something about that immediately!"</p><p>"No, we don't," Kurt said sharply, cutting her off before she could start planning serenades and other disastrous solutions. "He found out about the baby, it went worse than I thought it would, we broke up, and it's over." The other three were silent, staring at him with pitying looks that only irritated him more. "Now someone please get me a glass of wine, and talk of something else!"</p><p>"But Kurt…" Rachel started, as stubborn as ever. "Are you sure this can't be fixed? Maybe if you talk to him…"</p><p>"I won't talk to him," Kurt replied, running out of patience. "I already hurt him enough."</p><p>"Kurt, you clearly like him," Dani said carefully, as if scared he would suddenly start breathing fire and kill them.</p><p>"No, Dani. You know what? I was stupid enough to fall in love with him," Kurt said angrily. "I finally find a guy I love, and who I can picture myself with for a very long time, and then everything ends in heartache. I'm done. I can't deal with this. I have other things to worry about. I have a baby on the way and a business that requires the rest of my time. I don't have time to fall in love and suffer through all this. So can someone get me that fucking glass of wine or will I have to get it myself?"</p><p>The three of them stared at him, a little taken aback. Santana and Rachel looked like they were ready to argue, but Dani took his arm and slowly began to guide him to the kitchen, not wanting things to get even uglier.</p><p>He didn't see the conspirational glance they all shared behind his back.</p><hr/><p>Blaine picked up the remote and turned the volume up, hoping the television would drown out the noises coming from the apartment next door. His neighbor obviously had people over for Thanksgiving, and the sound of music, chatter, kids playing, and laughter was driving him insane. He just wanted everyone to <em>shut up</em>.</p><p>So Blaine wasn't in a particularly good mood.</p><p>Some of the guys from the gym had invited him over for dinner, but he had declined, knowing he would probably end up ruining everyone else's day. He didn't feel like painting a smile on his face and making polite conversation. He just wanted to stay on the couch, in his pajamas, watch horror movies, and eat Chinese food.</p><p>He didn't want to admit that he was rolling around on a pretty deep self-pity puddle. As long as he kept it inside his apartment, no one needed to know.</p><p>When his cell phone began to ring, he considered letting it go to voicemail. What if it was Kurt? He hadn't contacted him again since that very long apology text the night they had broken up, but Blaine had no idea who else it could be. He pretended not to feel the little flutter of hope in his chest – he didn't want anything to do with Kurt. He was done with him. He was done being hurt by him.</p><p>There was no point in loving someone who clearly would never love you back.</p><p>Reluctantly, Blaine stood up to retrieve the phone from where he had left it on the kitchen table. He frowned when he saw it was Cooper calling. Since they had talked at the gym, Cooper had tried to contact him randomly every now and again, mostly just to say hello. It never sounded like he was expecting anything from Blaine, but Blaine could notice the ridiculously happy tone in his voice whenever Blaine talked to him.</p><p>Maybe he had been wrong about Cooper all these years. He was still as much of a self-absorbed idiot as he had been when Blaine was still in high school, but he wasn't a bad guy. Sometimes it was hard remembering the same blood ran through their veins. Blaine couldn't imagine being brothers with someone more different from him than Cooper.</p><p>Before the call could go to voicemail, Blaine accepted it. "Hello?"</p><p>"Hi Squirt!" Cooper exclaimed, and Blaine could almost <em>hear</em> his smile. "Happy Thanksgiving!"</p><p>"Thank you. You too," Blaine replied. He went back to the couch, muted the television and wrapped his free arm around himself, as if he needed extra support for this conversation. "Uhm. Are you in Ohio?"</p><p>Every year, Blaine received the same email from his mother inviting him over for Thanksgiving. Every year, Blaine ignored it. He had figured Cooper went anyway, even if he refused to be part of the family.</p><p>"No, no," Cooper replied. "Michelle and I wanted to have our very first Thanksgiving as a married couple by ourselves. We've been so busy lately that we just wanted some intimacy… plus, you know. Food and sex. What else could you be grateful for today, right?" He laughed, and Blaine closed his eyes and groaned internally. He didn't need to know about his brother's holiday sex marathon. He hoped Cooper was wearing pants during this conversation. "I imagine you and Kurt are enjoying a similar day?"</p><p>Blaine felt himself tense. "No," he answered in a monotone. "Kurt and I broke up."</p><p>"Oh," Cooper seemed surprised. "Was it… is it still for what I did? I'm sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to drag him into…"</p><p>"No, it's not about that," Blaine interrupted, eager to end this conversation. "It's just… complicated. He clearly doesn't feel the same, and I…" He shook his head. "Look, it doesn't matter, okay? It's over."</p><p>Cooper sighed sadly. "If you say so…" There was a small pause, and then Cooper talked again, trying to sound cheerful. "So, what are your plans, then? Spending the day with some friends? What do you usually do during the holidays?"</p><p>"I have no plans," Blaine said, and god, could he be any more pathetic? "I don't have much to be grateful for, honestly." Yes, he could.</p><p>"Right…" Cooper said awkwardly, and a new pause followed. "Well, I think I hear the oven timer, so I'll go check on the turkey. It was nice talking to you, Blaine. I'll call you soon. Bye!"</p><p>Cooper hung up before Blaine could even reply. He pressed the phone against his ear a little tighter, as if part of him hadn't been ready to let go.</p><p>"Bye," he whispered to the empty apartment, and then let the phone fall on the cushion next to him.</p><p>He focused his gaze on the television, but he had no idea what was happening on the screen. He zoned out completely, and didn't bother turning the volume back up. The happy Thanksgiving dinner next door filled his own living room with cheery voices, and if he closed his eyes, for just one second, he could imagine he was part of it, too.</p><p>He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he was snapping his eyes open an hour later, startled at the sound of someone pounding on his door.</p><p>"What the fuck?" He muttered. He wasn't in the mood for any unexpected visits from his neighbors, and if anyone even dared to ask him for sugar or gravy or potatoes, he was going to punch them in the face…</p><p>When he pulled the door open, however, he was suddenly faced with a huge turkey covered in plastic wrap. He blinked stupidly at it, just as a head peered from behind it. His brother's blinding smile was the first thing he saw.</p><p>"Happy Thanksgiving!" Cooper exclaimed.</p><p>"I… what… Cooper? What are you doing here?" Blaine asked, perplexed.</p><p>"What does it look like I'm doing? Tap-dancing?" Cooper rolled his eyes. "I'm here to spend Thanksgiving with my baby brother. Now move out of the way, this bird is heavy as hell."</p><p>Blaine was too shocked to protest, so he simply stepped aside and let Cooper into the apartment. Michelle had been standing behind him, carrying two big platters wrapped in aluminum foil, and a paper bag under one arm. She grinned brightly at him.</p><p>"Hi! You must be Blaine. We didn't talk at all at the wedding," she said in a very thick French accent. "But Cooper talks about you all the time."</p><p>"I… yeah, it's nice to meet you," he managed to mumble awkwardly. "Come on in."</p><p>Michelle and Cooper immediately started moving around the kitchen effortlessly, heating up the food and looking for plates so they could set the table. Blaine stood at the door, watching them, completely dumbfounded.</p><p>Michelle was beautiful, just the kind of woman you would picture next to Cooper. They looked like they had stepped out of a Disney movie, a princess and a prince, with their eyes full of love, and silly smiles whenever their hands brushed as they worked. Blaine could see how in love they were, and his heart ached for a moment, wondering if he would ever find that.</p><p>He had found it, but it was gone now.</p><p>Before he knew it, they were sitting at the kitchen table. Cooper cut into the turkey as Michelle plated the rest of the food. She grabbed Blaine's plate and smiled at him sweetly.</p><p>"You want mashed potatoes, yes?" She asked.</p><p>Blaine could only nod. She gave him a very generous serving and then passed the plate to Cooper so he could give him some turkey. She and Cooper chatted distractedly as they did, and Blaine was fascinated at their dynamic. Sometimes Michelle would mix in a few French words, and Cooper wouldn't even blink, used to it.</p><p>When their plates were full, they simply looked at each other for a moment. Cooper grinned, as if he couldn't imagine anything better than being there, in his brother's little kitchen, about to eat reheated Thanksgiving food, instead of sharing a holiday sex marathon in private with his wife.</p><p>Blaine had spent many years without his brother, resentful and hurt. In the end, it turned out they had never understood each other – Blaine had thought Cooper hated him, and Cooper had thought he was being supportive when all he was doing was hurting Blaine even more. But it looked like they had finally reached some sort of middle ground, and when Blaine glanced across the table at him, he realized Cooper could feel it too.</p><p>"Thank you for being here," Blaine muttered quietly.</p><p>Cooper's smile was soft. "Thank you for <em>letting me</em> be here."</p><p>Despite the heartache, it was the best Thanksgiving Blaine had had in years.</p><hr/><p>The park was covered in snow. The air against Kurt's cheeks should have been freezing, but he couldn't even feel it. He was crossing the park, his boots heavy in the dense snow, but he suddenly realized he had no idea where he was going.</p><p>Was there a wedding he was supposed to be working on? Was he on his way to another doctor appointment with Tanya?</p><p>And why was the park so deserted? Never, in all the years he had been living in New York, had he seen Central Park so barren. It didn't matter how cold it was, there was always someone there. But as he looked around, Kurt realized he was completely alone, and the feeling that he was supposed to be somewhere else became stronger and stronger, until he was so overwhelmed that he had to find a bench and take a seat.</p><p>He closed his eyes, hoping to center himself, taking a few deep breaths. Something was wrong, wasn't it?</p><p>Kurt felt hands on his shoulders, as a jacket was wrapped around him. He looked down and realized he had been wearing only an old t-shirt, with a faded inscription that said Mendez Gym. He frowned, not knowing how he had ended up wearing that, or how he hadn't noticed he didn't have a coat on, with how cold it was outside.</p><p>Then he glanced up to see who was there, and his heart almost stopped when he found himself staring right into Blaine Anderson's beautiful golden eyes.</p><p>"You're going to catch a cold, silly," Blaine said softly, smiling down at him.</p><p>"Blaine?" Kurt gasped. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"You told me you needed help with the baby," Blaine shrugged, as his hands tightened on Kurt's shoulders slightly.</p><p>Kurt frowned in confusion. "The baby? But… I don't have the baby yet."</p><p>"Yes, you do," Blaine replied, as his hands became heavier and heavier on him.</p><p>"Then… where is it?" Kurt tried to shake Blaine's hands off his shoulders, but he couldn't move. He looked back up at Blaine, and saw him watching something in the distance.</p><p>There was a small bundle wrapped in a black blanket beneath a tree. There was a strong wind and the blanket loosened a bit. Kurt could hear the baby's faint crying.</p><p>"Blaine! We can't leave it there! It's so cold, why did you leave my baby on the snow?" Kurt asked, panicking. He tried to get up, but no matter how hard he pushed against Blaine's grip, he wouldn't let go. "Please, let me go!"</p><p>Blaine seemed confused. "I'm not doing anything, Kurt. You're the one who has to let go. You have to let me go to be a good dad, remember? That's what you said. That's what you wanted."</p><p>Kurt turned back to the baby, but snow was falling quickly, and he could barely see the black bundle anymore. "Why aren't you helping me? Blaine, please!"</p><p>He was crying. He could feel his icy tears running down his cheeks. His body felt so heavy that he couldn't even try to push Blaine away now. He leaned back against him, and let the weight of Blaine's hands keep him glued to the bench.</p><p>Suddenly, Blaine was sitting next to him instead. He smiled in that sweet way of his, and cupped Kurt's jaw in his hands.</p><p>"Are you ready to let go, now?" Blaine asked in a whisper.</p><p>Kurt didn't know what to say. "Why do I always have to let things go?" He said sadly.</p><p>Blaine's face fell and he tilted his head until their foreheads were touching. "Because that's what you think you need to do. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad holding on, just this once…"</p><p>Kurt wanted to move in closer and kiss him, but Blaine's attention was suddenly in something he had in his lap. Kurt looked down, and found Blaine was carefully cradling the baby, pulling the bundle closer to his chest, keeping it warm.</p><p>"Blaine…" Kurt muttered, unable to stop crying. He wanted to kiss Blaine, and to see the baby's face.</p><p>The hand Blaine was using to cup Kurt's jaw shifted minutely, until he could bury his fingers in Kurt's chestnut hair. He pressed their foreheads together again, and they both looked down at the baby. A small hand was getting free from the blanket, and Kurt stared at it in awe.</p><p>"You have to wake up, Kurt," Blaine murmured. "Wake up."</p><p>Kurt slowly reached towards the tiny hand, wanting to touch it. "Why?"</p><p>"Because the phone is ringing," Blaine said, and leaned in to press their lips together.</p><p>Kurt sat in bed abruptly. He was crying, sweating, and panting, as his entire body shivered. His heart was beating abnormally fast, and it took him a second to see the glow of his phone on the night stand.</p><p>He grabbed it in his shaking hand, and accepted the call, unable to see who was calling through his blurry vision. He wiped his tears away and tried to speak, even though it seemed like the hardest thing to do right now.</p><p>"Blaine? Blaine, is that you?" He muttered desperately.</p><p>There was a deep breath on the other end, but the voice that finally spoke didn't belong to the man he loved and had lost. "Kurt, it's me," Tanya said. She exhaled loudly, carefully, like she was trying to keep control. "It's time."</p><p>He didn't need to hear another word. Kurt knew exactly what Tanya meant with that, because this was the moment he had been dreaming of for months.</p><p>It was a little past three in the morning on December 17th, and Kurt jumped out of bed to rush to the hospital.</p><p>His baby was coming.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When a little while later Kurt wanted to recall every detail of that night, there was one thing that remained blurry. He had no idea how he had managed to jump off his bed and get to the hospital in record time.</p><p>He had moved in a trance, changing into the first clothes he could find and running down the stairs, too anxious to wait for the elevator, until he reached the street and the freezing December air seemed to wake him a little bit more. He tightened his coat around himself – a beautiful Marc Jacobs coat that didn't match his sneakers at all, which would have mortified him any other day – and looked around, hoping for a taxi. It seemed like, for once, New York was calm, buried under a layer of snow, devoid of the life it characterized it.</p><p>"Shit," Kurt muttered under his breath, and walked a few blocks until he found an available cab.</p><p>He spent the entire ride fidgeting with his phone in the back seat, almost expecting Tanya to call again and tell him it had been a false alarm. He must have looked paler than usual, because even the driver watched him through the rearview mirror and asked him if he was okay.</p><p>"Yes," Kurt said, breathlessly. "I'm fine. I'm… I'm going to be a dad."</p><p>"Oh, well, congratulations," the driver said with a quick smile, and then lost interest in him.</p><p>The hospital seemed to be a million miles away that night. By the time they arrived, Kurt threw a handful of money to the driver, not really caring if he was being way too generous with his tip, and got out of the car at the speed of light. He just wanted to find Tanya.</p><p>He reached the reception desk, panting, and gripped onto the edge, staring desperately at the nurse behind it. "My name is Kurt Hummel. I'm here for Tanya Brown. She's my surrogate."</p><p>The nurse gave him a reassuring looks as she typed something on the computer in front of her. "She still hasn't been taken to the delivery room, Mr. Hummel. She's in room 613."</p><p>"Thank you," Kurt answered, relieved that he hadn't been too late, and hurried towards the elevator.</p><p>Tanya was in a small room by herself, staring at the ceiling, her hands closed tightly around the bed sheets. Her hair was a mass of disheveled curls, and her jaw was tense, like she was trying to hold back tears.</p><p>"Oh Tanya, oh sweetie," Kurt muttered as he stepped into the room. "How are you? Are you okay? Where are the doctors?"</p><p>Tanya tilted her head on the pillow to look at Kurt. "I'm fine, just… in a lot more pain than I imagined," she said, and her voice was a little strangled. "Doctor Collins was here five minutes ago. She says I'm not dilated enough yet, and that I have to wait."</p><p>"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," Kurt reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "Is there anything I can do for you?"</p><p>"Just stay with me?" She asked shyly. "My roommate was supposed to come with me, but she's already back home for Christmas, and I… I don't want to do this alone."</p><p>Kurt dragged a chair closer with his free hand and sat next to her. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to. I'll be right next to you the whole time. You can squeeze my hand and yell at me when the pain is awful, and tell me how much men suck for not having to go through this." Kurt smiled encouragingly at her, and was glad to see a little smile reflected back at him.</p><p>"Oh, here comes another one…" Tanya scrunched her eyes closed and tried to breathe through her contraction, practically breaking every bone in Kurt's hand in the process.</p><p>Kurt grabbed a wet wipe from the bedside table and dabbed at the sweat on Tanya's forehead and temples. "You're doing great, honey. You're so brave."</p><p>She slumped back against the pillows as the contraction came to an end, and looked tiredly at Kurt. "Not so sure about that."</p><p>"Trust me, you're the bravest person I know," Kurt said sweetly.</p><p>"Well, I feel like a coward for what I'm about to tell you, so…" Tanya mumbled, making Kurt's heart stop in sudden horror.</p><p>
  <em>She's having second thoughts about giving the baby away. She wants to keep it. Oh my god, she wants to keep it. What am I going to do?</em>
</p><p>"Don't look so panicked," Tanya said with a brief chuckle. "It's not what you think, probably."</p><p>"Oh, well, then… uhm, what is it?" Kurt asked, trying to sound like he wasn't about to completely break down.</p><p>"I've been thinking and… I don't think I want to see the baby," Tanya said, looking away, as if ashamed. "I'm afraid it'll be a little bit too much. I'd rather not risk it…"</p><p>"Are you sure?" Kurt stroked her knuckles softly. "I'll be okay with whatever you decide."</p><p>"I know for sure I don't want to have a baby. I don't want to be a mother, Kurt. But… I'm scared that having the baby in my arms will mess me up. I'm scared it'll make me regret this, even though I couldn't be more certain that I'm making the right call here," Tanya explained carefully. "I liked my life, before I got pregnant. I want it back. I'm not saying this hasn't changed me at all, but… I don't want it to allow me to change me more than it has to."</p><p>Kurt watched her in silence for a few seconds, reading her like an open book, until he was sure he understood. "Okay. So how do you want to do this?"</p><p>Tanya relaxed, like he had been worried that Kurt would judge her for this. "Maybe once the baby is born and they take it away to clean it and check on it, we could say goodbye. I really want you to be with me during the delivery, not only because I don't want you to miss the experience, but also because I need the support. But then we should probably make a clean cut."</p><p>Kurt felt his eyes filling with tears. He had grown to adore this girl, this beautiful, selfless girl who was giving the most important thing in the world to him. "If that's how you want to do it, then that's how it's going to happen," he replied. "But if you ever change your mind and you want to meet him or her… well, you're welcomed to give me a call. You can be a part of our lives."</p><p>Tanya smiled gratefully. "I really made the best decision when I picked you to be the daddy. You were meant to have this baby, Kurt. Just promise me you will do everything in your power to make sure this kid is the happiest kid in the world. That's all I need to know."</p><p>Kurt sniffed and nodded vehemently. "I promise."</p><p>They smiled at each other until another contraction interrupted them.</p><p>It was going to be a very long night.</p><hr/><p>It was only a few minutes before seven in the morning when Doctor Collins came around once again to check on Tanya and, with a big excited smile, announced she was finally ready to be taken to the delivery room.</p><p>Tanya groaned, exhausted, and threw her head back against the pillow. "I don't think I can do this…"</p><p>"Yes, you can," Kurt assured her. He felt terrible for her. He was tired as hell and in need of a cup of coffee, so he couldn't imagine how she was feeling. And she still had a long road ahead before she could rest. "Come on, it'll be over soon, honey."</p><p>They got separated for a moment while they both got ready to enter the delivery room. Kurt found himself in a very unflattering hospital robe in a horrible light green tone that made his skin look sickly pale. But for once, Kurt didn't care about using every opportunity for fashion. He didn't care about anything but being back next to Tanya and not missing a single second of this day.</p><p>The contractions were apart by only a handful of minutes now, and Tanya's face was contorted in pain when they reunited. She instantly reached for Kurt's hand.</p><p>"You're so lucky you can't get pregnant," she said between clenched teeth.</p><p>Before Kurt could find an appropriate reply to that – because telling her he was glad he couldn't didn't seem like the right thing to say right now – Doctor Collins clapped her hands together and smiled at Tanya.</p><p>"Okay, Tanya! I want you to start pushing as soon as you feel your next contraction," she instructed, way too cheerfully. She stood between Tanya's legs that had been placed on holders and leaned in. "Are you ready?"</p><p>Kurt's hand was trapped in Tanya's death grip, but he was happy to have something to focus on, because he was feeling awfully lightheaded. This was an incredibly surreal experience, and it hadn't even fully started yet.</p><p>The room was soon filled with grunts of pain, and even a few sobs, as Tanya pushed like champion during every contraction. Kurt kept murmuring the most encouraging things he could think of, and brushed her wild hair back when it got on her face. He didn't know how helpful he was being, but it was better than thinking of how his future son or daughter was slowly coming into the world.</p><p>"Okay, guys, I see the head!" Doctor Collins announced after a few minutes. "I need you to push as hard as you can on the next one, Tanya! You can do this!"</p><p>"Yes, you <em>can</em> do this," Kurt echoed, leaning closer to her. "It'll be over soon, honey. You just need to push a little bit more."</p><p>"It hurts, Kurt," Tanya whined.</p><p>"I know, I know it does. But you've been so amazing… you can take the longest nap ever as soon as this is over," Kurt pressed his lips against her temple for a moment, and then helped her get in a more comfortable position to push again.</p><p>It felt like every encouragement got more and more repetitive with every minute, but Kurt couldn't think clearly, especially once Doctor Collins began to say things like "here's the head! Keep pushing Tanya, here are the shoulders! Just a little bit more, here come the legs!"</p><p>When the high-pitched cry pierced the air, it took Kurt by surprise. He had been so focused on squeezing Tanya's hand through one particularly hard push, that he hadn't realized it would be the final one. He lifted his eyes from Tanya's face to see the nurses rushing away, and there was only the flash of a tiny little hand before it was gone.</p><p>"Go," Tanya muttered, completely drained.</p><p>Kurt turned back to her. "I… I can stay with you for another minute. Are you okay? Do you need…?"</p><p>"Go meet your baby," she insisted.</p><p>"Tanya, I…" Kurt felt a knot forming in his throat, but he pushed through it. "I will never be able to thank you enough for this, I…"</p><p>"I know," she said tiredly. She pulled their hands apart and closed her eyes. "Go, Kurt."</p><p>Kurt leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."</p><p>"Don't forget your promise," she reminded him, opening her eyes to place them on him one last time.</p><p>"I won't forget," Kurt assured her, and with one last glance, he walked away from her and towards the cries at the back of the room.</p><p>A nurse was wrapping a tiny little thing into a white blanket. The first thing Kurt saw was a head with the most adorable little curls he had ever seen in his life. The baby's face was scrunched, crying and sobbing unhappily, as the nurse shushed it quietly, trying to calm it.</p><p>She saw him approach out of the corner of her eye and turned to smile at him. "Here's your little one, Mr. Hummel. Time to meet your daddy, cutie!"</p><p>Kurt choked on a sob of his own at that, and extended his arms, afraid that he would drop the baby or hurt it somehow. "Oh my god… I…" he looked down at the bundle in his arms. The warm weight against his chest made him feel like nothing could ever go wrong again, and he felt such an enormous rush of love running through his veins that it overwhelmed him – he had never imagined he could love someone so much in such a short time.</p><p>"It's a girl," the nurse told him softly, helping him arrange his arms to hold her more comfortably. "I'll give you two a moment…"</p><p>"A girl," Kurt repeated, absolutely incredulous. "Oh my god. Hi. Hi, beautiful." The baby's eyes moved to him and her cries subsided a little bit as she stared up at him in confusion. Kurt counted ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers, and stared at the perfect curve of her nose. Her gorgeous cacao skin made his own hand look so pale and yet so right where it was supporting her head.</p><p>She was everything he had ever wanted.</p><p>"Hi, baby," he said, as he watched her, full of wonder. "I'm your daddy."</p><p>He had never imagined he could be this happy. She was such a little thing, but she had the power to change his life – and she had been changing it ever since her mother chose him to raise her. He looked into her eyes and saw a world of possibilities that he couldn't wait to get to explore. He had never felt so full before, like he was about to burst with joy and pride. This was the best decision he had ever made.</p><p>With a wobbly smile of sheer bliss, Kurt looked around, wanting to share this amazing moment with someone, but soon realized, there was no one to share it with.</p><p>He pressed his lips to his daughter's forehead very delicately in a kiss and told himself it didn't matter – right here in his arms, he had everything he could ever possibly need.</p><hr/><p>Kurt followed the nurse to the maternity wing, where they wanted to keep the baby for a few hours so they could make sure everything was okay. He had to constantly remind himself to look up from the sleeping baby in his arms as not to bump into anything on the way. The nurse turned and grinned at him knowingly several times.</p><p>They settled the baby into a transparent crib. The nurse grabbed a card and a pen from her desk and showed them to Kurt.</p><p>"I will write her name here, so the nurses who come after me recognize her," she explained. "Do we have a name for her yet?"</p><p>Kurt stared at the baby for a moment, resisting the urge to touch her toes, not wanting to wake her up. "Penelope. Penelope Hummel."</p><p>He had been struggling to find a perfect baby name all these months, and none had seemed the right one. But now, as he looked at her, he just knew. This was his Penelope, the one he would go to the ends of the earth for. His whole life had led to this moment, to having her here with him – a true odyssey, filled with doubts, heartbreak, and loneliness, none of which mattered now. She had managed to erase all of it as soon as her first cry had been released into the world.</p><p>While the nurse wrote the card, Kurt snapped a picture of the sleeping baby in her crib with his phone. He sent it in a message to his dad, Finn, Santana and Rachel. The four of them would take care of spreading the news to anyone else who needed to know.</p><p>Under the picture, he typed: <em>Hello, I'm Penelope Hummel and I can't wait to meet my new family!</em></p><p>He almost sent it to Blaine, before he realized Blaine would never want to know about this. He sighed, and turned back to his daughter, not willing to let anything at all ruin this wonderful day.</p><hr/><p>It wasn't long before Burt Hummel was calling and practically screaming and bursting into tears on the other end. Kurt actually had to put some distance between his ear and the phone, afraid he would be deaf.</p><p>Burt, Carole, Finn, Marley, and the kids were all coming to New York to spend Christmas with Kurt, so they would be meeting Penelope very soon. It still didn't seem to be soon enough for Burt, though.</p><p>"I can change my plane ticket," he said immediately. "I can be there tomorrow, and help you with her until you get used to…"</p><p>"Dad," Kurt interrupted softly, as he leaned over the crib to watch his sleeping daughter. Oh god, she was adorable. "It's okay. You'll be here in less than a week. I'm sure Rachel, Dani and Santana will give me a hand in the meantime if I need anything. But to be honest… I just want to have her all for myself for a few days."</p><p>"Okay, if you really are sure…" Burt muttered, a little reluctantly. There was a pause, which Kurt didn't really notice, busy as he was staring at his little girl. "I'm so proud of you, Kurt. I know most of us weren't very supportive in the beginning, but… you have always known what you want and how to get it. You're going to be an amazing dad. That little princess is so lucky to have you already."</p><p>Kurt felt a few tears sliding down his cheeks and he wiped them carefully. "Thanks, Dad."</p><p>It wasn't long after his father said goodbye when the first visitors arrived. There was a little knock on the nursery's glass, and Kurt looked up to find Santana, Dani and Rachel standing there, smiling at him.</p><p>He walked into the hallway to greet them. They immediately wrapped him in a tight hug and congratulated him on his brand new parenthood. Then they pressed their faces against the glass so they could find Penelope.</p><p>"That one," Kurt said proudly, pointing to the crib near the wall. "Isn't she precious?"</p><p>"Oh, Kurt…" Rachel murmured, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh, she's beautiful…"</p><p>Before they could say anything else, Penelope started to move, until her eyes opened and stared at the ceiling for just one second, instantly wailing. Kurt startled, and the nurse gestured as if to ask him if he wanted to take over. He didn't need to be asked twice – he rushed into the nursery, followed by his friends, even though he hadn't had time to ask if they were allowed in there.</p><p>He sat on a chair and the nurse put the baby in his arms. "She's probably hungry," she said. "Would you like to try to feed her?"</p><p>"Yes, of course, I would love that," Kurt replied eagerly.</p><p>The nurse left them so she could make her formula, and the girls crowded around him to look at the baby.</p><p>"Oh look at those cute pouty lips," Dani said, holding onto Santana's arm.</p><p>"And her hair!" Rachel exclaimed, almost squealing. "Hi, Penelope! We're your aunts!"</p><p>Santana hadn't said anything yet, but she crouched so she could be face level with the baby, and Kurt could see the hint of a smile trying to appear on his lips. Her face was softer than it usually was.</p><p>"She's perfect," Santana finally muttered, and looked up at Kurt, letting the smile take over her face. "Congratulations, Kurt."</p><p>"Thanks, Santana," he answered, a little surprised.</p><p>She delicately grabbed the baby's hand, and Penelope closed her fist around one of her fingers. "<em>Oh</em>," Santana said, breathless.</p><p>Penelope let go of her when the nurse handed the bottle to Kurt, who followed her instructions until the baby had latched onto the silicone nipple and was sucking earnestly. Santana straightened up, and wrapped one arm around her wife's waist.</p><p>"Maybe we could have one of those," she whispered, looking peaceful and gentle in a way it was very weird to see her. "She doesn't look so bad…"</p><p>Dani's eyes filled with tears, and simply nodded, before pressing a kiss against Santana's cheek.</p><p>Kurt was distracted for a moment watching his daughter eat, but then looked up at his friends and spoke in a soft voice, not wanting to interrupt Penelope's lunch. "Santana, could you get me the number of that flower shop where you usually buy the bouquets for Dani's birthday? I want to send Tanya something."</p><p>"Sure," Santana, said, still a bit lost in her wife.</p><p>"How is Tanya doing?" Rachel asked, leaning against the armrest so she could watch Penelope too.</p><p>"I don't know," Kurt replied, feeling horrible about it. But he had to respect Tanya's decision. "She decided not to meet the baby, and she said it was best if we said goodbye at the delivery room. But I feel awful about it, and even though some flowers aren't going to be enough considering what she's given me, I think I have to do <em>something</em>."</p><p>"That would be nice of you," Dani smiled at him.</p><p>"What are you going to do about Blaine?" Santana asked, making him snap his eyes up at her.</p><p>"What? What do you mean?" Kurt frowned.</p><p>"Are you going to tell him about this?" Santana shrugged, as if it was obvious that he should. "Maybe he wants to know."</p><p>"We broke up," Kurt said, for what felt like the millionth time. He turned his attention back to his daughter. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. In case you haven't noticed, I have something right here that means a lot more to me than the man I wasn't smart enough to appreciate. It's time to move on."</p><p>"Except you miss him…" Santana added, and Dani nudged her with her elbow, as if to quieten her. "What? It's true!"</p><p>"I just want to focus on Penny now," Kurt said, not being able to stop the smile that bloomed on his face as Penelope tried to follow the bottle when he pulled it away to wipe at her chin.</p><p>Santana would have said more, but Kurt was in a world far away already, and he wouldn't listen.</p><p>He had always been stubborn like that.</p><hr/><p>Blaine was peeling his gloves off and stepping off the ring when he heard the slightly familiar voice.</p><p>"Oh, the smell in this place just reminded me why I'm a lesbian. Do these guys never shower?"</p><p>Glancing over his shoulder, he found Santana Lopez parading into the gym in red stilettos with a ten-inch heel that matched her pencil skirt and peplum jacket – she looked incredibly out of place there, and it wasn't long before every men in the gym turned around to watch her. Her fiery eyes settled on Blaine, though, and she moved straight towards him, not bothering to acknowledge anyone else, not even the other two women that followed shortly after her. Dani and Rachel were exchanging worried glances, but as soon as they saw him, Rachel became terrifyingly determined, and Dani sighed, as if in resignation.</p><p>This couldn't be good.</p><p>Blaine wiped his sweat with his forearm and then pressed his hands on his hips, trying to look calm and collected. "Ladies. How odd to find you here."</p><p>"Well, you know, there's nowhere better to hang out on a Tuesday afternoon than in a disgusting gym filled with filthy guys in need of a shower," Santana said sharply, and then turned around to raise an eyebrow to the group of guys who had gathered to watch the scene. "Can I help you with anything?"</p><p>The coldness in her voice was enough to make the guys scatter quickly. She really was an impressive woman. Blaine actually recoiled a little when she turned back to him.</p><p>"We were hoping to talk to you," Rachel said earnestly. "It's about Kurt."</p><p>Blaine hesitated. <em>Don't ask about him, don't ask about him, don't…</em> "Is he okay?" <em>Damn it.</em></p><p>"He's fine, don't worry," Dani reassured him quickly, and Blaine hadn't noticed he had become tense until he relaxed after her words.</p><p>"But he would be a lot better with a regular sex schedule…" Santana retorted, earning a very angry glare from her wife that made her sigh and give up. "Fine. We're just concerned about him. Since you two broke up…"</p><p>"I don't think that's any of your business," Blaine interrupted. He wasn't on the mood to talk about this, and even if the girls had nothing but good intentions, he just wanted to put everything behind him and move on.</p><p>If only Kurt Hummel weren't so difficult to forget…</p><p>"Look, shorty, if my friend is miserable, then it's my business," Santana said, pointing at him with her finger, getting it so close to his face that he was scared she would pop his eye out with those long, sharp fingernails. "He's too much of an idiot to admit that he misses you, and that he loves you, but I'm sick of watching him suffer in silence and pretend nothing's wrong when people are looking at him. For a guy who had enough talent to be on Broadway, he sure as hell isn't that good of an actor…"</p><p>"What Santana is trying to say," Rachel intervened, elbowing her friend in the ribs, "is that Kurt obviously hasn't been able to recover from your break up. He claims to be okay, but…"</p><p>"You're his best friends," Blaine said, shrugging, and pretending not to care was one of the hardest things he had ever done. "I'm sure you can find a way to cheer him up. Now, if you excuse me, I have a training session scheduled in ten minutes and I have to…"</p><p>"Blaine, please," Dani said softly. "We know you're hurt too, we know what he said to you and how things ended. We're not defending Kurt – what he did was wrong. He should have been honest with you from the beginning. But we've also known him for longer than you have, and we have never seen him like this. He didn't tell you because he was scared to lose you, and for the first time in years, he's found a guy worth keeping…"</p><p>Blaine stared at them open-mouthed. "I can't believe you three. Don't you think that it's Kurt who is supposed to be here telling me this? Don't you think that if he truly cared about me, he would have done something to show me that? He's pushed me aside more than he ever let me in. I wasn't good enough to be part of his perfect little family, so he made a distraction out of me…"</p><p>"Oh my god, you're giving me a headache," Santana rolled her eyes impatiently. "Are you always this whiny or is the lack of sex getting to you?"</p><p>"Santana…"</p><p>"No, Dani, he needs to hear this," Santana put a hand up to stop her wife. "He doesn't need me to be all gentle and sweet. He needs me to be a bitch who tells him things the way they are, and here's what you need to know, Anderson: Kurt is head over heels in love with you. He's a stupid coward who thinks you're better off without him, especially now that he has a kid. He's got it into his head that being a dad means he can't have you, that he can't have anybody, and it's not only pathetic, it's insane. But he had already signed the adoption papers when he met you, and he didn't want to back down – it took a long time for him to realize you weren't just having a good time and leaving him when you were done with him. You can thank all the other assholes he dated for the past decade for that insecurity…" She took a step closer, backing him against the ring's ropes. "We tried talking to him but he won't listen. All that fucking hairspray probably polluted his head and he can't grasp a concept as simple as <em>stop-being-such-a-wussy-and-get-the-man-you-love-back</em>. So if you want things to work, you're going to have to do all the work yourself."</p><p>"Wait," Blaine muttered, once she paused enough for him to interject. "You mean the baby was born?"</p><p>"Yes, a couple of days ago," Dani replied with a smile. "He took her home today."</p><p>"It's a girl?" Blaine asked, and there was no denying the little spark in his eyes.</p><p>"Her name is Penelope," Rachel explained, reaching to squeeze his hand briefly. "She's such a cute little thing."</p><p>Blaine said nothing for a moment, as the three women looked at him, expectantly. What was he supposed to do? They were more difficult opponents than the ones he was used to facing on the ring.</p><p>"Look, I…" He said weakly, and ran his hand through his head, nervously. "The truth is I don't think I can be the kind of man Kurt deserves. He's looking for someone to raise a family with, and I have enough to deal with in my life, so I…"</p><p>"We all have shit to deal with, Blaine," Santana interrupted. "But if we let that get in the way of everything else, then what's the point in living at all? I had plenty of shit to deal with when I met her," she glanced towards Dani and smiled softly. "And when I saw her, not only everything that was wrong seemed to suddenly become less relevant, it also made me realize I didn't have to fight against the world by myself."</p><p>It wasn't usual to see Santana like that, and Blaine was aware that he was witnessing a sort of miracle, especially from the way the other two were staring at her.</p><p>She seemed to notice that, because she cleared her throat and glared at him again. "So. Are you going to stop being such an idiot? Or are you just going to prove yourself right and be the kind of man who is a champion on the ring, but not out of it, where it really counts?"</p><p>Blaine swallowed with difficulty, and felt like he couldn't breathe. Santana looked at him for a moment, as if making sure her point had come across, and then turned on her heels and walked out of the gym as suddenly as she had arrived. Rachel and Dani stayed back for just another second, and gave him a hopeful smile, before going after her.</p><p>Blaine stayed rooted to his spot, long after they were gone, as Santana's words echoed in his head over and over and over again.</p><p>He couldn't think of anything else for the rest of the day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt Hummel loved being a father. He had known he would since he was three years old and pretended his blue Power Ranger was his child. His mother had eventually bought him a baby doll, and when Burt had arched an eyebrow at her, all the explanation she had given was: "What? You don't want your little boy to learn how to be a good father?"</p><p>This was the memory that came back to him as he crossed the threshold of his home with his baby in his arms. Penelope had fallen asleep during the cab ride, but she was starting to stir now, and Kurt smiled down at her brightly, still trying very hard to believe that she was his daughter, that this was really happening.</p><p>"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty," he cooed. "Welcome home. Are you ready to get a tour?"</p><p>She barely made a gurgling noise, but she didn't seem upset or ready to start wailing, so Kurt dropped the diaper bag on the nearest chair and stepped into the living room, showing her around.</p><p>"These are your grandparents," he said, as they stopped in front of a family portrait. "And your Uncle Finn and Aunt Marley. They will come meet you very soon, with your little cousins, and they are going to love you."</p><p>Another adorable little sound came out of her, and though Kurt had no idea what it meant, it made his heart melt. He went into the kitchen.</p><p>"And this is where Daddy is going to make all your yummy meals," he continued. "Which reminds me that we're going to have to hit the supermarket soon or we'll run out of formula. Yes, we will!"</p><p>He showed her his bedroom and his closet – "the shirts on the left are Daddy's favorite ones, so try not to puke on those, okay, darling?" – before moving onto her own bedroom.</p><p>"And this is all yours! Do you like it? Daddy wanted your room to be very, very special," he muttered, kissing her forehead. "Just like you. You're my special little girl."</p><p>Penelope seemed to be done with the tour, because her lower lip began trembling, and then she was letting out a very loud cry that made Kurt startle a little.</p><p>"Oh, it's okay, honey. We're done now. Do you want your bottle?" He walked back to the diaper bag to retrieve her new bottle and the formula. He got anxious for a moment, not sure if he would be able to make her bottle and hold onto her at the same time, but he took a deep breath and gave it a shot. He still hadn't pulled the stroller out of the box, and he didn't want to leave her alone in her crib when she was crying.</p><p>Once he was done, he went into the living room and got comfortable on the couch, making sure he was holding her the way the nurse had taught him before he put the silicone nipple in her mouth. She made the cutest little noises while eating, and Kurt watched her, enamored, until she finished. Then he cradled her against his chest and sang her to sleep.</p><p>He pretended not to notice the heavy silence that invaded the apartment as Penny slept.</p><hr/><p>A few days later, Kurt had just put Penelope down in her crib for a nap when his phone rang. He smiled brightly at the caller ID.</p><p>"Hey Dad!" He exclaimed, heading into the living room to fold some laundry – who knew such a tiny little thing as Penny would end up causing him to have twice as much laundry to take care of than he used to? "Are you about to board the plane?"</p><p>Burt sighed on the other end, which was a bad sign all together. "Listen, kiddo…"</p><p>"Oh, oh," Kurt frowned. "I don't like that tone. What's going on?"</p><p>"Flights are getting cancelled due to the weather," Burt replied grumpily. "They don't know when they'll reschedule it, but it looks like it'll be after Christmas."</p><p>"What?" Kurt dropped the shirt he had in his hands. "But it's Penny's first Christmas! It's Christmas Eve tomorrow! I can't believe this!"</p><p>"Trust me, Kurt, I'm way more upset about this than you are," Burt said. "I wanted to see my granddaughter. It's been almost a week since she was born and I still haven't hold her."</p><p>Kurt made a comforting sound. "It's okay, Dad. You'll get to monopolize her as soon as you get there. I guess we can celebrate Christmas on the 26th?"</p><p>Burt groaned, and when his father sounded like a caveman, it only meant his mood was going downhill. "We could go back to the house and get the truck. I'm sure we could drive to New York just fine…"</p><p>"Don't you even think about it," Kurt said firmly. "We'll still be here on the 26th. Just stay home, get warm, and let's wait it out. I'm sure everything will be better soon."</p><p>"I don't want you two to spend Christmas on your own. It's Penelope's first holiday," Burt protested.</p><p>"Well, there's nothing we can do about it, Dad. At least she's too young to notice. It would be harder if you had to delay Christmas with Finn's boys. They would riot," Kurt answered. "Don't worry about us."</p><p>"Fine," his father finally accepted. "Carole sends her love. We'll call again when we get back to the house."</p><p>"Alright. Take care," Kurt said.</p><p>Once they had hung up, Kurt deflated and leaned back against the couch. He hadn't wanted to sound too disappointed as not to make things worse for his dad, but the truth was that he had been really looking forward to this. He wanted his family to meet his daughter, and even if Penelope had no idea what Christmas was, he wanted to make the memory of her first holiday as perfect as possible. Rachel and Will had already left to spend some time with Will's family in Washington, and Santana and Dani had booked a vacation in Cabo San Lucas months ago. He had other friends in the city, but no one he truly wanted to share this day with.</p><p>With the wonderful craziness Penelope had brought into his life, he hadn't even found time to put the Christmas tree together. He sighed and glanced at the boxes of ornaments piled up in the corner next to the naked tree.</p><p>He wasn't in such a holiday spirit after all. He was more in the mood for a nap.</p><hr/><p>Since Kurt had brought Penelope home from the hospital, life had felt a lot like a dream. Even if he hadn't been sleeping much and his favorite Armani shirt had ended up in the trash, he loved every second he spent with her, and couldn't get enough of holding her in his arms and watching her perfect face.</p><p>But on Christmas Eve, Kurt wondered if he had made a mistake adopting a baby.</p><p>It wasn't that he was having second thoughts. He absolutely loved her, and would never change her for anything. It was just that it had been <em>hours</em> and, for some reason, Penny would not stop crying. He had tried feeding her, changing her diaper, rocking her to sleep, singing, distracting her with a teddy bear, and nothing had worked. She just kept crying and crying and crying in anguish, so Kurt began to despair.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said, feeling like he was near tears. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I don't know what you want."</p><p>Penelope's only answer was to wail a little louder.</p><p>"Oh my god, why am I putting an innocent baby through this? Why did I think I would be a good father? I am clearly inadequate," Kurt mumbled miserably, as he paced the living room with the baby, without a single idea of what to do to calm her.</p><p>What if she was sick? How was he supposed to know?</p><p>He went into the bathroom and grabbed the thermometer. He placed it gently in her ear and waited for a moment, until the reading was complete. But she didn't have a fever, and Kurt was honestly running out of ideas.</p><p>Next, he called Carole.</p><p>"Oh honey, don't worry. If you've fed her and changed her, then it's probably nothing. Maybe she has gas or she needs to burp. If she doesn't have a temperature, then just give her time," she said soothingly, and Kurt wished he could just send her the baby through the phone, because he was sure as hell that Carole would handle her a million times better than he ever could.</p><p>"I can't do this, Carole. I don't know what she needs," Kurt said, frustrated.</p><p>"Yes, you can. Babies cry all the time, Kurt," she replied calmly. "As long as you're taking care of her, then everything will be fine."</p><p>It took forever before she calmed down, but the one thing that seemed to do the trick were the lights in the Christmas tree. She stared at them and quieted almost immediately, and Kurt bowed to never take the Christmas tree down ever again. It would remain in his living room until she was old enough to go to college.</p><p>By the time she fell asleep at last, Kurt was exhausted. He took her to her bedroom and put her in the crib, watching her for a moment and making sure the floorboards didn't crack under his shoes, afraid even the smallest sound would wake her again. Then he went into the living room, collapsed on the couch, and forced himself not to cry.</p><p>It just had been a bad day. He was bound to have many of those. His family hadn't made it to New York for Christmas, his baby had been a crying machine, and he hadn't slept in days. It was normal. Things could only get better from now on, right?</p><p>His eyes were falling closed when there was a knock on the door. Kurt jumped from the couch, startled, and promising to kill whoever was on the other side if they woke his little girl…</p><p>Every threat died in his throat as soon as he opened the door and found Blaine standing there, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot.</p><p>He was wrapped in that amazing dark blue coat that Kurt loved on him, and a very thick black scarf. There were a few snowflakes caught in his eyelashes and hair. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold, and his eyes a little wide, anxious. He was holding something in his hands, hidden behind his back, and Kurt had no idea what this was about, but his heart began to race.</p><p>"Blaine…" he whispered breathlessly. "Hi."</p><p>"Hi, Kurt. I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Blaine asked, glancing awkwardly behind Kurt's shoulder, as if expecting to see a party taking place inside the apartment.</p><p>"Not at all, I'm just… a little surprised, that's all," Kurt admitted, unable to tear his eyes from Blaine. God, he was so <em>handsome</em>. It almost hurt to look at him, he was so perfect.</p><p>"Well, I wanted to stop by and congratulate you on the baby," Blaine said, a little sheepishly. "And give you this."</p><p>He extended a gift bag to Kurt, revealing what he had been hiding behind his back. Kurt was shocked to see there was a card on the bag, that said <em>Penelope</em> in a curvy script, with a smiley face drawn next to it.</p><p>"You… thank you, you didn't have to…" Kurt murmured, perplexed. "How did you know her name?"</p><p>"Your friends stopped by the gym the other day and told me the news," Blaine shrugged.</p><p>"What? I'm going to kill them. Did they bother you? I didn't ask them to do that, Blaine, I swear, I…" Kurt began saying, completely appalled at his friends' lack of boundaries.</p><p>"No, no, Kurt, please," Blaine stopped him, raising his hands between them as if to calm him. "They didn't bother me at all. It was actually very nice to see them…"</p><p>Kurt had no idea what to say, so he busied himself opening the gift bag. There was a little onesie inside, and he unfolded it to read the inscription, in black and pink letters: <em>Of course I'm cute… just look at my Daddy</em>.</p><p>The only explanation for what happened next was that Kurt had had a very, <em>very</em> long day. There was no other excuse.</p><p>He burst into tears.</p><p>Blaine's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh Kurt, I'm sorry… I… do you hate it? Is it bad taste? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come, I…"</p><p>Blaine's next words got lost when Kurt simply launched himself into his arms, holding him so tightly that he was sure he was cutting off his circulation, but he couldn't let go, couldn't get enough of the wonderful scent of Blaine's skin, and the way their bodies seemed to fit together so easily, as if made for each other…</p><p>"Kurt…" Blaine gasped, and now he sounded concerned. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"It's beautiful," Kurt practically sobbed. "Thank you so much."</p><p>"I'm glad you like it, but…" his hands settled on the small of Kurt's back, warm and safe. "I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction."</p><p>Kurt sniffed and pulled away reluctantly. "I'm sorry. I'm sleep deprived. I shouldn't have…"</p><p>"It's fine, really," Blaine assured him softly.</p><p>"Oh god, I have you standing in the hallway like you're some sort of door to door salesman," Kurt shook his head. "Come in, please."</p><p>"Are you sure? I don't want to bother…"</p><p>"Blaine," Kurt cut him off, because his politeness was cute, but Kurt was too tired to deal with it now. "I want you to. Please."</p><p>Blaine gave him a shy little smile before following him into the apartment. Kurt suddenly realized that his place didn't look as pristine as usual – there were baby things lying around, and even a few dirty dishes that he hadn't found the energy to wash. And then he remembered there was something that looked even worse than his apartment: himself.</p><p>His hair was sticking in every direction after running his fingers through it in anxiety all day, he was wearing sweat pants and an old hoodie that now sported a very chic white spot on the shoulder from when Penny had spit her milk on him. He hadn't even remembered to moisturize for the past two days.</p><p>But when he turned back to look at Blaine, he found him standing there, with his hands in his pockets, and looking at Kurt the same way he had always looked at him – like there was nothing more beautiful in the world, like there was nothing he'd rather be looking at than him.</p><p>It made him shiver, and his heart raced with hope and anticipation.</p><p>"I almost didn't come," Blaine commented, obviously wanting to break the ice. "I imagined you would be in Ohio with your family."</p><p>"No, actually they were coming here, but their flight got cancelled," Kurt replied. He gestured towards the couch and they both sat. "How have you been?"</p><p>"Okay, I guess. I was, uh, pretty upset after we broke up, but… I feel better now," Blaine said, suddenly very interested in his own hands. He unwrapped his scarf and placed it on the couch next to him. "I should have probably been more understanding."</p><p>"I should have been honest," Kurt hurried to say, earnestly. "It wasn't your fault that things simply blew up. You had no idea what was going on." He cleared his throat. "Although… I didn't want you to jump to conclusions."</p><p>Blaine tilted his head, silently inviting him to explain further.</p><p>"It was never about killing time with you," Kurt said, forcing himself to look Blaine in the eyes. He needed to make him understand. "At first, after Cooper's wedding, it was about feeling alive in a way I rarely allowed myself to. And then… well… I started having feelings for you, and I just didn't know how to deal with it. I'm sorry I ruined everything."</p><p>"Santana was particularly helpful at explaining your reasons the other day," Blaine muttered, but when Kurt's eyes filled with panic, he patted his hand to reassure him. "Don't worry. She didn't say anything bad or embarrassing. She was just… painfully honest."</p><p>"That's Santana for you," Kurt sighed tiredly.</p><p>They were silent for a moment, as if measuring their options, and then Blaine simply decided to change the subject, as if saying without words that he didn't need to hear more about that.</p><p>"So, how's being a father? How's the baby?" He asked, and the genuine spark of interest in his gaze sent a pleasant shiver down Kurt's spine.</p><p>"It's generally wonderful," Kurt replied sincerely. "Today was just a bad day. Penny just cried and cried for absolutely no reason and I had no idea what to do. But she's so lovely, and I love her so much already…"</p><p>"Were you there for the birth?"</p><p>That question started a conversation that shouldn't have been so easy considering how things had ended between them. Kurt told him all about Tanya, the adoption process and the birth, up to the moment he held Penelope in his arms for the first time and how surreal it had felt. He showed him the first picture he had taken of her at the hospital, and admitted that he had considered sending it to Blaine, but thought he wouldn't appreciate it.</p><p>"I would have loved to get the picture," Blaine said softly, and Kurt hadn't realized how close they were now, how they had shifted gradually towards each other.</p><p>"Then I'm sorry I didn't send it," Kurt murmured, and he only noticed he was staring at Blaine's lips when Blaine began to lean in. "Oh. Oh, Blaine… what about… this isn't what it used to be. You get two for the price of one, now, I don't… I don't think that's what you want…"</p><p>Blaine's hand cupped Kurt's jaw, and he was melting at the simple touch already. "You never really asked me what I wanted, Kurt…"</p><p>"You said you hated children," Kurt retorted, trying to stay conscious, which was proving to be very hard considering how close Blaine was.</p><p>"I panicked," Blaine replied. "I know nothing about babies. But I'm a fast learner."</p><p>"Doesn't this freak you out?" Kurt asked, as his own hands fisted Blaine's coat. God, he wanted to kiss him so badly. "I thought this was going to send you running for the hills."</p><p>"It did. I got there, breathed a little, and came back," Blaine shrugged, and oh, the smug bastard was smiling at him. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want this, Kurt. The truth is… I lived my life feeling bitter and resentful for way too long. And when you showed up, I understood that, no matter how many problems I had, happiness was there for me to take it if I wanted it. And I want it, Kurt."</p><p>Even with an appropriate amount of sleep and optimum brain function, Kurt would have been absolutely unable to stop himself from swooning at that. This was the man he wanted to be with. He may have appeared in his life with awful timing, but Kurt wasn't stupid – if Blaine wanted him, Kurt would have him, and he would give himself back to Blaine, and hope they could grab that happiness and never let it go.</p><p>Kurt had been waiting for someone like Blaine for a very, <em>very </em>long time, and it looked like Blaine had been waiting for him, too.</p><p>Well, the wait was over.</p><p>Kurt leaned in the rest of the distance and captured Blaine's lips in his. Blaine kissed back immediately, holding onto Kurt like he was afraid that he would vanish if he let go. Their arms closed around each other, pulling each other closer, as their mouths parted. The first touch of Blaine's tongue against his felt like coming home – it made him shudder with pleasure, and he realized his body had missed Blaine as much as his heart had.</p><p>Kurt panted heavily when they pulled away to breathe, Blaine's lips immediately began to trail over his jaw and down his neck, driving Kurt slowly crazy. "Would it be incredibly inappropriate if I ask you to stay the night?" He asked in a breathy voice.</p><p>He could feel Blaine's smile against his pulse point. "Would it be incredibly inappropriate if I ask you to move this to the bedroom?"</p><p>Kurt whined. "I love it when you're inappropriate. Yes, yes, please."</p><p>They pulled at each other's clothes as they moved through the living room and down the hallway, and by the time they reached Kurt's bedroom, they were only in their underwear, and Blaine was sucking a very impressive hickey on Kurt's collarbone.</p><p>"Oh god, merry Christmas to me," Kurt mumbled, throwing his head back and burying his fingers in Blaine's hair to keep him in that spot.</p><p>Blaine sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Kurt onto his lap. His hands settled on Kurt's ass, grabbing needily at him through the thin layer of fabric. "Speaking of Christmas… I assume you have no plans since your parents are stuck in Ohio?"</p><p>"Uh-huh," Kurt murmured, closing his eyes and rocking a little.</p><p>"Well… I'm going to Cooper's place for lunch," Blaine explained, and his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of Kurt's briefs. "We sort of reconciled, and he's been bugging me about spending the holidays with him and Michelle…"</p><p>"Blaine, sweetheart," Kurt whined urgently. "I'm very happy you made up with your brother, and I want to hear all about it later, but please don't talk about him when our dicks are touching."</p><p>Blaine chuckled, and thrust up, making Kurt groan. "You have a very valid point."</p><p>"Good. Now please fuck me," Kurt said ardently, making sure he was staring right into Blaine's eyes as he said it. He watched him gulp, and he would have sworn he grew impossibly harder against him.</p><p>"Oh god, merry Christmas to <em>me</em>," Blaine said, before pulling Kurt in for a new, passionate kiss.</p><hr/><p>The parted curtains allowed the glow of New York City to sneak into the room. Kurt shifted so he was on his side, and pressed himself close to Blaine, placing a hand on his chest and feeling the racing of his heart.</p><p>Blaine wrapped his arm around him, letting his fingers caress the curve of his ass, and smiled at him. "Hi."</p><p>"Hi you," Kurt replied, humming in contentment. He was so tired that he was shocked he didn't fall asleep as soon as he came down from his high – it had been, after all, one mind-blowing orgasm. "I've missed you."</p><p>"I've missed you, too," Blaine said softly. He pressed a little kiss to Kurt's nose, making him giggle like a schoolgirl with a crush. "And I hope I'm not rushing into things here, but Kurt, I…"</p><p>The sound of crying filled the bedroom, startling Kurt out of his daze, and stopping Blaine's words. Penelope was awake.</p><p>Kurt reached for the baby monitor on his nightstand and pulled the covers away. "I'd better go see her. I'll be back in…"</p><p>Blaine grabbed his arm gently, and looked at him, hesitant, biting his lip. "Uhm, can I?"</p><p>Kurt stared at him, surprised. "You want to?"</p><p>"If that's okay with you?" Blaine said, looking less and less sure with every second that Kurt seemed to take without answering.</p><p>If there was anything left of his heart after Blaine had melted it earlier, it was gone now. Kurt kissed his cheek and smiled. "Okay."</p><p>Blaine grinned and got out of bed. He retrieved his underwear and grabbed Kurt's sweatpants, which were a little long on him, before leaving the bedroom. Kurt stayed in bed, holding the baby monitor and staring at the ceiling, waiting, waiting…</p><p>"Hello there," Blaine's voice said through the monitor. "Oh, aren't you a gorgeous little princess? Yes, you are. What's wrong, my lady? Why are you crying, huh? Are you hungry? Oh." There was a pause, and then Blaine's voice got a little louder. "Hey, Kurt? I think she needs a new diaper!"</p><p>Kurt bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. "Alright! I'm coming, don't panic!"</p><p>"No, no, just tell me where everything is, I can do it!" Blaine insisted earnestly.</p><p>Kurt blinked, once again surprised. "Uh, there's a basket on the middle shelf of her changing table! Everything's there!"</p><p>"Thank you!" Blaine exclaimed, and then went back to talking to the baby, who had quietened considerably. "Okay, missy. Let's do this. Oh wow, it soaked through your clothes. For such a tiny little thing, you sure stink like a fifty year old truck driver…"</p><p>Kurt chuckled and decided to fish his underwear from under the bed, in case Blaine needed rescuing. He slid them on, switched the monitor off, and walked to Penelope's bedroom. He leaned on the doorway, crossed his arms over his chest, and was welcomed by one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen.</p><p>Blaine was clumsily unbuttoning Penny's pajamas, but he was smiling at her like she was the sun after a week of rain, and whispering sweet little nothings that Kurt couldn't even decipher.</p><p>This was what he had always wanted. Maybe he had gotten it out of order – baby first, man of his dreams second – but it didn't matter. It was perfect in its own quirky way, and Kurt couldn't have it any other way. When had Kurt Hummel done things exactly how the world expected him to?</p><p>Blaine caught Penelope's tiny foot in his hand and kissed the sole gently. For someone who had freaked out completely after messing up a bottle, this was incredible. Sure, he was clearly having trouble figuring out how diapers worked, but the adoring look in his eyes more than made up for it. Kurt's chest was filled with warmth, and he understood exactly how Blaine felt – Penny seemed to make people fall in love with her instantly, regardless of what their previous opinion on babies was. It was only logical that it only took Blaine five seconds of holding her to fall in love with her, and from the looks of it, Penny wasn't exactly upset about Blaine being there, either.</p><p><em>What else could I possibly want?</em> Kurt thought.</p><p>
  <em>Nothing. This is perfect, just like this.</em>
</p><p>"Blaine?" Kurt murmured softly. Blaine lifted Penelope and cradled her against his chest. He was holding a poop-filled diaper in his other hand, and looked at Kurt, a little lost at what to do with it, until Kurt pointed at the diaper genie in the corner. It was probably the least romantic scenario in the world, but Kurt honestly couldn't imagine a better moment. "I love you."</p><p>Blaine's intake of breath was the only sound in the quiet apartment. His eyes were bright, his lips parted, and Penelope was snuggled against his bare chest. Kurt had never seen something as beautiful as that before.</p><p>Blaine took a few steps until he was right in front of Kurt. Kurt put a hand on Penelope's back and another on Blaine's arm, needing to touch them both to make sure they were real. Blaine leaned their foreheads together and closed his eyes, an expression of contentment and peace taking over his features.</p><p>"I love you, too, Kurt."</p><p>It was simple and unadorned. They shared a quick little kiss, and then put Penny in her crib, watching her in silence for a moment until they were sure she was deeply asleep. Then Kurt offered his hand to Blaine, who accepted it without a second's hesitation, and guided him back to his own bedroom, where they cuddled under the covers and went to sleep. No, there wasn't anything special about that moment, and yet… it couldn't have been better.</p><p><em>Well</em>, Kurt thought as he drifted off to sleep, nestled safely in Blaine's arms, <em>we can save the romantic moments for another time. After all, I've always wanted a big, romantic wedding…</em></p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Epilogue</h2></a>
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    <em>February.</em>
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</p><p>Kurt took a sip of champagne and let the bubbly liquid swim around his mouth for a moment before he swallowed it. He rarely allowed himself any alcohol since Penelope's birth, but tonight was a celebration, and he had decided to make an exception. It wasn't like there weren't enough capable hands to take care of his daughter tonight…</p><p>He took a quick look around, making sure everything was going wonderfully – old habit, hard to kick off – which was, of course, when Tina found him.</p><p>Her wedding dress was voluminous but not in a tacky way. She had chosen a beautiful ivory color instead of traditional white that went great with her skin tone. She looked like a princess, and that made Kurt smile – every woman should be allowed to feel like a princess on their wedding day.</p><p>She wrapped an arm around him and squeezed him tightly. "What are you doing, Kurt? You're not here to work tonight. You may have planned the wedding, but you're guest. Enjoy yourself!"</p><p>"Oh, I am," Kurt muttered, sipping a bit more champagne, his eyes fixed on something across the room.</p><p>Tina followed his gaze and her face softened. "Oh. Well, isn't that the most adorable thing in the whole world?"</p><p>Blaine, dressed in an impeccable black Hugo Boss suit with a black and white polka dot bowtie on the collar of his crisp white shirt, and a red pocket square, was twirling in the dance floor, dancing to some old Beyoncé song, with almost-two-month old Penelope. He was mouthing the words at her in a very exaggerate manner, which Penny followed with big, wide eyes. Her red headband was crooked, and Blaine fixed it without missing a single lyric or step. He was getting very good at this.</p><p>"I can't believe you three have matching outfits, I'm about to drop dead with how cute you are," Tina said, squeezing his arm a little tighter as she squealed.</p><p>Penelope's dress was black with white polka dots, and she had a red sweater with buttons shaped as flowers on top of it. Kurt's suit was black, like Blaine's, but with a little texture. He was wearing a red silk tie instead of a bowtie, and a black and white polka dot pocket square.</p><p>"Well, Blaine is mostly in workout clothes. I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to dress him in a nice suit," Kurt shrugged as if it was nothing, but the way their outfits combined seemed to scream to the whole room: <em>we're a family. We're here together. We love each other.</em> "And Penny looks cute in everything, so…"</p><p>"I still can't believe you have a daughter," Tina sighed. "Sometimes it feels like high school was yesterday, you know?"</p><p>"Thank god it wasn't," Kurt rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have had time to work out all that baby fat for today."</p><p>Tina chuckled. She nudged him with her elbow playfully. "So. Any chances that the next wedding we all get together at may be yours?"</p><p>Kurt snorted into his glass of champagne. "We haven't been together that long, Tina…" he muttered. Blaine's eyes found his across the room. They smiled at each other, and Blaine used one of Penelope's hands to blow him a kiss. "But I'm starting to think that's very, <em>very</em> possible…"</p><p>Kurt found himself with an armful of bride, but soon Tina's brand new husband, Mike, cut in to ask his wife for a dance. Kurt wasn't there on his own for long, though. His father clapped a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.</p><p>"Hey kiddo. Having fun?"</p><p>"Yeah, Dad. You? Did you enjoy dinner? I let the caterers know about your heart condition and they prepared a special menu for you…" Kurt explained, which earned him an irritated look from his dad. "What? I'm just taking care of you!"</p><p>"I'm <em>fine</em>, Kurt." Burt assured him. Then he nodded towards Blaine and Penelope. "I've been talking to him before, while you were changing Penny's diaper. He's a great guy, you know? He loves you an awful lot."</p><p>Kurt smiled brightly, as he watched Blaine dip Penelope at the end of the song and place a kiss on her cheek. "I love him an awful lot, too, Dad."</p><p>"I can see that," Burt smiled. "I'm glad you found him, Kurt. I'm glad everything worked out the way you deserved it."</p><p>Kurt leaned his head on his father's shoulder for a moment, even though he was slightly taller than him now. "Thanks, Dad."</p><p>"You're welcome. Now, why don't you go dance with your boyfriend and your daughter? You've been standing here for like an hour, looking around. You're not working tonight, Kurt…"</p><p>"I'm a guest, I know," Kurt interrupted. "Tina just told me the same thing."</p><p>"Well, we know how you get when you're in work-mode," Burt shrugged.</p><p>"I'll go dance in a minute," Kurt put her champagne glass down on a table nearby. "I kinda like watching them together, you know?"</p><p>Burt hummed in understanding. "The poor man has been making heart eyes at you trying to get you to go over for at least three songs now. Put him out of his misery."</p><p>Kurt laughed at that, but nodded. "Okay, I'm going."</p><p>"Good. And save me a dance with Penny, alright? I want to get to hold her as much as I can," Burt said, his eyes fixed lovingly on his granddaughter.</p><p>"I'm sure that won't be a problem. Especially because you can't step on her feet. Carole had to take her shoes off after ten minutes of dancing with you," Kurt teased, and laughed once again as he ducked to avoid a playful smack from his father.</p><p>He waved over his shoulder and walked towards Blaine and Penny, who were still dancing together. Most of the people around them were watching them and cooing, and Kurt could understand their infatuation – he loved it when Blaine danced around with Penelope. Sunday morning dance parties have become sort of a regular thing in Kurt's apartment, after all.</p><p>"Do you mind if I cut in?" Kurt asked in a polite voice.</p><p>"Why, not at all, sir," Blaine replied in a silly voice. "My lady Penelope and I were just talking about how this dance would be so much more entertaining with one more partner."</p><p>"Oh, I see," Kurt said, with a twinkle of bliss in his eyes. "And did lady Penelope have a lot to say?"</p><p>"Well, she said she wouldn't accept just anyone to dance with us. She said this man had to be handsome, with beautiful blue eyes…" Blaine said, pretending to examine Kurt as if to see if he fulfilled the conditions. "Kissable lips…"</p><p>Kurt gasped. "She said that?"</p><p>"Nope, that one's from me," Blaine said, grinning as he leaned in to press his lips to Kurt's. "And oh, we definitely have a winner."</p><p>Kurt chuckled and wrapped one of his arms around Blaine's shoulders, using his free hand to rub his daughter's back. "Why are you so silly?"</p><p>"I don't know. They say falling in love makes people incredibly silly," Blaine replied, resting his forehead against Kurt's temple as they both looked down at Penny. "And if by silly you mean, happy…" he sighed, and moved to look right into Kurt's eyes. "Then it's because of you two."</p><p>Kurt's heart stuttered in his chest. It seemed to do that a lot around Blaine. Sometimes he just didn't know what to say, how to express all this happiness he had inside, that threatened to make him burst. So he simply kissed Blaine's lips, kissed his daughter's head, and kept dancing.</p><p>There was nowhere else he would rather be.</p>
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